


Brothers in Arms

by ShadowstarKanada



Series: Fathers and clones [2]
Category: Metal Gear
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-04-21
Updated: 2005-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:14:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 101,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23720659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadowstarKanada/pseuds/ShadowstarKanada
Summary: Love, betrayal and vengeance. Ultimately, isn't that what Metal Gear is all about?
Series: Fathers and clones [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1708468
Kudos: 4





	1. Chains on the Throne

**Author's Note:**

> I think this was written sometime after MGS3 came out, but long before any substantive information about Huey had been put in any games. As such, the name of Otacon's dad is Arthur (Hal and Dave, might as well put Arthur C Clarke in there), and he's pretty much a complete OC. MGS5 killed any chance of reconciling the story by a rewrite, so this is canon compliant only up until MGS3. And even there, it might be a bit iffy, because the majority of the plot was written before MGS3 came out!

_What difference does it make to the dead, the orphans and the homeless, whether the mad destruction is wrought under the name of totalitarianism or in the holy name of liberty and democracy? - Mohandas Ghandi_

In 1975, the cold war was arguably still stumbling headlong to a destination no one wanted to reach.

A year earlier, President Nixon had resigned from office. The anti-ballistic missile treaty he'd signed with Brezhnev would remain in effect for thirty years, outlasting even the great United States of Soviet Russia. The friendship with the Middle East that he talked of during his resignation speech was not destined to last so long.

Russia was well on its way to becoming an even greater power on the world stage. America's failure to emerge victorious from Vietnam allowed Russia to gain a stronger foothold in the country, leading to the fall of South Vietnam later in the next year.

Russia and America were, of course, not isolated in the world. China was gaining power and denouncing them both. OPEC nations started increasing the price of oil. Iran and Iraq, at war for many years, were involved in negotiations to end the fighting. Russia had designs on Afghanistan: stabilization of the region was not in their best interests.

In the early months of 1975, in the name of Russian sovereignty, Brezhnev acted: on a small base in Saudi Arabia, the machines of war began to turn anew.

* * *

The day was dawning as it always does in the desert: the sun rose to warm the yellow sand and brown stones outside, but not quickly enough to quell the frigid air creeping in through cracks in the buildings. The guards were as alert as ever while they walked throughout the compound, guns pointed both towards and away from the inner courtyard.

Arthur Emmerich was, to any casual observer, watching the sunrise, his hands clenched tightly around the flask of rationed water. His teeth were chattering and his hands shaking slightly from the cold, but his bloodshot eyes were steady upon the silent forms of the guards. He was sitting in the shadows of the engineers' quarters, watching as the on-duty soldiers paced back and forth. It had become something of a ritual for him to be there: watching and waiting for a chance to escape from what had become a rather nasty prison. Every now and then, one of the guards nodded at him and he pulled himself deeper into the shadows. It had only been last week (or had it been last month?) that one of the guards had hit him so badly he'd had to spend three days in bed when he'd tried to leave the place between watches.

He wouldn't have survived to tell any secrets anyway. It was for the best that he stayed in the compound. He knew that. They were only trying to protect him and all the others from the harsh outside environment: desert, desert and more desert, and hostile natives on top of it. Of course, knowing that didn't stop the forced confinement from chafing. It didn't stop him from wanting to escape. It didn't even stop him from trying, no matter how many times his attempts earned him nothing but a day of bed rest and a few more lingering aches and pains through the short Arabian nights.

Right now he was not planning another escape attempt. There was going to be a call from one of the heads of the operation this morning, and Arthur was going to be there listening. He might not have the power to do anything to stop the operations he was helping, but if he ever got free, he was going to have secrets to sell.

Considering his luck, they were secrets to _give_ _away_ , really, but everyone had to have their illusions, especially in dark times.

He watched the guards for a little while longer, waiting until the sun began to shine into his eyes, then walked over to the command area. He made reports often enough; no one would question him just as long as he moved confidently enough, as though he had nothing to hide. He wasn't supposed to be anywhere near this meeting, of course, but all Arthur had to do was fool guards who didn't necessarily know what the commanding officers were doing.

He pushed the door open as though he didn't have to answer to anyone, as though he'd just been sitting around watching the sunrise before starting on his work for the day. The bravado worked in keeping the guards from being suspicious, or, and perhaps more importantly, no one bothered to question him. Arthur pulled the door closed behind him before leaning against a wall that seemed terribly dark compared to the bright morning sunlight. He let out a shaky breath and looked around. There was always a risk.

He crept toward the main room where the phones were located. Being caught around there was quite likely to get him into trouble, but... Arthur was only going to skulk around the door. He wouldn't go in, and he had a file with him that needed to be handed off...

The conversation had already started by the time he reached the main communications room.

"... There will be enough explosives when they are needed, sir." Kayin, the more scientific of the two, was doing the talking right now. His tenor voice didn't ring the way his brother Habil's did, but the whiney way it tended to give unquestionable orders usually affected Arthur more. "Gunpowder and oil are such old fashioned explosives though. Our people are capable of creating _nuclear bombs_. It's a waste to use them for gunpowder plots."

"I'll decide what is a waste and what is a good use of resources, lieutenant. The intent here is not to provoke a nuclear holocaust that will envelop the world. I like technology as much as the next soldier, but we aren't going to use it at random." Arthur had listened to these conversations before, and vaguely recognized the voice. He only ever identified himself as Ocelot. He had a cruel streak to him, had recommended that guards who did not do their duty be sent off unprotected into the desert. He'd recommended that fate for Arthur, though he had been convinced out of it by Kayin. Apparently, Arthur Emmerich was too important to send out to die, had too many bright ideas that needed 'polishing.'

The whole captivity thing might not have chafed so much if he'd at least been granted proper credit.

"We've gone through a few simulations with the men, and they've gone quite well," said Habil. He was the real power on the base. "We're still working out the logistics on sending them to Algeirs."

"How many men have you had those successful runs with?"

There was a pause. Arthur could hear someone sit down heavily, and decided it must have been Habil. Kayin was much lighter than his brother. "The last run through was done with 50 men."

"50?" The disappointment rang through the phone line.

"Well... we're going to try another run with fewer, sir. Soon." Habil sounded anxious. If only it were Kayin... Arthur would give quite a bit to hear _that_ voice nervously trying to come up with excuses to give to his commanding officers. He'd even take the punishment that would inevitably fall on him for a missed deadline.

"25 is already too many men, major," came the tight voice through the phone. "I would prefer a force of no more than 10. Must I send someone else to do the job?"

"Of course not, sir. We're both working very hard to-"

"I know that you're both working hard. If your effort was substandard, I'd-"

There was a long pause. "Sir?" Kayin's voice. There was no answer. "Phone's gone dead again. I don't know why we have to put up with this. All of Russia, and we are forced to be here? With substandard equipment and men of the same quality? It's an insult."

"Don't complain. Ocelot's been known to push people out of the commissioned ranks for complaints."

"Yes, well, don't be surprised if- What are _you_ doing here?" Kayin walked out of the communications room and stared at Arthur, his black eyes flashing.

"I- um..." Arthur pulled the manilla folder in front of himself as a shield and felt his back pressing against the wall involuntarily. Kayin snatched it from Arthur's hand.

"Right. This is _late_. We're under tight schedules here, Emmerich, and if you can't handle them, you're free to go kill yourself off in the desert." Kayin's lies forced Arthur's eyes away. Kayin knew he'd tried to escape before. He'd ordered most of the punishments personally.

"Y-yes, s-sir." Oh, how he _hated_ that stutter that showed itself around Kayin. He'd managed to hide it for the guards, but every time he heard that hateful whine, Arthur's brain disconnected from whatever it was that gave a man the bravery to stand up to others.

"You're becoming a liability, Emmerich." Habil's deeper voice filled the hallway.

"I didn't ask to be here," said Arthur, his voice shaking.

"You might have been a richer man if you _had_ done." Arthur looked up to see Habil shaking his head slowly. "At any rate, we're going to need something more powerful, something lighter. Ten men..."

"You heard the major," said Kayin, backing up his brother without pause. "Get yourself to the labs and start everyone working on something lighter than gunpowder. We only have until the beginning of March. A few days," said Kayin with a snarl.

A few days to research something? What was the point? He couldn't ask those questions. "W-what happens t-then?" asked Arthur instead.

"Get to work, Emmerich. That water isn't given out so you can badger us with questions."

"Y-yes, s-sir."

"I'm sending someone to check on the communications lines," said Habil, motioning for his brother to follow him through another hall. "What I want you to do is..." The voice drifted away. Strange, for such a powerful voice. When Habil wanted the world to hear him, the world listened, and when he wanted to talk to his brother... well, the world couldn't hear a damned thing.

Arthur walked out of the building slowly. He didn't _want_ to design a better explosive for Kayin, even if it were possible in a few days time to do it... The winds were starting to blow outside. Arthur looked around with some interest. The guards seemed to be closing up the area. If there had ever been a chance to leave, now was _it_. The guards were preoccupied, and the weather... well, even if it got worse, he just had to follow the road. They couldn't be _that_ isolated: they had water and food delivered every week. He'd come upon something or someone, probably sooner rather than later.

All the soldiers were going inside... His heart started to pound in his throat and Arthur closed his eyes... it was now or never! "Let's book," whispered Arthur, then, taking a deep breath and curling his hand around his water flask, he ran through the gates. He kept running, his eyes on the road in front of him, until he found himself running out of breath. When he turned around, he couldn't see the compound. The sand was blowing too much.

It was starting to get uncomfortable. He closed his mouth against the sand, but it was _everywhere_ : blowing into his eyes, his nose, his ears. He hadn't really expected freedom to taste quite so much like dirt. Arthur crouched down as the sand blew around him. He covered his head with his arms, which were also bare. It was miserable, but Arthur was a survivor. The wind blustered about with no little force, and the sand stung everywhere it hit.

After a few moments of it, he stood and covered his eyes with his hands. He knew he had to keep moving if he didn't want to be back in the compound. Or more likely dead, shot on sight when the guards caught up with him.

Oh, god. He had to go back.

But how could he go back? They'd shoot him the moment he tried to get back in!

Arthur sat down again. The sandstorm was dying down already. This was probably the stupidest idea he'd ever had. He was going to die, and all because he'd made some idiotic impulsive move based more on his adrenal glands than his brain. He'd _never_ been the sort who could pull off this kind of thing... how the hell was he going to survive?

He sat down again, while the sand blew. He wasn't sure how long he sat there, but eventually the wind began to die down. When the wind had finally petered out, he stood up with a frown. He had to start going _somewhere_. The road seemed to go on as far as he could see, in both directions, so he chose one and started walking. Within a few minutes, his feet were hurting, the heat from the sand burning through the soles of the thin shoes the Russians had given him. He walked a while longer until the white skin on his arms started to prickle. He looked at them in horror: they were already turning red. He needed shelter. He took a sip from the water flask, then eyeballed the remaining amount. It was half-empty. He cursed himself again.

"There's only one option, really. I have to keep going. If I try to go back, they'll shoot me for getting out. If I just stop here, I'll die of... sun stoke or something. So if I just keep going, someone's bound to... to... be around here somewhere. An American oil company or something." Arthur smiled thinly to himself. Smiling always helped, didn't it? Or was that whistling? He'd try that too, when his lips felt anything other than parched. "All _not_ lost... no need to pray. Just keep going."

He continued walking, one foot in front of the other. His face was burning. His arms were burning. His legs were burning. The sun was staring down at him from the sky like some hellfire bent on destruction. It wasn't even noon, but the lack of air conditioning and shade was making his head ache and his mouth water. He took another drink and was horrified to find he'd somehow managed to drink all of the water. He was squinting against the light, but still he continued stumbling forwards.

He didn't know how long he'd been walking when he finally spotted a shining spot on the horizon. He turned his steps toward it, and felt his heart begin to pound as it resolved itself into some sort of vehicle.

"Over there! Hello!" Arthur waved his arms above his head. "Hello!" A jeep was coming towards him, dusty from traveling. "Hello! Mayday, or... S.O.S.!" It altered it's path slightly. Arthur sat down on the sand and waited for it to come, a more genuine smile appearing on his face.

It certainly didn't take long; in fact, as the vehicle got closer, it seemed to be speeding up. Arthur stood back up, trying to figure out if he ought to get out of the way. Just as he'd decided to jump to the side, the jeep stopped and the door opened.

The eyepatch immediately caught Arthur's attention, but he quickly looked away from it. No need to antagonize his rescuer, after all! "What the hell are _you_ doing out _here_?" muttered the driver under his breath. If Arthur hadn't practiced listening for those kinds of things, he'd probably never have heard it. "Who are you?"

Arthur's eyebrows drew together. Hadn't the man just recognized him? Well, it didn't matter, did it? Long ago memories of his mother's insistence on the rules of etiquette did their job, as he decided that politeness meant he had to introduce himself. "Arthur Emmerich. I... I work over that way," he said, motioning vaguely towards the path back to the base. "I was supposed to be going to the airport in Riyadh, but my car broke down. I've been trying to find civilization ever since."

The single light eye narrowed, but otherwise, the face gave no indication of disbelief. Arthur smiled, then winced. The sunburn wasn't good. "Get in," said the driver finally. "You should know better than to get out of your car. Wasn't your radio working?"

"No, I... I guess I should have checked it before I went out." Arthur opened the door and sat down carefully. "So... do you think you might bring me to Riyadh? Well... or anywhere I can rent a car and get to an airport myself. I don't want to take you out of your way, Mr...?" Arthur closed the door.

The other man got into the car, his heavier weight causing the jeep to bounce. "How long have you been out there, Emmerich?"

"Well, I... oh, well, that sandstorm hit... that's about when the car broke down... must have gotten sand in the engine or something, and..."

"And that's all you've had to drink?" The icy eyes flickered to the flask of water.

"Yes." The eye was staring at him. Arthur licked his lips. "There was more in the car, but-"

"Here." A bottle of water was thrust at Arthur.

Arthur stared at the water for a moment, then reached out and took it. "Thanks." The other man turned the air conditioner on full. "I didn't catch your name...?" Arthur tried again.

The jeep started moving. "You can call me Big Boss."

"What kind of a name is _that_?" Arthur would have looked at Big Boss a bit more carefully, but that would have involved turning his head. He had the feeling that the sunburn on his neck was not likely to allow it. Big Boss didn't seem to have an answer anyhow. "Okay. Well, then, if you could just drop me off at the nearest town, I-"

"You are Arthur Emmerich. No family contact for the past six years. You have a doctorate in mechanical engineering and a masters in chemistry. You know Russian, German and English, but you don't know any of the Middle Eastern languages. Your expertise in weapons is limited to how they are made, and you have no survival skills to speak of."

Arthur's head snapped around, and as expected, the sunburn protested painfully. He tried to ignore it. "If you knew all that, then why-"

"Something that isn't in my report on _you_ was whether or not you are a good liar. Now I know. Why were you out in the desert, Mr. Emmerich?" Arthur looked out the window. His reflection was staring at him from the side mirror as he tried to compose a response. "Drink the water."

Drink the...? Arthur looked stupidly at the bottle. It wasn't poisoned, was it? Some of the guards liked playing games. He'd seen it happen. "I just want out."

"Right." Big Boss stopped the car. "You want out, then get out. Take the water with you. The nearest town is... 10 miles that way. If you walk quickly, you might get there before nightfall."

"10 miles?" whispered Arthur. "I won't make it that far." He turned back to Big Boss.

Big Boss nodded and looked into Arthur's face. "Right. It's unlikely." Arthur swallowed. "I don't know how you got out of the compound by yourself. Believe me when I say that I _do_ care but it isn't _you_ who will be punished for it." Arthur nodded. He wasn't entirely sure he believed that, but... well, this Big Boss guy looked like he had what it took to kill a man and leave him for whatever carrion eaters there were around here. There really wasn't a reason to lie. "Now, tell me that you won't try to leave by yourself again."

There was only one possible answer to that. Arthur didn't want to get pushed out of the car. "I won't. It... it was an impulse. I regretted it as soon as I did it."

Big Boss stared harder, if that was possible, then nodded. "Fine." He turned back to the road and started driving. "And you're dehydrated. So drink."

Arthur looked suspiciously at the water again. He really _was_ thirsty. And, after all, Big Boss could have killed him already. He took a sip from the bottle, then a deeper gulp, then finally drained the water. Big Boss reached into the back and pulled out another, pushing it into Arthur's hands. "How much have you had to drink this week?"

Arthur shrugged. "Well, Kayin... I mean, Lieutenant Shet... once a day, he has us refill these. And we take our meals with the regular army. I don't know, it's not like anyone's counting, right?" Big Boss made a non-committal noise. Arthur took another sip of the water. "They're going to kill me when we get back. Even if you're one of them, I don't think you can promise me-"

"I'm not promising anything. It's a statement of fact. I outrank them." Arthur peered at the man. He didn't see anything at all that looked like insignia... In fact, he'd mistaken the man for a civilian, though, he supposed with muscles like _that_ he really should have known better. "You're looking for my credentials?" asked Big Boss with an air of disbelief. "I'm special services. We don't all go around in uniforms, especially when we're not on a base."

"Oh, right." Special services? He'd been picked up by _special services_? But they were sadistic! Everything he'd heard about them said that if they didn't kill deserters on sight, they shipped them off to... to Siberia or something! And Arthur wasn't even a deserter. "W-why aren't I d-dead?"

"Emmerich, stop asking stupid questions. You're not army, you don't need to be an idiot."

"R-right." Damned stutter. "A-are they going to r-recognize you?"

Big Boss gave him a sidelong glance. "Someone called this morning. He'll have told them."

"The connection got cut off. Ocelot might not have had time to..." Arthur faltered. "I was just passing by the doorway when..."

Big Boss smiled ever so slightly. "I won't call you on it. But I ought to change, if they haven't got the message. Soldiers won't even look at my orders if they don't think I'm one of them. I really don't like regular army." He gave Arthur a one-sided smile. "Don't tell them I said that." Arthur laughed back nervously as Big Boss pulled the jeep over. "You stay inside. Drink some more water." Arthur nodded and obediently took another sip.

As soon as Big Boss was out of the jeep, Arthur opened the glove compartment. Several medals... He paused to puzzle out the words on one of them: 'Proletariats of the world, unite!' Arthur smirked. A star with American colors for a ribbon puzzled him. A silvery disc with a red ribbon and Russian writing... It wasn't particularly informative.

Some books in various languages... all of them seemed to be about war; he couldn't really understand them, except for the Russian one on skirmishing tactics and the English translation of the Art of War. He opened them to check for a name or orders, but no secret bits of paper were inside any of them. Arthur put them back carefully and closed the panel.

He looked into the rear-view mirror to see the other man still changing. Unlike Arthur, Big Boss' skin was tanned. His muscles were large, and his scars were not confined to his face. "It must have been wishful thinking that he wasn't a military man," said Arthur glumly. "The guns should have tipped me off." Big Boss had strapped ammunition all over his body and had guns at his ankles as well as his waist. The knife on his arm enhanced the image of a battle hardened soldier.

The uniform made him look deceptively weaker. It seemed odd the way the material flowed around the muscles to de-emphasize them. Arthur reached down to the floor, wincing as he checked under his seat for anything of consequence, but there was nothing. He pulled his arm back up just in time to feel the vehicle rock again as Big Boss got in. "Pass me my medals, would you?" Arthur automatically reached for the glove compartment before pausing and pulling his hand back. Had Big Boss been watching him while he'd checked the man's medals? Should he just not touch the damned things? "In the compartment in front of you," he prompted. Arthur pulled them out nervously and opened the box again.

"Order of the Red Banner. Impressive," said Arthur.

"It's a medal. Everyone likes to see medals." Big Boss started driving again while pinning the medal to his uniform. "Give me the one for combat service." Arthur looked between the two left and handed Big Boss the silver medallion with faded Russian engravings on it. Big Boss took it and pinned it on. "Now put the box away."

"But what about the-"

In less than a second, a gun was out and pointing at Arthur's chest. Without taking his eyes from the terrain in front of him, Big Boss spoke. "Put the box away, Emmerich."

Arthur was nothing if not practical when a gun was pointed at him. He nodded, put the box back, and closed the panel with a _snap_.


	2. The End of Empty Talk

It was hard to believe that Arthur Emmerich, a scientist who looked like he spent more of his free time drawing circuit boards than exercising, had been able to walk such a distance before mid-afternoon. Granted, Big Boss had driven slowly and circuitously to take advantage of the chance to get more information before entering the compound, but it was still a good 7 miles that he'd walked in desert heat without any water and woefully inadequate clothes. Not to mention getting past seventeen on-duty guards. He would have been impressed, had Emmerich just planned a little better. Of course, leaving it to Big Boss to clean up after your lack of planning did not tend to ultimately endear one to Big Boss's way of thinking.

Still, the man was intelligent and rather an important piece on the board, as evidenced by current international attention in certain circles to his work. His own technical advisors kept talking about the man. He'd dropped Emmerich off at the gates ten minutes ago with specific instructions to the guards about not harming the man, and was now waiting in the main building's lobby area for the brothers Shet to appear. So far he was not impressed with either of them, although that was good in this case. He readjusted the Russian hat again in a futile effort to get it to sit properly.

As the sounds of footsteps became clearer in the hallways, Big Boss walked to one of the plans on the wall and began a show of examining it. In the reflection of his polished medals, he could see that it was in fact the Major who had come to deal with the new guest. Or rather, new commander in a few moments... He continued studying the layout drawings in order to make the man wait.

The base was not well designed. The buildings were connected to each other haphazardly, but the internal ventilation system connected every room with every other room. It was so poorly done that even the scientists labs had air vents that were connected directly to other sections of the base.

The major stood awkwardly for several minutes behind him, apparently unwilling to disturb a superior officer, before he cleared his throat.

Big Boss turned instantly. "Major Shet. Good afternoon. I hope there haven't been any problems?"

"No, sir. Good afternoon, sir. We weren't expecting anyone. If I could just see your orders-"

"Are you questioning my orders or are you questioning me?" Big Boss pushed his chest forward. "I, who was awarded the Order of the Red Banner? Who lost his eye in the service of the common people? Who-"

"Of course not, sir, of course not! But how long will you be staying, Lieutenant General? We need to set things up for your stay." The smile on the man's face was the same the world over. The same wheedling look of insubordinates who wanted to rise higher in the ranks, the same hopeful tone of voice, always trying to make the superiors happy, no matter what it took.

Big Boss smiled inwardly, careful not to betray his good humor to the major. "I'll be taking over this operation. You and your brother will still retain operational control, of course."

"Of course, of course. I'll just have someone set up a room."

"Near the scientists, if that's possible." Big Boss already knew it was. "I'd like to keep an eye on certain _problems_ you're having with security."

As he said it, the other brother entered the room. "Our little problem case. Yes, sir, I will deal with that very soon. He's done this one too many times."

Big Boss frowned. "Your last efforts didn't do very well." He turned his eye on the lieutenant. The Lieutenant's brown hair and eyes would have been common in any soldier from the USSR, though the almond colored skin would not have been common in the regular Russian army. He was a skinny man with no muscles whatsoever. Looks could be deceiving, of course... "I'll deal with the incident personally."

Lieutenant Shet's face turned into a twisted grimace of a smile. "Yes, sir." The tone of voice was disappointed.

Big Boss nodded at the Lieutenant. "General orders: we're going into high alert. We've received intelligence that the Americans are attempting something. From this point on, we will have complete radio silence. Understood?"

"Yes, sir," said the Major. He gave a precise military salute, which Big Boss answered with little effort, then gave a smile. "Why don't we take you on a tour, sir? And please, call me Habil. My brother is Kayin. It's easier than talking to Major Shet and Lieutenant Shet, isn't it, sir?"

Big Boss smiled at the Major. "It is, Habil."

"I can show you the labs," said Kayin, finally taking the cue from his brother. "Our people are working hard in there to make a lighter explosive. We're hoping to use it for the Algeirs operation."

A lighter bomb? Just what the world needed, lighter explosives. They would just end up being less powerful, and what was the use of having light, powerless explosives?

Big Boss looked between the two brothers for a moment. "I've heard some things about the science branch here. Do you know that scientists who have been stationed here have the highest attempted defection rate of any military outpost in the Soviet Union?"

Kayin's smiling mask turned uneasy. "They have to work hard here, sir."

"Yes. With little water and inadequate supplies."

"Sir, you must understand, the ones they send here aren't easy to work with. They've all tried to defect before, some of them didn't come from allied countries of any sort, and they won't work without firm leadership and a strong hand." Kayin's jaw set. "Besides, if the guards were watching more closely, little problems like Emmerich wouldn't happen."

"The guards are fine, Kayin," said Habil sharply. "There's a reason you haven't been promoted past-"

"Gentlemen," said Big Boss, a real smile forming. "Gentlemen, there's no need to argue. I'm sure you're both trying hard. Why don't we look at the science labs, Lieutenant? Maybe I need some first hand observation to go with the statistics they fed me at HQ. And then, Habil, you can bring me to see a few of your soldiers."

"Right this way, sir!" Kayin looked inordinately proud of being the first one to show off. Big Boss and Habil followed the man out of the main building and across the small courtyard area to the buildings on the right. "The structures are all connected by underground tunnels," said Kayin offhandedly, confirming some of the things Big Boss had just read on the base maps, "but we don't advertise that to the rank and file."

"Why not?" asked Big Boss.

"Well, it's not the rank and file so much as the ones we've been told to keep an eye on," said Habil. "There's a good number of undesirables at this base."

Kayin shot his brother a dirty look before continuing with his own speech. "We've done a lot to make sure that the malcontents are as secure as possible, of course. As you can see, the guards are always two to a patrol."

"I only saw thirteen up top," said Big Boss, putting a confused look on his face.

"As my brother was about to say, it's different outside because of the organization," Habil took over effortlessly. "In the buildings, there's two for each patrol for safety as well as guarding. Out in the sunlight, each of the guards are able to watch each other."

"If you'll come over here, sir," said Kayin, motioning Big Boss to precede him through the door. "This is the main lab. Each of them have their own area, to a certain extent, though they share much of the equipment." Big Boss watched for a moment. Each man cringed slightly as they passed, as though expecting a fist to fall on him. None of the men looked as though they'd been receiving proper nutrition or even enough water. Here and there, there were even a few who looked worse off than Emmerich.

"Our problem from this morning is resting?"

"No, sir!" Kayin looked almost shocked. "The biggest problem cases are kept at the end of the hall here. There are three of them; each has his own 'office.' Guarded," he said as an afterthought. "Emmerich should have been brought there."

"I see." Big Boss paused. He'd intended for the man to be brought to the base med team. The sunburn and dehydration was only going to get worse. There was nothing he could do about it now, of course. "I'll just have a word with one of them before we continue." Kayin and Habil traded glances. "Is there a problem?"

"They tend to be... erratic," said Kayin cautiously. "Many of them have difficulty in responding to authority properly. Not all of them, of course. Ah, this one is quite intelligent, wanted to come here to learn the language..." Big Boss allowed Kayin to guide him to a scruffy individual. "This is Geoff Bludstun."

Big Boss looked at the man for a moment before motioning Kayin and Habil to move away. The scientist was writing numbers into a black book, carefully adjusting a burner and looking at temperatures, and muttering to himself. He didn't particularly look like the kind of man who'd asked to be here. "What are you researching?"

"I'm doing experiments on the reactivity of copper phosphate ions," he said, his eyes not straying from the numbers on his equipment.

"When was your last break?"

"We don't have breaks. There's breakfast and dinner. Sir." The afterthought seemed to have made the man nervous. "We're working as fast as we can, sir. As hard as we can..."

Big Boss nodded. The man was skittish, and he was one who'd asked to be here. The ones who hadn't must be like Emmerich, trying to get out at all costs. It was no way to run a facility. No, he didn't want them to succeed; yes, it was better for Big Boss if all of these people wanted out: but this seemed dangerous. "What kind of safety procedures are in place here?"

"I'm not in charge of that, sir." The man's hands twitched.

Big Boss nodded slowly. There were a lot of things that could go wrong here. This place would be deserted at night: no one was dedicated to what they were doing in the lab. No safety procedures, so a fire might shut the area down for days while they determined the cause and whether or not anything was still dangerous. It might shut it down for days if the wrong thing caught fire. In fact, with the underground tunnel system and the poorly designed interconnected ventilation, the entire base might have to be evacuated... If that happened, the Algiers operation would not be able to continue.

"Lieutenant." Big Boss walked to base's two commanding officers. This might be a good time to get some good will out of the scientific part of this organization. "These men cannot be working at peak efficiency like this," he said in a loud voice. A number of heads turned towards him, faces carefully controlled while they tried to hide fear. "They need breaks. They need more water. They need lunch. You are supposed to be keeping these men loyal. Instead, you push them into the arms of our enemies."

"Sir, we are doing the best that we can, but these men-"

"Lieutenant, I want to see some positive changes here."

"But-" The major kicked the lieutenant when he started to protest again. Big Boss held in his smile.

Big Boss let a silence grow. "Habil," said Big Boss, "show me what is happening in the rest of this compound."

"Yes, sir!" Habil led him out of the scientists' buildings while Kayin, left behind, started shouting orders. Once they were outside the building, Habil stopped. "The guards are posted at each corner of the perimeter walls, with one patrolman on each. One is on each building, and three patrol the grounds. This place is near impenetrable, sir."

Big Boss nodded and made a show of looking for each of the guards in their assigned positions. "Your brother," said Big Boss in a low voice. "Can we trust him?"

"Of course, sir. He's not a bad man, he's very loyal. He's just not very good with people."

"Riding your coattails all the way?"

Habil shook his head quickly. "If you look at his records, you will see that I have never promoted my brother: his superiors have always done so." Big Boss nodded. "For all his flaws, my brother is as trustworthy as you are, sir."

"I understand." Big Boss smiled comfortingly. "He is your brother and your comrade. Now. Why don't you show me the training facilities for your men."

"Yes, sir." Major Shet quickly led him across the courtyard and into a building that looked like a carbon copy of the scientists' building from the outside. Even the layout of the rocks surrounding it seemed the same.

The inside was markedly different. Instead of hallways and doors, much of the area had been made to look like a set of underground tunnels, presumably a replica of a part of the sewerage system underneath the Algerian capital. An older soldier sat by the door, carefully watching the time on a stop watch. He glanced up as they entered, but motioned silence before looking back to his watch.

There was a noise in one of the hallways, and he pressed a button. A lively song began playing in the tunnels. "We swear by the lightning that destroys, by the streams of generous blood being shed..."

Big Boss raised an eyebrow. "What's happening here, Major?"

The major smiled grimly. "We've come at the end of the training run... they should be coming out soon..."

"...When we spoke, none listened to us, so we have taken the noise of gunpowder as our rhythm and the sound of machine guns as our melody..." As the second verse died and the third began playing, the old soldier shook his head and marked something down on his sheets. Big Boss took some time to examine the map. The paths were twisty, and some areas were marked with do not enter.

The sound of drumbeats grew ever louder as the song entered it's fourth verse. Habil frowned deeply as there was still no sign of his men coming out of the tunnel 'entrance.' "The cry of the Fatherland sounds from the battlefields. Listen to it..." Big Boss shook his head and looked towards the entrance. He could hear people vaguely running through the corridors. "Oh, Glory, we have held out our hand to you!"

The old soldier sighed and wrote something else on his sheet of paper. "Be our witness! Be our witness! Be our witness!"

The music died out as five men stumbled through the door. Habil shook his head in disgust. "Where was the explosion?"

They all looked unhappily at each other. "Sir, we cannot possibly have so few men in so little time complete this mission successfully." The old soldier stood, his hands slapping against the table as he struggled to rise on a game leg. "There are too many places where the soldiers have difficulty. They cannot escape before the bombs explode, not in this amount of time."

"Did they even _set_ the explosives?"

Big Boss walked to the map again and studied it.

"No, sir. There is no use in wasting even the token detonation charge."

"Where are the bombs set up?" asked Big Boss.

One of the younger soldiers with a bit of nerve walked to the map and pointed to an out of the way corridor. "Over here, sir." A raw recruit, his voice still cracking with youth.

"How much time?"

"The song lasts 3 and a half minutes," said the old soldier, pushing the youngster out of the way. The boy stumbled, and without a glance, Big Boss pulled him up. "We insert here. The men have to make their way _here_ ," he said, stabbing at the map. "We need to do it in under ten minutes. There are a number of alarms that we change every day: hitting one of them stops the exercise. The men carry the explosives with them. 50 kilos."

Big Boss nodded. "Right." He took another hard look at the map. "Give me a weight, and let's start the timer."

The old soldier cracked a smile as his eyes flitted to Big Boss's patch. "Right you are, Lieutenant Colonel. If anyone can show these youngsters how it's done, it's a man like you." The smile never wavered, and the soldier sat down, but his tone bordered on insubordination. He nodded at a pile in the corner. "The weights are right there."

"Sir," Habil smiled uneasily. "You really don't have to prove anything-"

"You have no faith, Major." Big Boss picked up one of the stones. "I believe in leadership by example. You're free to stay here, of course." Habil's eyes widened as he realized he was being told to _join_ in the demonstration. "How do you set the fake explosives?"

"Set it to 3 minutes when the song starts playing. It's a simple push button timer when you get there." Big Boss nodded minutely. "Then get back here before it goes off." The old soldier glanced at the younger men, then pressed the button on his stopwatch. "Go."

Big Boss went. He moved fairly slowly through the area at first, alert for the traps the old man had mentioned. The first one he came across was high in the corner: a security camera that scanned on a slow path. He took note of it on the mental map he had memorized earlier, his internal clock already synchronizing the timing with his mental timer counting the 8 and a half minutes he had left.

The second and third traps were easy to avoid: simple trip wires placed at awkward heights. The fourth was a variation on a theme: instead of trip wires, laser beams were strung up and down the hall like so many Christmas lights. He avoided them and found himself only meters away from the goal, with over 5 minutes left. He walked around the shallow pit just in time for the sound of drums to fill his ears. "We swear by the lightning that destroys..."

"That bastard," muttered Big Boss with a sardonic shake of his head. "I knew he'd do that..."

He put the stone on the floor and pressed the button. When the timer started, he grinned and looked around the area for a few seconds more before leaving. "We are soldiers in revolt for truth..." The lasers had started to move. Big Boss shook his head, but avoided them easily. He started running, jumping over the tripwires.

"From our heroes we shall make an army come to being." He pressed his back against the wall and carefully went under the camera's view. "From our dead we shall build up a glory." When he finished evading the camera, he broke into a run.

He exited the tunnels with a smile on his face. The soldiers were flabbergasted. "Let it be written with the blood of martyrs," Big Boss sang with the Algerian Anthem. "And be read to future generations. Oh, Glory, we have held out our hand to you, we are resolved that Algeria shall live!"

"So be our witness. So be our witness. So be our-" The sound of the explosion drowned the last word.

"So be our witness," said the young soldier quietly, his hand rising to a salute.

Habil looked at Big Boss for a moment, astonished. "That..." Big Boss grinned and tilted his head to let the man give the requisite speech to inspire his men. The major turned to his soldiers. "That is how a _true_ hero of the Union lives and breathes his calling!" he declared. "The West cannot defeat such men as this. We must all follow his example!"

The soldiers were still looking at Big Boss. Most of them had gone into full salutes. "At ease," said Big Boss. "What one man can do, so can all of you. Don't tell me what isn't possible: show me what is." He sent another grin to the old soldier, who was even now staring unashamedly at Big Boss' covered eye. "And no man is a cripple." The old man's eyes took on a faraway look. The young one's took on an idealistic glow. Habil looked uneasily at everyone. "And always remember the chain of command." The eyes of the other men turned to Habil.

"I want each of you to practice the course alone, with two stones! We will be ready, sir!" said Habil with a tone almost approaching the religious fervor Big Boss had heard from some of the Shiites who'd subsequently killed everyone around them in suicide blasts. Big Boss gave Habil a half-grin.

"There are some fine men here. I have no doubts that they'll be ready to complete their duty. I'm going to take a look at the rest of this facility. Remember what I said, Habil: leadership by example."

"Yes, sir!"

* * *


	3. Sing to the Sky

_The power of example is very important to people under stress. - Gen. Sir John Hackett_

"Geoff, it's heavy and unwieldy."

"But wax is a proven technology."

Despite the sunburn, Arthur was doing his standard duties. A lot of his job centered around paperwork: how well things were going, assigning jobs to others, keeping track of the work that was done. Luckily, he also had some more active things he was able to do. Right now, for instance, he was discussing stabilizers with one of his colleagues while a bored guard stood behind them.

"Proven technology is _not_ what we're doing here," insisted Arthur. "Do the degrees at the ends of our names mean nothing?"

"Of course they do. But these military men," said his colleague quietly, "don't appreciate research. They don't think they can get anything from us, and look at how they treat us. Don't think _we_ didn't notice you weren't here this morning. Don't think we don't see the sunburn just because they order us not to. We aren't military. They can't order _us_ not to observe."

Arthur shook his head and looked at the guard nervously when he realized that the collective attention of the room had suddenly turned towards him. "We're here _now_ , so we do our job," he said quietly. Despite his frequent escape attempts, it had never occurred to Arthur to talk to the other scientists about trying to leave the complex. Many of them had requested working in this area; even the ones who hadn't were generally Russian citizens. He hadn't really considered they would want to leave. "I've heard petroleum jelly can work," he said in a louder voice. "I read it in a paper a few months ago."

Geoff shook his head. " _None of us_ are really here. A lot of us, we've been talking. _You_ got away, even if you got dragged back. Look, if we all made a break for it-"

"No, I promised I wouldn't-" Arthur stared at the man, then looked away. He hadn't really meant what he'd said to Big Boss, had he? Of course not. If all of the engineers and scientists left at the same time, there might be a better chance of getting off to Riyadh. "All right, we're none of us stupid. We can't just _run_. If you're all serious about this, we need a plan. How many of us are there?"

"Twenty seven."

"But that's everyone," protested Arthur, his eyes widening. Did they really think they had so much of a chance? One almost-successful escape and they were ready to risk their lives? It was mind-boggling. Arthur glanced at the unconcerned guard again. He looked around the room at everyone. They were paying scant attention to the burners and tust tubes and electrical equipment, obviously more interested in what was happening with Arthur and Geoff. They wanted out, and they weren't going to laugh at him for trying anymore! "Right then, we'll-"

"Quiet!" Arthur turned around at the hissed german from one of the men behind him. The guard straightened at looked warningly over Arthur's shoulder as Kayin appeared in the doorway to the lab. He looked pretty happy about it.

It seemed that after the angry fuss he'd made, Kayin had finally found Big Boss and brought him back for a better tour. "You didn't have enough of a chance to look at what we're doing here, with my brother distracting you," said the lieutenant, walking into the room with the colonel. Arthur looked at him for a moment, guilt straining at the back of his head. He was considering helping everyone leave, but he had _promised_...

He felt his back press against the lab bench behind him before he'd even realized he'd stepped backwards. Big Boss' eye was lighting upon everything. It came to rest on him. For a moment, Arthur felt his eyes falling to the ground, but he raised them and forced himself to hold Big Boss' gaze. Big Boss was giving him an almost challenging glare, but it seemed more inquisitive than hostile. Almost... gentle.

Big Boss' eye looked away and Arthur's face drew up into painful confusion for a moment. Then he saw Kayin's eyes on him. Arthur shrank into himself and dropped his gaze quickly. His skin prickled where Kayin looked at him, as though Kayin had real heat behind his eyes.

The pause lengthened.

"So. What have you actually _done_ here?" asked Big Boss in a bored tone.

Arthur could hear everyone begin to shift uncomfortably. He looked around in what he hoped was an unobtrusive manner. Almost everyone was still looking at him and he frowned, shaking his head minutely and nodding faintly towards Kayin. The majority of the engineers and scientists went back to their work as though they'd never left it. Big Boss' eye flickered to him for a moment. Arthur suddenly felt a bit queasy as it occurred to him that being the leader when _Kayin_ was supposed to be in charge was, while gratifying, not likely to be good for his health.

"We've been advancing the formulations of numerous weapons. We've been specializing in chemical weapons for a while. This current mission requires standard explosives, so I've been working on making lighter versions."

"Have you?" Big Boss looked somewhat interested. "Are you a scientist then?"

Kayin gave a tense smile. "Yes, sir! I studied at the University of Moscow before receiving my postings." Geoff sniffed quietly. Kayin gave him a strong glare while Arthur elbowed him. "My input directly led to some of the weapons advancements we've sent to Moscow."

"I see." Big Boss smiled and walked towards Geoff. "I talked to you earlier. What do you think of the Lieutenant's input?"

Geoff mumbled something under his breath. Big Boss' mouth twitched.

"Lieutenant Shet has been instrumental in several of our major discoveries," said Arthur. Geoff shot him a dirty look. Arthur agreed with the man: Kayin had done nothing to help any of the men in this room. Unfortunately, Kayin had the power to _kill_ any of the men in this room. Arthur wasn't willing to let Geoff get himself beaten for telling some higher up soldier about Kayin's incompetence. "He was just giving us ideas on parafin wax as a stabilizer this morning."

"Was that before or after you went out?" Big Boss inquired lightly.

"Sir," said Kayin almost respectfully, "I think it might be best if we don't give any of them _ideas_."

"Well, Lieutenant," said Big Boss with a very small, controlled smile, "I doubt you would do _that_. What contributions have you made, personally?"

"We've been experimenting with chemical warfare. I guided them to some work on potential new applications of sarin last month."

Nevermind that the ideas had been proffered by Arthur Emmerich himself; nevermind that the extension given by Kayin had been completely unworkable, not to mention unethical and repugnant; nevermind that the work itself had been going on for three months before that and they had moved on: Arthur nodded.

"Is that in active field testing yet?" Arthur held back his laughter. This man certainly knew what questions to ask.

"Emmerich, have you started testing my ideas yet?"

His ideas? Arthur's hands twitched. "N-not yet, sir."

"Why not, Emmerich?" Kayin asked conversationally while stalking towards him.

Perhaps because they were dangerous and wouldn't work? "We've been having more luck with t-trychothecene." Kayin kept moving closer. If Arthur could have moved farther back, he would have. "The... the sarin is proving difficult to w-work with and..." Kayin was inches away from him. He could feel the man's breath on the top of his head, could see Kayin's hands slowly forming fists. He looked up. Big Boss was watching over the Lieutenant's shoulder, a calculating expression on his face. "And..." He was just standing there, his good eye on Arthur's face. "And..." The whole room was focusing on him again, experiments being forgotten or set slightly aside. Beside him, Geoff had pulled away. The guard was tapping his hand against his gun, standing alert.

"And?" Kayin asked pleasantly.

Big Boss was staring at him, unwavering. Challenging. Arthur's eyes went over Kayin's shoulder and rested on Big Boss' face. "The research on sarin has been discontinued, sir."

The small smile from Big Boss was instant gratification. The hit to his gut from Kayin was ultimate agony. That he did not hit the ground alone was priceless.

"You will not hit your staff, Lieutenant." Big Boss' face appeared over Arthur's. "A good officer leads. A good officer is not afraid of the truth." Big Boss extended his hand to Arthur. Arthur took it. "A good officer should inspire people to follow his actions." Even though Big Boss had turned his attention to Kayin, Arthur had the most disconcerting feeling that the words were directed to him.

Arthur's eyes couldn't pull away from Big Boss as the soldier offered his hand to Kayin.

"Sir." Kayin's strangled voice chopped the word and he stood by himself.

Big Boss shrugged and pulled his hand back and smiled with one corner of his mouth. "You can't expect to get higher than Lieutenant by your _brother's_ work. In the meantime, these men haven't had enough to drink today."

"Sir."

He nodded a dismissal towards Kayin. "Walk with me, Arthur." Arthur nodded slightly, his feet moving him forward without his express consent. "We'll leave your guard here." Arthur nodded again and followed behind Big Boss through the corridor and out into the sun. Even at dusk, there was enough sun and heat to make Arthur feel distinctly bad, but he continued following Big Boss until they reached a shadowed area where the soldier leaned against the wall.

Big Boss took a cigar from his pocket and lit it. "What do you see, Arthur?"

Arthur looked at him pensively. "A cuban cigar?" Big Boss chuckled. "Sand? Desert? A sunset? The sunset's on the other side of the building, though."

"Sit down," he said, still half-laughing, as he slid down the wall. Arthur joined him on the cooling sand. "I see opportunity here, Arthur." Arthur nodded slowly. "These men, the soldiers and the scientists... If you were in command, what would you do?"

Arthur shrugged. "I'd leave. Take everyone with me."

"Hmph. I don't think the guards would let you." Big Boss gave Arthur a smile. "Let's say the soldiers didn't want you to leave. How would you get your scientist friends out?"

Arthur sighed. He'd been working on that problem by himself for such a long time that it was hard to think of how to do it with others. Still... "There's a timing to the way the guards move. And the whole pairs thing isn't foolproof. Lots of times, there's someone who isn't being watched. If we could take them out one by one, we could do it."

Big Boss nodded. "But you're talking about scientists and engineers. You people don't have guns. How would you take down a soldier?"

"We're doing research for chemical weapons. How do you _think_ we'd take down a soldier?"

"There is that," said Big Boss, a smirk on his face. He drew the smoke into himself and slowly blew it out. "You smoke, Arthur?"

"I don't like cigars. They taste disgusting."

Big Boss looked at his cigar, the amusement clear on his face. "You haven't tried a Cuban." He pulled one from his pocket and held it out to Arthur.

"I really don't think the heat would be good for me right now."

"Probably not," Big Boss nodded and put it away. "Tell me something, Arthur. Why didn't you continue with chemistry?"

"You saw my records, so... you know I was studying with Afinson?" Big Boss nodded. "I had some great ideas. He got a Nobel prize. It's pretty much that simple. You tell me something... what's your real name?"

"After a week on the battlefield, there aren't any names left."

Arthur looked down at the sand. "That's pretty sad."

Big Boss shrugged. "Some people might say so."

Arthur looked up. The sky was darkening. "I think you just don't want to tell me." Big Boss shook his head, his sardonic half-smile reappearing. "You don't want to tell me. That's all right. We're not friends."

"You're a good man, Arthur. A good leader. Potential officer material. You just need to learn... a few things. For example," Big Boss touched Arthur's sunburned hand. "You need to know when it's better _not_ to run off into the desert." Arthur shrugged uneasily. "How's your gut?"

"Hm? Oh, you mean from when Kayin punched me. That wasn't so bad. He's done worse to everyone." He smiled briefly. "It knocked me down, but I could still get up afterwards."

Big Boss nodded. "All right. Have you seen the doctor about the rest of it?"

"The... the rest of it? I can't!" The stories Arthur had heard... Before he'd come, a man had been injured, and gone to the base doctor. Kayin had heard about it and had him beaten to death! If it wasn't going to kill him, Arthur had no wish to go to the doctor. "K-Kayin... he'd b-be upset. It's my own fault. H-how would I learn a lesson if I w-went to the doctor over it, right?"

Big Boss shook his head sharply and put out the cigar. "How long have you been here, Arthur?"

"Here specifically? A year and a half. I think. Shouldn't that have been in my files?"

Big Boss shrugged casually. "I don't remember _everything_ that was on them." He pulled something out of one of his pockets. "Here. Get that on your burns." Arthur took it and looked between the tube and Big Boss. "It's burn ointment."

"Thanks." Arthur started putting the ointment on. It felt cool against his skin, unless that was just the nighttime breeze that was starting to pick up from the west.

"Are you going to try it, Arthur?"

"Try what?"

"Are you going to try to get the rest of the scientists out?"

Arthur raised his eyes. " _You_ told me where the nearest town was." Big Boss was staring at him again. Arthur stared back for a moment. "I don't know," he said finally, breaking eye contact.

Big Boss nodded slowly. "What if things were better? Do you all hate weapons design so much?"

"I can't speak for anyone else." Arthur rubbed the ointment onto his face. "But I personally think it's... it's a great work. My father worked on the Manhattan Project. A lot of people... There were a lot of people who thought that man shouldn't have that kind of power."

"You think we should? Don't forget your eyelids."

"I'm _proud_ that we do. I'm _proud_ that my father worked on the most perfect project in the history of mankind."

"All those people died. You're proud of that?"

"They were the enemy," said Arthur harshly. "Why _shouldn't_ I be proud that my father helped to stop a war?" Arthur put the cap back on the ointment and offered it back to Big Boss. The other man waved it away. "I grew up with them. Oppenheimer, Groves, Fermi, von Neumann, Compton... they were like unofficial uncles. I'm _proud_ of what they did."

"And what you've done?"

Arthur sighed. "Dad told me to go into physics. Maybe if I had, things would have been easier. I just didn't want to follow in his footsteps. I haven't made a name for myself, I... well, I ended up here." He laughed nervously and looked up at the sky. It was getting towards full night now. They were going to miss dinner, and the water that came with it... "But I don't have a guilty conscience, if that's what you mean."

Big Boss nodded again. "So how would you get them out? Hypothetically."

"Well... I don't think we're in any condition to climb up or down walls. We'd probably break our legs. So at minimum, we'd have to take down the two on gate duty. We could probably distract the three on the ground, so they wouldn't be too much of a problem."

"Distract them _how_ exactly?"

"I told you we're developing weapons here. Not all of them need real skill to deploy." He considered the look of the place. "Really, if we were going to do an all-or-nothing break for it... I guess we could set up explosives. If we set them up on three of the walls, the guards might be too distracted to notice us going through the front gate! Of course, the explosions would probably have the rest of the guards up... might not be such a good idea."

"Mmhm." Big Boss smiled at him. "Explosives can be difficult to set up, too. You might have one of them go off early if you weren't careful. Your scientists aren't demolitions experts, after all."

"No." Arthur pulled his lips together. "But I think we've got enough people who know how to put together a time bomb. If we had one go off at the far wall, we would get everyone's attention there. And then, if we had more go off to cover our escape... We might even make it seem like the base was under attack, if we timed it right. They'd be too busy looking at the dunes to watch us."

"What about the underground tunnels?"

Arthur's eyes widened. Those were supposed to be secret. "What underground tunnels?" Big Boss gave him a look.

"I said I liked honesty, Emmerich."

Arthur looked away. "Well, they don't go outside the complex anyway. But... A few explosives in them might keep everyone from watching what's going on outside. But I'd worry about taking the whole place down. They aren't structurally sound, you know. And if it went down, everyone would be out. There'd be a lot of dead."

"I thought you didn't have the problem of a guilty conscience."

"If I'm leading them out, I don't want any of them dead!"

"Good. But sometimes having casualties on your own side is the only way to an objective, Arthur."

"Maybe. But I don't think this is one of those times. The guards spend more time watching each other than anything on the ground." Arthur drew a picture of the base in the sand with his finger. "There's a big dune here." Arthur's finger stabbed a place not far away from the compound. "All we'd have to do is get here, and then here, and then here..." The sand was sticky. Arthur brushed it off his sunburned finger.

Big Boss' finger came down and traced a path between the dots before he wiped the picture from the sand. "So. When's the escape attempt, Arthur?"

Arthur looked up at Big Boss, the blossom of fear opening in his belly. "That was all theoretical. Just a what-if." The other man smiled, danger shining in his eye. "I promised you I wouldn't." His hand was moving to one of the guns. "I won't!" Arthur moved backwards, not quite daring to get up and run.

Big Boss' smile grew. Arthur's eyes locked on that feral grin even as the other man stood. He closed his eyes as he saw something flying toward him, his shoulders pulling in. It hit his lap with a sloshing sound.

"You don't get enough to drink, Arthur."

Arthur's eyes stayed closed as the sound of Big Boss' footsteps on the sand blurred away. When he couldn't hear them, he put his burned forehead into the palms of his hands, his fingers rubbing painfully against his scalp, and looked at the canteen in his lap.

"Who _are_ you...?" he whispered.


	4. A Frog's Dream

_I began revolution with 82 men. If I had to do it again, I'd do it with 10 or 15 and have absolute faith. It does not matter how small you are if you have faith and a plan of action. - Fidel Castro_

The war room was a very quiet place in the early morning at sunrise. Habil and his brother were the only ones who seemed to work at such times, though Big Boss knew they had to have other support staff in place to coordinate the Algeirs bombing mission.

There was, in fact _evidence_ of these other support team members. Some of the maps had detailed supply line information between Russia and the base that Big Boss doubted a command level officer would deal with. Logistics teams could be worth their weight in gold, and whoever had drawn up the map had been good. Some of the maps themselves were hand drawn, which implied cartographers. Around the room, satellite transparencies were placed carefully over underlying maps, numerous details written on them, many with dates and times of patrols.

The three leaders of the base were leaning over one of the maps when Arthur came charging in. He concealed his initial grin as the scientist caught his breath, instead looking up from the map with a questioning look on his face.

"Th-there's a p-problem in the l-labs," Arthur said, speaking directly to Kayin. Big Boss allowed himself the smallest of frowns. This _stuttering_ problem of Arthur's was unacceptable.

"What is it _this_ time?" snapped Kayin, already pushing himself away from the central table and towards the scientist. Arthur backed away as the other man advanced, but not fast enough to stop Kayin from pushing him as he passed. Apparently, the lieutenant wasn't willing to wait for a report from one of his men; he stalked out the door with the obvious intention of visiting the labs before giving Arthur the chance to answer his question.

"Always a problem, isn't there," muttered Habil with a shake of his head.

Big Boss was torn: should he encourage Habil or reassure Arthur? Maybe he could accomplish both... "Arthur, what's the problem?"

"Someone's... someone's..." Arthur face pulled itself together, crumpling up. Big Boss allowed himself a deeper frown, then pushed himself away from the war maps.

"Arthur..." Big Boss smiled in what he hoped was a comforting manner. He didn't have much practice at it. Arthur backed a step away. Big Boss gave a small sigh. "Have some water, Arthur." He pulled the canteen from his side and held it out.

Arthur's face cleared as he looked at the water bottle. "I'm okay. Sorry." Big Boss reattached the canteen to his belt. "Someone sabotaged the equipment last night," he said quietly.

Big Boss noticed that Habil was watching this closely. Good. He'd told the man that leadership by example was important: perhaps Habil, unlike his brother, was willing to learn. Big Boss nodded to Arthur, his eye fixed firmly on the scientist's face while keeping Habil in the corner of his field of view. "How did you find out?"

"I... I do a sweep of the equipment. I know I'm not supposed to, but it's for safety," said Arthur, a pleading tone entering his voice.

"Safety is a good thing," agreed Big Boss carefully. Even safety usually wasn't enough to find sabotage though. He knew that from some of his previous attempts with setting up a research facility on his own. And it especially wasn't enough to find problems when the sabotage had been so carefully set up during the night while the guardsmen were paying attention to nothing but each other. "So is security. What did you find, Arthur, and how did you find it?" The scientist's eyes wandered about the room. "Finding the sabotage was a good thing, Arthur."

Arthur's eyes found Habil and stuck on the man, who was too busy watching Big Boss to notice and move out of Arthur's line of sight. Big Boss stepped between them. "What someone else did isn't your fault." Arthur looked down. Big Boss moved towards him. There was something there... maybe the man was trying to protect the people who looked to him for guidance. He'd seen the leadership before, why not now? "You're not betraying them, you know," he said in a low voice. "You're saving them by making the right decisions."

Arthur gave a small nod at that. "Right," he said quietly. Big Boss put his hand on the scientist's shoulder, and Arthur looked back up at him. "Right," he said in a more decisive tone. Big Boss gave Arthur another small, tight smile. "They stopped up the air vents, that's the most important part. If someone had done one of the experiments on the sulphides or the carbon, we might have had to evacuate the whole..." Arthur paused and Big Boss knew he was thinking about the connecting tunnels he wasn't supposed to know about. "The whole lab. If we didn't catch it fast enough, there could have been casualties."

"The things you're working with down there are that dangerous?"

Arthur shrugged. "I told you, this is a weapons research facility. We're not working on pacifying the enemy, we're working on more effective means of killing them."

"Ah, but who are the enemy, Arthur?" Big Boss said it too quietly for Habil to hear, but Arthur's eyes snapped up to him and he took a step backwards.

Habil walked a bit closer. "Sir, I recommend we visit the labs."

Big Boss turned to face Habil. "You don't think your brother is doing a good job either, do you Major? It's all right, you don't have to answer. Come on. Let's go see these vents."

Big Boss put a hand on Arthur's shoulder to pull him along with them, but Arthur shook it off and led them instead. The man was either leading or terrified, as though there was no middle ground. In control, or completely out of control... A bit unreliable, but Big Boss could break him of that. All he had to do was make Arthur feel like he always had some control over what he was doing.

Arthur's pace was brisk, especially once they got outside and the sun began beating down upon them. "The ointment help?" Big Boss murmured as they entered scientists' lab building.

Arthur gave a curt nod and a softened, grateful look. A guard detached himself from the entrance to accompany them through the hall. "The problems were in the main lab," said Arthur. "I'm sure Lieutenant K-kayin is already there."

As a matter of fact, the Lieutenant wasn't in the empty labs. Habil went to find his brother while Big Boss had Arthur show him the damage despite knowing exactly what it was. Really, the only thing he was surprised about was the extent that Arthur had found. He hadn't only found the damage to the ventilation systems. He'd noticed the substitutions of the chemical compounds, the decalibration of the scales, and, most impressive, the ceiling tiles that had been loosened.

"I couldn't let anyone start working with all these problems," said Arthur, worriedly glancing at the door. "But what I can't understand is why someone would do all this. They're putting us all in danger. What if someone had a reaction and needed to quickly cancel it out? The whole place could have gone up in smoke..."

"Well. Maybe one of your researchers wanted to have a vacation today? I suppose they all know you do this check of the facility."

"They _don't_. I never even told K-kayin. We're not supposed to be in here without the guards." He glanced at the one who had followed them into the room. "If I hadn't, we might all be dead."

Big Boss nodded calmly. "There's no reason safety should be compromised for security. They're both important. If you-"

Kayin stalked into the room, an almost murderous glare being leveled at Arthur. "I'm going to have to talk to everyone. Broke into _my own office_. Since you discovered it, you can be the first man interviewed."

Big Boss didn't like the look, but there was nothing he could say as Arthur looked at him hopefully. He shook his head minutely. With a dejected puff of air, Arthur nodded and looked back at Kayin. "Y-yes, s-sir," he all but whispered. He walked towards the Lieutenant with his feet dragging, glancing over his shoulder at Big Boss before following after the angry steps. The guard followed close behind him.

"I wonder," said Big Boss quietly, "who might have profited from destroying this mission? The security is _your_ responsibility. His is just research, and it isn't going very well." Habil stared out the door. "You shouldn't let _any_ Lieutenant ruin your chances of promotion, Major."

Habil didn't move for a while. Big Boss watched him. This was the trick to a lot of spying: knowing when not to say a word, knowing when to fade into the background, knowing when to believe that someone else would finish your work for you.

When Habil decided to speak, it just was a quick "Excuse me, sir," as he walked out the door. Big Boss followed him out, but where Habil turned towards the building exit, he turned towards Kayin's office.

He opened the door to find a disoriented Arthur Emmerich being held up by his lapels against the wall. The guard's fist was speeding towards the scientist's face. Big Boss reacted. He twisted the man's arm up and around, _felt_ rather than heard the snap as the blood rushed in his ears, saw the angry, abortive motions that Kayin was making as Big Boss pushed the guard back against the desk.

"I was _questioning_ him! Don't you _want_ to find out who sabotaged us?"

"What I want is the _truth_ , you idiotic excuse for an officer!"

"That's why I gave him sodium pentathol! _Sir_."

"Do you watch American movies, _Comrade_? How else could you have such a foolish thought? Truth serums don't work, that's why the KGB and the CIA are both looking for real drugs to force it, you moron. You may have convinced your other superiors to give you promotions to stay with your brother, but I will _guarantee_ you that I am not so easily moved!"

Kayin bared his teeth. Big Boss stared at him, challenging him for an answer. "I am well within my duties." The tone was more than insubordinate.

Big Boss' mouth turned up into a smile that didn't reach his eyes. "And now, you are relieved, Lieutenant. I hope you will think twice from now on when speaking to superiors." Kayin's eyes narrowed, and he glanced at the fallen guard. "Dismissed."

Kayin shook his head, his mouth pulling into a scowl before he stood up, knocking his chair over behind him. "This isn't over. _Sir_." He gave a mocking salute. Big Boss watched him leave with no little distaste.

"You," he said, turning his attention to the guard, who still hadn't picked himself up off the floor. "You aren't responsible. You can get yourself to a doctor." The man still didn't move from his place on the floor. " _Now._ " The guard scrambled to his feet, clutching his arm to his chest, then ran out the door.

Big Boss let out a breath and closed his eye while he tried to calm himself. "Boss?" Big Boss turned and watched as Arthur pushed himself up the wall. "Is everything okay?"

Big Boss turned around. "Yes. Things are fine. Are you all right, Arthur?"

"I'm okay..." He shook his head. "He didn't use much. And I was so keyed up that it's probably just calming me down."

Big Boss' eye ran over Arthur. His hair, which likely hadn't seen scissors since being sent to this base, was covering parts of his face. His eyes were dull and glassy, most likely from the effects of the truth drug. His arms hung loosely at his sides, and he truly was propping himself up against the wall. Oh, what he wouldn't give to know the extent of injuries Arthur had suffered under the command of that sterling example of _military intelligence._ "Can you walk by yourself, Arthur?"

Arthur shrugged and pushed himself away from the wall. Big Boss hurried to catch him before he fell. "Don't push yourself like that, Arthur."

Arthur looked up at him, his eyes blinking slowly. "I knew you'd catch me if I couldn't. I still don't know why." Big Boss looked at the scientist incredulously for a moment before he slung the other man's arm over his shoulder and started moving them out of Kayin's office. "This'll wear off pretty soon. I know more about sodium thiopental than _he_ does."

Big Boss nodded and kept them moving towards Arthur's office. It was time for them to have another chat, and this time he wanted it to be on Arthur's home turf, somewhere he'd feel free to tell the unvarnished truth. His office was probably the closest they were going to get to that kind of place.

Once he had Arthur settled in his chair and had taken his own seat on the desk, he decided that some small talk would work best to get Arthur comfortable. He took one of the pictures from the desk. It was very familiar. "Who's this, Arthur?"

"Alek. Aleksandr Granin, I mean. He was a great man. He had the Order of Lenin, you know. He was..." Arthur took the picture. "He was a great man. I never found him," he said, more to the picture than to Big Boss. "Not even a grave."

"How did you know him?"

"We worked on things together. I know what you're thinking: an American and a Russian working together in weapons research? Well, we did. We had some great ideas." Arthur put the photograph down carefully beside Big Boss.

"What country would have had the benefit of those weapons?"

"Country...? Well, I don't know. It's more about the science."

Big Boss nodded slowly. Arthur, quite obviously, didn't think about the consequences of the science. "Do you know why you're here, Arthur?"

Arthur shrugged. "I was pretty stupid. I didn't get anything from Alek for... a while. We'd made some arrangements. You know, a meet in Geneva sort of thing, in case anything ever went wrong. He didn't come, and I didn't get any word from him. Years went by, and I got a note from him, from one of our mutual contacts. It said he'd been having troubles in Russia; he hadn't been able to get word out of the country because they thought he had too much contact with the West... I guess it was pretty stupid, but I thought I could help him out."

"When did you get this note?"

"Three years ago." Big Boss filed this away for reference. Granin had been dead for longer than _that_. "It took me half a year to plan getting into Russia. I wanted a way back out, after all. I thought I had it all planned. But when I got in, I couldn't find anyone who was willing to talk to me about Alek. And then, one night when I was in my hotel room... well, the end result was winding up here."

Big Boss gave Arthur a hard look. "Arthur, that's how you got here. It's not _why_. You're here because no one knows where you fit."

"What does that mean?" Arthur looked up at Big Boss' eye.

"Your citizenship says you're from America, but they don't trust you, Arthur. Because you have strong ties to Russia. That's dangerous. When you went to Russia, _they_ didn't know what to do with you either. You aren't Russian, you're an American, and a weapons designer at that. So they brought you here. And that's not even considering Berlin and the claims the Germans have made on you."

"You're joking."

"I'm not. You're in a potentially dangerous situation, Arthur. Where do your loyalties lie?"

Arthur looked a little bit lost. "Why should it matter? I'm a scientist, not an ethicist."

"If you were working for me, would you sell everything to the Germans?"

"Of course not! You-" Arthur sat back in his chair and took the photograph off the desk again. "You're a lot alike. He worried all the time about who was going to get the technology, what was going to be done with it... He wanted the credit, but he didn't want just Russia to get it." Arthur put the photo back on the desk, face down. "The thing is, though... I don't see why the people who are paying for the weapons shouldn't be able to use them. It's about science and progress. And the whole world goes to the highest bidder. What's so wrong with that?"

"You're saying you're not loyal to anyone."

"Well, not to a _country_. Why _should_ I be?"

Big Boss nodded slowly. "So what you need is a reason?"

"There's no reason for blind loyalty. You should always use your brain."

Big Boss considered this for a moment. The truth was, Arthur had displayed blind loyalty just a moment ago. Did he not see them as being the same thing? "You knew I would catch you, Arthur. How did you know?"

"You just broke a man's arm for me, faced down Kayin..."

"Those aren't things you got yourself into by being an idiot, Arthur. How did you know I'd catch you when you did that to yourself?"

"I just... You've got this... _thing_ about you. I can't help but believe in you."

Big Boss smiled sadly. "Lots of people say that. Belief is a powerful thing, you know that? Some people inspire it just by existing." It was the same way with good countries. You protected them, and they protected you. They didn't betray you, leave you to become a war criminal for doing your duty... "Would you do something for me if I asked you to do it?"

"Yes," said Arthur, the hesitation audible.

"Why?"

"You're... special." His eyes, completely clear now, dropped. "You don't leave people on their own, you help them... you..."

"I'm loyal in return." Big Boss stood. "Germany, Russia, America... they all want you, Arthur. America thinks you're a traitor, and you are one. Russia thinks you're loyal to America, and it doesn't matter that Mother Russia is wrong. Germany doesn't know what you are, but they want you returned. What do you want, Arthur?"

"I don't..." Arthur looked around his office. "I just want..."

"I can protect you from them, Arthur. But to do it, I need your loyalty." Arthur stared at his sunburned hands, his face awash with confusion. "Think about it, then," said Big Boss. "I won't push you. But I'll protect you and I'll protect the people you're loyal to. You might not see it as loyalty, but I see it in your eyes. You're loyal to the people below you. That's the mark of a good man and a good officer."

"I'm not military," said Arthur sharply.

Big Boss smiled. "You may not know how to kill like I do. Your father might not have been a traditional soldier. But you grew up in it just like I did, and you still know how to kill." Big Boss walked to the door of the office. He threw the last line over his shoulder almost casually. "If you have any more trouble with the Lieutenant, you tell me. Got it?"

Arthur nodded.

Big Boss closed the door.


	5. Nobody's Fool

_Generals speak often of their military duty to their superiors, but never of their duty to their soldiers. - Helmut Lindmann_

"Relieved? Dismissed?" Kayin threw his hat down onto his soft bed. At least there were _some_ benefits to this army. "I will not let him do that to me. Bad enough I have to fight my own men, but he expects me to give them what they don't deserve! Mercy to a traitor? And I suppose he'd have me give work to the laziest men on the base, and wine to the soldiers thrown here for drunk and disorderly conduct."

Kayin looked in his mirror. His face was almost red from his boiling blood. He poured himself a mug of water and downed it, wiping his chin as it dripped out of his mouth. "He knows nothing of power, or fame, or _respect_." He poured himself some more and drank it quickly. "A soldier without any real education. A man who lost his eye! A successful man? Ha."

He tossed the mug against the wall and smiled as it hit with a sickening crack. Water stained the stones black. "And who is it that trusts him more than my own dear brother? He sees no villain unless that man comes with a rifle. A vain killer can smile, with his pistol hidden under his smile, with his safety off and sparks flying, but Habil? He'll only see the glitter of a man's straight teeth."

He pulled off his tie, then the other accoutrements: the belt, the sash, the jacket. Russian uniforms were uncomfortable in the extreme when one wasn't in the motherland.

"And who but Habil would take the side of _that man_ over his own family? Armies kill, battalions die, but they fall together as family!"

He carefully undid the top button. "Does my brother think of me? I gave up my chances at all the things I wanted so that _he_ might rise through the ranks." He undid the next as carefully as the first. "And now he wants to become more, yet leave me behind here? He'd do best to listen so someone who has his interests near and dear to his own heart, like me. I can see straight through the lies..." He paused then undid the third. "I'm a wiser man than he. I can see that man for what he is: a liar and a cheap betrayer who will lead us _both_ to ruin!" He pulled the shirt away, causing the final buttons to fall speedily to the floor, tinkling against the rocks. He started, then threw the shirt away with an angry shake of his head.

"Why must Habil trust this stranger? I could lead us both to safety, away from this man, but no!" His pants he took some care not to damage as he pulled them off and folded them onto the bed.

Showers were a thing limited to command out here where water was so expensive. Kayin knew he was going to relish every drop as he turned the water on and let it run. "Why, Habil? Why trust this man? Who leads your mission, you or him?"

Kayin growled and tested the water. "Dismissed, relieved... I've worked for years, and ideas that changed the face of war were mine alone: gas and explosives, destruction and arms."

Kayin stepped into the stream of water and let it course down him. Too hot for this time of day, he turned the temperature down until it was ice-cold. It was a pleasure he was certain none of the bastards below him had the chance to feel. "Inspiring fools is a task for rank and file, not for a man like me. I have _brains_ , unlike the rest of them. My sycophantic peons can understand only the most lowly of my thoughts." He shook his head violently. "They don't even understand the most basic of concepts that I show them, despite the fact that their pretenses. Why else would they be unable to implement them?"

He pulled his soap from the chain that held it to the shower head.

"I could show them the universe, if they were intelligent enough to understand it. And _him_!" Kayin spat the word out with such force that the water seemed to almost pull back from it. "He think they know what they're doing better than _I_ do. Not only that, but he thinks the men will trust _him_ with their lives."

Kayin leaned his head against the warm stone of the shower stall as the icy rivulets flowed down his back. "Oh, I'll see to it that they can trust him with nothing," he murmured. "Trustworthy men? They're Russia's dregs, damaged long before they came to _this_ base, to _my_ command." He pushed himself up and away from the wall. "What's he think that he can prove? Giving trust to men so untrustworthy, giving choice to men without loyalty... it's waste."

He shut the taps off and grabbed his towel as he stepped out, watching the water flow down the drain. "And controlling science is a task for a man with strength and wisdom, brains and will. It's not something for a hired gun to do. Might as well ask a foot soldier to control an entire army. Science is deadly and powerful."

His hair dripped. He let it continue dripping and went into his room, staring at the uniform he'd left half-falling off of his bed. He took another shirt and began to dress again. "Relieved!" He bit it off as if it were a curse. "Dismissed!"

Kayin frowned and his eyebrows drew together. "In my own office, he gave the order, but I can see his true intentions. He's intending to push my brother into being a traitor, leading him there by _example!"_

_He scowled. If only he hadn't broken the cup, he'd have something to throw now. He poured the water into his hands and drank, throwing the water off once he was finished. "I have a fool for a brother. He gives me scorn and shame by backing this man in return for nothing."_

Water wasn't good enough for this. Kayin walked to the locked cabinet at the end of his bed where he kept his stronger drink and opened it, pulling out a bottle of wine. There was something he could do, of course. This newcomer wasn't the only one in charge. There was Ocelot. He was the one ultimately in charge, had more seniority. Talking to him would be a problem, with the communications down and the radio silence, but it had to be done. "There is no choice for me. I only hope I've the strength to disobey. The man's a traitor," he said quietly to the bottle. He grabbed another glass from within and poured slowly.

Habil was infatuated. It was Kayin's familial duty to save him from himself. "He pursue the regard of _that man_ with all the intensity of a hopeful lover, but I swear, that man will fall and _I_ will be the instrument of his demise," said Kayin, circling the wine and sniffing it. In the heat here, it could easily have turned to vinegar, but it hadn't.

He closed his eyes and sipped the liquid. It burned like the desert sun as it went down, but somehow it steadied him.

"There is but one choice for me. I'll tell our finest colonel. Then we'll see who will be known as dismissed. I will gain _his_ power. _Both_ their power. And I'll throw them down." He drank again, but more deeply, steadily. "I'll show you power can't be bought, Habil."

Kayin placed a cork back into the bottle and gently placed it into the cabinet. Locking the cabinet, he smiled. "I will tell Ocelot."

* * *

_"That idiot... can't even lock his own door!"_

Big Boss was having a hard time holding back his grin as he turned off his transceiver, automatically deactivating the bug in Kayin's room. The lieutenant was definitely free with his words when he was alone. Insubordinate? More like mutinous. It had been almost amusing to listen to him, especially when he could also hear Habil's complaints at the same time through the other ear.

Habil had been muttering about Kayin and nepotism since Big Boss had finished talking to Arthur. Probably since before that, though asking the guards was not an option. He hadn't heard a single good word towards the Major's brother. In fact, he'd perhaps been worse in what he'd said about Kayin.

"Major, perhaps you're being too hard on him. It isn't really his fault he was promoted beyond his skill," said Big Boss as he examined his gun for sand in the mechanism. The SAA was a good gun, but it was as prone as any other to jamming from lack of care. "His superior officers should have paid more attention."

Habil stopped speaking for a moment, his eyes widening as he looked down quickly. "Yes, sir," he said softly. He wiped his hands on his dark brown trousers.

Big Boss threw him a smile. "Don't feel bad, Habil. I'm sure you were just acting out of... loyalty." The kind of loyalty that made men blind and deaf. In some ways, Arthur was right. Loyalty really was overrated in some cases.

"And what am I supposed to do about it now?" Habil pulled his hat off and wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. "If he stops me from going up in the ranks... I don't understand how he can be so incompetent."

"No one has ever challenged him on his practices before, have they?" Big Boss took the bullets out of the gun, then pointed it at the ceiling and pulled the trigger, just to be certain. Safety really was important around weapons. Safety and security.

"No, I suppose not." Habil stalked over to Big Boss, his feet making crunchy noises as they landed. Sand and stones, that was all there was out here. "Tell me something. Am I up for promotion, sir?"

Big Boss shrugged and looked down the long metal barrel. "Not for me to say at this point, Habil." It seemed good enough... field stripping the thing would take only seconds, but even in this relatively safe place, Big Boss hesitated to completely disarm himself for even a moment. There was always a possibility of something happening... "Not for me to say."

It was the sand, really. It got everywhere. Especially when one rolled about in it. It was the reason why the Major's boots were crunching, it had been in Big Boss's shirt this morning, and he'd seen it in his holster just a few minutes ago. It might be just a few whitish grains, but proper gun care was _always_ important.

"We're a little bit behind now, sir. Kayin thought we could reach the objective by adding a few hours to the day, but with the sabotage, I'm not sure how we're going to make the deadline. There's only a few more days."

Big Boss raised an eyebrow. "Well, missing a strict deadline isn't going to get you noticed in a good way." He put the bullets back in the gun. "It can be offset, of course." It wasn't his favorite kind of handgun: Russian models were never as well made as their American counterparts. Even the simplicity of a single action just wasn't the same with a Russian. They did have some excellent work on submachine guns, though.

"I can't turn on my brother like that," said Habil quietly. He put his hat back on.

Big Boss shrugged. "It's not turning away from him. It's keeping your eyes on your country." He put the gun back in the holster, then lifted his head to make eye contact with the other man. "Look, it shouldn't be your problem that he makes terrible mistakes. I know he's family, but your first duty isn't to him."

Habil turned around and shook his head. He simply stood there, thinking. Big Boss frowned as the silence lengthened. It kept growing between them. Big Boss bit his tongue as the temptation to say something more grew larger.

After five minutes of silent waiting, Big Boss took off his medal and walked to Habil's side. "You see this, soldier?" The major nodded. "I didn't let anyone, fried or foe, stay me from my duty."

Habil looked at the golden medal for a moment more, then nodded. "I understand, sir."

Big Boss put it back, the pin pushing through the fabric of his uniform with a little effort. "You're a good officer, Habil," he murmured. And he meant it- he might be too easily manipulated, but he considered his underlings, he considered his country, he considered his superiors, and he tried to do the best thing for all of them. "Now then. Let's talk about the timeline."

Habil nodded. "Yessir. The operation takes place in three days."

"Let's be more precise, major," said Big Boss as he looked pointedly at one of the overhead clocks that lined the operations room.

"Two days and..." he paused and looked at a different clock, one that was labeled as 'Algeirs.' "13 hours."

Habil turned and pulled a map from the metal cabinet behind them, spreading it out over the table. "The men land _here_ in a Hind-D." He jabbed his finger down on the map at a place marked with a cyrillic rho. "They'll head to the entrance of the underground sewers. They should make it there in approximately three hours. From there, they have the time to get in, and around three minutes to get out and to the safe houses here and here."

"And what about the training schedule?"

"The men haven't been able to get your speed yet, sir, but you really inspired them, and-" The sound of heavy footsteps caused a break in Habil's speech as Kayin entered the room.

"Do continue, brother."

Habil looked at Kayin for a long moment, his eyes lingering over his brother's wet hair and impeccable dress. Big Boss kept the frown from his face. With the water rationing as strict as it was for the men, the waste was unconscionable. When their eyes met, Kayin nodded and Habil lifted an eyebrow before continuing. "The men have been improving daily. I don't know that they'll be able to improve enough for the target speed, but we might have a way around that. You really inspired them; they've been trying twice as hard to make those times, but I think you're just in better shape than they are, sir.

"As for the science, this morning's sabotage will put us behind for this mission, but the minimum explosives required are already stockpiled upstairs in the armory. It will make things more difficult during the operation, but it shouldn't set us back."

"How about the equipment? We're not sending them in with only explosive material," said Big Boss. His eye drifted to Kayin, who had a sour expression on his face. Kayin had to be confined to quarters or he'd break radio silence, and the best way to do it was going to be by getting the man to blow up at his superior officers. "Science is well and good, but you can't trust everything to it."

Kayin's face took on the look of a greatly insulted man, but it was still Habil who spoke. "Sir, they'll be equipped with light firearms and radios. We can't have too much equipment since they'll be in the city for a few days after the mission. It would be too easy for the enemy to find huge stores of weapons. A group of men with only light weaponry and equipment might be mistaken for travellers."

Big Boss nodded. "So. With all the money that is spent on research and," Big Boss gave Kayin's dripping hair a dark look, "researchers, the equipment upstairs, with the exception of the explosives, is going to be useless?"

"Of course it's going to be used! All the work we've done is-"

"Kayin!" Habil silenced his brother with a hard look. "It will be used, sir, but not in this mission."

Big Boss nodded again. Habil was good at keeping his brother in line. There would have to be more pressure put to them both. "Good." Habil was still looking at his brother out of the corner of his eye. It seemed obvious enough that the Major wanted to talk to his Lieutenant brother without the watchful eyes of his commander. "I have some things to take care of. I'll see you later. Major." He gave Habil a salute, which the other man quickly reciprocated. Kayin gave a sketchy one back before turning to his brother, fury in his eyes.

Big Boss walked calmly out of the room, careful not to speed or slow his steps. As soon as he was out, he pulled himself into a shadow.

Eavesdropping was definitely one of the more interesting parts of this job. He could see Habil's face through the door as the man paced. His brother must have leaned against a wall next to the door. Big Boss couldn't see him.

The two were silent with each other for a long while before, finally, and with no preamble, Kayin said what was perhaps the last things Big Boss wanted to hear. "I want to talk to Colonel Ocelot."

Shit.

This was going to make for complications. Big Boss hated complications on a mission. It tended to mean more people died.

"What part of _radio silence_ don't you understand, Kayin?"

"More than _you_ do, apparently. Don't you think it's strange that this man comes in without any advance warning and orders radio silence?" Big Boss frowned.

"It would be hard for the colonel to give word to us early when the communications went down. And what caused that? I'll bet the same thing as all the other communications problems we've had at this base: _you_ and your complete _inability_ to control the researchers. How many times have they tried some new and innovative technique at disturbing the communications of the enemy?"

Big Boss grinned. Disturbing the communications of the enemy was a _good_ thing, really. But if you didn't give your techies something to play with, they played with what they had. This of course was your own systems. If you had a researcher, you had to give him something to work on. The fact that the brothers didn't seem to have learned this lesson was, at the very least, amusing.

"They only did that _once_ , you _know_ I've cracked down on anything that could lead to-"

"One time is too often!" Habil roared. Big Boss agreed. For someone with a university degree, Kayin wasn't very smart. "You weren't paying attention to _them_ then, and you're not paying attention to our _orders_ now. That man is a decorated war hero. Maybe if you weren't so busy playing the mad scientist you would understand what that means."

"It means you won't question him, or his orders, or even his loyalties," spat Kayin. "How do we know he's who he says he is?"

"He ran through our training setups like a pro." Habil shook his head. "He is a professional. I don't _need_ to question his loyalties. He inspires the men to work harder. Something that _you_ haven't been able to do with either soldiers _or_ scientists, I notice. Are you jealous of him?"

"Of a _soldier_? Soldiers are nothing but pawns." Habil raised an eyebrow and Kayin walked to him, placing a hand on his brother's shoulder. "No offense to you, Habil." Kayin shook his head and his voice took on a more pleading tone. "Habil, we're brothers. We should be honest with one another. Family is so important: you only get one family. It has to be important to you."

Habil breathed out sharply. "That's really similar to what he said, you know. Except that your loyalties are the wrong way around. It's our country that's the most important thing."

"Our country? Or what you think is a promotion?" Big Boss leaned forward slightly to catch the glare. This was a sore point. "Don't think I'm stupid, Habil. I went to the finest university in Russia, I graduated-"

"You're very smart, Kayin. No one's saying you're not smart. But I don't think you know how to lead and at this point I don't think you're even cut out to be more than rank and file."

"This isn't about loyalty to your country, it's about placing blame and getting a promotion. You sicken me, Habil."

"You think I care more about a promotion? Kayin, you listen. You've been bordering on insubordination. You're ignoring him- a superior officer- and I'm the one who's going to be called to task on all this."

"Called to task? You've been ponying up to him since he got here. He's not taking _you_ to task. If someone's going down, we both know he's going to go after me. He's an illiterate soldier, and he doesn't deserve your respect."

Illiterate? Big Boss pressed himself further into the shadow and raised an eyebrow. The man couldn't expect promotions when he talked about superior officers like that. Not that Big Boss was thinking about giving either of them a job.

"You want to talk about respect? You give no respect to your superiors; your inferiors give no respect to you. Look at that Emmerich." Ah, here was something worth listening to. Big Boss smiled. "He's tried to leave four times. Have you made him a villain amongst his peers? No, he's a _hero_ ," said Habil. "Who has more respect, _you_ or an incompetent escape artist? And if it weren't bad enough that they look to him as their hero, they turn to _him_ for scientific leadership too. You think _me_ a fool, Kayin? My soldiers don't turn to anyone except _me_ when they have problems."

"You? Or _him_ ," Kayin laughed. "You're deluding yourself."

These were major problems. These were weak points that had been growing for as long as these two had been at this base.

"And you're walking dangerously close to mutiny," Habil said quietly. "Do you want a court martial? That's where you're headed right now." They stared at each other for a moment, the anger flowing off them like waves. "Get your priorities in order, brother. Or I'll be forced to bring it down on you."

Big Boss pressed his back into the wall as Habil stalked out of the room, his eyes fiery, too focussed on controlling his anger to see anything on his way. "We'll _see_ who gets it." Kayin's voice floated out of the room, apparently too faintly for Habil to hear. Kayin left the room soon after, a sour expression on his face.

Big Boss took a breath in and let it out slowly, then stepped out of the shadows with a smile.


	6. Silver Wings

_If a man hasn't discovered something that he will die for, he isn't fit to live. - Martin Luther King Jr._

"Would you stop eating those?"

With the labs closed, most of the scientists and engineers had very little to do. A few wandered through the courtyard avoiding the guards' eyes, but the majority seemed to have chosen the mess hall as a place to congregate. Lunch on the base was usually taken in twos and threes by the non-military workers, but today it seemed that everyone had, without any particularly conscious thought, decided that safety in numbers was a good policy.

It was here that Arthur Emmerich sat contemplating his future, and the future of the men around him. Geoff sat at his elbow casually setting up a map of the base using condiments while several of the others were standing watch. Every now and then, he'd put a set of peanuts in different positions, ostensibly representing the guards.

Arthur was having fun eating the soldiers.

"Look, I told you I can't commit to this. Do you know how far we'd have to walk to get to the nearest town? And once we were there, what would we do? Hire a bus?"

The frustrated look on Geoff's face didn't bother Arthur as much as it should have. "We could get out together. Once we get out and to that town, we can all go our separate ways if that's what you want."

"Geoff..." They'd been having this conversation for the past twenty minutes. Nothing Arthur had said so far had convinced Geoff that this was a fool's errand. "You still have to distract the guards. Are you willing to kill them? It was hard enough just trying for one person. I really only did it by chance. And almost thirty people?"

"But you _did_ it! You know what that means to all of us?"

"I know." Arthur massaged his temples. Geoff's excitement was definitely _not_ catching. "I just think... look, that new Colonel, he's a good guy. I promised him I wouldn't leave."

"Fine, he's a nice guy. _We_ didn't promise anything." Geoff's hand banged down on the table. The soldiers around them looked up and the other scientist immediately lowered his voice. "Besides, since when do _you_ worry about promises?"

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?" asked Arthur testily.

"Nothing, Arthur." He waved his hand to dismiss the issue. "That sabotage is making some of the hotheads angry. We need to-"

"No! I want to know what you mean by that!"

"How long do you think it'll be before they start shooting us for it? Your promise isn't an option. We can't stay here, Arthur."

"I asked what you meant," said Arthur through clenched teeth.

Geoff looked at him for a moment in annoyance, finally shrugging. "Remember you asked." He held a finger up. "We all signed the same papers when we got here. Those were promises that we wouldn't leave the compound without express permission from command." He held up a second finger. "Then there's the promises you made to the Lieutenant about deadlines- not that I fault you for breaking those, of course-" he held up a third, "and the ones you made to _us_ ," and a fourth.

"What promises did I make to _you_?"

He shook his head and put his hand down flat on the table. "Not _me_. _Us_. Like... Gregory Karenin. You said you'd help him get published."

Gregory Karenin? He'd been working on some sort of advanced polymers and applications to the design of next generation warheads. Of course, Arthur hadn't been able to get _himself_ published since coming here, so getting someone else into a scientific journal was out of the question. "That's not my fault. I haven't been able to get anything off of the base. I'll help him as soon as I can."

Geoff gave him a look that Arthur couldn't quite unravel. "And how about Nikolai Pavlov? You said you'd help him with his work in thermal endocrine disruptors."

Now _that_ was just unfair. "That was a dead end, and besides, you helped him before I could get around to doing anything."

"After a month where he could barely talk to you. There's always a reason, isn't there." Geoff shook his head as Arthur started to protest. "Look, Arthur, we all think you're a great mind. After you managed to get out of this place, we don't even think you're crazy for all those escape attempts. It's amazing. But you've got a tendency to be a bit... well... unreliable."

"Unreliable." Arthur looked at Geoff and then at the edible map he'd made. He shook his own head in disbelief. "You want an _unreliable_ man to try to get you out of here? You want an _unreliable_ man to rescue you?"

"Well... but you're the only one who _can_ , Arthur."

The only one who can. What the hell was that supposed to mean? Arthur pushed himself away from the table a bit mechanically. "I'll think about it."

He ignored Geoff's protests as he walked away, his back straight and his pace quick. He walked out of the mess hall and then out of the hall and finally out of the building. For good measure, he walked to the other side of the building so that Geoff wouldn't follow him, and sat down with his back to the wall. The sun was painful where it touched his skin; the sand more so.

He wished there was a rock around, and maybe a lake. He'd have given just about anything to skip a stone. Instead, he looked up at the burning blue sky and sighed.

When had he become untrustworthy? He'd never meant to be... unreliable. It was just Big Boss' words coming back at him, that was the only issue, really. If Big Boss hadn't talked about loyalty that morning, he'd never have worried about others seeing him as... as what? Unreliable? A polite euphemism for a man who broke every promise he made. And the thing was, these weren't the _meaningless_ words people said in old fashioned oaths to their countries. These were things he'd told people, colleagues and friends...

"Arthur?"

Arthur turned sharply to see Big Boss leaning over him. "What are you doing back here?" he asked.

"You're the one with the sunburn." Big Boss put a hand on Arthur's shoulder. "You shouldn't be out here, Arthur."

The younger man shrugged and closed his eyes against the sky. "Not like I promised you I wouldn't." Unreliable... Not that it made any sense anyhow, but what kind of person wanted an unreliable man as an officer? "Why do you want my loyalty?" Big Boss sighed and pulled off his jacket. His muscles gleamed in the sunlight. He tossed his coat onto Arthur. "What do you do, oil yourself before you go outside?" asked Arthur uncomfortably.

Big Boss looked at him in surprise, then flashed a half-smile. "Sunblock," he said simply. He reached down and pulled a tube off his belt. "If you're going to insist on talking outside, prevention is better than using the ointment later."

Big Boss put a bit of it onto his own hands and sat down beside Arthur. Arthur flinched back as Big Boss' fingers moved towards his face, but he forced himself still at the other man's raised eyebrow. His hands were far gentler than Arthur would have imagined as he traced around the bruises.

Arthur closed his eyes. This was nice. He wouldn't have thought he'd like the touch of someone's hands after the past few months, but... it was just like he'd said before. Big Boss was different. "Why do you want me?" The words slipped out before he'd had the chance to consider them.

"I told you before." Big Boss' hands continued to move on Arthur's face as he spoke. "You're officer material."

"I'm not, though. I'm unreliable."

Big Boss' hands paused and then moved down Arthur's right arm, pressing firmly until he began to put the sunblock on his arm. "Why do you say that?" he asked, his hands pausing over the finger Arthur had broken before his arrival at the camp.

"That's how they all see me. I can't keep my promises."

"Like what promises?"

"Little ones. Big ones. I don't know, just ones I never really meant to make."

"A man has to be careful with his word. He seldom gets a chance to start over." His hands moved to the other arm, this time pausing at Arthur's wrist, which he'd twisted several weeks ago. Or rather, which had been twisted for him.

"And you'll give me that chance?" Arthur shook his head. "I don't know if..." The hands patted his ribs and Arthur looked up in alarm, pushing them away.

"I'm just checking you for injuries." Big Boss' eye stared at him. "I'm not going to hurt you."

"I'm not unconscious. You can just ask, like any normal person."

"You took that hit really well, Arthur. I think you've lost track." Arthur pulled his hands away reluctantly and let the other man continue his physical inspection. "They've hurt you a lot."

Arthur shrugged. "My own fault," he said uncomfortably.

Big Boss shook his head. "You were saying? About your dishonesty?"

It was obvious the other man was trying to distract him, but Arthur was in the mood to be distracted. "I'm not dishonest. I'm unreliable."

"Your work has shown otherwise." Big Boss gave him another half-smile. "The work you did on SA-14, the Gremlin, was interesting. Pretty useful, too. A lot of scientists can't make anything that the common soldier can use."

"Well... no one ever said I was stupid."

"Anti-aircraft weapons are important. You were a pioneer in all-aspect missile development." Arthur smiled uncertainly. "And then there's the R-73. It might not be in production yet, but all the preliminary data shows it's important."

"I didn't think anyone was looking at that yet. I only just started."

"Hm." Big Boss finished with his scan. "A lot of your work is well regarded."

The compliments were nice. He'd been starved of compliments for such a long time. They were really important to him. He wasn't ungrateful. "But why do you want _my_ loyalty? There have to be a hundred others who aren't..." Oh, this was painful to say. "Who _are_ trustworthy. My promises aren't worth anything."

"They haven't been worth anything here. That doesn't mean they're worthless." Arthur shook his head, but Big Boss continued. "Your superiors are abusive. That doesn't mean they always will be. _I_ am not the kind of man that lets that happen. Your word can be worth something, Arthur. But I don't have long to let you make your choice."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm only here for this one mission."

"Algeirs," said Arthur quietly. Big Boss nodded. "I don't like it. Fighting like that seems so wrong. Assassinations of politicians, killing hundreds of people who have nothing to do with anything..."

"I thought you didn't have a problem with the nuke."

"That _stopped_ a war. You people are blowing up a _peace treaty_." Arthur looked away and pulled the jacket up over himself, blocking the sun.

"So the cause matters?" Big Boss tilted his head and smiled almost like he was laughing. "I thought you said your science should be available to the highest bidder! I thought you didn't believe in loyalty."

Arthur gave an exasperated sigh. "Maybe I don't know what you mean by loyalty. Do you mean... unquestioningly doing what you say? I can't do that. I don't want to do that!"

"Arthur, you would be wasted as just another soldier." He shook his head and laughed quietly. "No, Arthur, what I want is a lieutenant, in the old sense of the word. Used to be that lieutenants could step in for superior officers when necessary. I want someone who knows how to question. I want someone who can step in for others when he has to. I want someone who could set up a rescue effort if something went wrong." Another half-grin and a shake of his head as the smile faded. "I don't need people who say yes to me because they're afraid the imminent death is more painful than the one coming tomorrow."

"But I still don't understand. Why _me_? There's got to be men in the Russian ranks that fit that description!"

The smile reappeared on the other man's face. "If I told you that, I'd have to kill you." Arthur stared at him, trying to figure out if he was joking. "Accept that it's you I want."

Arthur wiped the sweat from his brow. "Okay. Say I give you my loyalty. What _does_ that mean? What do you expect from someone who's loyal to you?"

Big Boss nodded. "We'd be working for common goals. I might set the goals, but you'd have input into them. I'd expect you to question me when it's appropriate, but in the end, when I make a decision, I'd expect you to carry it out. Loyalty means that you don't give your work to someone else. It means that if someone or something is bothering you, you come to _me_ instead of working it out yourself. It's an oath that we give to each other."

Arthur nodded slowly. "I'm not sure I really understand."

Big Boss looked at him in thought. "Did you ever have a blood brother as a kid? Someone you could share... your secret clubhouse with? The two of you played together against the other teams, shared the good times and the bad, made up games and laughed and... all those things kids do."

"Maybe." Arthur leaned against the wall as the image of a blond haired boy flashed behind his eyes. "You want to build a fort and shout 'No girls allowed?' I was never any good at the whole 'stand back to back to ward off the bullies' part of it."

"Ward off the bullies...?" Big Boss raised an eyebrow. "I'll protect you, Arthur. I get you out of here, and I won't allow any country to harm you. I can't be with you all the time, so a part of it means that you will learn how to protect yourself, but you'll have my help all the way."

"My best friend back then tried to teach me a trick or two. Never really worked out."

"I'm probably a better teacher than a kid," he said.

"He wasn't a kid, he was almost a whole year older than me," Arthur said with a smile on his face. "But you know, he moved. Never an explanation or a letter afterwards... and then I was left alone. And the bullies are harder on you when you were once untouchable."

"I won't leave you alone, Arthur. I can promise you that."

Arthur paused. What was he doing? He wasn't seriously thinking of agreeing! Big Boss was a soldier, and Arthur most definitely was _not_. Big Boss was probably the most interesting person he'd met in a long while, but that wasn't a reason to pledge an oath of undying loyalty to someone!

Of course, he could just break the promise. Apparently, he was quite _good_ at that.

The truth was, he should say no. He was an American, whether he believed in what the country stood for or not, whether he felt loyal to the country or not, he wasn't a Russian. Maybe it was part of what loyalty was, making uninformed decisions because something in you said that you _belonged_ to something bigger than you.

He was going to say 'no.' "I..." Because 'no' was the right answer. "...just..." Even if the man in front of him was special, he couldn't be loyal to Russia. "...still need to think about it."

He looked away.

Big Boss must have had some sense of the inner conflict Arthur was experiencing because his next words were soft but unmistakably American-accented English. "It is the end that crowns us, not the fight."

"What?" Arthur asked in English.

"Speak in Russian," corrected Big Boss. He sighed. "Please think about it, Arthur. And go inside before you get hurt."

Arthur closed his eyes and shook his head briefly. When he opened them, Big Boss was no longer in sight.

Arthur didn't know where he'd gone, but a part of him knew it had to be inside. The sun was so hot, beating down on him as hard as any soldier ever had. But inside was problematic: the _unreliable_ comment still burned. Arthur didn't want to go to the soldiers' barracks and the mess hall to see Geoff. The main building was off-limits for a decision on whether to be loyal to Big Boss, and he didn't much feel like finding his own bed. The truth was, he _belonged_ in the labs. He'd always made his decisions there, or in some similar place. Labs were the same the world over.

Fume hoods that stole bad air away stood in one corner. Eyewash station and shower in case of an accidental exposure. Acids and bases for neutralization, eyeware and gloves and filters...

They were safe compared to the rest of the world.

He'd just sat down at one of the empty lab benches when he heard the banging in the ventilation system. "Is someone there?" he asked quietly. A large part of him didn't really want an answer, after all. The sounds from the overhead ducts stopped.

"Great. Some animal probably got in there," he said loudly. Arthur looked around quickly and picked up a broom. "I bet it's a cat. Lots of wildcats out here." He picked up a stool and placed it carefully near a vent. "Damned cats get everywhere."

He climbed up on the stool quietly near a vent, keeping his head below it. He reached out with the broom and hit the duct hard, then quickly peered through the slits.

Nothing but black.

Arthur rolled his eyes as he got down off of the stool. "Well, _I_ am a _fool_ ," he said with a sideways smile. "No one would be crazy enough to sabotage the place and come back."

There was another noise from the duct. Arthur looked at it curiously for a moment, then sighed. Probably more damage than he'd noticed before.

He threw Big Boss' jacket over the bench and sat down again, but no sooner had he done _that_ then there was another noise, this time from down the hall. "There _is_ someone here," he whispered.

He was off the chair in a flash and pressed himself against the wall. He edged towards the door and out into the hallway, trying to go from shadow to shadow. How well he was doing, he couldn't have said. There wasn't anyone in the hallway to see him. The white noise continued as he moved towards Kayin's office.

He stopped outside it and peeked in to see the Lieutenant with a radio, turned towards the door. Arthur bit his lip and pushed himself back against the wall where he prayed that Kayin couldn't see him.

"Hello? Hello! Stupid radio frequencies..."

Arthur's curiosity rapidly overcame his fear when nothing happened. He crouched down almost to the floor and peeked into the room again. Kayin was alone, but his face looked as angry as it had when Arthur had last seen him that morning.

"Ocelot here." Arthur's eyebrows raised. Kayin had never, in all his memories, called a superior officer without his brother.

"Sir! This is Lieutenant Shet."

There was a brief silence at the other end of the radio connection. "Why aren't you using standard channels?"

"They're down, sir."

"Down?" Ocelot didn't sound particularly surprised. "And I suppose you single handedly got them back up?" Arthur grinned. The scientists weren't the only ones who doubted Kayin's scientific abilities...

"I made a radio, sir. So that I could contact you. This man you sent-"

"Which man?"

"The colonel..." Arthur bit his lip when the other man didn't respond immediately to Kayin. "Isn't he- he showed us his orders, but-"

"No, no, of course. I just didn't expect-" He sounded faraway for a moment before he spoke again. "It doesn't matter. What's the problem, then?"

"The labs were sabotaged, sir."

There was a long pause during which Kayin stared hard at the radio. "And? What were the damages, the delays to the project?" asked Ocelot, the impatience dripping off his voice. Arthur smiled slightly.

"We haven't been able to continue with any research since this morning, sir. Any problems in the lab are going to spread through the entire base. We haven't been able to develop or produce lighter explosives-"

"Lieutenant, I didn't _really_ expect you to manage that. I'm not an idiot, weapons research takes time, even with quality scientists." Arthur's mouth dropped open. Since when did superiors actually have a clue about the time needed to research? He closed it quickly as Ocelot continued speaking. "Now, Habil, I want to know how the soldiers are doing."

Kayin shook his head and bit his lip. "Habil's not here, sir. I had to call by myself. I needed to tell you about the colonel. I think he's a traitor, sir. He's got Habil hoodwinked, but I can see it." Kayin leaned closer to the radio as though trying to prove the truth of his words to Ocelot. "He won't even let me question the scientists to find the traitor."

"What do need to question for? Don't you know who it is?"

This caused Kayin to sit back in his chair. "Sir?"

"You're their immediate commanding officer. If it was one of them, surely you know them well enough to know which one did it."

"I have suspicions about who it is, or rather, who _they_ were, but I can't just act on that, sir!"

"Are you a leader or not? You _act_ on it if that's what the situation requires."

Arthur froze. Kayin looked at his firearm. Ocelot had given Kayin permission to... to kill... everyone... Geoff had been right. There was suddenly so much to do, and there was absolutely no time to do any of it properly.

"I understand, sir." So much to do. Arthur pulled himself away from the door so quickly that he stumbled, his foot making a terrible rapping noise on the floor as he caught his balance. "I have to go," said Kayin abruptly.

Arthur could hear the radio being switched off and the other man moving quickly to the hallway. He ducked into the adjacent office and quickly hid himself under the desk. The footsteps got closer and closer, and Arthur's held his breath as they paused. He didn't let out the breath even after the footsteps had continued on their way, holding it in for almost a full minute afterwards. When he started breathing again, his breaths were shallow and quick.

He carefully got out and crept to the door, his heart pounding in his throat. He peeked out the door and was relieved to find Kayin was not in the hallway, nor in the next office down. He continued his quiet walk, peeking into the doors, until he reached the lab. He could hear the pacing.

He pressed himself against the wall again and put his hands on his forehead. He could hear the murmuring inside. "... _his_ jacket... but he wouldn't hide, would he..."

Kayin's voice was preternaturally loud to Arthur's ears. Arthur shouldn't have been able to hear the soft murmur. He most definitely shouldn't have heard the sound of glass breaking. "What the hell- There!"

The pacing stopped and the footsteps rushed farther into the lab. Arthur didn't have time to peek around the door. He ran.

He ran through the hall and out of the building. He ran through the desert courtyard, the sun blazing down on him. He ran into the soldier's barracks, stopping to catch his breath outside the door of the mess hall. He walked relatively calmly into the mess hall and sat down next to Geoff.

"I never left," he hissed to Geoff. A second later, sirens on the base started blaring. Geoff's shoulders pulled back against his chair and the tension was obvious in his bitten lip, but he nodded shortly.

Arthur looked between the guards and the scientists, his face setting into a determined scowl. "The escape is tonight," he said quietly. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He couldn't afford to be unreliable anymore. "Tonight."


	7. No Color in the King

"Your jacket, sir," said Kayin from behind him. Big Boss turned and reached for it, but Kayin pulled back. "I wonder, sir, why it was in the lab."

Big Boss smiled very slightly, his eyes narrowing as he shrugged. "I must have left it there this morning when I stopped you from beating your scientists." Big Boss stepped forward and grabbed Kayin's wrist, squeezing tightly enough to make the other man drop the jacket. He caught it with his other hand before it fell and let go of Kayin. "I wonder what you were doing there, with all your people sitting in the mess hall. You can't have been supervising a clean up of the sabotage. And I-" Know. "-doubt that you're-" Stupid enough. "-the kind of man-" To go alone. "-to do work in an unsafe environment."

Kayin stared at him, his lips squeezing together unattractively. "I wonder if someone wasn't encouraged to sabotage my labs."

"I wonder that myself," said Big Boss, his single eye staring a hole into Kayin's head. "No one knew Emmerich would be checking. Someone could have gotten all those scientists killed."

Kayin shook his head. " _Injured_ , maybe. But their plan fell through when Emmerich got scared of what he did. I'd be willing to be that not a one of them would have gotten killed."

Big Boss smiled again, partially in relief. He didn't want to risk any of the scientists. "But if they were, I know who wouldn't be mourning."

"The detritus of Russia isn't worth my grief."

"They're still your men, Kayin, whatever you may think of them. I think you forget that too easily. Your men, and more importantly, your responsibility."

Kayin nodded, his eyes fixed on Big Boss' face. "I won't forget my responsibilities, sir." He smiled. "Or my loyalties."

Big Boss gave the smaller man a humorless grin. "Good. Then we both know where we stand."

"Sir." Kayin gave a very formal salute and Big Boss answered it.

Kayin turned to walk away, his hand on his firearm. "Oh, Lieutenant?" Kayin looked over his shoulder. "Get that siren turned off." Big Boss walked past Kayin towards the mess hall. "Whoever you saw is probably halfway to Riyadh by now."

He could hear Kayin gritting his teeth behind him and he stopped when he heard the other man's hand find the gun. He stood quite still for a moment. His breaths were normal even as he tried to decide whether or not the other man was willing to go through with it. He was spared having to toss the man to the ground when Kayin's boot squeaked as he turned abruptly. The footsteps disappeared quickly out of the building.

Big Boss nodded to himself. It was as he'd expected: Kayin didn't have the intestinal fortitude to draw his gun on a man of Big Boss' caliber, not to his face and not even to his back.

The men inside the mess hall were another story entirely. The blaring siren was probably giving them both the fear and the courage to draw their guns on anyone who was at all suspicious. Big Boss shrugged his jacket on and took a look at the room.

It was a fairly large room, with a number of circular tables. The kitchens were attached at the far end, but there were currently metal screens down over the counters. There was also not a drop of water on any of the tables.

The soldiers were on alert in the mess hall. Arthur was sitting tensely in a group of five others at one of the tables, all of them as poor at acting as he was. They would have been very good if they were trying to _get_ attention.

"You," said Big Boss, standing beside one of the nondescript Russian soldiers milling about with his hand on his gun. This particular one was gazing at the tensest men in the room. "Have you seen anything suspicious?"

"Sir!" All the scientists looked up except for Arthur, whose shoulders pulled even further back as he looked down. The soldier noticed it and continued in a quieter voice. "Some of the scientists have been going quiet whenever we go near them. We think they might be hiding the intruder."

Big Boss nodded. The scientists were all looking at Arthur again. "Any of you talked to them about it?"

"No, sir," said the soldier. "We've been hoping they'll let something slip. If-" Big Boss put a hand up as the siren turned itself off. He put it down after a moment, and the soldier continued more quietly, "if they say anything, we'll be ready, sir."

"I'll talk to them. I want all of you to back off and don't focus on any of them. Got it?"

"Yes sir."

"Good. Go tell the rest of them." The soldier saluted. Big Boss took out the gun and twirled it around his finger for a moment while he waited for the soldier to reach a group of soldiers. They talked together briefly and the soldier moved on to another group.

When nearly half of the soldiers were carefully directing their attention elsewhere, he walked to Arthur and his compatriots. He put his hands on the table between Arthur and one of the other scientists. The men stared at him, the fear in their eyes speaking volumes. "You gentlemen look tense." Arthur's eyes went to the jacket and he swallowed hard. "Are you all afraid of alarm sirens?"

The eyes went to Arthur, who spoke hesitantly. "They don't tend to bode well for us." Arthur's eyes went around the room, pausing on several of the soldiers before returning to Big Boss himself. His eyes focused again on the jacket and the insignia of rank displayed prominently on it before he spoke. "None of us have done anything wrong," he said, looking at each of the other scientists in turn.

Big Boss nodded. "I believe you. The problem is, Arthur, that the soldiers don't." Arthur looked at him uncomprehending. Big Boss could almost hear his thoughts: the only one who _knew_ exactly where he'd been for the past hour and a half, and with the jacket on it was quite clear that there were no secrets, was the only one who believed he hadn't done anything wrong. "The soldiers here think you all know something about that siren. Do any of you know?"

The group looked nervously at Arthur again. "No," said Arthur for the group. "We were all sitting right here, except for two of us, and the guards were the ones who brought them in." Arthur grabbed a peanut from the table and nervously held it out. "Would you like one?"

Peanuts? Why in the world would he want a peanut? With so little water, why did they have salted foods on this base in the first place? Big Boss raised an eyebrow and looked down at the table. When he realized what he was looking at, he had to stifle his laughter. He couldn't contain his grin as he took one of the breadstick walls from the main building.

The scientists were all staring at him in horror, especially the two on either side of him. "Arts and crafts are a fun past time, but you could use your time better by focusing on your jobs."

"Our jobs?" The man on his other side spoke up. "The lab is closed. We can't do our work. This is just..."

"This is a weapons design facility," said Arthur quietly.

Big Boss nodded. "So it is." Big Boss took another breadstick from the main building. "I'll clear up this misunderstanding with the guards. In the meantime, all of you should stay alert." He straightened and patted Arthur on the shoulder. "No telling who might be willing to ignore orders."

"Where's Kayin," asked Arthur casually as Big Boss turned to leave.

Big Boss turned back. "The alarms are turned off in the main building. He should still be there. But you should probably clean up." He grinned. "No telling what some people might think of your artistic vision."

He walked away and caught the attention of the same guard as before, calling the man over to him. He could hear one of the scientists over his shoulder. "What kind of idiot is that CO?"

He kept himself from tensing as he waited for Arthur's response. "He wants to believe the best of us, I think." The voice sounded a little bit distant. He heard Arthur shake himself. "He's right though. We need to hide this stuff. And we should start concentrating on the things we know. We aren't soldiers, we're scientists. We have to leverage that."

Maybe he also should have mentioned that they needed to be quieter? They didn't seem to have any concept of the word. Big Boss let out a breath as the guard finally arrived next to him. "I'm going to take care of the situation with the scientists. I want you to inform the rest of the men that they aren't to approach any of them. If someone scares them, I'm not going to be able to find out who sabotaged the lab, so it's really important that you tell them to stay away, you got it?"

The soldier nodded. "Are there any other orders, sir?" Big Boss shook his head, and exchanged a salute with the man.

He gave Arthur and _his_ men a final glance over his shoulder before leaving the mess hall and the soldiers' barracks. His walk through the outside areas was hot, but uneventful.

The white walls of the main building were bright in the sunlight. Inside, it was crawling with guards looking for orders. Big Boss ignored them and continued to the map room where he found Habil and Kayin whispering to each other.

Really, it was _at_ each other, and more _spitting_ than whispering. Big Boss doubted their words would be heard by the average soldier on the base, but he wasn't the average soldier. His ears barely had to strain to hear Kayin say, "His jacket was there, he was wearing it the last time we saw him, there is _no other_ explanation."

"He's above me in rank, and he is allowed to go wherever he wants on this base."

Enough. Big Boss walked in. "Good afternoon, gentlemen. Thank you for turning the siren off, Lieutenant." Kayin let out an angry puff of air as his brother saluted. "Can either of you tell me exactly why it was on?"

"My brother overreacted to something he thought he saw," said Habil with a forced smile. He straightened his jacket.

"Overreacted?" Kayin stared at the Major. "I did _not_ overreact to anything. Someone sabotage my labs and-"

"Your labs, now they're _yours_?" Habil turned on his brother. "You don't do a damned thing in them for the two _years_ we've been here except for using them as an excuse to find yourself human punching bags, and like an idiot I damned well _let_ you do it, and now you're saying they're _your_ labs as though you've been in charge of anything? Oh that's just-"

"I've done _everything_ around here!" Kayin took a step towards his brother, but his intimidation tactics didn't work as well on a trained military man as they did on cowed scientists. Habil stood his ground, the two of them glaring bullets into one another. "Who repairs the lines when they go down? _Me._ Who makes sure the scientists are doing their jobs? _Me_. Who organizes all the missions we get? _Me_ , that's who!"

" _You_? Kayin, if I weren't around, you'd never have made it past Corporal. You don't contribute a damned thing except for the science, and I could just as easily get that from Russia. You're the most interchangeable part of this machine! _You_ are absolutely unnecessary!"

Kayin's mouth snapped shut and he walked out, brushing past Habil on his way. Habil's teeth ground together and his hand clenched into a fist.

"The nerve of him... Just because he's my brother doesn't give him license to... to..."

"To speak to you like that?"

"To speak to _you_ like that!" Habil's eyes rose and met Big Boss'. "You're a war hero! A thousand of him wouldn't be worth one of you!" Habil put a hand to his head and began to massage it slowly. "I don't understand why he's become so... intractable. Brothers are supposed to stand up for each other, be loyal to each other, and instead..."

Big Boss nodded consolingly and put a hand on the other man's shoulder. "Any man who would put his personal ambitions above his loyalty to his country and his family is not worth worrying about."

"You're right. I've wasted too much time worrying about that unappreciative... insolent..."

"You can say it," Big Boss said. Just a little more encouragement.

"Traitor." The word tumbled into the room with finality.

Big Boss put on a serious look. It was what he'd been waiting for: the chance to suggest he be held away from the radios and soldiers and scientists. "We need to arrest him. Keep him under lock and key until a court martial can be assembled. We might have to send him back to the motherland, but we can't do that until this mission is finished. Radio silence still holds. Understood?"

"Yes, sir," said Habil. "I need to set the orders up. Assign someone to watch him. Confine him to quarters." His voice was disappointed and Habil took off his jacket and stared at the command insignia. Big Boss nodded at the other man.

"It's for the best."

"Sir." Habil saluted slowly.

Big Boss watched the other man leave then sat down in a chair. He put his arms heavily onto the table, closed his eyes and yawned. Too long. Too long since he'd last slept, too long since he'd been on a full mission without backup, too long since he'd last seen Arthur Emmerich...

Arthur Emmerich...

The man was wonderful. He'd picked up on almost all the little cues Big Boss had given him, listened in to the most important conversations on the base, and best of all, he actually _thought_ about what he was doing. No blind soldier, to do what he was told and no more. Arthur really _was_ an officer.

Big Boss could just imagine what they would accomplish together. Arthur could create his weapons, Big Boss would go out again on _real missions_ , not just these spy ones... Arthur's face smiling as he published a paper, Big Boss clapping a hand on his shoulder... the two of them on a mission, because Big Boss could see that Arthur was the kind of man who'd want to join him... It would mean training. Arthur on a treadmill or an exercise bike, pumping iron, earning muscles through his sweat...

And then there would be that magical day when he was able to do almost everything Big Boss himself could do and they would go on a mission together. He'd always wanted a partner in the field. Arthur had no training, and look how good he was! Big Boss could already see it.

A mission in the arctic, perhaps, to secure a nuclear payload from one of the suppliers. Arthur would be dressed in a parka, holding in his complaints about the cold while his face turned rosy, checking on the status of the materials while Big Boss stood guard.

_What was that in the snow?_

_He tapped Arthur on the shoulder, and the other man instantly followed Big Boss' line of sight. They had a bond, an unspoken communication: Arthur's hand went to his gun and they both looked around, alert for any signs of life. Big Boss motioned for Arthur to stay where he was, and the scientist nodded, pulling his gun out while his eyes followed Big Boss' every movement._

And move Big Boss did. He zigzagged back and forth to catch sight of the people who'd been following them since they'd left the plane almost three miles back. When he was sure he'd pinpointed all of them, he motioned again to Arthur. Five fingers.

Arthur nodded. Big Boss had handled more, but he could see the worry his partner was suppressing in the other man's eyes. He gave Arthur a smile, and Arthur shook his head and smiled back, the fear not faded but leashed. He was fine.

It was nice to have someone who cared. Big Boss tightened the suppressor on his weapon and crept toward the first man and put his gun into the small of the man's back. "Speak!" he commanded.

"We were sent..." The sound of two gunshots rang through the empty snow field. Big Boss fired his weapon into the man and ran back to Arthur. His partner was clutching his arm, weapon at the ready, a man down in front of him. Big Boss watched the blood dripping with absolute fury. His teeth clenched, his eyes widened, he _shook_. How _dare_ they do this to _his_ partner!

With barely a glance to their locations, he took out two of the soldiers. The last one was still out there, hiding himself, but Big Boss was not going to accept that. His hands tightened around his gun as he scanned the area.

"I'll get him," said Arthur. He'd already bandaged his wound, but Big Boss pushed him back and gave him a sharp shake of his head. He wouldn't let the man get hurt again, wouldn't let him hurt himself by taking on something he couldn't do... "You don't _trust_ me." The other man's eyes were sparkling with hurt and anger and determination. Big Boss couldn't take his eye off of Arthur's face, his fury draining away from him like water.

The last shot shocked his head off the table. He was up and running before the echo died, his brain returning to consciousness without even fully recognizing that he had fallen asleep. Kayin- it had to be-

He was shocked to find a group of soldiers around a group of scientists, menacing them with their weapons in the main courtyard. What kind of discipline was there on this base? "What are you wasting bullets on?" he roared.

"We were just going to see if we could fix things at the lab," said Arthur quickly, addressing Big Boss rather than the soldiers.

"You were trying to sneak out," said the apparent leader of the group.

"He's the only one who does that," scoffed one of the scientists beside him. "And even he's not going to do it when someone's sabotaging things. None of us want to get killed, not even him."

"We all saw how you escaped. We're not letting that happen again, none of us care about your excuses," said another guard. "All of you are staying _on this base_!"

"That's enough," said Big Boss quietly, pushing the guard aside with a show of strength that threw him to the ground. "Are you insubordinate or simply idiots? I gave specific instructions regarding these men."

"Kayin-"

"Kayin has been relieved of duty," he said through clenched teeth. Several of the guardsmen looked at each other. Big Boss had a sudden idea of exactly _who_ had set up the draconian patrolling routes on this base. "Anyone who doesn't want to share in his court martial is free to leave right now."

The guards looked at each other for a moment, then come to an unspoken agreement and dispersed. Arthur and his group stayed still until Big Boss turned his eye on them. He was quite certain they could all still see the anger. The scientists suddenly found they had things to do and very quickly left. Even Arthur took a step back, but his eyes fell on the jacket again and he took a deep breath and stood his ground.

Big Boss didn't have anything left to say. He'd put the cards on the table. It was really just a question of whether or not Arthur liked the deal. As for Arthur, he was silent for a full minute, just staring at the jacket, obviously trying to compose a question in his head.

When he spoke, it was quiet. "What exactly is it you want?"

Big Boss smiled softly. "I think you already know." His words were no louder than Arthur's, pitched so that they wouldn't carry.

"I might. But it would be easier if you'd say it out loud."

"It might. But it's not going to happen."

Arthur nodded. "Well... I guess I'll see you tomorrow." His eyes fell. "Maybe you'll have your answer tomorrow. About my loyalties."

Big Boss nodded slowly. There was really only one reason to say that. The scientists would be attempting their escape tonight. And this? This was Arthur's way of asking for backup. Right. "I'm sure you'll tell me tomorrow. In person."

Arthur nodded and swallowed hard. "I guess I'll try."

Whatever happened tonight, Arthur was a true officer, and Big Boss probably wasn't going to see him again before he completed this mission.

Big Boss saluted.


	8. Sirens of Titan

_I do not fear an army of lions, if they are led by a lamb. I do fear an army of sheep, if they are led by a lion. - Alexander the Great_

It was almost midnight. In the researchers' barracks, not a single man was truly asleep. One was playing solitaire with an old deck of badly used cards. Another was writing formulas he'd learned years ago in an attempt to stifle his nerves. Two more were chatting quietly in German.

Twenty four men were not sleeping in their rooms. Arthur Emmerich had left the building.

Geoff and one of the other scientists had too. Arthur had left them in the lab creating diphosgene-laced smoke bombs almost an hour ago. Someone was eventually going to have to get the courage to toss them into the soldier's rooms. Geoff had assured him that they would take care of it, but Arthur felt increasingly certain that it would be him.

Right now, he didn't have to worry about that though. He'd spent all afternoon and much of the evening trying to think of a distraction that wouldn't get him killed, and he'd come up with one. His back was pressed against the wall next to the rooms they'd given Big Boss. Arthur was going to get the keys to the colonel's jeep.

The big problem was that this task also required a great deal of courage. He'd worked up enough to try the main war room as well as the communication room he thought might have housed the keys, but they were not there. Habil's room had been occupied; he hadn't bothered to check Kayin's, knowing that he'd never have worked up the guts to try.

On the other hand, Big Boss _liked_ him. This was perhaps the least likely of all the places on the base where he'd be killed if someone caught him. He still didn't want to be caught, though.

No sounds had come from the room in the last ten minutes while Arthur had tried to increase his courage. He took a deep breath and looked up and down the hall, checking one last time for guards, then turned the door knob. He pushed the door open, his entire body shaking.

Thankfully, no one was in the colonel's room. Arthur closed the door behind him and took a brief look around. A change of clothes hung in one corner of the room along with the little box he'd kept his medals in during the ride to the base. He had a number of water bottles in a line against the wall. Arthur smiled and grabbed one. He opened it and took a sip, then spit it out.

That was _not_ water!

The bitter flavor permeated his mouth, so he spit again. "I hope that isn't anything dangerous," he whispered to himself. "Doesn't matter what it is, I need to find the keys before he comes."

His heart was beating faster and faster as he opened the drawers. One of them held an extra weapon, but the others were completely empty. He tried searching the extra uniform, which was also empty. The room was so bare... he looked behind the bottles, inside the little box, then finally in the perfectly made bed.

He tossed the pillowcases onto the floor, followed by the pillows. He pulled the sheets off the bed, then, with quite a bit of difficulty, the mattress off the bed frame, but nothing. "Fifteen minutes," he breathed. "A waste of a whole fifteen minutes..."

He let out a breath and closed his eyes, pressing his head against the wall. _Click_. He opened his eyes and spun around in alarm.

"What the hell are you doing, Arthur?"

"Big Boss... I..." Arthur's world narrowed as he stared down the gun barrel. Big Boss shook his head and put it back in it's holster.

"Didn't think I'd see you tonight. Why are you here?" he asked again, the voice softer and more soothing. Calming, almost. Arthur wondered briefly about whether or not the man was manipulating him with his tone of voice.

"I came to see you," said Arthur quickly.

"Did you think I was hiding under the bed?" He didn't look very impressed.

Arthur shook his head even faster than before. "I... I saw those canteens, and I drank some, I just thought you must have a list of what was in them somewhere and-"

"Which one did you drink?" he asked urgently. Arthur pointed at one of them. Big Boss picked it up and sniffed it, then let out a sigh. "You're lucky," he said with a small smile. "Some of these have serious poisons in them. This is just a painkiller." Arthur let out his own breath. "You weren't in here for a midnight drink of water. This is the last time I'm going to ask you, and I want the damned _truth_. Why did you come in here?"

Arthur's eyes closed. The truth or a lie? He could see the possibilities behind his eyes.

A lie: Big Boss might even believe it for a little while, if it was a good enough lie. Sooner or later, though, he'd find out, and when he did, he'd exact his vengeance. He'd come in the dead of the night with his gun and shoot without giving Arthur the chance to explain anything. Arthur wouldn't be able to join him, wouldn't have any protection if there was any truth to this questionable loyalties business. And there was a part of him that _wanted_ to join Big Boss, that _wanted_ to belong somewhere... He'd lived almost thirty years without it, and a part of him was worried about the next thirty.

The truth: Big Boss would give him a chance to explain, but it all would rest on whether or not Arthur had been reading him right. If Big Boss didn't want him getting the scientists out, he'd be killed, and so would the men in the labs. On the other hand, if Big Boss _did_ want him getting the scientists out, he might actually give Arthur the keys. He'd still have the opportunity to decide what to do with his loyalty.

He had to take a chance either way... "I need the keys to your jeep." Big Boss stared at him cooly. "Kayin's going to kill us all, Ocelot told him he could, so I have to get everyone out," he said. Once he'd started, it all came out in a stream. "You know I'll stay if that's what you want, but no one else promised anything to you, and you can't make them stay here when Kayin's just going to kill us, you _know_ that, so it would be best if you-"

Big Boss put a finger on Arthur's lips. "I already knew that. Why do you want my jeep?" He pulled his hand away.

"We need a distraction."

Big Boss sighed and picked up the mattress, placing it back on the frame as thought it weighed nothing. "Sit down, Arthur," he said, taking a seat on the bed. Arthur followed suit. "Arthur, I can't give you my jeep if I don't know it's coming back."

Arthur looked away. "Why do I have to choose _now_? I haven't had the time to really consider things."

Big Boss nodded. "On the battlefield, you have to make split-second decisions when right and wrong are hard to see. Sometimes, right and wrong don't even exist. Just... necessary."

"Like destroying a peace treaty? That's necessary?"

Big Boss sighed. "Sometimes, there are no good answers, Arthur. There's only the mission."

"Bet that makes you feel _righteous_ , doesn't it. No consequences, no answers... bet there aren't even any _questions_ in your world." Arthur crossed his arms and nervously pulled on the fraying sleeves of his t-shirt.

Big Boss rolled his eyes. "Don't oversimplify. There are always consequences and questions. The answers usually aren't very clear. Sometimes, though, it's worth it."

Arthur uncrossed his arms and put his hands in his lap. He looked down at them for a moment. "Worth helping people like Kayin?" he ased silently, raising his eyes to Big Boss' face. The other man was silent. Arthur shook his head. "I can't see anything _he's_ involved with as being _good_ , you know. If you want me because I'll question things, I'll question you right now."

"So you're giving me your loyalty?"

"Not yet."

"Then you really can't question me yet."

"Right." Arthur crossed his arms again. "I can't promise I'd bring your jeep back. I'm not sure I'm going to live through this."

Big Boss let out a breath and leaned back, a smile on his face as he shook his head. "It's all about will. If you want to live through it, you'll manage."

Arthur shook his head and looked up at Big Boss. His single blue eye looked so... "How can you be so certain?"

Big Boss shrugged. "I believe you can do it."

"You really are special," said Arthur. "How can you believe in me when _I'm_ questioning myself?" _Unreliable_. It echoed again in his head, circling like a vulture under the desert sun. _Liar_ and _liability_ followed soon afterwards. "I have nothing to offer you. How can you believe in me?"

Big Boss smiled. "I'm a good judge of character. My first instincts about someone are usually right," said Big Boss, "and I had some good feelings when I first met you." He clapped Arthur on the shoulder. "I believe in you. Can you believe in me?"

Arthur smiled tentatively back. "When I first came here, for a few days, I thought Kayin was an okay kind of guy. Then he had me beaten because I wouldn't say some new idea was his. I'm _not_ such a good judge."

"I'll help you with that. I'll help you with a lot of things. But you have to _choose_ me."

"I know," said Arthur. He rubbed his temples. Choosing anything was a risky, difficult thing to do, especially when the outcomes were so uncertain.

Big Boss took a key from his pocket. "So, Arthur. You can't have this key unless I have your loyalty. It looks like it's time to decide one way or the other."

"Time to choose." Arthur nodded slowly. He didn't _want_ to make this decision, not yet. He barely _knew_ Big Boss. Sure, there was something about him, but... How could Arthur trust him?

Well, there was... He was a lot like Alek. They both had that same... glow about them. That magnetic sense of intelligence and accomplishment. Maybe it was the certainty that made them both so... special. Maybe it was because they both thought that _he_ had something special in him. _Him_ , Arthur Emmerich. Not because he was the son of a man who worked on nuclear bombs, not because he knew Fermi and Einstein as though they were his uncles, but because he was Arthur Emmerich.

He looked at Big Boss. The man was staring at him with that single blue eye of his. The intensity of his gaze made one forget what room one was in. Arthur barely remembered why he'd come until a jangling noise reminded him of the key.

Arthur sighed as he looked at it. It was tempting. He could just reach out and grab it, then run... He looked back at Big Boss and frowned. The man had muscles on his muscles. Arthur could never outrun him. And it would _again_ leave him out of options.

Besides, there was a part of him that wanted to stay at the base, to see what happened. To see if being loyal to Big Boss really meant he could question his decisions. To see if he could believe in someone.

"Arthur, decide. Now."

A snap decision then? "I can't..." No more prevaricating? "I can't decide like this!" No thought to the consequences?

Big Boss' eye stared into him, around him and through him. "You know what you want- what you _need_ \- to do. I trust you. Trust yourself."

Arthur nodded, closed his eyes and stopped thinking. When his lips met Big Boss', he surprised them both. Big Boss pulled away. Arthur opened his eyes as his mouth dropped open. "Sorry," he whispered, horrified. "I've never done anything like that before. I only ever think about it. I know I didn't mean to do that."

"Arthur-"

"Really, I don't mean anything by it. Definitely not. And you're military, so you're probably just _horrified_."

"Arthur-"

"Anyways, you shouldn't kill me, it really didn't mean anything, I don't feel like that, it's not like to do something like that or-"

Big Boss clapped a hand over Arthur's mouth. "I damn well hope it _did_ mean something, Arthur." He looked suddenly very serious. "I don't like it when _anyone_ tries to mess with my feelings. The last person who did that regretted it."

Arthur nodded in terror. He really hadn't meant to do that. It was accidental, and you couldn't hold it against a man when he did something stupid after you'd told him to make some snap decision. Big Boss pressed the key into his hand. "You are coming back. Understood?" Arthur nodded again and swallowed hard. "Right. The reports said you didn't have weapons training. Do you know how to fire a weapon?"

Arthur nodded slowly and tried to calm his breathing. At least for now, Big Boss wasn't going to kill him for his mistake. "Dad used to take me hunting. For deer."

Big Boss pulled a small firearm from his ankle. "Long time ago, but you should still remember the basics. Here, take this." Arthur took hold of the gun. It was heavier than it looked. "This is an S&W double action revolver. Aim it at the door, don't fire."

Arthur held it both hands and closed one eye. Big Boss winced. "Keep both eyes open. And your hold is all wrong." His hands readjusted Arthur's on the gun. "Like that."

Arthur looked at their hands, then at Big Boss. "All right." Big Boss pulled away again.

"What's your plan?" asked Big Boss quietly.

"We're going to throw some gas canisters into the soldier's barracks. That should take out most of them. Then I'm going to drive off. I guess in a big circle. I'll lead the men away from their posts. Everyone else will get out and head towards that town you told me about."

Big Boss nodded. "You have a time in mind?"

"Before dawn?"

"Not very precise," said Big Boss disapprovingly.

"Well, I don't exactly have a _watch._ "

Big Boss raised an eyebrow as he smiled. "I guess you don't. But _I_ have a radio in the car. When you're going to start driving, contact me. 143.53."

Arthur nodded. "I can do that."

"I know." Big Boss smiled. "I'm glad you've decided to join me, Arthur." Arthur nodded again and moved to stand, then hesitated. He wanted to apologize again for kissing Big Boss, but he really wasn't sure how the other man would take that. Big Boss clapped him lightly on the shoulder, and then, with the barest brushing of lips, returned his kiss. Arthur closed his eyes and allowed himself to relax minutely. This was still dangerous- Arthur doubted a man like Big Boss liked things any other way- but if he was willing to kiss back, he couldn't be about to kill him for revealing something that should have stayed hidden. "We're going to do great things together. Great and terrible things."

Arthur bit his lip. He wasn't sure what he'd gotten himself into, but as he looked at Big Boss' eye, which was staring intently at him again, he couldn't help but feel that he'd found someone who was telling him the absolute truth. _Great and terrible things_ echoed ominously in his mind. "Some wonderful things too, I hope."

"Of course," said Big Boss quietly. "You're going to be my second-in-command once you're trained properly. I'm sure you'll have some good ideas. Now put your gun away, and go complete your mission."

Arthur did as he was told with the gun, but his hand paused on the door handle. "Big Boss?" The other man raised an eyebrow. "If I'm going to be your second-in-command, I should know your name, right?"

One corner of Big Boss' mouth turned up and he grabbed one of the bottles, seemingly at random, from off the floor. "Here, Arthur," he said, the sardonic smile growing, "have some water."

Arthur shook his head, but took the water. He'd press the issue later. He raised the canteen in a toast to Big Boss.

He really was special.


	9. Stars Desert the Sky

_Love is whatever you can still betray. Betrayal can only happen if you love. - John LeCarre_

Arthur was sneaking through one of the hallways on his way to the parking lot when he heard the quick footsteps behind him. His only real option was to duck into one of the rooms. The maps were stacked high near one of the walls, but Arthur ignored them as he crawled under a table and waited for whoever was behind him to pass.

Instead of passing, the feet entered the room with him. His breathing sped as he peeked out, hoping no one important was outside, but no such luck: Kayin and Habil stood between him and the door. Arthur bit his lip: there was no way around them, and they'd been known to spend hours planning together. He hoped it was going to be something quick. If not...

Well, Big Boss was waiting for his call. He would simply have to get out by himself.

"All right," said Habil, his words clipped, "you've dragged me here from my bedroom, where I was, by the way, having a rather nice dream. Maybe _now_ you can give me some answers. Like what are you doing out here? I gave you very specific orders-"

"Oh, yes, while accusing me of being a traitor. Traitors don't pay attention to orders." Kayin shook his head quickly. "As it happens, I'm not a traitor. I'm the most loyal person on this base."

"Loyal to yourself and your own purposes." But wasn't everyone? Arthur bit his lip.

Were they really only loyal to themselves? To their own purposes? What if there was a higher goal? Big Boss said he was loyal to his superiors and his subordinates, and if that was the case, wouldn't that prove there could be loyalty to others? And what about Arthur himself? Hadn't he promised to be loyal to Big Boss? Though, that still ended up being loyalty to himself... "I'll ask again, why are you here ignoring my orders?"

"I'm going to kill the traitors on this base."

"Traitors...?" asked Habil. "If you aren't one, we don't have any. You're imagining things."

"Was I _imagining_ the sabotage Emmerich found? No. It's the scientists." Arthur swallowed. _Look on the bright side,_ he thought to himself. _At least he hasn't killed anyone_ yet _. "And him. That colonel isn't loyal to Russia." Where had Big Boss placed his loyalties? Were they to Russia? He talked as though he were some sort of romantic notion of a king, his loyalties wholly placed on those who looked to him for protection. Wasn't that an almost Communistic idea?_

_"I can't believe you're still questioning him. And your scientists were the ones who would have died if something happened. Whoever did it is not on this base, Kayin."_

"Emmerich got scared. The same thing that stopped him from completing most of his escape attempts."

Arthur scowled. Not just unreliable, but a coward too? Obviously, no one knew what they were talking about. Big Boss believed in him, didn't he? And no military man would say that to someone they didn't think was brave, would they? Just because Arthur Emmerich wasn't _stupid_ didn't mean he wasn't courageous and, damn it, _reliable!_

_Kayin was still talking. "...the scientists aren't the only ones who would have died. Gasses in that part of the compound could have been drawn through the entire base, you've been over this base's plans as much as I have and you know it's true. And I guarantee you that the scientists would have gotten out. Do you know the cables that alert the rest of the base of a problem had been cut?"_

_They were?_ That was news. It _did_ sound as though one of the scientists had done it, in that case. None of them realized he checked. Maybe Geoff thought he could get everyone out himself, since Arthur wasn't helping? He'd worked harder to convince him after the sabotage had been found, after all...

No, it couldn't have been any of them. They didn't have the skills to move tiles in the lab ceiling. But most of the soldiers here had enough clearance that they were allowed to look at the maps... either someone had wanted to kill all his fellows, or... or...

Habil shook his head. "It wasn't in your report. But they're still your men. You can't kill them all."

"My report... you wouldn't have read it. So are you going to stop me? I still have some form of command ability on this base, whether you tell your people to arrest me or not."

Habil stared at his brother and said nothing.

"And all the rest who stand with that man." So if it wasn't a scientist, and it wasn't a soldier, and it wasn't Kayin or Habil... "The colonel is a traitor, as are all his allies."

"I stand with him. As do my men." As did the scientists, whether they knew it or not. Arthur grinned. It was the only logical solution. Kayin was absolutely _right_ , Big Boss _wasn't_ a loyal Russian commander!

Kayin shook his head and spoke through clenched teeth, "I'm going to kill every last man who stands with that traitor."

"Kayin, what the hell is wrong with you? Do you think I'm going to let you go on a killing spree?"

"You don't have to let me, brother. I've got my orders from higher up than you."

"What do you mean by that?"

Here it came. The trump card, and whether or not Habil would let his brother kill them all. He just _couldn't_... Big Boss _had_ to have taken this into consideration... "I talked to Ocelot, and he gave me command authority to-"

"How could you _do_ that to me? I've tried to protect you, like Mother asked. I've tried to keep you out of trouble, to keep you in the right schools and the right career paths. And this is how you reward me? You're going to get _me_ a court-martial too?"

"Don't bring Mother into this, Habil. I'm trying- no, I'm _going_ to save my family name from _you_. My country needs me to save it from the _traitors_ like you and the colonel!"

"How dare you-" Arthur shrank back as Habil pulled his gun out and, with a fluid motion, pointed it at Kayin's head. "Get back to your rooms and wait for your court martial. You'll see what happens to... _traitorous dogs_!"

"You're threatening me?" Kayin went very still and his eyes narrowed into slits. "You won't pull the trigger. I'm your brother." Arthur swallowed.

"I said _go_ ," said Habil, his voice low and dangerous.

Kayin stared at his brother for a moment before he broke eye contact and nodded. "All right." Arthur breathed a sigh of relief as Kayin turned, only to have his breath catch again in his throat when he paused a moment later. "Habil, do you remember what they said back in basic training about weapons? First, a gun is always loaded... and second, you should only aim a gun-" He spun suddenly and launched himself at his brother, hands going round the gun. "-when you intend-" His teeth were clenched. Habil was obviously winning, even with the element of surprise on Kayin's side. Kayin kneed the other man in the groin, the gun turning towards Habil. "-to fire!"

Kayin pulled the trigger. The bullet tore through Habil's chest right to the other side, and implanted itself in the floor.

He looked almost... surprised. Arthur held his breath and watched in semi-fascination. Habil's blood was oozing from him like it was a living organism itself. Habil held his brother's eyes for mere moments, four hands clutching the gun as smoke rose from the barrel in a morbid picture of sibling rivalry, before he fell to his knees.

It was like a signal to Kayin. He pulled the trigger again, causing Habil's hands to fall off of the gun. And then he fired again. And again. He emptied the clip into his brother's body. The larger man fell onto his back, still twitchingly alive.

Kayin crouched down next to his fallen brother and whispered loudly enough that Arthur could hear him even from his place hidden under the table. " _That's_ what happens to traitors." He loaded the gun with more bullets, placed the gun against Habil's head, and fired.

And then he cradled the empty head in his lap and cried out as though his world were ending.

Arthur shuddered and took advantage of the man's... what was it, grief? Whatever it was, he took advantage of Kayin's distraction by crawling out from under the table. Security cameras were glaring down at him from overhead, but they weren't manned anymore. He crept to the door, keeping himself low to the ground, and almost crawled out into the hall.

And then he ran. The parking lot was far away.


	10. The Fool with the Crown

_If you're in a fair fight, you didn't plan it properly. - Nick Lappos_

The provisions room was perhaps the largest room on the base. It had two parts to it: one side held reserve supplies of food along with water casks, while the other side was full with weapons of all kinds.

Semi-automatics: the Tokarev and Makarov, the Stetchkin and the Grach... And then there were double action revolvers: the Nagant and an Anaconda. Explosives of almost every kind. RPKs and... what was _that_? Some sort of PK gun, but with a longer barrel and a shorter receiver...

He picked it up. Weight and balance were quite nice... a proper optical sight would make this almost perfect... Arthur could probably do that in a heartbeat. Having a weapons engineer on his team was going to make everything a lot easier. And more fun. Big Boss grinned and strapped the automatic onto his back.

A quiet beeping in his ear reminded him that he had other things to worry about. Big Boss here.

It's me, Arthur. I'm almost ready to go.

Good. He just had to set up the last of the explosives and detonate them. That, more than anything, would ensure an easy escape for the scientists. And once they were out, maybe he'd hire some of them, too. Just needed some information from Arthur about them. Wait a few minutes and then-

Who's car is it? The other one?

What other car?

A military car... It's not as nice as yours. Kind of beat up, pretty long in the front and short in the back. Hm. The gas tank looks like it's right under the driver. That's a bit weird, don't you think? I mean, if there was a collision, or someone was shooting the car, the whole thing would explode right under the driver, and besides that-

That sounds like a UAZ469. Military car... And definitely Russian. His team hadn't managed to commandeer one on short notice. Get driving.

Okay. Um... over and out!

Big Boss winced at the phrase, and added some radio procedures to his internal list of things he needed to teach Arthur after they got home. Out, he replied. In some ways, Arthur hadn't been out of America long enough.

At any rate, another Russian officer was bad news.

Big Boss placed the last of the detonators with care underneath the table covered with automatic weapons. His support team had given him the locations for the bombs on the satellite surveillance maps before he'd come here, so he had no worries that the explosion would be too difficult to handle, or would bring down the building, but-

The sound of metal and a footstep distracted him from his thoughts and he turned, gun already aimed at the door.

"You!"

Big Boss' mouth turned up in a half-smile as the man appeared in the doorway. "Ocelot. I see you still like hats," said Big Boss, waving his gun at the red beret.

"I thought we were on the same side these days," said Ocelot, somehow managing to sound accusatory and slimy at the same time. He had his pistols out, one trained on Big Boss, the other aimed rather haphazardly at the edge of a window, presumably so that he'd have something off of which to ricochet.

"Hm." Too close to set off the explosion... He'd have to lure Ocelot away. He had no desire to kill the younger man. Just because he hadn't gotten around to recruiting him _yet_ didn't mean he wasn't going to in the future. In fact, it was a very real possibility, once he managed to figure out the twisted webs the Philosophers had woven.

Which, admittedly, had so far proven a near impossibility on its own.

"Why are you here?"

Big Boss shrugged and stood a little straighter, keeping his gun on the other man. "Finding a new weapons analyst."

"Oh, that's right. The last one died in a chemical spill." Big Boss' eyes narrowed. His last weapons analyst _had_ died in a chemical spill, and Big Boss had kept that quiet. He'd never accepted that it was purely accidental, either. One competent, dead engineer was unfortunate, but it had been the second in a year. He needed to monitor things better. "Word gets around," said Ocelot, tilting his head to the side. He definitely needed to monitor things better.

"I think my newest one will last a little bit longer. He pays attention to details."

"I'm sure he does. But if you're not on my side, I'm not sure you'll make it back to your-"

The siren sounded suddenly, a piercing wail in the silence of the night. Big Boss lunged at Ocelot. The younger man had definitely improved since the last time Big Boss had seen him: he got a shot off and almost managed to avoid being knocked over. The shot went wide, and Big Boss sent him crashing to the floor.

"You talk too much," he said, and gave Ocelot a teasing smile before hitting him. The punch was only strong enough to daze the other man momentarily, giving Big Boss a few seconds lead time to start running down the hall away from Ocelot.

As expected, the sounds of Ocelot's footsteps started ringing through the compound behind him, a strange rock beat of staccato drumming to the harsh cymbals of his spurs while the siren sang its discordant melody above. Big Boss counted the number of guards as he sprinted out of the main building. Arthur's plan had worked to a degree: there were only five guards left. Unfortunately, they seemed to be more alert than they might have been, if only because no other guards had left the barracks.

Big Boss glanced behind him and saw Ocelot turn the corner. He moved his back against the wall and pressed the trigger for the explosives. The resulting fireball caught the guards' attention in a heartbeat. The scientists started moving fast while the guards stared at it.

"Don't just stand there, put it out!" shouted Big Boss.

The guards looked at him for a moment, grateful for the leadership, then ran around looking for the sandbags Big Boss had hidden against the far walls earlier that afternoon. By the time Ocelot ran outside the building, it was too late to call the soldiers back.

Big Boss gave another half-smile when Ocelot scowled.

"How _dare_ you?" Ocelot pulled out his gun and fired. Big Boss was already rolling. He glanced around for a quick analysis of the battlefield.

The scientists were behind him, moving as quickly as they could, which was still too slowly for _his_ comfort. The guards were off at the other side of the base, lugging sand bags. The fire in the main building was growing, and some of the scrub brush around was starting to light thanks to the smaller explosions of gunpowder in the main room. Ocelot was reloading one of his guns- or rather, he was finished.

Big Boss ducked again as the sharpshooter took aim, then grabbed some sand and threw it in Ocelot's face. Ocelot wiped his eyes with a frustrated swipe of his hand. "Can't you ever fight fair?" he spat out.

Big Boss ignored him and used his quick distraction to get behind Ocelot. He pulled out his special ops MK22, and fired into Ocelot's neck. Ocelot pulled it out and shot at a window on the burning upper floor. Big Boss barely dodged it as it ricocheted back toward him. While he was dodging, Ocelot turned around and fired again.

Big Boss' body twisted to avoid the second shot. He landed badly, and felt a rib crack, but rolled to a stand and caught Ocelot's arm up into a painful hold. He broke it with a casual ease born from repetition. Ocelot's third gun was still in the holster, so close that Big Boss could reach out and touch it.

Ocelot gasped, gun falling from his right hand and beret falling from his head as he spun around. He tried to bring his left up to shoot Big Boss, so Big Boss knocked his second gun away with a hard punch to Ocelot's hand.

Big Boss grinned. Ocelot grit his teeth against the pain as Big Boss twisted the arm he still held one handed. "You're... you're too cocky," said Ocelot.

Big Boss raised an eyebrow. "You're the one without a weapon," he said reasonably.

"You don't fight fair!"

"Since when is war _fair_?"

"Huh." Ocelot lifted his obviously heavy eyelids and looked at Big Boss. "You know," he said quietly, "you're right. So I-" Big Boss smiled as Ocelot reached for his third gun. "I won't fight fair either!"

Ocelot pointed it at Big Boss and fired. The gun clicked uselessly. Twice. Three times. "I traded you," said Big Boss finally, pulling out Ocelot's gun and flipping it on one finger in the same useless, showy technique Ocelot had used. "Hope you don't mind."

"You..."

Big Boss winked. "Well, I didn't want to be shot."

Ocelot fell, the sedative finally taking over. Big Boss sighed and looked up. The fire was burning higher, and it seemed distinctly unlikely that the sand was going to put it out. Ocelot wasn't really a bad person, just a soldier on another team. A _young_ soldier, and one who reminded him of himself, at that.

He dragged Ocelot away from the burning building and propped him up against the wall. He pulled Ocelot's keys out of his pocket. He couldn't have Arthur or himself being followed when they left.

The sound of the car engine turned his head. Arthur returned with a flat tire and three guards still behind him. They looked triumphant, as though they had corralled him back to the base. And given the amount of time he'd been gone, they might have been right.

Big Boss added a driving course to the list of training, pulled out his gun, and fired three rounds. The soldiers fell almost instantly from their motorbikes, each one rolling on the ground before coming to a stop in a heap of tangled body parts.

Arthur pulled up to a stop beside Big Boss with a grin on his face. "I did it!" he said, his eyes too wide, lit from within by the fire of triumph and from without by the blazes Big Boss had set.

Big Boss gave back a smirk. "I knew you could do it, Arthur."

"You did! And I did... I'm not unreliable at all. I did what I said I'd do!"

And if he'd needed a little help, there was certainly nothing wrong with that. And absolutely no reason to take anything away from Arthur's first victory by mentioning it. "We're going to be good partners," he said finally.

Arthur nodded, suddenly serious. "I was thinking in the car. You weren't here to let everyone free." Big Boss inclined his head. "You came here to blow up Algeirs, and you helped me do _this_ instead."

Slightly wrong. Hadn't Arthur noticed that Big Boss himself had sabotaged the labs? No reason to say _that,_ either. Let Arthur think he'd been more powerful than he had been. "I take recruiting seriously."

"You must," said Arthur with a small smile. His brow pulled together. "I don't understand it... but..." Arthur bit his lip.

"Don't worry about it," said Big Boss with a shrug.

"No, I-" Arthur looked down briefly, then leaned in to kiss Big Boss on the cheek. His eyes locked themselves with Big Boss' eye. "Thanks. I mean it."

Big Boss' eyebrows raised. "Mean what? A kiss on the cheek is supposed to mean something?" Big Boss shook his head. God damn it! What the hell was Arthur Emmerich playing at? "You're going to be reliable by-"

Arthur interrupted him by kissing him full on the lips.

Finally.

He pulled back abruptly, an angry look on his face that was gradually moving to nervousness as Big Boss said nothing. "L-look... I..."

"You're either on or off, aren't you," Big Boss mused as he took out a cigar. He offered one to Arthur, who shook his head. Arthur looked confused, so Big Boss put an arm around him. "We've got years ahead of us."

Big Boss laughed at Arthur's confused and slightly disappointed look. He was, what, the same age as Ocelot? Youth never understood patience.

He frowned. Arthur and Ocelot were the same age... That really made Arthur _young_ , didn't it...

"Someone's coming out of the main building!" The shouts from the soldiers distracted him from his thoughts.

"K-Kayin," whispered Arthur.

"This has to stop," muttered Big Boss. "Come on, Arthur."

Big Boss grabbed Arthur's arm and more than half dragged him closer to the burning building. "No, he'll kill- He's already killed Habil!"

"Has he? Then accuse him to his face!" There were a few things Big Boss had no patience for either.

"But-"

"Kayin! What the hell happened here?" Big Boss put on his best commanding voice. Kayin didn't respect him, had just killed his brother and committed treason, but there wasn't a military man with a rank below colonel that could ignore it. "Where's your brother? He should be overseeing this!"

"He's dead," said Kayin, his voice a little far away.

Arthur tried to pull away from the soot covered man, but Big Boss held him firmly in place. "I leave for a few minutes to pull this one back into the base, and I come back to _this_? Habil dead, the stores burning-" A particularly loud explosion blasted out debris, and Arthur tried to bring his arms up and move behind Big Boss, away from Kayin.

Kayin noticed the movement and blinked slowly, eyes turning inward for a moment before focusing on Arthur. "You," he said quietly. "Emmerich. Somehow you did this..."

Arthur shook his head and looked at Big Boss.

"Where are the rest of my soldiers, Emmerich?"

"I d-d-don't know," said Arthur. "M-maybe they ran off."

"What is _that_ supposed to mean?" Arthur bit his lip and looked at Big Boss again. Kayin didn't give either of them the time to speak. "You! You killed Habil!"

"What... But _you_ -" Arthur started.

" _I_ valiantly tried to save my brother's life in there, but you had no respect! You shot him six times at close range, and that was probably the only way you could hit him!" Kayin jabbed a finger at Arthur. Big Boss let go of his new partner's arm. "The Russian government is going to... lobotomize you!"

"It was your g-gun! I don't even have a g-gun!"

"Sir, look at how he lies!" Kayin said to Big Boss. Big Boss raised an eyebrow. A guilty conscience was enough to make some men believe they'd been wrong about everything. This turn of opinion was... enlightening.

"Oh, right, _I'm_ lying? If I'm l-lying, then what happened? Did I overpower y-you, who's got the military t-training? You've got to be k-kidding!"

"How _did_ he get your gun, Lieutenant?" asked Big Boss with a small, probably superior smile on his face.

"I..." Kayin looked around as though searching for a solution. "He snuck in while I was sleeping. I woke to all this smoke pouring through the base! He's destroyed the munitions supplies, sir!"

"Oh, I can see they've-," started Big Boss.

"How do we know _y_ - _you_ didn't start the fire?" asked Arthur suddenly. "You killed your brother and then started this so that no one could find the body! That stuff in there is dangerous! Toxic! You know the kind of chemical cloud you can create like this?"

Chemical cloud? Big Boss glanced up surreptitiously at the thick black smoke. His people hadn't said anything about airborne chemicals. A chemical cloud was dangerous... it was probably time to leave. "Arthur," he said quietly through his teeth.

"Oh, we don't have anything like that in there," said Kayin dismissing Arthur's comments. "I know our supplies-"

"So you admit it! You started it!"

Kayin looked about as though finally noticing something. "Where are the rest of the scientists?"

"Gone," shouted Arthur. "Far enough that _you'll_ never find any of them again, you... you... fratricide!"

"You little pissant. You really _did_ set the fire." Kayin's eyes narrowed and he pulled his gun out. "You're going to regret blowing this mission."

Big Boss readied himself for a CQC hold, letting his cigar fall to the ground. Arthur took a step backward, then paused. "You've never got more than one extra clip on you," he said finally, his voice tight and his breathing starting to speed up. "So go ahead."

For a moment, it looked as though Kayin was going to back down. The hand holding the gun twitched and he put it back into the holster. He nodded at Arthur. "You're right," he said. "I'm out of ammo." He tilted his head back to stretch his neck and Big Boss allowed himself to relax.

Without warning Kayin's teeth clenched and he lunged at Arthur. Big Boss caught him mid-stride and threw him to the ground. Arthur jumped backwards. Big Boss leaned down. "You know and I know," he murmured into the other man's ear, "just who killed your brother. But don't you worry about it. No one's going to court martial you for his murder."

Big Boss pulled out a gun, one with live ammunition and placed it against Kayin's head. "Sh," whispered Big Boss when Kayin tried to say something. "You're going to live with his murder, and the pain and deaths of Arthur's friends that you caused. You know why? Because a true leader of men knows how to make his people do what he wants while they're protected, and a true leader knows that his men are his strength. You ate your strength out from under you, so now, you will have no strength."

"Big Boss?" Arthur knelt down next to him. "The smoke is... I think we should leave."

"Fatal?" he asked sharply, his eye still on the lieutenant.

"I don't think so, but it won't be good for our lungs..."

"Get in the car, then. Not mine, the other one." He threw Ocelot's keys at Arthur, who promptly dropped them in the sand. The scientist scrambled around for them for a moment, then headed to the car. "I'll be driving," he called out.

Big Boss took a breath and risked a glance upward. Arthur was right. The smokey cloud was beginning to descend. He returned his full attention to Kayin. "One day, you might find your guilty conscience hurts more than anything you can imagine," said Big Boss quietly. "But in the mean time, you're going to remember tonight. If I could cut out your heart and leave you alive..." He shook his head.

Over the years, he'd picked up a lot of knowledge that was useful in battle. One of those bits of wisdom was how to disable opponents. Permanently.

He fired two shots into Kayin's elbows, his gun silenced. Kayin yelled his pain out into the night. The soldiers were too busy fighting the fire to even notice it.

"That marks you, Kayin," said Big Boss, his voice quiet and yet above the screams. "As traitor to your family, traitor to your men, traitor to your superiors. Three times traitor." He spat on the man. "Goodbye, Kayin. May our paths never again cross."

He was still moaning as Big Boss stood and walked casually to the car, putting his gun back in his belt. When he got in, he strapped on his seat belt and started it up. Arthur was staring at Kayin from the passenger's side. "It's funny. I almost feel sorry for him. I don't even know why..."

Big Boss shrugged. "There's no such thing as an absolute enemy. A very wise person told me that once."

"He killed his brother, though, and for what? What was he killing for?" Arthur sounded frustrated.

Big Boss put the car into drive. "What everyone kills for. What they think is right."

"Is that why you kill? Why you were going to destroy Algeirs?" Big Boss didn't quite know how to answer that, so he just started driving out of the compound. "What did you say your name was again?"

"I didn't," said Big Boss.

"No. I guess you didn't at that, did you."

Big Boss smirked and reached for his belt as they started to gain speed. "Here," he said, "have some water."

_This is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning. - Winston Churchill_


	11. Hang on John

_I remembered the line from the Hindu scripture, the Bhagavad Gita: "I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds." I suppose we all thought that, one way or another. - Robert Oppenheimer_

1980: Iraq attacks Iran. The Algeirs Accord is cast aside.

1982: Iran attacks Iraq after Operation Ramadhan.

1985: Iran uses American hostages in order to ransom weapons from the United States.

1986: Iraq and Iran fight bitterly over the Middle East.

March 26, 1986. Chernobyl.

* * *

_**Night 0: Chernobyl to Kiev** _

"Oh shit!" The power went out. "Oh, no, no, _no_ ," Arthur punctuated his last comment with a hit to the table.

A sound like a giant's hammer blasted its way through the room. Arthur blinked stupidly for a moment. "It's my fault. My fault," he whispered as he stood up and closed the window, breathing shallowly. "I knew it could happen, we both did, we _all_ knew, but I never thought it would happen here, not to us, not when so much is at stake-" Arthur shut his mouth. He couldn't bear to go down that train of thought.

He reached for the radio transceiver with trembling hands. "Boss? You there?"

There was nothing but static at the other end of the line. "It's worth it all. It has to be. Boss?" He could hear his voice sounding more frantic. "Boss?" But there was no answer. "Damn it!" He hit the table again. It shook.

"I've killed them. All of them." Arthur sat down heavily in the chair and stared at the now unresponsive monitor. "They weren't far enough away. What the hell am I supposed to-" He stopped and looked at the ceiling, his eyes following the grooves for a few seconds to try to calm himself.

"I have to get out of here." Arthur rubbed his head, his hand shaking slightly. He needed a drink. "They'll be evacuating this town by morning, maybe before that, so I'll need to beat the rush. Get to Kiev. Maybe..." He turned off the radio, fingers trembling. The static was more than just depressing or frightening-

Blood. He'd just bit through his lip.

He consciously pulled his teeth out of his lower lip and patted around for a cloth and, finding a used towel, held it to himself carefully. "Maybe it's just mechanical failure," he said, his voice unnaturally loud against the background of the terrible, silent accusations. "Interference from the radiation..." He had to fill the room with something, even if it was just his voice. "Yes, that might explain it. Not dead."

Arthur stood and rubbed the back of his neck as he took a look around the room. "I'll just pack everything up and head off to Kiev. He'll be waiting there, he said he would be. He's never missed a meeting."

The hotel was really just a hole in the wall as far as Arthur was concerned. The accommodations they usually found were much better. Big Boss made a point of it because it helped morale so much for the men to be in good quarters.

This place, on the other hand... a bare four-by-four foot room, and this was the double. The blankets on the bed were slightly soiled, and the paint was peeling off the window ledges. Even in a Communist country, the hotels were usually better kept than this. It had been the best they could do on short notice, but the whitewashed walls and uncomfortable, if functional, beds were hardly the quality he was used to on a mission. At least it would be simple to clean.

The tape backups were strewn about the floor. Arthur picked those up, as well as most of the plans they'd made regarding the operation, and threw them all on the bed next to his motorcycle helmet, then opened up the USSR standard military rucksack they'd purchased from the surplus stores along the way. He couldn't count the number of times he'd laughed at Big Boss for putting all the useless military junk into them. He couldn't count the number of times he'd groaned and complained about having to carry his through to the mission: after all, he had a lot of other equipment to bring with him, usually, and it was much more important and useful.

Today, however, it seemed that Big Boss' plans for the worst were going to be useful. Arthur dug around in the bag and pulled out a Geiger counter. He turned it on and swallowed deeply. Already, there was enough in the area to poison him twice over. He attached it to his belt.

"I have to get out of here. If this mission is over, I-" He stopped himself again by taking a deep, shaky breath. "Time to go."

He grabbed the tapes and plans and stuffed them into the pack. The computer he left sitting there, along with the radio. Neither of them would work, and it seemed unlikely they would matter in the larger scheme of things. Then he grabbed his helmet and casually started out. Well, as casually as one _could_ start with a hundred pound weight on one's back. He didn't bother to lock the door as he got out into the hall and quickly walked down the stairs, taking them two at a time, then walked out without saying a word to the clerk still on duty.

As he got out the door, the radiation monitor let out a painfully loud squeal. Arthur turned it off- he already damn well _knew_ about the radiation- and got on the motorcycle. He was riding before anyone had really begun to wonder why the lights were out.

For the first half hour, he went as quickly as he could. He passed by the tall apartment buildings, several of which were so new that paint was still drying on the upper floor railings. The amusement park was behind him as he sped through the empty city streets.

Tomorrow, people would be waking to find themselves telling their children that there would be no more trips to the park. They would be leaving their homes behind, and who knew where they would go? Families displaced and evicted because Arthur Emmerich hadn't covered all the bases. Because some idiot somewhere didn't know what to do with their reactor and thought they could cut corners. Because the damned _Iraqis_ were _blackmailing_ them.

Them. Arthur and Big Boss. If Big Boss even made it.

He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment and pushed the bike to go faster. It wasn't _fair_.

When he opened his eyes, he had to slow down to make a curve in the road, only to be confronted by lights blocking his way forward. He wrenched the handlebars to the side to avoid them, skidding across the paved surface. The pack was overbalancing him, but he managed to stay upright as the turn skidded him out of control. The bike had turned almost entirely around by the time the skid ended.

He took a moment to catch his breath before turning to face the lights. Five lights about the right height for motorcycles, and another pair that looked like they might belong to a personnel carrier of some sort. Arthur did a quick estimation in his head, automatically assuming that he was dealing with Russian army regulars. He didn't like the numbers he came up with: between seven and twenty men stood behind those lights. He gazed at the group with his hands firmly on the handle bars of his bike, hoped it was a standard road block, and waited for one of them to approach him.

He didn't have to wait very long. "Coming from Pripyat?" asked some formless man from the center of the lights.

Arthur nodded cautiously and moved his hands from the bars, letting them drift down towards his belt and the gun he kept there.

"Hands on the bars," the man said sharply. Arthur nodded and slowly raised his hands back, putting them down lightly. "What's your name?"

"Dmitri Radenkov," said Arthur quietly. "I have my identification and travel papers in my front pocket."

There was a pause, and Arthur could see movement in the silhouette of the carrier lights, could hear two voices murmuring too quietly for Arthur to pick up the words over the sounds of the motors.

"We have a picture of an American capitalist, Arthur Emmerich. You look like him."

Arthur frowned as if in concentration and worry. "They say everyone has a twin," he said slowly. There was a lot of undergrowth to the side; if he darted in there before they could get a good shot off, he'd at least negate the effects of the light... The problem was, even with their advantage gone, he wasn't going to win. Big Boss' last test had rated him as capable against one man with special forces training... three men without it... in a best case scenario, there were still too many for him to deal with himself.

The only option was running, and he wasn't good enough on his bike that he was all that comfortable with _that_ option through forested terrain with at least five men behind him...

The sound of a hammer cocking got his attention back on the men. He waited, trying not to appear tense, then threw himself into the bush as the shot fired.

"Shoot to kill," ordered the man.

And then Arthur heard them, more than a dozen weapons being cocked. He felt a certain clarity to the world. He was going to be shot full of holes, and there was nothing he could do about it. He closed his eyes as the first shots began to ring through the night.

A moment later, the shooting stopped and Arthur opened his eyes, amazed to still be alive. He peered out from behind the bush. "Emmerich?" came a raspy voice and then a few steps with a clinking sound. Arthur pulled his head back. "I'd hate to think I killed my countrymen for Dmitri Radenkov."

Arthur raised an eyebrow and pulled out his gun before standing. "Who are you?"

The man was between Arthur and the lights. Arthur couldn't see much of the man. "My name is Ocelot. Revolver Ocelot." He could hear a clinking sound as Ocelot stepped forward.

Arthur shook his head. "Why do you all pick such absurd names?" The other man chuckled. Arthur could see the other man's gun being twirled around his finger. He kept his own gun trained on Ocelot. "So what do you want?"

"My men and I," at this he gestured and three men came out of the shadows, "want to join your organization."

"What do I look like, an army sign up clerk? You don't come to _me_ to join anything."

"Must have been misinformed," said Ocelot. His voice sounded so superior that Arthur felt like punching him. "But I thought-"

The sound of a gun hammer being pulled back interrupted Ocelot. His gun pointed at Arthur and Ocelot fired before Arthur could think to move, but the bullet did not tear into him. Arthur looked around, confused for a moment.

His eyes caught sight of a bullet beside him, and he heard a faint moan from behind the motorcycles. He looked at Ocelot with widening eyes. "You didn't just... shoot that bullet out of the air... and ricochet it... to hit..."

Ocelot gestured at one of his men, who ran to the unlit area. "I was going for a head shot. My aim today isn't very good." Another shot broke the silent night and the moaning stopped.

"Not good today?" said Arthur in disbelief. "I..." He licked his lips and looked at the downed man. The bullet had hit him just under the heart. "What did you say your name was?"

"Ocelot."

Arthur nodded absently. "And your men?"

"Introductions can wait. I don't like that sky over there."

Arthur looked back towards Pripyat and Chernobyl where the sky was bright from what must be towering flames. "Right." He put the safety back on his gun and holstered it, then picked up his bike. "Any gear with you?"

"No more than you." He gestured and his men got on bikes around them. His spurs clinked on the ground as he got on a bike of his own.

Arthur took a moment to study Ocelot. His blond hair was starting to grey, and his eyes were a startling green. He was about half as muscular as Big Boss, a quarter more than Arthur himself. He even _sat_ with a sense of well-earned arrogance. But there was something about him...

Something... special. And oddly familiar.

Arthur shook his head. Familiar or not, the fires lighting the sky weren't getting darker, and he would bet the Geiger counter wasn't displaying any lower. "Right. Let's go."

He started his bike with a muted buzz. Behind him, Ocelot and his men started their cycles with a thunderous roar behind him. Arthur frowned in annoyance. Apparently, he was the only one who knew to be quiet in dangerous situations.

Arthur moved out and led the way on the road, pushing his bike to a level that balanced sound and speed. "Ocelot," he called out. The other man moved forward so that they were almost on top of one another. "Why do you want to join up?"

"I don't want to be on the losing team," Ocelot called back. Arthur didn't think he'd had much practice talking on a bike, since most of the sound went backwards. "Mother Russia isn't gaining any more. It's you capitalist dogs that are managing to defeat her at every turn."

"We aren't with the US. If you want to defect to them, you're _really_ talking to the wrong guy," said Arthur, pitching his voice to fly forwards and to the side. "We're a mercenary company more than anything else."

"Mercenary?" asked Ocelot. He was a quick study. His voice was already starting to keep itself from disappearing behind them. "Looks more like a terrorist organization."

"That..." Arthur paused. "It wasn't supposed to go down like that."

"Oh? How was it supposed to happen?"

Arthur bit his lip. The man could still be a spy. Big Boss had warned him not to take anyone's ethnicity at face value, and still less someone's word. Sure, Ocelot had saved Arthur's life, but... trust was earned by more than a single bullet. "How much do you know?" he countered.

"Your mercenary group paid off more than 15 men. Was it worth it?"

Arthur's breathing sped as the horror of the situation overcame him, but that fear was quickly replaced by anger. How _dare_ he ask that question? He didn't know the stakes they were playing, had no concept of the players or what they could win or lose. "Are you here to debate ethics?" snapped Arthur harshly. "We obviously missed the operator of the plant, so it didn't work out."

He pulled ahead of Ocelot. Arthur didn't want to discuss the mission until he knew how badly it had gone. When he met up with Big Boss, which he _would_ , they could discuss it then. Or later. Better yet, they could discuss the entire thing once they'd gotten on an airplane away from Europe and the Middle East. Some time in South America might be nice.

The darkness of Kiev was rising up ahead of them now. When they'd left for Pripyat two days ago, it had been bright and shining, a jewel of the Ukraine. Now, with the darkness that had been imposed upon it, it seemed more like a bit of used-up coal, black and lifeless. The sky behind them was still bright.

Arthur led the group speedily through the streets until they got to the makeshift base. His breath caught as he looked at the parking lot. There were none of the transport trucks with hidden cargoes of nuclear material, no motorcycles lying unattended.

He pulled into one of the many empty spots. "We'll wait out here," he said once the other four men had caught up with him and parked their own bikes.

"This is your base?" asked Ocelot.

"What? Of course not. This is just a stopover." Arthur walked to the curb and stared out, looking for any sign of lights between the buildings and distant smoke stacks. Being on top of a hill made it much easier to scan. "They might be a bit farther away," he said quietly. Ocelot came up beside him. "Chernobyl is a few miles away from Pripyat, and they might have had to worry about fire trucks or military or..."

"You expected them here before you?"

"No," said Arthur, again too forcefully. He forced the tension out of his voice. "No, I didn't. I just need them to get here so I can assess the situation. You have men under your command, surely you can understand that."

"Hm. You're the one in command?" asked Ocelot.

"Second in command," said Arthur, distractedly while searching again for lights. "There! That must be them." He pointed a few streets over and did a quick count. "I think everyone's made it," he said, relief coloring his voice. Arthur and Ocelot watched for a moment as the light trucks came up the street. "Off the road," said Arthur with a quick nod of his head. The three men who'd come with Ocelot did it without an apparent thought. Ocelot looked at Arthur with half-lidded eyes before he did the same.

Arthur waved the trucks in with an expansive gesture. The first one stopped and Big Boss got out. He looked as relieved as Arthur felt as he walked into the street. When Arthur had waved the last of the trucks in, Big Boss' arms went around him.

"Why didn't you radio?"

"It wasn't working," said Arthur, turning into Big Boss' embrace. "I thought you were _dead_." He brought his own arms up around Big Boss. They stayed in that position for a moment or two before the sound of a clearing throat distracted them. Big Boss turned.

"Ah, this is-"

"Ocelot," said Big Boss, his gun snapping up. "Also known as Shalashaska. I recognize him."

Ocelot left his gun in its holster. It was a mark of extreme skill or extreme arrogance. The man had both in spades. "I'm not here to fight you. I want to join you." He motioned to his men with his head, his arms spreading to the sides. " _We_ want to join you."

"Don't believe you. Get out of here."

"Boss," Arthur said in a very soft voice, "they want to join." They'd decided long ago that they would never argue in front of the men, but some disagreements, like this one, had to be faced when they happened.

"I can't trust him, and I'm not accepting them," he replied just as quietly.

"He saved my life," said Arthur. Big Boss just shook his head. "Fine... then I'm vetoing."

"What?" Ocelot raised an eyebrow. The sound had clearly carried. In a whisper, Big Boss continued, "you have one opportunity to call me on a bad decision every six months, and you're going to override me on _this_? And what about this mission? You're willing to sacrifice it?"

"We're not sacrificing anything. He shot a bullet out of the air! We're keeping him with us," said Arthur decisively.

Big Boss still looked like he wanted to blow the other man away, but he lowered his weapon. "We don't have rooms for you..."

A wail across the street distracted Arthur from the logistics of the situation. A man and a woman were walking on the other side of the road, a fussy child in the man's arms. Arthur took a step towards the trio, then put his hand on his gun and stopped, feeling suddenly that it was too cold in the evening Ukranian evening air. It was unlikely the parents would appreciate the approach of a strange man with a weapon, even if they didn't notice him.

They looked so _peaceful_ though, despite the cries... Peaceful even in these warlike times. The times were always warlike, weren't they... Sometimes, Arthur wanted nothing more than that domesticity, that simple life that was absolutely impossible as long as he was with Big Boss. And he didn't want to leave Big Boss, either. He just wanted... both.

"Arthur?" Big Boss said softly into his ear.

"What?" The father seemed to have figured out what the child wanted, as the howls were slowly getting quiet, the infant placated with... a bottle, perhaps? Just by the gentle rocking arms of its father?

"Let's go inside. We have an early morning tomorrow. To make sure these get delivered on time." A hand came down gently on his shoulder, its warmth barely offsetting the cool breeze.

"Right," said Arthur slowly. His eyes lingered for a moment longer before he allowed Big Boss' careful pulling to bring him up the external stairs and into their room. "We've only got five days."


	12. Coward, Servant, Blind Man

_Never explain - your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway. - Elbert Hubbard_

**Day 1: Kiev to Suceava**

The next day started early. Big Boss woke with the dawn, internal clock forcing his eyes open as the sun was only just beginning to crest the horizon outside.

"Arthur, wake up," he said softly. The other man muttered something. Big Boss shook him. "Arthur." The lines around Arthur's eyes creased, and Big Boss frowned and put his ear to his lover's mouth, hoping to catch the words.

"No, leave them alone," mumbled Arthur. "I'll give you it... I'll tell you... Please, just stop... No more, I'll.. I'll-"

Big Boss sat up abruptly. Arthur hadn't mentioned any nightmares. He shook his head slightly, then pulled Arthur into his arms. It woke Arthur instantly. "You're safe," Big Boss said. "And I'll fix this," he said. It was exactly what he'd said to Arthur then, and as the man opened his eyes, Big Boss felt relieved that it was exactly what he needed to say again.

"Boss," said Arthur. He shook his head to clear the sleep out of his eyes.

"You okay?" asked Big Boss quietly. Arthur froze for a fraction of a second, then nodded and laughed it off.

"Just a dream." He smiled. Big Boss thought it looked a bit tense, but he decided to let it drop.

"What happened last night?" he asked.

"The operator... did something stupid." He pulled a Geiger counter from beside the bed. "The readings are pretty high, even this far away," he said quietly. "I... It's worth it, right?" he asked, looking into Big Boss' eyes with a sense of desperation.

"Of course it is," said Big Boss, gazing deeply into Arthur's frightened eyes. After a moment, the other man turned his eyes down, embarrassed.

"What about on your end?"

"Well. We didn't get as much as we wanted. Only filled the trucks halfway." He took out a cigar and lit it. "Not the best case scenario, but there's more than enough." He took a long pull and held it in for a moment before blowing it out. "On the bright side, no one will know it was us if all the evidence is destroyed."

"Oh, another bright side to a nuclear catastrophe." Arthur waved the smoke away. "I don't think it needed it. It's already glowing." Big Boss sighed and inclined his head. "Put that out," Arthur said grumpily.

"What? Cigars haven't bothered you for years."

Arthur pulled the blankets down and pointed at a small, circular burn-mark on his inner thigh while staring stonily ahead. Big Boss put the cigar out with a sigh and leaned over to kiss Arthur gently.

"I am going to fix this, Arthur," he said.

"I know, I know." Arthur's eyes started to rove around the room. "We should get ready to go."

"Maybe we should talk about all this..."

"We have a limited amount of time," said Arthur with a shake of his head. "We have to get to Baghdad as soon as we can. So..."

Big Boss sighed and gave Arthur a hard look. He put a finger lightly on a half-healed cut that ran from Arthur's right eyebrow and traced it down to his shoulder. He pushed the other shoulder a little and watched Arthur wince. It had been pulled out of the socket a few too many times recently. His eyes were determined, but Big Boss felt certain that his second in command was in pain.

"This really isn't good for you," he said finally. "But you're right, we don't have time for it." He stood up and pulled a uniform out of his pack. "We'll be crossing the border into Romania today, right?"

"That's the plan," said Arthur. Big Boss heard the sound of fabric rustling behind him as he pulled on his own trousers. "We should make Suceava tonight at around 8pm. I've got the hotel name somewhere with the maps."

"Good." He did up the tie on the Russian dress uniform carefully, then sat down and pulled on a pair of socks. "Do I look Russian?" he asked, stepping into a pair of shoes.

Arthur turned, jacket still laying on the bed, and looked critically at Big Boss. "You don't quite measure up to Ocelot," he said. Big Boss raised an unimpressed eyebrow at him. "You've got the command look down though." Arthur gave him a semi-mocking salute, a half-smile appearing on his face.

Big Boss shook his head. "Just don't pull any of that outside."

"Do I look stupid?"

Big Boss looked at the cuts with a frown. "You look damaged , which is worse. And now you look hurt as well Don't be like that."

Arthur shook his head with an annoyed frown. "You go wake everyone up. I'll be out in a bit."

Big Boss sighed and picked up the Russian hat.

He woke the rest of his men before bothering with Ocelot and his . He half-hoped they would decide not to come, or even that they would decide to try to kill them all. A battle in the morning might have been devastating to the men, but it would have got the adrenaline going and given him an excuse to put Arthur's veto aside.

Unfortunately, they were all on their best behavior. Ocelot even asked Arthur if he could be of any help . Help! As though Big Boss needed Ocelot anywhere on his team.

He didn't have time to talk to Arthur again before they had to leave. The men got onto their bikes, the six men driving the trucks got in, and then they were off.

The driving was very simple. They stopped at noon for a quick break near the end of the highway at Rivne, and Big Boss checked the supplies. With four extra mouths to feed over the next few days, things were going to be tight.

"Arthur," he called. The other man was checking his bike for damage, probably thinking about the mission. Big Boss' shoulders fell slightly when Arthur didn't answer him. He was thinking too much again.

Big Boss walked to Arthur and put his hand on the other man's arm. "Arthur?"

"What-" Arthur jumped. "Oh. Sorry. Don't sneak up on me."

Big Boss looked down for a moment. He hadn't exactly been quiet. This... sensitivity? It wasn't like Arthur at all. Big Boss had to force his arms to stay by his sides. They couldn't afford the obvious weakness of an embrace. "We're going to need to stop for some supplies," he said, meeting Arthur's gaze.

"Great. As though we don't have a schedule to keep." Big Boss nodded slowly and refrained from mentioning that it was Arthur who'd wanted to bring along the extra people that made extra supplies necessary. "Maybe... can it wait until tomorrow? A quick trip into Unirea, or maybe a stop near Bucharest, would really help things. I'm a bit worried about the border crossing."

"It can hold for now. But we're going to need extra fuel, as well as food. It's going to cut the profit margin."

"Fuck the profit margin! There are more important things..."

"I know that. You know that. But the men don't. Ocelot and his people don't. We can't afford to-"

"I'm not in the mood to discuss this," said Arthur through clenched teeth. "Look. We'll stop off tomorrow, after the border crossing is through."

Big Boss nodded. "Right." Arthur's shoulders had pulled themselves up tensely. All his muscles were taught. "You know, I..." But nothing he said would be enough, not this time. What could he offer? "We'll be leaving in a few minutes."

Arthur nodded shortly.

* * *

_**Night 1: Outside Chernivtsi** _

Around 7:30, the lead truck blew a tire. Big Boss waved it to the side of the road and the rest of the convoy stopped at the side of the M14 highway halfway between Mamaivci and Chernivtsi.

"Blew a tire," he called out to Arthur as he kicked his bike stand. "Get a new one?" Arthur glared at the offending tire for almost half a minute before he started to the back of the trucks.

Big Boss shook his head for a moment, then took the jack off of his bike and brought it over to the truck. The hairs on the back of his neck rose at the approach of a familiar presence.

"I see you've planned for every occasion, Boss. Must be difficult on such short notice," said Ocelot.

Big Boss kept his hands on the jack, but his focus was entirely on the other man. "You're no slouch yourself when it comes to missions on short notice," he said quietly. "Howexactly did you rescue Arthur?"

"He was in the wrong place at the wrong time, and they were the right ones for me." Ocelot smiled snidely. "Upset that your second in command couldn't handle a few Reds?" Big Boss frowned. "Or is it just because you weren't there to save him personally?"

Big Boss winced. Had he known that Ocelot was hiding in the shadows, he'd never have embraced Arthur, no matter the circumstances. Even in front of theirown men, it was a rarity. It was just so great a weakness- if the world knew he cared for someone, the world would take advantage of it. Hadn't they already? And the world didn't even know ... He simply couldn't afford to show affection. He'd just been so worried... and the look on Arthur's face had been so frightened... "I don't know how you did it," he said quietly, "but if I find out you-"

"Boss!" Big Boss turned his head quickly to see Arthur running towards him. The other man didn't say a word until they were close enough that none of the men would hear him. He glanced at Ocelot for only a moment before he started. There was a spark of fear in Arthur's eyes that Big Boss didn't like. "Someone's sabotaged the supplies. The spares are slashed, and I don't think we should trust the food." He held up a dead rat. "This guy was in there."

Big Boss glanced at Ocelot, who still wore his lazy, arrogant smile. He had something to do with it, that much was certain. Someone had to go get new supplies before they started out. At this point, he wouldn't be able to trust any of the men except Arthur. Still, it couldn't beall the men... And he wasn't going to leave anyone alone with Ocelot.

"Right," he said, nodding shortly. "We'll stop here for the night. Get the men to get everything out of the truck. Ocelot and I will go ahead to Chernivtsi, restock our supplies and get back. See if you can figure out who did it."

Arthur nodded. "Right. We'll need to plan a new route, too," he said, cf3 his face turning down into a worried 0 "This deadline is really tight. Any delays are going to affect it, badly."

Big Boss bit his lip and looked at Arthur. He wasn't one for mincing words: they might not make it in time. Telling that to Arthur though...

Ocelot put a hand on Arthur's shoulder. "Don't worry. We won't miss the deadline. You've got me with you. And I never miss." Arthur smiled gratefully at Ocelot.

What the-? Big Boss stared in surprise for a moment at Ocelot's familiar manner and Arthur's strained smile.

No. Absolutely not. There was no way he was going to let Ocelot get anything out of his partner. Big Boss scowled and walked between them, not coincidentally pushing Ocelot's hand away. "Come on, we have to get everything ready," he said a bit too forcefully.

"Right," said Arthur. "I'll go supervise. Shouldn't take more than a few minutes to get everything out."

Big Boss shot Arthur a half grin as the other man walked away before turning to Ocelot. "What's your game?" he asked softly without any preamble once Arthur was out of earshot.

"Game? This is no game, John," said Ocelot, his smile belying the serious tone of his voice.

"I go by Big Boss. And I'm absolutely not tolerating anything that will hurt him more. Now, what do you want out of him?"

"Jealous?" asked Ocelot with a small laugh. "All I want is to be on the winning team. And that's yours."

"That's the biggest load of crap I've heard since I went into business for myself. If you think you're going to hurt any of my people, you'll find that I'm a worse enemy than I was the last time you faced me."

Ocelot smiled with his eyes half closed. "Good thing I'm not against you now, Boss."

"If you want information, you will ask me for it," Big Boss growled.

It was almost disconcerting. They hadn't seen each other in years, and Big Boss had liked it that way. They hadn't met in battle or anywhere else since Big Boss found out what had happened to all the heads of science on Big Boss' bases before Arthur. How many of Big Boss' scientists had Ocelot killed? His partner hadn't liked it either when he'd told him, so for him to insist on keeping the man who'd masterminded the execution of his predecessors, he either hadn't recognized the nickname shalashaska yesterday or thought it was a different man. Or, in the worst case scenario, he was simply so distracted by the situation that he hadn't noticed.

It had been a long time since Big Boss hadn't had a proper second in command to count on. He wasn't used to this... second guessing Arthur's decisions...

"Just get in the truck," said Big Boss finally with a shake of his head to clear it. Arthur looked to be supervising the removal of the last few pieces of equipment.

Big Boss watched Ocelot open the door, then went to Arthur's side. "Remember what we said before about trusting others?" Arthur nodded. "It goes double now."

"Okay, Boss. I'll try to find out who did it while you two are gone."

"Thanks, Arthur." Big Boss looked up at Ocelot, who was adjusting the rear view mirror. He clapped a hand onto Arthur's shoulder. "Separate sleeping arrangements tonight. And see if you can get a watch rotation. You take first, I'll take second, split the rest of the men as you see fit."

"Great, organization again. Thanks, Boss."

Big Boss rolled his eyes and gave Arthur a grin before going to the front of the truck and getting into the driver's seat.

"He's tense, isn't he." Ocelot leaned back in the passenger seat.

Big Boss glanced at Arthur in the mirror. There were signs of tension in the straight-backed way he was giving orders, in the lines around his eyes that Big Boss could tell he was trying to hide, and in the pulled up shoulders. "All missions are hard," said Big Boss quietly, readjusting the rear-view mirror as he spoke. "And this one's got some added difficulties for everyone."

Ocelot leaned back. "You don't seem to be having problems with it."

Of course he was. Any mission Arthur had trouble with, he had trouble with. He just couldn't show it to the men. As a high ranking officer in the Russian army, Ocelot should have known that backwards and forwards. Strike that, hedid know it backwards and forwards. So he was saying it for some other purpose...

Ah. He was looking for a tell. He wanted to know how much difficulty Big Boss was in because of the situation. He forced himself to relax completely. "And you are?" Big Boss gave a half-smile.

Arthur banged on the door. Big Boss rolled down the window. "You're good to go," said Arthur. "And... come back soon. Okay?"

Big Boss met Arthur's eyes and held the eye contact. "Don't worry, Arthur. Is there enough light from the supplies to make camp?"

Arthur shrugged. "We'll make do." He gave Big Boss a strained smile. "Go on."

Big Boss rolled up the window and pulled back onto the highway, turning the headlights on. Ocelot took one of his guns out of the holster and began turning it around on his finger. Big Boss said nothing, but kept half his mind attuned to where the gun was pointing while he drove.

After several minutes, Ocelot got bored of playing with just one gun. He pulled a second out.

"Who're you showing off for?"

Ocelot paused and the guns rested on his fingers for a moment before he started twirling them again. "He isn't in your league, is he," said Ocelot conversationally.

Big Boss glanced at the other man. Ocelot was staring through the front window as though he had no real interest in the answer to his question. There they were then. Each was going to pretend they had no interest. "Emmerich isvery good at what he does."

Ocelot paused again for a moment, then put the guns away. "He says you're a band of mercenaries." Big Boss nodded cautiously. "So what's your price?"

"We're good at what we do," said Big Boss with no little pride. "We choose the price based on the cause and the need. And what the client can afford, of course."

"So is this one about the cause or the money?"

Big Boss was silent for a moment. "Didn't you check your intelligence before you... saved Emmerich's life?"

Ocelot leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes. "Do you think the world doesn't know he's your lover?" he laughed. "Even if I didn't know, do you think I'm some sort of idiot and you could hide it from me? He's not in your caliber," said Ocelot with contempt coloring his tone. "Ifyou can't hide it, do you really think he could?"

Big Boss grit his teeth. So the world knew they could control him through his partner. "Tell me something I don't know," he mumbled.

"How much do you think it'd take for him to sell you out?"

Big Boss stiffened slightly. "A lot more than you've got to offer him, Ocelot."

"I think it wouldn't take much at all." The voice was grating on his nerves. "I think he'd sell you for a song if he thought he would be recognized by the world. You've given him everything he's got, but you haven't given him that."

"You haven't done your homework. He doesn't want that anymore." Big Boss leaned into the plastic seat and readjusted his grip on the wheel. "He's notjust a scientist anymore. He's not going to be controlled as easily as you think."

"Yes, because soldiers and officers are so much more difficult to deal with than scientists," said Ocelot condescendingly. "You and I both have experience dealing with all the levels of this... deceptive world."

"Hm." Big Boss shook his head. "You're worse than I am. Do you even know what loyalty means?"

"Loyalty. What a quaint concept, when we all betray our countries." Ocelot laughed. "I've heard a mercenary judges a man's worth by his price and his value. Where does loyalty enter the equation?"

Big Boss growled. Chernivtsi was rising on the horizon. They had to finish restocking quickly. He couldn't be back with Arthur soon enough.


	13. The Blind Men Shout

_Money often costs too much - Ralph Waldo Emerson_

**Night 1: Outside Chernivtsi**

The area around Chernivtsi's section of the M14 highway was fairly heavily forested. The trucks couldn't follow them off the road at this point, so Arthur had the men set up camp not far from the shoulder in a place where the trees were not particularly dense. They'd set up as many tents as they could, but the sabotage had been extensive: only six of the tents could be set up once the lack of poles and ripped canvases were taken into account.

When they'd finished that, he'd had the men start a fire, which was even now turning into a good bonfire style blaze. Since he wasn't going to check on the nuclear material before Big Boss came back, he sat down cross-legged on a tarp with all the maps in his lap. He sat there for a good fifteen minutes before realizing he wasn't getting any work done.

He looked back at the trucks and shook his head slowly. He wasn't going to be able to concentrate on finding a better route through the Middle East while half his mind was wondering which of the men had sabotaged things.

He put the maps aside.

"I never got an introduction to those three men who came with Ocelot," he called over the fire. "Everyone's got a travel ration or two in their packs. Let's take a break." He waited for a few moments as the men nodded agreeably, then a few moments more as the hard rations came out of the packs. He left his own alone. The things tasted like _crap_.

"So, we'll all introduce ourselves. My name is Arthur Emmerich. I'm Big Boss' lieutenant, and in our army, that means I'm second only to him. So remember: when you're talking to me, I'm as 'sir' as any of the other officers you've met," he said with a smile. A few polite laughs sputtered miserably into the air. "So, you. Ocelot's man. What's your name?"

"Vitaliy, former spetznaz, rank of Lieutenant." Arthur nodded and stared at the man. Clearly a grunt, he had none of the sparkle in his eye that young up-and-coming officers had. His blond hair looked more like a dirty red in the firelight.

"Edik," said the tall man next to him. "I come from the regular army." This one did have a certain glimmer in the back of blue eyes that were very slowly scanning the area. Arthur marked him mentally as someone to watch.

He looked at them all carefully as they introduced themselves. Garabed, the third of Ocelot's men, seemed as dull as Vitaliy, and his brown hair and stolid Russian figure was as nondescript as they came.

Schluter and Dirgham introduced themselves next, almost completing each other's sentences. Schluter's red tufts of hair were as different from Dirgham's untamed mane as could be, but the men apparently shared a mother.

Perez finished his introduction with a sly question. "What's the cut going to be, with these three extras on board?"

Sasaki beside him chimed in. "We're already being paid too little for this mission." Several of the others nodded along.

Arthur put them both in the troublemaker part of his mind. He and Big Boss were already out of pocket on this mission. "The most dangerous part of the mission is over," he said slowly, "but the lengthy part is just beginning. Their cut will be less than the rest of you."

"But still, ours will be lower?" said Sasaki.

Arthur frowned. Not even a full day into the mission and they were having problems with money? "We'll still have enough to pay everyone," he said quietly. "And you know Big Boss has never left anyone high and dry."

None of the men looked very happy. Arthur's frown deepened. A man worried about the money wasn't likely to sabotage the mission when the outcome of _that_ would be no income. "We're on a tight schedule, as you all ought to know. We need to be _in_ Baghdad in less than five days. If we aren't there in time, no one gets paid."

The men mumbled to themselves and several glanced over at the flat tire. If he was lucky, they were all associating the end of the mission with the money. The saboteurs weren't exactly tipping their hands.

"So. Um. What's it like, fighting for Russia?" asked Wagner, a very young recruit they'd picked up from Germany a few months back.

Arthur tuned out as the conversation turned to the lighter subjects of death and destruction for the love of one's country. It was the kind of wide eyed question he'd asked of soldiers eight years ago, and it had ceased to have any real meaning to him.

He picked up the maps. There had to be a faster way around the mountains after Istanbul... If only they'd been able to book passage on a ship across the Black Sea... There just weren't roads in the area...

"But what about his reputation as a torturer?" said Garabed, pulling Arthur's attention back. "We all know why he got that nickname." Edik raised an eyebrow but nodded.

"An ocelot's just a cat," opined Schluter.

"Not _that_ nickname," said Vitaliy. "He's known as Shalashaska." Even Arthur had a confused look, and he knew enough Russian to work in the country. It certainly wasn't a _standard_ Russian word. "It means prison."

Arthur shivered as a cold breeze passed by them. "So how did he get that name?" he asked.

"It's just a rumor," said Edik uneasily. "I don't think he'd like it if we talked about it..."

"Afraid of your unit leader?" asked Dirgham. "Can't be very good if he can only get respect through fear."

"Oh, he's good," said Edik. "Too good. Some say he sold his soul. Some say he didn't _have_ to." Arthur raised an eyebrow. He hadn't thought the Russians put much faith into gods and devils. "I heard that he put over fifty men in prison in Afghanistan to get at a single man who was fighting a battle outside the compound. I heard he shot every one of them in both elbows. Then he gave them each a gun and told them they could shoot themselves if the pain got too bad... I heard the screams from inside the prison drowned out the gunfire on the fields of war."

Arthur opened his map wide in front of him and rubbed his forehead. It was _far_ too similar to recent events. The countries were different, the aggressors changed, but...

"That's not what I heard," said Vitaliy slowly. "I heard he got the name for his work in Russian prisons. He had over a hundred rebel fighters at one point. His specialty was information. He didn't kill a single man: he left them in their cells without food, but said he'd give them bread when they talked. When the first man died, he fed the body to the rest of them. They started talking soon after that."

Arthur held back a sigh of relief. Rumors, that's all they were. Good men wouldn't do either of those things, and Ocelot couldn't be as bad as that: he'd rescued Arthur, after all. Even self-interest could have been achieved by other methods, if Ocelot was as sadistic as that. No, these were the idle conversations that men had about their superiors sometimes, building people into legends. A grain of truth probably resided at the heart of it all, but this was simply too far.

"I heard it was five hundred, fifteen years ago, and he was looking for a single man. He wasn't even a soldier, just some scientist." Garabed grinned. "Heard he killed them all when they couldn't tell him where the guy was."

Five hundred now? Arthur raised an eyebrow. Ocelot had probably killed _one_ man, and it had probably been the one he was looking for.

"So what's Big Boss like?"

Arthur held back a smile and turned his head down to the maps, pretending to try another route around the mountains.

"Always pays on time," said Dirgham. Arthur frowned. Ocelot's men came up with fish-stories about 500 tortured men, and Big Boss' own handpicked soldiers came up with an easy statement of fact? _Well_. At least they were being realistic.

"He's pretty good with a gun, too," said Schluter.

"Pretty good? He can knock off a target at 500 yards without a sight," said Sasaki. "And he does it under heavy fire, too. He's the best cover a man can have."

Arthur smiled softly. That was more like what they should be saying about Big Boss. The man was a living _legend_ , the units he trained in demand all over the world.

"And 'sir' over there? Seems too much of the distracted kind for a real soldier." Arthur bit his lip and poked a finger at Istanbul a few times.

"Oh, he pays more attention than you think," Dirgham said quietly. Arthur looked up in time to see Schluter nod at his half-brother's words and wondered exactly what they were thinking.

"Sir?" Sasaki said, getting Arthur's attention. "I'm sure the food is fine. No one wants just rations."

Arthur stared at the man for a moment. What kind of a man would want to eat the food from the truck after seeing the way everything else had been damaged? The kind that had sabotaged it and knew there was no risk, perhaps. "I'm sure no one wanted to sleep outside either," said Arthur finally. "We're not going to risk it."

How long had Sasaki been a part of the team? A year, perhaps two? He hadn't shown any disappointment with any of it before, but now he was worried about his cut of the money, possibly sabotaging the mission...

"Sasaki, over this way." Arthur stood and waved the man to him with one finger then walked away from the rest of the men around to the other side of the trucks. He leaned against one of them and watched the traffic going by, bright lights zooming in the darkness.

Sasaki stood at attention beside him.

"Is there a problem, sir?"

"Thought we could have a chat. Cigar?" Arthur pulled one out of his pocket.

Sasaki nodded and took it. "I didn't know you smoked, sir."

"I don't. Big Boss insists I carry them." He grinned, pulled a lighter out of another pocket and lit the Cuban, biting down the nausea. "How are things going, Johnny?"

"Fine, sir." Sasaki made a show of scratching his head.

"I was wondering, is there's a problem? You haven't been so worried about the money before, as long as you were paid."

"Sir. Just saving up." Arthur raised an eyebrow. "I found myself a girl," said Sasaki with an embarrassed shrug. "She wants me to settle down and so on..."

Arthur nodded. "Have kids, that sort of thing?"

"Yeah."

"Children are... the most important thing," said Arthur quietly.

"I'd name my son Johnny. My dad was named Johnny Sasaki too."

"Really?" Arthur sighed. Apparently, that was the extent of things. He licked his lips as the cigar smoke drifted toward him on the breeze. "We ought to get back to-"

"Did you know he was a Russian?"

"A Russian named Sasaki?" Arthur shook his head in confusion. Wasn't that name Japanese? Oh, why did it matter anyways?

"Oh, yeah! And a soldier. But he wasn't there for me."

"I see," said Arthur hurriedly. "We have to get back over there, though, and-"

"I just can't understand it. I'll _always_ be there for my kids. I won't let being a soldier get in the way of being a father." Arthur felt his throat close up and he choked. "I mean, it's so important to pass the torch and teach them to read our messy and sad history-" The sound of a horn burst out through the night.

"Thank God," muttered Arthur.

"What was that, sir?"

"Nothing, Sasaki! I have to get over there to help Big Boss now. Go see what the rest of the men are doing." Arthur didn't bother to wait for Sasaki's reply before hurrying over to the supply truck. Big Boss jumped out of the truck, apparently happy to be back with the rest of the troops. "Boss, you need any help with-"

The kiss was unanticipated but definitely nice. Arthur closed his eyes and let Big Boss do the work for a moment before he pulled back to question the man. First 'separate sleeping arrangements' and then a passionate kiss?

But Big Boss' eye was squarely on Ocelot. Arthur's eyes narrowed. "What's your problem?"

"I don't have a problem," he growled. "But you and I are going to sleep in the supply truck tonight."

Arthur stared at Big Boss for a moment, but the other man refused to meet his eyes. "Fine, we'll talk about it later." Just what he needed. Arthur had enough problems. He _didn't_ need to deal with everyone _else_ having breakdowns around him. "Men want something to eat."

"I'll get it," said Ocelot.

"No," said Big Boss quickly.

"Oh for-" Arthur rubbed his forehead. "I'll help him. You need to go over there and act as a leader, not a delivery boy."

Ocelot smiled none too pleasantly. "Don't worry, Boss. Your second in command will watch me." Big Boss said nothing. "You trust him, don't you?"

Big Boss scowled and still said nothing. Arthur felt his teeth grinding and had to consciously release the tension. "Of course he trusts me."

"It's _you_ that I don't trust, Ocelot," said Big Boss.

Arthur's hands found themselves in tight fists suddenly. " _I_ endorsed him," he growled.

Big Boss looked at Arthur finally. "Yeah, you did." He took a deep breath and closed his eye. "He certainly isn't stupid," breathed Big Boss before looking at Arthur again. "All right. You win. How many supplies did we salvage?"

"Six tents. The men are going to be cramped in them tonight, or they'll have to sleep under the stars. If we'll be in the truck, that should free one of the tents."

"And did you find out who sabotaged things?" Arthur shook his head. "Right." He frowned. "The sandwiches are probably best for now."

Arthur waved Big Boss away. He could certainly deal with simple things like what food to get for the men. He didn't like this: Big Boss was treating him as though he didn't have years of experience as a leader, as an organizer, and as Big Boss' own partner. Arthur was being treated like some rookie.

A tap on his shoulder nearly made him jump out of his skin. "Don't _do_ that!" he said loudly.

Ocelot pulled his hand back. "Do what?" he asked, his eyebrows narrowing.

Arthur looked at Ocelot for a moment and bit his lip. "Make some noise, will you?" Arthur walked past the man. "I don't like people sneaking up on me."

"All right." Ocelot's spurs clinked suddenly as the other man fell in beside Arthur. "You know, I don't think he's going to come around," he said in Arthur's ear.

"Big Boss? Well... he doesn't trust people very easily. Not like when he was younger. He sees conspiracies behind everything."

"But you don't?"

Arthur opened the back of the truck. "Sometimes, things are clear. If someone holds a gun to your head, you don't need to look in the shadows."

"Hm." Ocelot inclined his head momentarily. "If he can't trust me, I'll have to leave."

"Don't worry about that," said Arthur. "He'll come around. He _always_ comes around to see my side of things."

Ocelot raised an eyebrow while Arthur got into the back of the truck, then followed him. "He loves you that much, does he?"

Arthur picked up a sandwich packed near the edge and made a show of examining it. "Love's a funny word that no one uses, don't you think? No one really _needs_ to use it. Here, hold this." Arthur grabbed a bag from under the food and handed it to Ocelot. The other man held it open with a mildly inquisitive look on his face. "Well, actions speak louder than words, don't they?"

"If you say so," he said noncommittally.

Arthur stayed silent for a while and just picked the sandwiches out of the box and dropped them into the bag. "They'll be waiting for us at the fire," he said finally. Ocelot nodded and motioned for Arthur to go first.

Arthur took a seat next to Big Boss when they got to the blaze. Big Boss' eye was once again fixated on Ocelot, who seemed to be trying to blend himself into the shadows to avoid the older man's gaze while at the same time passing sandwiches to his left and right.

Arthur elbowed Big Boss a little more forcefully than he had to.

Big Boss looked at Arthur with a sour expression on his face before his eye began to roam the rest of the men. Arthur offered him the food. He ignored the conversation from the soldiers as they ate. Big Boss was silent.

When they'd all finished, Big Boss stood up. "We have a long day tomorrow to make up for today's delay. I don't think I should need to tell you all to sleep lightly. If anyone knows who damaged our equipment, I expect you to report it to me or to Emmerich. Got it?"

Nods around the fire answered him. Ocelot shrugged and crossed his arms as Big Boss walked to the supply truck.

"Sleeping arrangements. We can't have Ocelot or his men sleeping separately tonight, so I'm sorry but you won't have the chance to choose your own. Ocelot, you're with Menezes. Vitaliy and Barajas, Edik and Sasaki, and Garabed and Jameson. The rest of you can choose your own bunk mates." Arthur stared at the men a moment longer before he followed Big Boss.

By the time he got on the truck, Big Boss had already laid out a sleeping bag on one of the only bare sections of floor. "So. You going to tell me what's going on between you and Ocelot? And don't say nothing. We both know you're overdoing things."

"I don't like him, Arthur." Big Boss turned. "And I don't think you're operating to your usual high standards." Arthur shook his head. " _You're_ the one who needs to talk, Arthur. It wasn't a good situation, and I got you out as soon as I could, but you can't-"

"Not fast _enough_. And we're not discussing this."

"You're jumpy. You're trying to make command decisions and you're obviously not thinking enough about them. You had a damned _flashback_ to it last night. You _need_ to talk."

"I _don't_ need to _defend_ myself to you right now," said Arthur through clenched teeth. "All right, maybe I'm not at my best. Maybe they got to me more than you think they should have, but I'm _not_ you, I _haven't_ gone through training to keep me sane during torture, and I'm _still_ your second. Unless you'd rather have Ocelot, since he's the most qualified."

Big Boss shook his head and ignored the last statements. "It's because you don't have that training that you need to talk about it. How can you not see that?"

"I'll _talk_ , but not _now_. We have to keep going ahead, not sit around looking back. And right _now_ what's important is the way you can't trust Ocelot. The man saved my life. _I_ owe him, so _you_ owe him."

"We don't owe him a thing if he set you up to get shot at," Big Boss said quietly.

"Why would he do that?" It wasn't exactly a question, more an exasperated statement.

"Because _they_ can't infiltrate us."

"Not this again. The Patriots... And maybe _they're_ the reason the Chernobyl operation went bad? _They_ wanted a nuclear disaster in the Ukraine? Is that it?"

"Don't be an idiot, Arthur. You can't just-"

"Oh, let's just go to sleep. I'm tired of the excuses and the idiotic reasoning about why you're right and I'm wrong."

They stared at each other for a moment. "You aren't thinking straight," said Big Boss in a slow, tired voice. "You're really not. So let's forget this conversation happened and go to sleep."

Big Boss lay down. Arthur ran a shaky hand through his hair before doing the same. He looked to his side and saw Big Boss' eye closed. "I... I love you," Arthur said quietly.

"Just go to sleep," said Big Boss.

Arthur sighed heavily and closed his eyes. Just before he fell truly asleep, he thought he heard the sound of metal clinking outside the truck, but it was clearly just his imagination.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shalashaska - Russian sites about MGS use this spelling, but there is no dictionary entry for it in any of the R-E dictionaries I checked, so maybe Kojima was lying in the booklet


	14. Grey Shrapnel Flavored Chewing Gum

We will not forgive you for making us kill your sons. - Prime Minister Golada Meir

Day 2: Outside Chernivtsi

In combat situations, it is important to find your way to a light sleep in a very speedy manner. Likewise, waking has to be instantaneous: the first sound needs to leave you alert and prepared to face any threat that might be around. The sabotage was close enough to a combat situation to bring Big Boss to awareness in under a second when the first rays of sunlight began to filter into the supply truck.

Big Boss stretched himself out slowly, pulling each muscle in turn and letting his mind drift. It went first and foremost to Ocelot. If he really meant what he said, if he really wanted to join with them, then what then? How could anyone figure out whether or not he was still allied with the Philosophers? He shook his head. They weren't the Philosophers anymore. So was Ocelot allied with the Russian sect, the Chinese, or the Americans?

And then there was Arthur and this damnable situation. He wasn't in this to be a weapons dealer for anyone, but he didn't have a choice. If only the American government hadn't given in to Iran's demands...

Nothing worked anymore... None of it was right.

He looked to the side and brushed some hair away from Arthur's sleeping face. "What are we going to do, Arthur?" he asked quietly. No response was forthcoming on any of the issues. The man was dead to the world. "How do I help you...?"

But Arthur was still asleep. Big Boss kissed him gently on his lips. When that didn't wake him, Big Boss smiled slowly. "Arthur, wake up," he said quietly into the other man's ear and blew. Arthur's mouth twitched, but his eyes stayed closed.

He put his hands under the second sleeping bag on Arthur's chest and moved down until he reached the bottom of his lover's shirt, then pushed his hands under the fabric and moved his hands back up over the wiry muscles hidden beneath. "Come on, Arthur... we're on a mission here..." Arthur still didn't react. Big Boss began to ghost his hands along Arthur's sides until it was obvious that the other man was holding in laughter. "I'm not going to stop until you wake up."

Arthur blinked a few times and Big Boss pulled his hands away. "All right, all right, I'm awake," said Arthur through some light laughter. He sat there catching his breath for a moment. "We have time for breakfast?" he asked.

"Yeah, but-"

A banging on the metal side of the truck had both Big Boss and Arthur training guns at the heavy cloth backing before a moment more had passed. When Ocelot pushed the heavy fabric away, Arthur put his gun down. Big Boss kept his up, his eyes narrowing.

"What do you want?" he asked quickly.

"There's a problem, Boss," said Ocelot quietly, his attention caught somewhere off to the side.

Arthur sat up, all humor gone. "What's wrong now?" He moved to get up, but Big Boss put his arm out to stop him. Arthur threw Big Boss a dirty look which was ignored.

"Three of your men- I don't know their names- are dead."

"What?" Arthur pushed Big Boss' arm away and rose to his feet quickly, putting the safety back on his gun and stuffing it into his belt. "Where?"

"The bushes over there. Come on, I'll show you-"

"No." Big Boss cut him off with a sharp hand motion. "Arthur, go check on it. We'll join you in a minute." Big Boss lowered his weapon and stood up, watching as Arthur hopped out of the truck with another annoyed backwards glance. "Why don't you come up here, Ocelot?"

"I didn't kill them. You know that," said Ocelot, looking uneasily at the truck. Big Boss smiled humorlessly and waved two fingers towards himself. "I'm a revolver man. They don't come with silencers."

"The Nagant works with silencers. Give me your guns," said Big Boss, walking forward slowly. "And get in here. Unless you'd really like this chat where anyone can hear it."

Ocelot climbed onto the truck reluctantly and pulled his guns out, handing them to Big Boss by the barrel. Big Boss nodded to Ocelot, acknowledging the show of trust. "Still using SAAs?" Ocelot nodded slowly, his eyes fixed on his guns. It was a bit of a redundant question. Big Boss had known what weapons Ocelot was using long before he'd handed them over.

These didn't have the threading necessary for a silencer.

Still. "How do I know they're your only weapons? You might even have used someone else's weapons to kill those men." Big Boss watched Ocelot carefully.

"I didn't kill your men," said Ocelot earnestly, meeting Big Boss' eye. "I wouldn't do that to you." Big Boss raised an eyebrow. "I have ambition, you know. I might have had a lot handed to me, but I've always been good enough to keep it."

Ambition? What did ambition have to do with anything? Big Boss covered his confusion by looking at the bullets in the guns and stayed quiet.

"If I can't be the best, I can at least be second."

Second best...? "Arthur's my second," said Big Boss automatically.

"A scientist with some muscles," scoffed Ocelot. "He's not a soldier. He doesn't even know how to lead. He's malleable and weak." Big Boss stared coolly at Ocelot, daring him to continue. "I'd be a better choice, and I've got more command experience than he has."

He wanted Arthur's position? Big Boss almost laughed. He wouldn't... couldn't have a second who was a soldier like Ocelot. He needed a second perspective on things that only someone like Arthur would ever be able to give him. Besides, Arthur was entirely devoted to him in a way he doubted Ocelot could possibly understand.

"You might one day become third. If you want power, go back to Russia."

"I can't do that."

"You killed a few men on your side and let Arthur escape from Chernobyl. So what. If you can't work your way back into Mother Russia's good graces, you aren't as good as you think," said Big Boss with a dismissive shrug.

"I'm better than-" Big Boss pointed one of the guns at a point above Ocelot's shoulder, which seemed to make Ocelot reconsider his words. "Look, I can't go back. Neither can my men. I've made a... a mistake," he said quietly.

Big Boss looked at Ocelot again. His body posture had changed to a mix of mild fear and embarrassment. "You think I'll believe that one?" He tossed a gun up into the air and pointed it at Ocelot when it came down.

The other man flinched. "You think you scare me?" he asked quickly. Big Boss blinked. Ocelot had flinched and tried to hide it with a quick verbal rejoinder.

Big Boss considered that. It was very difficult to train oneself to show those kinds of unconscious actions. Not impossible, of course, but few people were skilled enough, or dedicated enough, to put those kinds of small details into their body languages to appear more tense than they were. And then to hide it... It seemed genuine...

The way he was tensely trying to hide the fear that Big Boss could see just under the surface... afraid of rejection? If the Patriots had given him an ultimatum, infiltrate Big Boss or else, that could explain it too. "What did you do?" he asked.

Ocelot looked away and moved his jaw around with a pout on his face. "I was supposed to sabotage Mir before it went up. The US government told me to do it. I failed. Worse than that, I was discovered in the subsequent investigation." He crossed his arms. "And they abandoned me."

"But you still have friends enough to keep you from being killed outright."

"Yes," he said, his voice bitter. "And they'll all hide me away for the rest of their days, because they can't let it be known that they let a double agent get that high." He let out a rather shaky breath. Well, shaky for him. Most men wouldn't even have noticed the subtlety. "You were in this situation. None of the governments wanted you, they wanted to hide you away and pretend you didn't exist. They don't like you." Ocelot didn't need to say who they were. Not to Big Boss. Ocelot turned to him, his face covered with a bravado that masked desperation, now that Big Boss was looking beneath the surface. "You can't turn me away."

His vague implications about Arthur were simply because he wanted the other man's position, which Big Boss wouldn't give him even if Arthur weren't around. So he wasn't perfect. And he was arrogant and rude. The man needed to change. He could be turned into a loyal and trusted soldier. He needed a proper example. He couldn't have had many...

"We cannot become what we need to be by remaining what we are..."

"What?"

"Never mind." Big Boss shook his head quickly and made his decision. It was against his better judgement, but he had been in Ocelot's position. So had Joy. Big Boss didn't like how that turned out. "If I find out you had anything to do with the sabotage or the killings, I won't let you live." Ocelot stared at him. "For now, you're... well, you're too experienced to be a grunt, aren't you... You'll have some limited command." With those words, it was more than just Arthur forcing him to let Ocelot tag along, and they both knew it. He turned the guns around and held them out for Ocelot.

Big Boss held them for just longer than necessary when Ocelot reached to take them back. The younger man twirled them around before putting them in the holsters. Big Boss nodded to him before he got out of the truck, deliberately presenting his back to Ocelot as he glanced around for Arthur.

No bullet was forthcoming, but then, neither was Arthur. Ocelot got off the truck and started walking towards the bushes, so Big Boss decided it would be prudent to follow him. The rest of the men were slowly waking up around the camp. Big Boss ignored them for the most part, since none were overtly acting as though they knew what was going on.

When they reached Arthur, he was sitting cross-legged on the ground with his head in his hands. Big Boss put a hand on his shoulder in concern. Arthur took a short breath. "I should have seen this coming," he said after a moment. "They were complaining last night about the money. Talking about the cut going down with the addition of Ocelot's men."

Big Boss looked at the three dead men. "Everyone makes mistakes, Arthur," he said calmly.

"That's no excuse. They're our men, and our responsibility. First sabotage, now this?" He stood up. "There's no clue as to who did it, so we're stuck traveling with a man who'll murder his fellows. And I don't even think we've got time to bury them properly."

"We probably shouldn't leave them here," said Ocelot. "Someone will find them. We're close enough to the road. This schedule you two want to keep... if someone finds them before we leave Romania, the officials will lock us in for a day or two."

"Great," said Arthur with a tone of disgust. "As though we can afford it either way..." He shook his head and looked almost accusingly at the dead men before he looked back up. "Can you say a few words, Boss?"

Big Boss frowned as he looked at the men. "What were their names...?"

"For crying out loud- Jameson was with us for almost two years! Oh, never mind, I'll bloody well say something. Do we even have shovels?" The words came out in a constant stream, barely a pause between them.

"We picked a few up in Chernivtsi," said Ocelot, "in case we needed them in the desert."

"I'll get the men to dig some shallow graves. You two had better... I don't know, there's nothing you can find out, all the men except Ocelot's have standard guns... and if there's a silencer, whoever did this will have tossed it by this evening," Arthur complained, running his hand through his hair.

Big Boss nodded.

The two remaining men watched him as he left. They could both hear Arthur as he started shouting orders at the men. "This mission... he's very worried about it," said Ocelot finally.

"All missions are important," said Big Boss quietly, staring through the bushes in concern.

"He's like this all the time?" Ocelot laughed quietly. "He can't hold it together when there's a problem. Just because he's your lover doesn't mean he needs to have the power of being your second in command."

Big Boss turned quickly and pinned Ocelot to a tree, turning the man's grin into a look of sudden shock. "That's enough. You don't know anything about him or this mission," he said in a low, dangerous voice. "You're a newcomer. Stop questioning his authority or I will leave you here."

"You know I'd be-"

"Questioning him is questioning my judgement to leave him in command. Are you questioning me?"

He looked like he wanted to go for his guns. In a way, Big Boss still wanted him to go for his guns. Shooting someone would make things a whole lot easier just now. But instead, Ocelot backed down with a quiet, sullen "no."

Big Boss let go of the man with a grunt.

"Obviously, Arthur and I are exempt from suspicion, and we'll take as a given that you didn't do it." He glanced sideways are Ocelot who nodded cautiously. "How did you find out?"

"This is where everyone's been going to the bathroom all night."

Big Boss knelt down next to one of the dead men. "Execution style shooting," said Big Boss quietly. "Any of your men have experience with that?"

"No, of course not. Yours are the mercenaries worried about money. Look at them before your look at the soldiers I brought with me."

Big Boss considered this for a moment. "Do you have a problem with mercenaries? That's what you're trying to be."

Ocelot looked away. "There's no loyalty to this. No honor, no glory, no recognition... It's just a violent, dangerous job. Unfortunately, it's the only one I'm qualified for..." He sighed. "That's the problem with Americans. You don't even see a problem with it."

"It's a big change, isn't it," said Big Boss sympathetically. "I wasn't very happy when I started this. Sometimes, these things are necessary. We can't let ourselves become murders and anachronisms. There's always a place for war."

"And a price for it?"

Big Boss laughed. "Everyone can be bought, Ocelot. The politicians, the soldiers, the people... Mercenaries are just more honest about it. Never forget that."

Ocelot stared at him for a moment before grinning widely. "Do you really think it's my people?"

Big Boss shrugged and looked down at the ground. "Maybe, maybe not." He leaned down and picked up a spent .45 bullet casing. "What kind of rounds do your men use?"

".38s," said Ocelot leaning in. "Ha! Must be one of yours."

"It isn't that easy. We use .40 S&W."

"We'll search them, then. Mine and yours."

Big Boss put his hand to his head. That would take time that they really didn't have, and it was again likely that whoever had done it would throw away any extra bullets and the gun before evening. Convenience wasn't an excuse though, either way. "I want you to do it," he said finally.

Ocelot gave a rather lazy salute before he rushed off.

Big Boss gave another look to the three men. While two had certainly been shot with an execution style, one of them appeared to have fought the murderer. Instead of a shot to the back of the head, he'd been shot three times: twice in the chest and once in the head. Big Boss knelt next to the red-head. The man's gun was out of its holster with the silencer on, lying near one of the other two bodies. Another shell casing lay nearby.

Big Boss pursed his lips. He took the three guns. There was no point in burying perfectly good weapons, after all.

"Boss." Arthur's voice came through the bushes, and Big Boss stood and walked over to Arthur. "You should say something about this."

"While they're digging, Arthur?"

"Yes," came the terse reply.

Big Boss looked at the men. None looked like a person who'd just killed his fellow for no apparent reason. He took a breath. How to approach this... "Gentlemen, we have a problem. Yesterday's sabotage has become the deaths of three men." Several of the men looked suspiciously at their fellows. "We cannot be afraid of each other for it," he said quietly, making them strain for his words, "but we must be cautious. Anyone with information about these events must tell me."

Big Boss glanced at Arthur. "All watches will be done in teams tonight. No one goes anywhere without a partner. Understood?"

The men gave a half-hearted agreement. Beside him, Arthur frowned. "Attention! Is that clear?"

They stood straighter, and one or two actually saluted. "Yes, sir." It wasn't in unison, but it was damned well better than the previous version.

"We're almost finished with these," said Arthur to Big Boss in a subdued tone of voice. "They don't have to be deep." Arthur frowned. "I... wish we had time for a better burial."

"I wish we knew who did it," said Big Boss, staring at the men. "Have any of them said anything strange recently? Done anything suspicious?"

Arthur gazed at the men himself for a moment. "No," he said finally.

"Sirs?" Edik came forward and planted his shovel in the ground. "The graves are finished."

"Good. We have to get moving. You, you, you!" Arthur pointed to three of the men. "Go back there, drag the bodies into the graves."

"Arthur, I can say a few words, okay?"

"No, you can't. You never bother to know them. I've told you before, they're not employees. They're supposed to be family."

Big Boss glanced over at Ocelot and raised an eyebrow at Arthur. "You can't possibly expect me to start thinking of him as family."

"No, I-" The bodies were dragged in front of them. Arthur's eyes fell on each one in turn, his face falling a little more each time. "I just don't like it when family ends up dead."

Big Boss took a sharp breath. "Arthur-"

"Don't." Arthur took a step away from Big Boss and stopped the men with an upraised palm. "These men were our brothers, and someone destroyed them."

"Sukarno. He grew up in Indonesia. He fought beside all of us for half a year. His sense of humor was never well developed, but he managed to share his sense of honor with us all. Someone destroyed that." Arthur nodded and the first body was put into one of the shallow graves.

"Zhou was a Chinese national originally. His first battle was fought in Tiananmen, after the death of his adoptive father. He fought against the Chinese Gang of Four in words and actions before joining us in 1982. He burned papers every April 5th to mourn our dead. Someone destroyed that." Arthur nodded again and the second body fell heavily into a grave.

Arthur walked to the third body and looked at it for a moment. "Jameson was a Catholic Irishman. He fought with us for almost two years. He worked with the IRA before coming to us. He vowed to defend all of us to the very end. And someone destroyed that vow. Someone destroyed that."

The third body followed the others.

"These men were our brothers. And someone destroyed them. I want to know why."

Big Boss stepped forward and put his hand on Arthur's arm, pulling him back. "Arthur," he started quietly. "We need to-"

"I found it!" said Ocelot suddenly from across the camp. Arthur stared over at the other man. Ocelot walked over quickly, a gun in his hand. "Johnny Sasaki," he said. "This was in his pack. I knew it wasn't one of mine," said Ocelot with a satisfied smirk.

Big Boss nodded thoughtfully while Arthur stared at the Canadian-made ten round gun. "We'll keep him tied in the supply truck."

"Why not just kill him?" asked Ocelot, surprised.

Arthur's fist clenched beside him. "Digging another grave would take too much time," said Big Boss. "Besides, we can't-"

Arthur turned suddenly and launched himself at the man in question who was still holding his shovel. "You bastard!" His fist connected with Sasaki's jaw and floored the man. "How dare you?" Arthur followed up with another punch, this time connecting with the man's stomach.

At this point, Sasaki seemed to realize he was getting the worst of a beating. His hands tightened and his eyes widened and he kicked Arthur in the chest. Arthur pulled out his gun. Sasaki went for his.

Big Boss moved in behind him and pulled his arm so that the shot went straight up into the air, then pulled the gun away. Ocelot shot Sasaki's gun out of his hand.

Arthur tried to pull away from Big Boss' grasp, but he held firm. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" he whispered into Arthur's ear.

Ocelot kept his gun trained on Sasaki and walked up to Big Boss and Arthur. "Relax, John. I'd have done the same thing if it was one of my own men."

Arthur went completely still. "You going to be okay, Arthur?" The other man nodded shortly and Big Boss let go of him. "Ocelot, tie him up and put him in the back of the supply truck."

"But I didn't do anything," protested Sasaki. "He attacked me!"

"Shut up, Sasaki," said Ocelot, pushing him toward the trucks, his revolver still out.

"Arthur-"

"All right, get everything packed up!" said Arthur to the men. "We need to make it to Bucharest tonight or we aren't going to manage this."

"Arthur-" Big Boss tried again.

"So get going!" He rushed away from Big Boss without even acknowledging the older man. "Ocelot, wait up!"

Big Boss scowled and decided to oversee the final clean up.


	15. See Through

_The fastest way to succeed is to look as if you're playing by somebody else's rules, while quietly playing by your own - Michael Korda_

**Night 2: Outside Bucharest**

Big Boss waved his hand over his head and pulled over to the side of the road. It was almost midnight, but at least they had made up most of the time according to the new schedule. The border crossing had gone smoothly, thanks to Ocelot's knowledge of USSR military protocols. Even with that help, it had taken almost 12 hours of driving to even start to catch up, and tomorrow was going to be almost as grueling as today had been, especially since they were going to be camping out again tonight.

He kicked the bike up. "Arthur! Ocelot!" he called to his second and his... whatever it was Ocelot was acting as for him. Ocelot came over quickly, while Arthur was taking his time. Big Boss gave him an annoyed look when he finally deigned to come over. "Ocelot, I want you to oversee the camp setup. We'll need to move Sasaki outside too."

"And what do you want _me_ to do?"

"We need to look at the maps, do some planning."

Ocelot nodded and started to move off. "Hold up, Ocelot," said Arthur. Ocelot turned. "I think _Big Boss_ got the ordering wrong. He wants _you_ to look at maps with him."

"What?" Big Boss stared at Arthur, annoyance warring with confusion on his face. "You're the one who knows the maps. Why would I talk about them with Ocelot?" Arthur glared accusingly at Big Boss, who shook his head. "Are we arguing about something?"

Ocelot nodded and waved his hands. "I'll just go," said Ocelot.

Big Boss grabbed Arthur's arm and pulled the other man away from the soldiers taking equipment out of the supply truck. "What is this about?"

"I don't know, _John_ , what do you think it's about?"

"John?" Big Boss looked at Arthur. Now he really _was_ annoyed. "Why the hell are you calling me that?"

"Maybe you should have thought about what you wanted people to call you _before_ you told _Ocelot_ , a man you pretend you don't even _like_ , your damned name!" The soldiers were staring at them even from as far away as they were. Big Boss heard Ocelot bark out a command, and they pretended to turn their attention elsewhere.

"Lower your voice, Arthur."

"You've never even told _me_ your name, and I _sleep_ with you," said Arthur, more quietly but, if anything, with _more_ indignation than before. "And you told him your damned name?"

When had Arthur found out about- Ah. Ocelot had slipped. Or more likely, let it out on purpose to see if he got a reaction. "Fuck..." he breathed. "Arthur, it's not my name."

"You... you _liar!_ " Arthur stared at him with his mouth open and his eyebrows drawn together. "How dare you lie to me!"

"Arthur, I don't have a name. No one has a name out on the battlefield." Big Boss shook his head and grinned. "No one except you," he said lightly, hoping it would ease the tension.

It didn't. " _Everyone_ has a name," said Arthur. "You just can't be _bothered_ to learn them."

"For God's sake... Arthur-"

"Don't you _Arthur_ me," he growled. "And if you want someone to _sleep with_ _fuck_ tonight, you'd better just ask Ocelot, because I'm going to sleep alone." He shoved Big Boss aside angrily and began to walk back.

"Alone-? No you're not!" Big Boss grabbed Arthur's arm and spun him around. Alarm bells were ringing in his head. If Ocelot let it 'slip'... He was planning something. God damn it! Arthur could be killed, and for what? "There was too much damage, Arthur, think about it! All the damage to the supplies. Sasaki _couldn't_ have been working alone."

"Let go of me, or I swear I'll-"

"Arthur be reasonable, you can't-"

Arthur pulled his gun out and aimed it at Big Boss. "At this kind of range, I can't _miss_ ," he said through clenched teeth.

Big Boss' reaction was immediate and instinctual. He grabbed Arthur's arm and twisted it up. The gun flipped away, but Arthur wasn't giving up: he grabbed Big Boss' gun from out of its holster. Big Boss kicked the back of Arthur's legs, causing them both to lose their footing. On the way down, Big Boss pulled the gun back from out of the younger man's hand. Then he concentrated on twisting around so that Arthur wouldn't take the brunt of the fall. By the time they landed on the ground, arms and legs tangled together, the gun was pointed at Arthur's left shoulder.

Arthur winced as he landed, but the fury and open defiance hadn't left his eyes. "Don't you _dare_ question me on issues of security!" said Big Boss angrily. Arthur glared at him. "You aren't sleeping alone, and that's final. I'm not going to let you get shot to death because you're pissed off at me!" Arthur turned his gaze pointedly to the gun. Big Boss threw it away in disgust. "We're sleeping in the supply truck again tonight."

Arthur closed his eyes and clenched his teeth, his jaw moving back and forth. Big Boss rolled off of Arthur and stood up, then dusted himself off and offered a hand to his lover.

Arthur opened his eyes and pushed himself up off of the ground. "You're worried about security? All right. We'll deal with it for security's sake." Big Boss nodded, pleased with himself for winning the argument, even if it _had_ been through a show of force. "I'll sleep with Ocelot tonight."

Big Boss' mouth dropped open and he shook his head. "You can't sleep with him."

Arthur smiled angrily. "You trust him enough to give him your name, you should be able to trust him enough to let him protect me." He laughed sharply. "Tell you what, I'll even let you _threaten_ him, if it protects your fragile ego."

"But-" Big Boss gaped at Arthur. "I can't believe you'd want to sleep with him."

"I can't believe you think I'd want to sleep with _you_."

Big Boss couldn't seem to close his mouth. He just kept looking at Arthur, horrified fascination battling the urge to throw up. Really, were those feelings at odds?

Maybe Ocelot would say no.

"Ocelot!" he called out. He didn't take his eye off of Arthur. Arthur was staring at him too, the challenge reading loud and clear in his eyes.

What the hell was he supposed to do about this?

"Sir," said Ocelot. Big Boss broke eye contact with Arthur and looked at Ocelot. He had on his familiar sheen of bravado. The man so rarely took it off...

"Well, Arthur, this is _your_ cunning plan. Go ahead, ask him."

"Fine, then, I will." Arthur took a deep breath and let it out. "Big Boss is afraid that Sasaki might have been working with someone, so he decided that we need to sleep in pairs. But I'm not going to sleep next to- whatever his name is- so. Any objections to sharing a tent with me?"

"Fuck," Big Boss turned away, his breathing getting heavy. Arthur's gun was still on the ground.

"Hm. Fine," said Ocelot. Big Boss could hear the smug smile in the tone of voice. It took almost everything he had to remember the spoiled, angry child he'd heard that morning, the boy who needed saving.

He walked over to Arthur's gun and picked it up, then went back to Arthur and handed it to him. The man had his own insufferably self-satisfied sneer on his face.

Big Boss turned to Ocelot. His mouth tasted sour, and he was quite certain it showed through to his face. "Anything happens to him, Ocelot... and I won't worry about whether _you_ did it, or someone else did. You're responsible."

"Yes, sir," said Ocelot with a snappy salute.

Big Boss shook his head. The alarm bells were ringing louder in his head than ever they had before, and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it.

* * *

_**Night 2: Outside Bucharest** _

Arthur's pathetic whimper woke them both up.

Ocelot stayed where he was with his eyes closed as Arthur sat up and fumbled beside himself. His breathing was coming shallow and quick. When he turned on the flashlight, Ocelot opened one eye and fixed it on the other man.

Arthur's face was as pale as the moon, his eyes were as hollow as the sky, and he was shaking as though the stars were about to fall on him. "Are you alright?" asked Ocelot after a moment.

Arthur looked to the side. "I woke you? Sorry." His mouth was slightly open, and the light was making a very fast zigzag pattern against the side of the tent. "I'll be fine in a minute."

Ocelot opened both his eyes, took a look at Arthur, then closed them again. Arthur's shuddering breaths precluded sleep, but Ocelot had experience faking it. "Don't leave the tent," he said.

The other man was quiet for a while. The light was still on. "Ocelot?" Ocelot opened one eye again and looked at Arthur questioningly. "Are you really a torturer?"

Ocelot shrugged. "I do what has to be done to get information. Sometimes it's necessary."

"Why?"

"People don't want to give up secrets for free. Anyone can beat torture, but it gives them an excuse to talk about what they want to say anyways. It's not really all that bad."

Arthur crossed his arms, and the light moved to the top of the tent. "That's not true. They don't want to talk..."

"Hmph." No sleep tonight. Ocelot sat up and stared at Arthur. "They think that, but deep down inside, they do want to tell me their secrets. Torture can force the tongue to move, but in the end, it cannot force the truth. People lie to themselves all the time, Arthur." The other man shivered. Ocelot looked at the cut on the side of his face and the burn marks peeking out from under his shirt. "You were tortured and you broke," he guessed.

Arthur glanced at him. "No, of course not," he said confidently. His fingers twitched. Ocelot stared at him without moving a muscle. Arthur fidgeted uncomfortably under his gaze. "It was more watching it," he faltered.

Ocelot nodded. "Squeamish?" he asked.

Arthur looked up at the light. "It was hard to watch," he said slowly, "because they were like family. But I- it's not... They died for me. Willingly." Arthur shook his head. "I can't understand that."

"So you let them die for nothing?" Ocelot smirked at Arthur.

Arthur's mouth turned down and his brows drew together. "It's not that simple," he spat out. "It's not like I-" he cut himself off.

Ocelot smiled lazily at the man. "So how do _you_ get information?"

"Logic, mostly." The change in topics calmed him minutely. "Plan out the questions, trip up whoever you're talking with, then threaten them. It usually works. And when it doesn't... well, I've made great strides in creating a truth drug that actually _works_ without side effects."

"No side effects?"

Arthur smiled uneasily. "Actually, I haven't managed no side effects yet. It gets the truth, but there's an eighty-seven percent mortality rate."

"Sounds like a nerve agent."

"It's based on one," agreed Arthur.

Ocelot stared. Even _he_ wasn't sick enough to use nerve agents. "How can you be squeamish about torture and experiment with nerve agents?"

"I don't _test_ things on our own people." Ocelot watched him as his face went from annoyed to angry. "Usually." Ocelot raised an eyebrow at the muttered comment. "Well how would _you_ feel," he asked in a louder voice, "watching Edik or Vitaliy being killed while you were chained down?"

Ocelot shrugged. "I wouldn't be happy. But I wouldn't blame giving information to the enemy on their deaths." Arthur looked down. "So how did they get to you?"

"I don't think I want to talk about this..."

Ocelot closed his eyes briefly and mentally calculated the risk. "Do you know-" He reached over and took the light from Arthur, pointing it into his face. The startled, almost frightened look on Big Boss' lover's face was mildly arousing. "I think you do."

"Give that back," he said urgently, but still quietly. Ocelot kept it pointed into Arthur's eyes so that the man couldn't see anything besides the light.

Ocelot moved to Arthur and put an arm around his shoulders to keep him from moving away. "Talk to me," said Ocelot, his voice dripping compassion while pouring the light into Arthur's face.

Arthur's eyes were glazing over and his breathing was getting faster. "I... Boss...?"

"Tell me what you told them," Ocelot said gently. Arthur shook his head. "You know what I'll have to do if you don't talk to me, Arthur. Don't make me do that."

"No, don't..." Arthur closed his eyes and tried to turn his head away from the light. Ocelot could smell the fear rolling off of the man suddenly. Hallucinations and flashbacks were common with the subjects of most of his best work. After a while, he didn't even need to touch them: their own minds started to attack them.

"What's your name?" Ocelot hissed it into Arthur's ear, pushing his head back toward the light and pulling his eyes open with the same movement.

There was barely any hesitation. "Arthur Emmerich."

Ah, this torturer had been good at his job, at least as good as Ocelot himself was. "What's your mission?"

"Nuclear... to Iraq... my fault, no... no, leave him alone... I'll do it, I'll do it... please..." The man was begging. Ocelot's lip curled up.

"Stop babbling, Emmerich. You're as weak as I thought. You're not good enough for him." Ocelot laughed a little. "I'll show him you're not," he whispered suddenly to himself.

He pushed the man to the ground, then turned the flashlight off and put it to the side quickly. "Arthur!" he said sharply. "Wake up!"

"What-" Arthur was gasping in air by this point. "I thought... you..." He seemed to make a decision to try to breath more normally, and his breathing lengthened into heaving shudders of breath. "Just another nightmare."

"Another?" Ocelot backed away.

"I-" Arthur clutched his head. "I'm sorry I woke you," he said distantly. "I think I'd better see Big Boss." Arthur sat up.

Ocelot put his hand on Arthur's shoulder. "Hold on, hold on. Calm down, Arthur."

Arthur had lost his struggle with his breathing and was starting to hyperventilate. "It's never been that bad..."

"Arthur, look at me." Ocelot put himself in front of Arthur, capturing the other man's eyes. "In... Out... In... Out... Breathe with me, Arthur." Ocelot kept his breathing stable and allowed Arthur to follow his lead until he had stabilized his own breathing. "Tell me about your dream, Arthur," he said.

"No... I'm disturbing you..."

Ocelot shook his head at Arthur. "Unit needs to run efficiently. How can it do that if the second-in-command is having nightmares he can't talk about?" Arthur didn't look convinced. "Tell you what. You tell me about your nightmare, and I'll tell you about how he told me his name."

Something in Arthur hardened. Ocelot smiled encouragingly.

"It's not just the dream," Arthur said softly. "It started about a month ago. I was on a mission with a small team. We had taken on some extra men from the CIA. We usually refuse outside help, but the clients wanted these specific people on our team: a demolitions guy and... well, I'm not exactly sure what the other one was for. I know what he ended up _doing_.

"Big Boss- he was off on a parallel track. The demolitions guy was with him, and the second man we had with us. He poisoned all the food one night, or at least, that's what I think happened. At any rate, we all went to sleep one night and were woken up the next night by screaming.

"They softened us up for... I don't know how long. Standard stuff, according to what I've read: siren noises blaring, hosing us down... eventually, they took the men away. I don't even know... it was like time lost all meaning... just like in dreams." Arthur laughed nervously. "When they came to get me, it was almost a relief.

"But then they put me in this room... I could see all of them. All the soldiers who'd fought with me. And then they asked me questions. That part wasn't too bad... It was painful, sure, but... They didn't want to really harm me. I was supposed to be used against him. Wouldn't happen if I was too badly hurt... I didn't say a word, so after a while, they started in on the men.

"It was worse. They didn't care if one of _them_ died. I tried not to show any emotion, but I- I'm not good enough. One man they stabbed to death with _pins_. Another guy, it was nerve gas. He pleaded with me to make it stop. Another one was electrocuted. You know how much that smells? And all the way through, someone was whispering behind me: you're their leader, you'll have to stop the suffering eventually." His eyes were glazing over again.

"Arthur," said Ocelot quickly. "It's okay. Big Boss came and saved you, didn't he."

Arthur grunted a grudging agreement. "But not until three weeks had gone by. I don't even think he noticed anything was wrong. And by then it was too late."

"You'd given them what they wanted?" Arthur nodded. "What _did_ they want?"

"Oh, you know, secrets," said Arthur evasively. "It doesn't matter _what_ I told them, it matters that I opened my mouth at all."

"True enough," said Ocelot.

"The nightmare was basically that. The whisper. And then, somehow, it was _you_." Arthur laughed. "Imagine that. I thought you were the torturer... or is it the other way around?"

Ocelot nodded. "But, you know, I wasn't there," he stressed.

"Of course not." Arthur gave him a strained smile. "Well. Now you know about my nightmare. So how do you know his name?"

Ocelot smiled mercilessly


	16. A Colorful Rag

_God save me from my friends. I can protect myself from my enemies. - Martin Luther_

**Day 3: Bucharest to Istanbul: Bulgaria-Turkey Border**

When the convoy ground to a halt in front of him, Arthur maneuvered his bike around the trucks and headed from his position at the tail to the front. Big Boss had taken point earlier in the morning, and Ocelot had moved to the front of the group, stopping beside the older man. The other men on motorcycles had been told to hold their positions.

"What's going on?" asked Arthur.

"They've been ordered not to let anyone out of the country," said Big Boss in a low voice, his eyes watching the patrolmen at the post.

"I'll get us back on our way," said Ocelot, throwing a smirk at Arthur.

"Ocelot, wait-"

Arthur threw Big Boss a dirty look. "What can it hurt to try?" Big Boss looked ready to object, but Arthur's mounting anger seemed to stop him from saying another word. Arthur was glad for _that_ , at least.

"I doubt he's told you," said Big Boss under his breath, "that he's wanted for treason."

"Bulgaria is _not_ a part of the U.S.S.R., and neither is Turkey."

"He tried to sabotage Mir. Isn't that one of your pets?"

Arthur shook his head. It was true, he liked the idea of a space station, but what he _really_ wanted was to get enough support that Big Boss would let _him_ lead a team of scientists and engineers into space. All he wanted from Mir was to help quantify the benefits. "I'm sure he was under orders," Arthur said, dismissing the comment. It wasn't like it was something _their_ team had been protecting.

"I told you," said Ocelot in Russian, "I am on a diplomatic mission from the Soviet Union. We have treaties for just this reason."

"And _I_ told you that we have orders not to let anyone from Russia through to Turkey," said the gate guard.

Big Boss' hand was hovering over his gun. Arthur casually pulled his bike back a step and crossed his arms. It was a technique he'd learned that gave him access to the gun but didn't leave everyone knowing that's what he was doing, at least, not if they were unobservant. Big Boss moved forward a little bit at the same time, placing himself between Arthur and a large number of the border patrol.

Ocelot shook his head. "Here," he said. He pulled a paper out of his pocket. "Call this man. He'll authorize us. He's just in Sofia."

The man looked suspicious but took the paper and inspected it. "I can't just call up one of the highest levels of government-"

"You just give him my name. Look, it's to an internal phone."

The man stared at the paper. "You really know the head of-"

"I wouldn't be stupid enough to tell you to call him if I didn't," he said. The arrogance was showing through again, and the border guard was looking a little bit nervous. "Oh, all right. Give _me_ the phone, and _I'll_ place the call."

"This is highly unusual, sir, however, _I_ will call," said the officer, keeping the paper close to him.

Ocelot nodded and walked back stiffly as the man behind him went to the phone. When he got midway between Arthur and Big Boss, he stopped, turned around, pulled out his gun and fired. The guard fell to the ground and all hell broke loose.

Big Boss took out two more before Arthur had even taken his gun out.

"Get down!" yelled Dirgham from behind, as he and Schluter ran forward. Arthur pushed the bike away and rolled to the ground. Two soundless shots bounced off of his motorcycle from behind, and then the area in front lit up with the force of six grenades.

More officers were coming. Arthur pulled his gun out, aimed, and fired several times, catching two of them in the chest and another one in the arm. Without any warning, he felt himself being flattened to the ground and another three shots rang out above him.

"Fuck," said Ocelot. The man kept firing above him. Arthur felt something wet falling on his cheek. Wet and sticky. It was probably red, too.

Fuck.

Arthur stayed down.

Dripping on his cheek. The bullet would have torn through his _head_ if Ocelot hadn't pushed him down. Arthur took a moment to look for Big Boss, his usual savior. He was firing slightly off to the side, defending the supply truck.

The goddamned _supply truck_.

Arthur closed his eyes and waited out the battle, since he couldn't properly aim and fire his gun while Ocelot lay atop him. When the last shot was fired, Ocelot rolled off of Arthur a bit more slowly than an uninjured man would have. Arthur sat up to have a look at the wound, but Big Boss reached Ocelot first, grabbing the man by his light brown jacket and shaking him.

"What did you think you were doing? You've compromised this mission! You fired shots at those men for _no reason whatsoever_! How _dare_ you shoot without orders?"

Ocelot's head was bouncing from the force that Big Boss was using. Arthur pushed his commander's arms away from Ocelot, who was clearly too incapacitated to help himself. "And what the hell do you think _you're_ doing?" Arthur countered. "This man is injured. Whether you approve of his conduct or not, he's a member of _our team_ and as such, he deserves more consideration than this."

"How can you say that?" Big Boss' expression was livid. "If he's injured, he's brought it on himself. And I would _bet this cargo_ that he's not even injured."

Arthur stared at him, gaping and speechless for almost thirty seconds. "How _dare_ you..." Big Boss held his eyes while Arthur's breathing quickened. "With how important this is... you joke about it?"

Big Boss shook his head, anger drifting away. "Arthur, I didn't mean it-"

"You think this is a _joke_? You think my research- my _life_ \- _our family_ is a fucking _joke_?" Arthur's hand curled into a fist.

"Of course I don't, Arthur. Calm down." Big Boss stepped back and glanced down. "You want to hit me, fine, I deserve it, but not in front of the men. I can't let you."

Arthur shook his head slowly. Big Boss wanted him to back down? "No way," he said through clenched teeth and took a step forward. This time, Big Boss held his ground. Arthur swung his fist around, trying to hit Big Boss in the jaw. Big Boss caught it and twisted. Arthur fell heavily on his back.

In a heartbeat, Big Boss was down straddling him, pinning his arms and legs to the ground. "Calm _down_ , Arthur," he said simply.

Arthur struggled, trying to wrench his arms out of their sockets, his head off of his neck, _anything_ so long as he could get a hit on Big Boss. It didn't take long before he'd tired himself out to the point where he _couldn't_ fight anymore. "You bastard," he said between his panting breaths.

"It's all right, Arthur. We'll do this together. We'll fix this. We can do anything together." Big Boss leaned in to kiss him, so Arthur quickly turned his head aside.

Sometimes, he wondered what the man was thinking.

Ocelot was looking at them with his hand holding his arm and a very slightly puzzled look on his professionally blank face. The blood was starting to find ways around his fingers. Just because Arthur didn't _get down_ fast enough. "Fine," said Arthur shortly. "You're in command."

"That's not what I want to hear, Arthur," Big Boss breathed into his ear, not letting him up. "This is the second time. I can't lead you by force. Not you."

Arthur grit his teeth against what he wanted to say: _Right now, you can't lead me at all_. "It won't happen again," he said instead, the anger dripping from his lips like poisonous honey. And then, just to drive the point home, "sir."

He imagined that Big Boss was looking at him with horror as he said that. The man slid off of him and Arthur sat up. "Ocelot," said Arthur, "get up. You're going in one of the trucks."

"Fine, I'll go with him. You take point," said Big Boss quickly.

Arthur raised an eyebrow and let his breathing go a little harder. Ocelot watched them warily. "You expect _that_ after you knock me to the ground and sit on me? No, _you_ take point, and _I'll_ go with Ocelot."

"Are you blind or mad? He started this mess, and the way he looks at you-"

" _You_ hit _me_. Don't blame _me_ if you don't like the way he-"

"You _tried_ to hit me," Big Boss hissed through his teeth. "Don't blame _me_ if you can't finish what you start. We are doing this _my_ way or he can stay on the damned bike. For all I care, he can _fall off_ of it between here and Istanbul."

"Don't worry about me," said Ocelot suddenly, clapping Arthur on the shoulder with a bloody palm. "I can take care of myself."

Arthur looked at the man with no little worry in his eyes. "You're sure you're okay with this?"

"I'm not just a soldier, I'm a world-class general. I'm used to keeping my head in difficult situations. Besides, we're wasting time. Give me a bandage, I'll be fine."

He gave a half smile and pulled out one of his guns, flipping it around his finger. Big Boss snatched it and put it in the other man's holster with an angry and impatient frown. "Enough showing off," he said.

Ocelot shrugged expansively- at least, with one side of his body- at Arthur, then followed Big Boss as the older man grumpily kicked Dirgham and Schluter out of the supply truck. Ocelot's hand went back to his bloody arm. Arthur watched them both carefully as Big Boss handed the other man a roll of bandage and nodded his head sharply toward the passenger's side.

Arthur took a moment to look at the men killed in the skirmish. Big Boss' side had fared much better: only Ocelot had been injured, and the Turks and Bulgarians were dead to a man. He forced himself to take a calming breath as he got on the bike and checked to see that everyone was ready to go.

With two such legendary soldiers as Big Boss and Ocelot on his side, maybe they'd manage to pull this off. Even though they were fighting, they were still the best of the best... And if they couldn't, then-

"Let's move!"

* * *

_**Night 3: Outside of Istanbul** _

"Sir, what do you think?"

Ocelot was slowly moving his injured arm in a circle, a frown on his face, across the fire. Arthur was sitting beside the man, watching him with concern shining out of his brown, doughy eyes. Big Boss was watching them both, almost totally ignoring the men around him.

"Sir?"

Who could blame him? His lover was... was...

"Sir?"

He turned his head. "What is it?" he asked sharply. The German pulled back. What was his name? German, German... "What do you want, Wagner?" he asked, consciously toning his voice down.

"We were... talking about guns, sir. You collect the odder ones, right?"

They were going to bother him to talk about _guns_ when his second-in-command was practically _fawning_ over some man he'd just met? Ordinarily, of course, it would be something he was intensely interested in. Good God. Arthur was helping him redress his wounds, paying ever-so-careful attention to the man.

"What about them?" he asked, his eyes barely moving from the scene.

"Edik thinks an MSP is better than a Makarov! Tell him he's wrong."

"Good for different things," muttered Big Boss. "MSP only has two shots, and a reload in battle is nearly impossible. It's a big disadvantage when the Makarov carries 8... but then, the MSP is _silent_. Even with a silencer, you can hear a Makarov."

What the hell was Arthur doing over there? Holding Ocelot's hand? The other man was squeezing gently and Arthur was looking right in his eyes.

"You see?" It must have been Edik talking. "For a special ops mission, the MSP is the way to go."

"Hold on," said Big Boss, turning in annoyance. "The MSP is _not_ automatic and barely has a sight. They wanted it to be silent, so they made it difficult to reload _and_ aim. The ammunition is problematic, since few other military guns use .38 bullets. It's fine if you're just going to use it once in a mission, but what happens if the mission has a problem? You're stuck with a useless piece of metal. The barrel is so small that it's only good for _extremely_ close range firing. The Makarov gives you a fighting chance. It has enough of a barrel to work as a proper medium- and short-range weapon for distances of 20 meters. With a silencer, it's quiet enough to take down a squad without too much notice. The _MSP_ is good for an assassin who doesn't know how to hold on to a sniper rifle; the _Makarov_ is good enough for-"

A stray glance back to Arthur and Big Boss' mouth shut in an instant. They were kissing. No, _Ocelot was kissing Arthur_. It _wasn't_ mutual. Arthur pulled back, smiled a bit uneasily and shook his head. Oh, _God_ , that wasn't revulsion in his eyes, it was more like an apology.

"Sir?" Edit asked, following his gaze.

"The... Makarov is better for any kind of an all-purpose... mission," said Big Boss. "Excuse me," he said, standing. He walked around the fire and coolly took a seat beside Arthur. "Arthur. Ocelot."

"Sir," said Ocelot politely.

Arthur glanced at Big Boss and turned back to Ocelot without so much as a word.

So that was the game? Fine. "How's your arm, Ocelot?"

"I can't feel my hand properly," he said quietly.

"I'm sure you'll be juggling dangerous weapons like a proper _circus animal_ soon enough." Arthur and Ocelot formed nearly identical annoyed expressions, but neither said a word. "And if not, maybe you'll get a new job as a _lion-tamer_. Whips and chains." He emphasized the chains part. Big Boss would do it, chain him up somewhere so that he couldn't get access to Arthur. Who did he think he was, kissing Arthur like that?

"You aren't helping anything, Boss." Arthur closed his eyes and ground his teeth together. Ocelot said nothing, but the superior look that stole onto his face said _more_ than enough.

"You're right. He's not going to be a lion- _tamer_ , he'll be the _lion_. Locked in a cage." Like most of the people he tortured. Like any other dangerous animal.

"What exactly are you trying to say?" asked Arthur, his eyes still closed.

Big Boss smiled at Ocelot. "Nothing, Arthur."

"Good." He rubbed his head. "As I was saying. It might be for the best if you left us for the rest of this mission and see to your arm." Big Boss smiled and leaned back triumphantly. "You can meet up with us at our main base." Big Boss didn't like that part quite as much, but at the base he'd find an excuse to send Ocelot away.

"Am I in your way?" challenged Ocelot. "I can still fire a gun. I've never left a mission unfinished before, and I won't leave this time either. It isn't _that_ bad an injury."

"If you're just trying to impress us, it isn't needed..." Arthur said quietly. "The feelings are appreciated, but..."

Ocelot shook his head.

"Well. All right then," he said with a frown.

Big Boss smiled slightly. Arthur wanted him gone now. This was good. He put his arm around his lover's shoulders. "We've got another early morning tomorrow to get back on schedule. Come to bed," he said.

Arthur shook his head and opened his eyes wide to stare at Big Boss. "You think you can have whatever you want," he said, with a laugh. "You think you can just order me to bed? Like I'm some- child?"

Big Boss stared at him. Hadn't he just said _no_ to Ocelot? Hadn't he just tried to get the man to leave? What kind of mixed messages was he trying to send?

Arthur stood up. "You're right about the schedule. Good night." Without another word or glance at him, Arthur went into one of the tents.

Ocelot laughed. "You know what? Lions and ocelots are almost brothers," he said with an arrogant grin. "You'll have to try harder than _that_ next time." He got up. "Guess I'll head off to sleep too," he said with a poisonous grin and wink combination. He gave Big Boss his strange, three-fingered salute with one hand as he walked backwards, then turned and disappeared into the same tent as Arthur. Big Boss stared after the pair and wondered where it had all gone so horribly wrong.

* * *

_**Night 3: Outside of Istanbul** _

Arthur yawned and sat up, glancing at Ocelot as he did. At least _some_ people knew when not to push their luck. Of course, _some_ people were suffering what might prove to be career ending wounds without any support from what should be top level officers. So what if Big Boss hadn't wanted Ocelot on the team? He was on the team now.

"Going somewhere?" muttered Ocelot, his eyes still closed.

"Gotta piss," Arthur said back, throwing the covers back.

"Hold on, I'm getting up." Arthur rolled his eyes. "If something happens to you on my watch, he'll kill me no matter where I run."

"Doubtful," said Arthur.

"You think so?" asked Ocelot blandly, sitting up.

"He'd... it's all for show, nowadays," Arthur sighed. "Once upon a time, he'd have made sure I was okay. What was his first thought today? _You_."

"I was, wasn't I," Ocelot mused. Arthur gave him a sour look. "You might be right. Still, I don't think I'll take the chance. In _this_ state," he gave a half-nod to his arm, "I think he'd out-perform me."

Arthur looked at the wound again. It was covered by a bandage, but he'd seen the damage: the bullet had grazed the bone, shorn through Ocelot's muscle, possibly even damaged the tendon. They should have brought a medic with them on this mission. "Thanks for saving my life," said Arthur.

"What's that, the third time you've thanked me?"

Arthur said nothing for a moment, unzipping the tent flap instead. Ocelot was almost as closed off about taking credit as Big Boss was. "Coming, then?" he asked quietly.

Ocelot nodded and they both left the tent, Arthur leading the way to some bushes. Ocelot turned his back while Arthur did his business as quickly as possible. "So how long has he not cared?" asked Ocelot quietly as they started to move back.

Arthur sighed lightly. At least they weren't talking about- He cut it off. "He doesn't like failures, you know? The whole... I let them get the best of us. I couldn't handle things without Big Boss around, and now he sees it more clearly than ever."

Ocelot stopped, Arthur following suit. "I don't think you're a failure, Arthur," said Ocelot, putting a tentative hand on Arthur's shoulder. Arthur closed his eyes for a moment.

"I got you _hurt_ , didn't I? I can't even protect myself..." Arthur shook his head. "It doesn't matter what I have on my mind. I can't _afford_ to let it distract me on a mission. But I can't stop it."

"That doesn't mean..."

"It _does!"_ No one seemed to understand it. It _mattered_ , it was _jeopardizing_ the mission, and it wasn't _working._ "Look, you put your hand on my shoulder and I have to stop myself from jumping! What kind of man am I? I don't deserve anyone's loyalty right now, I even left my-" He closed his eyes, bit his lip and cut the strain of thought _off_. He didn't even have control over his thoughts. How could he really have control over the men in this camp? "Everything's falling apart," he said finally.

Ocelot's arm moved to pull Arthur into a hug. "If I were him," he said quietly, "I'd keep you safe."

Arthur brought his own arms up awkwardly and returned the gesture. It was nice, just standing here with someone who didn't think he was a failure, who wasn't judging him for mistakes and unsolved problems... "You're already doing that," said Arthur with a strained, but overall thankful, smile.

Ocelot shrugged humbly. "It's my duty to-"

A loud noise had the pair separated in an instant and they hurried toward the trucks. Arthur took a moment to take in the scene while Ocelot looked around. One of the dark metal containers had been knocked off the truck. Arthur walked over to it and checked the seal; luck was with them. The container wasn't damaged.

"Look what I found," said Ocelot suddenly, as he walked toward Arthur, pushing Schluter in front of him. "One of your men was skulking around by himself."

"That's against orders," said Arthur with a frown. "Where's your brother?"

"He's asleep, sir. I just had to... go to the bathroom," he said lamely.

"Oh?" asked Arthur skeptically. "And you thought that next to the cargo was the best place to do it?"

"I thought I'd check on things. Make sure everything was okay," said Schluter.

"Let me question him. I'll find out what he was really doing." Ocelot smiled. It was really a cruel sort of smile, without any warmth reaching his eyes. "Maybe this is the partner Big Boss thinks Sasaki had."

"Absolutely _not_ ," said a voice from behind the truck. Big Boss stepped into view. His eyes were narrowed as he stared at Ocelot unflinchingly. "I will not have you torturing my people. We can get information in other ways."

"How?" demanded Ocelot.

"I'll talk to him _myself._ "

Arthur sighed. Ocelot might be the first thing on Big Boss' mind, but he was still aggressively hostile towards the other man.

"I'm not hiding anything," said Schluter, looking slightly panicked.

"We can't keep going with this kind of suspicion, Boss," said Arthur. "Let's just leave him here in the morning."

"Arthur, we planned this with just enough men. We can't-"

"We have an extra: Ocelot. We'll be fine."

"And what about Sasaki? We _don't_ have the extra men, Arthur. And that's final." He nodded at Schluter. "Go back to your tent, and stay there until morning."

"Yessir." The man saluted and practically ran off.

"This isn't a good idea," said Arthur unhappily. "We have problems. Sabotage, murder... we need to crack down on _all_ suspicious activities."

Big Boss shook his head and closed his mouth on a reply, giving a hard look at Ocelot. "If you'd excuse us."

Ocelot gave Arthur a questioning glance. Arthur smiled slightly and waved. Ocelot raised his eyebrows. "All right, Boss. I guess you'll bring him back to our tent." Was it his imagination, or did Ocelot stress _our_ a little overmuch? No... He had to keep his mind on what was important. Big Boss wanted to talk about the mission. That was important, not whether or not Ocelot was stressing random words.

Arthur watched as the other man walked backwards away from them before he turned and walked to the tents.

Big Boss said nothing for a moment, and the moment got longer. He stared at the tents, his one eye narrowed. "So?" Arthur said after the moment had turned into almost ten minutes.

Big Boss turned away. "We have to stop arguing, Arthur." His voice was husky. "I know you're angry, but this can't go on. We have an obligation to the men and the mission."

Arthur shook his head. "I don't want to talk about this right-"

"We're _going_ to talk about it!" Big Boss spun around.

Arthur marched himself over to Big Boss. " _You're_ going to wake your _obligations_ ," he hissed. He stared at Big Boss, holding eye contact until the other man blinked. Arthur looked down. "This whole- situation-"

He didn't know what to say. Big Boss hated him, or at least was apathetic towards him, and Arthur couldn't even blame him for it.

"I know it's hard, Arthur. It's not..." He sighed. "Look, I know you're mad at me, but it isn't my fault-"

"Oh, so it's _mine_?" Why did he have to place the blame? _Who was he_ to place the blame? Other than the commanding officer on the mission, what authority did he have?

"That's not what I'm-"

"I don't want to _hear_ it!"

"Now who's waking the men?" Big Boss mocked.

Arthur shook his head. "I thought you didn't _want_ to argue."

"I don't," Big Boss said quickly. "Arthur. We need this mission to be successful."

"I know the consequences better than you," said Arthur bitterly. "I don't understand why you think you need to tell me. I _know_ this mission has to work. That's why we need to get rid of anything that hurts its chances."

"What about Ocelot? He and I don't get along, and you can see it's damaging the chances of this mission."

"That's _completely different!_ " Arthur said in frustration. "You're _making_ the problem."

"What if," said Big Boss through clenched teeth, "Ocelot's behind the sabotage and the murder? He's the one who found the .38 in Sasaki's things. And there weren't any problems before he showed up."

"No problems?" He stared, his mouth falling open. "I see. A nuclear power plant explosion isn't a problem. Getting only half of what we needed isn't a _problem_. This isn't going to be the end of it, they're going to want more. As long as we're in the Middle East-"

"So we'll move to Africa," Big Boss said impatiently. "I was considering it already. After this mission, we're going to bug out."

"Another decision you haven't even consulted me on?"

"I was waiting until after the mission." Big Boss shook his head. "Arthur... please come to bed with me tonight."

Arthur scowled. "I helped you make this team. I helped you establish the entire _army_ , if you'll recall. Now I have to sleep with you to have any say in this operation?"

"No, Arthur, that's not it at all. It would just make me feel better. Please."

Arthur shook his head angrily. "If you think you're going to take _my_ command because I won't sleep with you, you'd better think again."

"But Arthur-" Big Boss grabbed Arthur's arm. Arthur stared at his hand, staying quite still. It took almost a minute, but the other man eventually let go with a sense of reluctance. "You can sleep where you want," he said finally, sounding resigned.

Arthur bit his lip. The resignation made it sound real, but the truth was, Big Boss didn't want him anywhere near this mission. Sleeping in the same truck was just an attempt to control him, to emasculate him without having to remove the command and delegate it to someone else. "You don't have to pretend, Boss. You made me learn all about politics. I can apply it." He shook his head in disgust. "I'll see you tomorrow morning. _ **  
**_


	17. God is a Bullet

_There are some people that will be deterred by the fact that we have nuclear weapons, but those people are the folks we can deal with anyway. - General Charles Horner_

**Day 4: Istanbul to Develi**

Breakfast was cold, pre-made egg sandwiches again. Arthur sat uncomfortably with Ocelot on one side and Big Boss on the other, each sending glares past him. "Would you both stop that?" he asked finally.

"Sorry," said Ocelot with a grin. Big Boss just grunted.

Arthur looked at them both. "We should be back on schedule by tonight," Arthur said finally. "Proper hotel rooms for everyone."

"Hmph." Big Boss frowned. "Another two days of travel and we'll be finished this mission. And well rid of it."

"I think I'll miss it," said Ocelot, glancing sideways at them both. "This might end up the last mission I go on. A regular soldier can't go on if he can't use both hands."

Big Boss rolled his eyes. "Ocelot, even if I believed you about the extent of that injury, we all know you're not a _regular soldier_."

Ocelot seemed happy enough about that, so Arthur smiled too. It was strained and tired, but it was still a genuine smile.

"So, Arthur. I heard you were a weapons designer," said Ocelot. Big Boss looked at him curiously, and Arthur nodded cautiously, hoping he wasn't about to start another fight. "Anything interesting on the horizon?"

"Oh, well, there's..." Big Boss tapped his shoulder and shook his head slightly. "Right. Well, I could tell him about other people's work though."

Big Boss sighed but nodded. "Once you get him going, though, he can go on about it for hours," he said quietly. "Just a warning."

Arthur paused. "I didn't realize I bored you when I was talking about military technology."

"You don't bore me, but I don't think Ocelot's all that interested in anything other than revolvers. He likes reloading in the middle of a battle. I doubt he'll think much of better automatics and jet-fuels."

"That isn't all I do," said Ocelot with a pout. "I bet I know at least as much about next generation weapons as you do, Big Boss."

"But not as much as Arthur," said Big Boss, closing his eye.

"I'm not a scientist. I'm a military commander-in-chief."

"At any rate," Arthur said quickly, to forestall any more words that might affect them all for the worse, "I'd like Ocelot in one of the trucks again."

"He isn't licensed to drive one, and _we_ need to be outside. If there are any repercussions from that border attack, they're going to happen here in Turkey."

"Because I was so helpful there," muttered Arthur. "Look, I don't want Schluter near the cargo. That goes for his brother too."

Big Boss nodded slowly. "Fine," he said, sounding disappointed. "Set it up. You and Ocelot can take one of cargo trucks, they'll take the bikes."

Arthur looked at Big Boss with a little surprise. They weren't going to fight over this? He nodded uncertainly at his leader, waiting for the other shoe to drop, but Big Boss said nothing else.

* * *

_**Day 4: Istanbul to Develi** _

It seemed they'd just finished the lunch break when he heard the cry from the back of the caravan. Big Boss immediately pulled the group over to the side of the road and turned his motorbike around in a semi-circle that spanned half the road. It was lucky there was almost no one on this particular backwater highway: as it was, he heard a car swerve before he managed to see past the trucks.

"Man down!" he yelled. How in _hell_ had someone managed to fall off their bike? Still, he gunned the engine to get to the fallen man as quickly as he could. He pulled to a stop next to him. "Can you get up?"

Schluter nodded, laboriously picking himself up. It looked like it was mostly bruises that he'd suffered. Big Boss got off of his bike and grabbed the fallen motorcycle, then walked it and the man off the road.

By the time he got there, Arthur and Ocelot were both out of the cargo truck they had been driving. Arthur was staring worriedly at Schluter, who sat down almost as soon as they'd reached the side of the road. Ocelot had a hand on Arthur's shoulder. "He'll have to go in one of the trucks," said Big Boss without any preamble.

Arthur frowned and looked at the man, puzzled annoyance in his eyes. "How did he fall? Did anyone see?"

"I was just clumsy," said Schluter, his face reddening. "I wasn't paying enough-"

"His brother pushed him," said Edik, walking up from behind them, said brother in tow. His eyes were narrowed, and he pushed Dirgham in front of him. His eyes flashed to Ocelot before he said another word. "They were messing around, yelling back and forth about something. I think maybe Dirgham just got too close, overbalanced, and ended up using Schluter to keep himself upright."

Arthur leaned down and angrily grabbed Schluter's arm. "What were you arguing about?"

"We weren't arguing," said Dirgham quickly. "We were just talking about things."

"What kind of things?" asked Ocelot, one eyebrow rising.

"What we're going to do with our cut," said Schluter defensively. "But he got too close. What the hell were you thinking?" There was some real anger in the man's eyes. Ocelot was gazing at him with his lids half down.

"I wasn't trying to knock you over. I just haven't ridden a motorbike in a long time."

Big Boss studied them carefully for a moment. Schluter's eyes were furious, and his hands were bunched up in his clothes. There were slight red stains forming around them; he'd probably gripped the handlebars too forcefully when he'd gone down. He was lucky not to have suffered serious injuries. He hadn't been wearing much in the way of leather gear under his Turkish military uniform.

His brother hardly looked contrite, Edik's hands cooly keeping him in place. Dirgham tried to shake them off, but Edik stood stonily, his eyes moving between Arthur, Ocelot, and Big Boss himself, waiting for the command to release him.

"You'll have to go in the trucks," he said grudgingly. It wasn't an ideal situation, but it would keep them from killing each other.

"Boss?" Arthur said, his teeth closing on the word. "I will repeat what I said this morning. We cannot afford to keep troublemakers, whether they're doing this on purpose or accidentally."

Big Boss didn't fail to notice Dirgham's sharp glance: he simply didn't do anything about it. The truth was, Arthur wasn't considering things fully. If the two brothers were left here, they might go to the authorities to try for a reward that would slow the group more than anything else. The pair might end up shooting them all as they drove away. And furthermore, "I've never abandoned anyone for an accident in the middle of a mission. If you want them gone, you'll have to prove it wasn't an accident."

Arthur shook his head slowly and looked at Ocelot, who simply shrugged back. "I still don't want them in the trucks."

"Arthur, you put Ocelot in one because he got hurt." Big Boss kept himself from grimacing and laughing at the same time. Turnabout was fair play, after all. "It's only fair that we do the same for this man. Besides, we can't have the men having accidents behind us."

"It would slow us down," said Ocelot reasonably.

Arthur looked at Ocelot and nodded.

Big Boss closed his eyes for a moment. It damned well shouldn't _hurt_ so much for Arthur to be taking someone else's advice. He was _glad_ that Arthur was seeing things logically, but why did it have to be from what the show-off, arrogant... _ex-spetznaz_ had to say? And why didn't he flinch when Ocelot touched him? And why in _hell_ was Ocelot putting his hand on Arthur's back in the first place?

Big Boss wanted nothing more than to punch Ocelot. The problem was, it would only make Arthur more angry with him. "A catch 22," he said softly. Arthur looked over at him in surprise. "Feel up to getting back on a bike, Ocelot?"

Arthur started to object, but Ocelot's grin stopped him. He pulled out his revolver and twirled it around in one hand. "You're right, Boss. I've still got a good arm. I'm good enough that with one hand I can still take out twenty men."

Arthur deflated slightly, almost imperceptibly. Big Boss could see it. He was almost surprised that Ocelot couldn't... but then, Big Boss had known Arthur as lover, as lieutenant and as friend for over ten years. Ocelot was going on instinct.

Sooner or later, Arthur was going to come back to _his_ bed because Ocelot _didn't_ know him.

"Right." Arthur nodded toward the truck he and Ocelot had been riding in. "Schluter, Dirgham, get in the truck. If there is one more incident, though, I will not have you stay with us. Once is coincidence, twice might be chance, but three times is enemy action."

Big Boss raised an eyebrow at the words and waited for them to get out of earshot. "Arthur... remember to keep your enemies where you can see them."

"Do you two run your army on slogans?" asked Ocelot in a borderline mocking tone, twirling his gun once more. "Let's get going. We don't have time to waste."

Arthur nodded decisively. "You're still taking point?" he asked. Big Boss nodded.

"Arthur, stay at the end. Ocelot, get to the middle. Everyone else stays in position."

* * *

_**Night 4: Develi** _

It was nighttime in the town of Develi, and Big Boss was once again sleeping alone. It had been a comfort, earlier, when he'd realized that Ocelot was also going to be by himself tonight. They'd made it back on track, despite everything, and were finally in one of the hole in the wall hotels they had booked for the way back.

Arthur had let the men have a party, paying for a round of drinks in celebration. Edik, wanting to show himself as a big man, had paid for several more before everyone found hotel rooms and went to sleep.

In point of fact, that was the problem. Big Boss wasn't sleeping anymore. Big Boss was wide awake. The question was _why?_

The night was still dark, so it wasn't waking with the sun. The door wasn't ajar: no one had come into his room. He honestly didn't think anyone would dare to do it, really, except Arthur, and he was still depressingly mad.

No, that wasn't-

A bang on the wall behind him made him sit up suddenly. Arthur's room. Another. And another. Rhythmic. Bang, bang, bang.

Oh, holy f-

 _Bang_.

Now _that_ was a gunshot. Big Boss was out of his bed, his door was flung wide behind him, and staring into Ocelot's shocked green eyes less than a second later. They each had their guns out, but they wasted less than half a second in glaring at each other before bursting into the room.

Big Boss looked around. A lone hole was in the wall opposite Arthur, who was sitting up in his bed, panting. There was blood behind him on the wall, and his eye was starting to swell. "What the hell happened?" asked Big Boss.

Ocelot rushed over to Arthur before the question was finished. He pulled the gun from Arthur's lifeless fingers and pushed him forward slightly to see the back of his head.

"Someone was in here," said Arthur as Big Boss turned on the main light. "They hit me, banged my head against the wall... I'm just lucky I had my gun loaded on the night stand."

Several of the other men were filing into the room. "Did you hit them?" asked Big Boss. He surreptitiously looked at the men, in an effort to find a man with a bullet hole in an arm or a leg. The only one with bandages was Ocelot.

Arthur shook his head slightly. "Looks like you were right. I shouldn't have slept alone."

Big Boss smiled regretfully. It was unfortunate that it took almost getting killed to show Arthur that he was being too stubborn- "I told you so," said Ocelot. "But don't worry." Ocelot's eyes narrowed. "We'll find out who did it."

Big Boss stared, feeling more and more like an outsider. "How, exactly?" asked Arthur plaintively.

"I'll just go and ask," said Ocelot, winking at Arthur.

Big Boss shook his head to clear it. "No, no, no," he said. "All of you, get out," he said. The men looked at each other in confusion. All except for Ocelot's own men, who turned tail and practically ran off. Big Boss closed the door heavily behind the men. "I will _not_ have you torturing people."

"Boss, we _need_ to _know_. This isn't just going to go away," said Arthur.

"We aren't going to argue in front of-"

"He's not one of the men, stop pretending he is. He's too good to be rank and file, and you know it. And stop trying to distract me from the issue," said Arthur. "This mission has more riding on it than any other we've done. We can't afford to fail. Let him do what he has to do."

"Absolutely _not_. Ocelot, go make sure that bullet didn't hit anyone upstairs."

"No, you stay right where you are," said Arthur, pushing himself out of the bed. "Someone attacked me, and you're going to..." Arthur closed his eyes suddenly and sat down. "Fuck."

Ocelot was closer to Arthur, so he sat down beside him faster than Big Boss could, his arm going around the other man. Big Boss wanted to growl. "Are you all right, Arthur?" he asked instead.

"No. I'm dizzy. I'm not going to be able to ride a bike tomorrow."

"You and Ocelot can take one of the trucks. We'll figure this out. We'll fix this, Arthur."

Arthur shook his head slightly. Ocelot stroked long fingers through his hair. Big Boss took Arthur's hand and held onto it despite the slight increase of tense lines on his face.

"Let him do it," said Arthur finally, opening his eyes. They were blazing, but Big Boss shook his head. How could he do anything else? "Boss," said Arthur quite calmly, "I know you're against it. Under normal circumstances, I am too. You know that. But these aren't normal circumstances."

Big Boss sat down heavily on the bed next to Arthur and Ocelot. He put his hand on Arthur's shoulder for the briefest of moments, pulling back when Arthur momentarily winced. "I know they're not. That's when it's most important not to break. When it's not easy."

Arthur closed his eyes for a moment, his face bunching itself up. "If you can't do anything b-but berate me, then you might as well l-leave." Big Boss looked at him in confusion. "It wasn't _my f-fault._ " His fault? Big Boss opened his mouth. "Not entirely, anyways," said Arthur quietly.

Big Boss closed his mouth. His fault? Why would it be his fault for getting hurt by some teammate out for himself? Unless he wasn't talking about this... What had he said... not to break? He'd taken that to mean the torture, hadn't he... "Arthur-" he paused. He had no words to give to Arthur. He _hated_ this. "Things happen the way they happen. There's a plan out there for all of us."

"So everything happens for a reason?" mused Ocelot quietly. "I never took you for a religious man."

"God is as dead on the battlefield as any man's name," said Arthur. "Get out, both of you. I need to sleep."

Ocelot nodded and left the small room fairly quickly with a very simple "goodnight." Why he was so quick to obey Arthur, Big Boss could not have guessed, but unlike him, Big Boss lingered. He walked to the bullet hole and traced it with his finger, then looked back at Arthur.

"What shot were you trying for?"

"You want to c-criticize my marksmanship now?" His hand went to the back of his head and he rubbed it slowly. "I was only t-trying to wound him."

"I want to know how tall he is. Why are you taking everything as an excuse for an argument?"

Arthur shook his head. "I was aiming for his right shoulder. And I wouldn't be arguing if you weren't making those... snide comments."

"Damn it, Arthur. No one's criticizing you, except maybe yourself." He pulled back from the hole, following the angle down to the sparse hotel bed. "So his shoulder was around... _there_... That would put him at... maybe 5 foot 4..."

"He was tall," said Arthur doubtfully. "He was leaning over when I shot."

Big Boss nodded. "Add another foot then. Who's tall like that?"

"I know their names, not their heights. Didn't I ask you to leave?"

Big Boss sighed and sat down on the bed next to Arthur. He put his hand on the man's shoulder, ignored the stiffening body, and looked at the back of Arthur's head. "It's not so bad, Arthur. We heal fast in this business. You'll be back on a bike in a day."

"This mission should be over by the end of tomorrow." Big Boss nodded and pursed his lips, leaning back slightly. "I just want this to be over," he said, his voice cracking.

"I know," said Big Boss. He reached over and pulled Arthur into a hug. "Just one more day, Arthur. I promise you that. You'll be with-"

" _Stop_. I just can't-" Arthur shook his head and pushed Big Boss' arms away. "Your promise is enough. The day after tomorrow, we can talk, okay? About whatever you want. Just wait until the mission is over. Okay?"

Big Boss resigned himself to the situation and nodded. "I can't order you to talk to me. I won't order you to explain all your decisions. I just..."

"I understand. You can't believe in me. You don't trust me. You _need_ me to explain it all. And I can't right now."

"I believe in you, Arthur." Big Boss took a deep breath and let it out. "And I trust _you_ more than anyone else in the world."

"But you told Ocelot your name, and you- you never told me. Good night, sir."

Big Boss just shook his head- what else was there to do?

_**If I had a rocket launcher** _

_Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats - H. L. Mencken_

**Day 5: Develi to Baghdad: Develi**

Dawn rolled up cold and clear the next morning, and the men, including Arthur and Ocelot, looked ready to go. Big Boss wasn't. He watched them for a while from the shadows.

Dirgham and his brother were talking to each other quietly. He couldn't quite make out the strains of conversation between the pair, but it wasn't very important. If they had anything to do with the problems on this mission, they surely wouldn't say anything about it in front of Arthur.

Speaking of Arthur, he and Ocelot were in a quiet and obviously _private_ discussion of their own. Big Boss sourly wanted nothing more than to shoot Ocelot. Unfortunately, it simply was no longer an option. Ocelot had protected Arthur, gone to help him last night, and he'd done it honestly. Even if Big Boss resented him for it.

Edik stood straight and still, by himself despite being flanked by the other two men Ocelot had brought with him. The other two were talking almost sleepily to each other about the alcohol they had had on Edik's tab, while the man in question was staring towards Arthur and Ocelot without any particular indication that it was anything other than a random direction to look at.

In fact, several of his standard drivers were bleary eyed this morning, either nursing hangovers or still under the influence. He couldn't trust _them_ with the trucks. One environmental disaster in the north Ukraine was bad enough; a second in Turkey or Iran or Syria wouldn't be missed by any of the global authorities that were sure to be watching. And God help them all if it happened in Iraq.

So. Who looked capable of driving? Dirgham and Schluter, Ocelot and Arthur (and oh, but it pained him to let _them_ go together, but someone had to take point and it couldn't be Ocelot), Edik, whose stiff bearing might also indicate a lingering of alcohol, Sasaki who would have been capable if he weren't being tied into the supply truck... who else... Perez only had a hangover, but then, he was almost seven feet tall... if he'd been the one to attack Arthur, there was no chance he could be in a truck today... and then there was Barajas, who was standing straight without difficulties.

Big Boss walked out, and those who had been talking stopped. "Gentlemen. I see everyone had a good time last night. I suppose you should thank Edik for his generosity." He frowned for a moment. He'd have to talk to the man about that too... excessive alcohol on a mission was dangerous, and he'd helped many of the men into drunken stupors. "Unfortunately, it's also determined who will be driving today. Dirgham, Schluter, you'll take the first truck. Ocelot and Arthur, you get the second cargo truck. And... Perez and Barajas, you'll take the supplies." If something happened, at least the cargo would be safe. He tilted his head toward Arthur questioningly. The other man often had something to add.

"It's been a long trip, but we're on the final leg," said Arthur. "So let's all get to the finish line, collect our money, and go home."

"Or not, as the case may be," muttered Ocelot.

Arthur nodded solemnly. Big Boss snorted.

* * *

_**Day 5: Develi to Baghdad: Alleppo** _

"I know, I know. You think I'm overreacting. It's just that this mission is... really important," said Arthur. "Life and death. I can't afford to let Big Boss screw up any part of it."

Ocelot nodded from his position in the driver's seat. "Questioning his authority at every turn isn't helping your case, though."

"I _know_ that. But every time I see him, I-" Arthur shook his head and looked at the side mirror. "He's not following _any_ of my recommendations. I don't have to be right _all_ the time, but this is ridiculous..."

"So he doesn't trust you. Find another way to introduce your ideas to him."

"What, in bed?" Arthur asked acidly as he turned his head. "I'm not just some... bed-mate. I've worked with him for ten years. I've commanded his teams, under his leadership, for almost as many. Even when I wasn't commanding military teams, I was the overall head of his research and development teams. I'm still involved in that-"

"If you're so good, why doesn't he trust you?" asked Ocelot.

Arthur leaned his head back and let out a long breath. "It only takes one bad mission..." He said, shaking his head as he laughed self-consciously. "If he lets you stay, remember that. One bad mission, and he thinks you're worthless."

"Oh, you're not worthless, Arthur." Ocelot flashed him a grin before turning his eyes back to the road. "You're intelligent, you're... strong, you're..."

Arthur waited a moment while Ocelot thought. "You can't think of anything else, can you." Ocelot shook his head apologetically. "That's okay. I'd bet you weren't even saying those first two except to cheer me up."

"I wasn't," said Ocelot, his voice sounding concerned.

Arthur shook his head. "You don't really know me. I'd be hard pressed to come up with anything, myself," he added softly.

They went silent for a while. Arthur looked out the window at the terrain that was slowly starting to even out, from the mountainous parts of northern Turkey to the flatter desert areas that were it's southern border with Syria.

"I'm sure you're very loyal," said Ocelot finally.

Arthur shook his head. "I'm not even that. They found my price, and they've ransomed me. I guess Big Boss must be the loyal one for trying to help me..."

"And what about his loyalty to you personally?" Ocelot demanded quickly. "Doesn't he owe you more than he could possibly repay?"

" _He_ doesn't seem to think so. I don't know. Maybe he doesn't. Maybe everything I've given him has just been..." Arthur glanced at the rearview mirror, where he and Ocelot sat together. "Just a reflection. Like, with strength: I didn't have any before him. I thought I must have had it all along, and he just brought it out, but- I just don't know anymore. What's me, what's him..." Arthur shook his head and rested it against the cool glass. "I'm sure that makes no sense."

"Oh, but it does." One hand left the wheel and placed itself on Arthur's knee. "You want something new."

Arthur bit his lip uncomfortably. "Look, Ocelot, um... that's flattering, but-"

A loud bang cut him off. Ocelot's hand returned immediately to the wheel as the truck started to swerve to the right. "The tires," said Arthur. Ocelot nodded shortly as the wheel shook, but another bang sounded before he managed to get control.

Arthur's hands gripped whatever they could as the vehicle went left and then right and then left again. He looked back.

It wasn't just their truck having difficulties: the supply vehicle was careening off the road, and three tires on the motorcycles had been blown. There was only one vehicle without any difficulties: the other cargo truck. Schluter was leaning out the side of it, a gun out.

The truck was slowing, but another two bangs and the back tires were gone. The truck bounced to a halt, throwing Ocelot and Arthur toward the dash. Behind them, Arthur could hear the gunshots still being fired, but he didn't care: he threw the door open, pulling his gun out and tearing off the safety as he did so.

He moved to the center of the road. The other truck was hurtling towards him, but he didn't care: he opened fire at the driver's side, trying desperately to stop it from going farther. Ocelot was staring at him from inside, shaking his head as if to clear it.

Arthur fired, and fired and fired. If the truck hit him, then it hit him!

Without warning, he was pushed into a roll out of his position. The truck rolled past. Arthur managed to get a shot to hit Schluter, but the truck didn't pause. Arthur watched it, his hopes sinking as it disappeared.

All that work. All that planning. All the lives lost. "Arthur, we have to get off the road, now!" said Big Boss, pulling him.

And the life that _would_ be lost. Baghdad wasn't going to accept an excuse, it didn't matter how valid it was. It didn't matter that Chernobyl had been destroyed, it didn't matter that the team they were left with was skeletal at best, or that two of their own had defected. They had failed. _Failed._

They were on the shoulder now. He looked at the rest of the road. The bikes were almost all messed up. Big Boss had perhaps been the only one to manage the feat of escaping unharmed. Ocelot's men were limping off the road, Edik the only one capable enough to have saved his bike from destruction. Big Boss' forces had fared even worse: one of them wasn't moving.

Big Boss left Arthur where he was and went to pick up the fallen, while Arthur stood, blinking dully at the scene.

"I should have argued," he said faintly. "I shouldn't have let him put Dirgham and Schluter in the truck."

"It wasn't your fault," said Ocelot quickly, moving up beside him. "It wasn't your decision, and he wasn't listening to you."

That was absolutely fucking _true_. Big Boss hadn't been listening to him. He'd told Big Boss to leave them behind yesterday. And then he'd been attacked... He'd been attacked after trying to get them away from the trucks! Big Boss should have known!

"Why didn't he listen to me?" Arthur's breathing sped up slightly as he watched Big Boss check the fallen man's pulse. "I told him they were bad news."

"But he didn't trust you enough to listen... I'm sorry, Arthur. Maybe if I'd said something-"

"No, it's not your fault." Arthur turned his eyes away from Big Boss and stared at Ocelot. "He didn't trust you much more than he trusted me. He doesn't anyone. He's got _issues_. And he's ruined this mission." His voice began to rise in tone and volume, and his breathing was getting harder to control, but Arthur didn't really care anymore. "He... he's killed him. It's his _fault_. He's cost me my- everything. _Everything_!"

Ocelot shook his head, one corner of his mouth rising. "What is it they're holding against you?" he asked softly, a sort of superior sneering laugh falling out after the question.

But Arthur wasn't listening to Ocelot anymore. He was marching out onto the road, to where Big Boss was even now grabbing the man under his shoulders and dragging him off the road. "You should have left me in front of that truck!"

"This man is dead, Arthur," he said somberly.

Arthur was _not_ going to let him off the hook that easily. He growled. "That's your fault _too!_ " Big Boss looked at Arthur, shook his head, and ignored the shouted accusation. "How many people will die for this? We should have let them... should have..."

His face paled suddenly, all the blood rushing away. Big Boss turned, dropping the dead body. "That was never an option, Arthur. _Never_ ," he said quickly, then put his arms around Arthur.

"Don't dismiss me!" Arthur pushed the arms away explosively. "They're going to do it anyways, and all we've done is destroyed _everything_. You didn't want us to compromise our values by letting Ocelot use whatever he could to question them? Fuck, we'd _already_ compromised our values, but you couldn't let that happen with Ocelot- And _look what's happened!_ We've destroyed a nuclear reactor- displaced thousands from their homes, poisoned them and their families and the very _dirt_ around them. We've lost men who were _loyal_ and _good_! And we're _still going to fail!_ "

"We haven't failed," said Big Boss. He turned his attention away for a moment. "You! Get this man off the road! And Ocelot, get tires _back_ on the trucks and salvage what you can of the bikes!" He rubbed his forehead and turned back to Arthur.

"We should have _stormed Baghdad!"_ shouted Arthur. "We should have _knocked them down_ for _daring_ to try a trick like this! But instead, we let them _blackmail_ us. And whether you accept it or not, we've _lost!_ "

"We haven't!"

"Why don't you live in reality like the rest of us? Another man dead! And now we know we were wrong about who killed those men, and who sabotaged us, and what do you say? We haven't lost? When do you _accept defeat!_ "

 _"When we're both_ dead _!"_

The silence was deafening. Arthur had experienced silence before: the silence on the field of battle when a thousand bullets don't make a sound; the silence of anticipation, when the whole world hinges on a command decision; the self-satisfied silence of the victor on the bloody morning after, surveying a new world washed clean by napalm. No silence he'd yet experienced was as quiet as this horrible, gut-wrenching, terrified, angry silence.

Arthur closed his eyes against the sight of Big Boss. His body suddenly felt as cold as ice. "For all _you_ care, I might as well be," he said finally, just loudly enough that Big Boss could hear. It wasn't for the men to hear this, no matter how they strained to listen to the anchorless drift of whispers the shouting left in its wake. "You _promised_ it would be fine. You _swore_ we'd get to Baghdad by the end of today. But it seems you're a liar. This is our last mission together." He saluted and turned, his back stiff, and walked away, ignoring Big Boss as he ordered him to come back.

The feeling still hadn't returned to his glacial mind, but there was work to be done. They weren't finished yet. "You!" He pulled Edik away from his bike. "Go untie Sasaki." He nodded towards Big Boss without particularly looking at him. "We need every man."

"Are you sure that's wise, Arthur?" Ocelot asked from beside him. Arthur didn't move, just breathed in and out carefully. "He's been in there for a few days. Maybe someone should talk with him first..."

"Do _you_ want to talk to him?" Tides of emotion rose again suddenly as he considered Sasaki. Unjustly accused, made to suffer. And for what? For _him_. For Arthur. He could have died; someone had died. For _him_. "I'm not doing it anymore. If _he_ can't be bothered to keep track of who's on his side, then that's the way things are."

Ocelot nodded cautiously. "Are we still going to-"

"We're going to complete this mission. We are still going to Baghdad." They threatened to overwhelm him. They'd died for him. They had to be avenged. "But when we get there, I can't promise you I know what's going to happen." No, there were no promises anymore that would be torn away by undercurrents. Promises were for people with families and futures. Promises were for people who had solid ground to stand on. "At eighteen hundred hours, we will be officially late. And when we are late, something bad will happen. And when that happens-" Arthur looked up and his eyes burned suddenly with sandy tears born from the blazing sun. "I swear, Chernobyl will look like a minor environmental _mishap_ compared to what I do to Iraq."


	18. Bite your lips and bleed

_Always keep your clothes and your weapons where you can find them in the dark. - Robert Heinlein_

**Night 5: Deir El Zor, midnight**

It was an appropriate stopping point. They stopped as close to the Euphrates river as they dared at almost eleven, but it took until midnight to get tents set up. It was too late to get a hotel room, and really, who wanted one? It would be like getting a room in Auschwitz. The wind around them was blowing the desert sand everywhere.

It started innocently enough: their hands grazed each other briefly while passing burnt, sand-encrusted rations that someone had tried to heat in the fire. Across the blaze, the one-eyed man was somehow managing to sit in the shadows. It didn't matter that he hid. Arthur could see every flicker of his cold, blue eye.

When Arthur's hand touched Ocelot's, the eye blinked. Arthur stared into the shadows, his brow rising ever so slightly. The fire crackled between them, the hired soldiers oblivious to the silent exchange.

If his chest hadn't felt so constricted by anger, it might have stopped there. If the pain of their earlier confrontations hadn't cut so deeply, it would most likely have been the end of it. Instead, Arthur touched Ocelot's hand again, this time with more purpose.

And Ocelot smiled. His eyes were cold too, and the smile didn't get anywhere close to reaching them, but the hand that slowly traced a line up Arthur's arm instantly captured the attention of all three men.

The eye rose and started moving towards them. "Someone's not happy," said Ocelot.

"I don't _care_ if he's happy." Arthur pulled Ocelot's hand closer.

Out of the corner of his field of vision, Arthur watch as the eye blinked again and sank back into the shadows. The sides of Arthur's mouth turned up. His own eyes were as far from warm as any of the others', but it was different with him: his were boiling dangerously, years of stewing anger finally breaking forth onto the surface.

Ocelot grinned and inclined his head away from the fire to the shadows where they wouldn't be seen. Arthur glared at the eye in the shadow that watched them. It wasn't blinking any more.

Arthur tore himself away from it. Too cold, too blue... too alone. It would always _be_ alone, would always _want_ to be alone. It was _cruel_ and _callous_. It didn't care about all the lives that shattered around it. He nodded to Ocelot.

Hands met once more. Arthur's took Ocelot's like a lifeline as they walked slowly into the shadows. The sand blew around them like a swarm of gnats, and Arthur looked back once more to see that the blue eye had disappeared from its place in the fire-lit darkness.

Ocelot pulled him farther, to where a dune would protect them from wandering eyes and loose talk.

That first kiss was gentle, a tentative question. Arthur wasn't sure who started it. The second was harsher, a demanding response. "I want to know something," said Arthur, pushing the other man away. Ocelot stared at him with desire in his eyes. "I want to know your name."

"Huh." Ocelot smiled, and his eyes narrowed. "Adamska."

"Adamska," repeated Arthur. "Nice name. Good to meet you."

They kissed again.

Slow caresses turned to angry groping as the night wore on, each bruising the other with abrupt embraces. Clothes were tossed aside, guns placed more carefully where either could reach them. They were close enough that the aim wouldn't matter.

Their cries rang out in the night. They didn't bother to stifle them.

Through it all, they didn't look at each other, not really. Arthur's brown eyes roved over Adam's body, over the sand, out beyond the caravan and the waste as though halfway expecting to capture a glimpse of something he'd lost. Adam's cold green eyes were fixed the whole time on the distant dunes, his mouth curving up in a not-quite smile when he wasn't using it for other things. version

Adam reached over and took a cigar from his clothes. Arthur's back pressed to the ground as he watched the stars become distorted by the smoke. It smelled nice. Like family. "What kind of cigar is that?" he asked finally.

"Cuban," said Adam. "Always supported my communist brethren. I suppose I'll have to go to some cheap American brand now."

"Big Boss likes cubans," said Arthur. "Especially after we..." Adam gave a non-committal noise in response. Arthur looked sideways at Adam. The other man was staring off into the darkness beyond.

That darkness was all he had to look forward to now. All any of them had, really. Communist brethren? They'd tossed Adam out with the garbage, just as Big Boss' American brothers had done. And what was Arthur doing now but more of the same? Was he really prepared to spend his life completely alone?

"Do you ever wish you were normal?" asked Arthur softly. "I mean... just a man who didn't have to worry about politics and playing games. Whose biggest worries were what Christmas present to get for his family..."

"A wife and kids? That kind of life isn't for men like us," he scoffed. "Besides, I don't like women."

"I didn't ask if you liked women." Arthur smiled broadly and inhaled the smoke. It really smelled like Big Boss again. "There's a difference, having a wife and liking women."

Adam shrugged. Arthur inhaled deeply again and imagined suddenly that, instead of Adamska, _John_ lay beside him. Free of the deceptive Big Boss moniker... Family... "I shouldn't have done this," he muttered.

Adam's eyes focused on Arthur's face suddenly. "Do you know what I _do_ like about women?" Adamska turned and leaned over Arthur. "I like how they scream when you force them. Men don't scream like women."

Arthur looked at Adam, confused. "You mean you like _rape_?" Adam's smile broadened. "That's disgusting." Arthur sat up and looked accusingly at the other man.

"But not with men," said Adam, following Arthur's lead and pulling himself into a cross-legged seat. "I don't rape men. Men ask _me_ for it."

"Yeah, well, if they knew you liked raping people, maybe they wouldn't." Arthur paused. That was probably a little too insulting, even if the man was telling him something extremely unpleasant. "I didn't mean it that way, Adam..."

Adam just waved his hand. "Interesting foreplay idea. Telling them that. But that's not how I hurt a man."

Adam was staring into Arthur's eyes. Arthur was starting to feel a little nauseous. Not how he hurt men? Where was this going? It didn't sound like it could possibly go anywhere good. In fact, this looked like the quintessential sort of _bad_ conversation that people had in horror films. The part just before someone confirms that yes, they really _are_ the torturer, and it's time for them to get their revenge. Oh, no, this didn't sound good. "I think I'm going to go," Arthur said uncomfortably.

Adam put his hand on Arthur's arm before Arthur could move. "You're going to face him smelling of sex with me?" Arthur blinked dumbly at Adam while his lips parted on thoughts he couldn't quite verbalize. "You know what I like about men, Arthur? If you grab a man by his short hairs, he'll follow you anywhere. And when a man- a _soldier_ \- screams, he holds it inside. That's where it really hurts. It _echoes_ , back and forth through his head like a ricocheting bullet, damaging everything in its path."

"Let go of me." Arthur tried to push Ocelot's hand away, suddenly very disturbed, but the other man's hold was far too strong. Wasn't he supposed to be injured? Arthur pushed at the bandage. Ocelot didn't even _flinch._ He _grinned_.

"The real power over a man, though, it isn't in what I do. It's what _he_ does to _himself_." Was Ocelot even speaking to him? "It's in how he devalues himself. How he _betrays_ himself and everyone around him. And the best part for me, the part that turns me on most?" Ocelot smiled. "It's the look on his face when he realizes what he's done."

Ocelot let go of Arthur's shoulder and nodded off into the shadows. Arthur turned quickly to catch whatever Ocelot was looking at, and there it was, like a terrible shining light in the darkness. He could feel a pain in the back of his neck that travelled down to his stomach and into his groin. A part of him wanted to be mad for being watched, but he'd let out so much passion with Ocelot that he just felt... empty.

The blue eye closed.

Arthur stared for a moment more, but it did not reappear. "You... he was _watching_?"

"Must have been a good show. You're a good lay."

"I d-didn't mean for him t-to- A _what_?"

"A good lay," repeated Ocelot calmly. "Now, let's just fuck each other again."

"Wh- You've got to be k-kidding me. You just said we d-did this to hurt him- but he's gone. And I d-didn't want to hurt him like th-that..."

"Come on, now. What were you thinking when he was staring at you possessively, telling you without words not to go anywhere alone with me? You were using me _more_ than I was using you."

"I..."

"So one more time, and I'll forgive you."

"F-forgive _m-me_?"

"He's not going to take you back, Arthur. You're worthless to him now. Worse than that. You've betrayed his trust. But you don't have to be alone. I can take care of you."

He looked back out into the night, but Big Boss wasn't there to save him from himself. Not this time. The sand was blowing around them again, and the wind hummed a solemn dirge as Arthur tried to furiously blink away the dirt that had somehow gotten into his eyes. "I... B-Big Boss is... he won't..."

"He can't forgive you any more than he could forgive Dirgham and Schluter for killing his men and destroying this mission. He won't say another word to you." Ocelot's mouth pressed itself onto his lips and Arthur let himself be pushed to the floor.

God.

He felt himself blacking out as the other man's weight came down heavily on his chest, but Ocelot slapped him before he went completely under. "It's your own fault, Arthur," he said, his voice a cat's spitting hiss. "You had to _break_ eventually. And that's because you wanted to."

The blue eyed man never needed to say a word. He'd _never_ had to. That cold blue stare spoke in a tone that even the dust dared not disobey.

* * *

_**Day 6: Deir El Zor** _

From the amount of light in the sky, it was probably around two hours before dawn. Big Boss still hadn't slept. After an hour of trying to clear the image of and Arthur's previous ROcelot viciously penetrating Arthur,/R he'd had to get up and take a walk. He'd walked far enough from the camp that he was able to see the Euphrates. Close enough that he could have dipped his feet into it if he'd wanted to.

He'd only really stopped walking because he couldn't cross it without a boat.

He'd been sitting for over an hour, trying to figure out what to do and how to feel, when footsteps crunched behind him. His hand was on his gun already, so he just flicked the safety off. He didn't move.

"Boss."

He let a moment pass without doing anything. Finally he took a deep breath. "Ocelot." Ocelot sat down cross legged beside him. "Your name isn't an invitation to join me."

Ocelot shrugged and smirked. Big Boss watched his reflection in the water. "He said he loves me," said Ocelot with one of his superior airs. It _hurt_ to hear Ocelot say that. It shouldn't hurt so much, despite being new information. But it did.

Perhaps it was because, without that statement, he could still think the whole thing was a trick played on them by a foolish, arrogant bastard who'd never learned that one didn't torture one's own people. Without that statement, he could pretend it was almost a form of rape, something Arthur didn't really agree to, no matter what he'd seen happen. Maybe it was just because he was an idiot who'd never wanted to believe someone who'd slept with him would betray him in the morning. He was such a fool...

"So, Jack. Now you know. Yours is a house of ill fame, and he's a fallen flower. This life isn't only wicked and sinful. It isn't even any fun!"

Big Boss shook his head and pulled out a handful of grass, then sprinkled it around.

"Your Arthur Emmerich. You figured he was worth something? Hmph." Big Boss said nothing. His eyes stayed on the water, watching it reflect the light into unrecognizable patterns. "Can't you see I'd be a better partner than him? Look at how easily he betrayed you!"

Big Boss' face twitched and he took a long, deep, shuddering breath. "He's under a lot of pressure." It was no excuse... "I doubt you'd do better."

"I wouldn't _be_ under that kind of pressure. I _know_ my price. No one can match it. But his?" Ocelot shook his head and picked up few rocks and juggled them. To prove a point, Big Boss supposed, but what point exactly escaped him at the moment. "He's got a history of betrayal, doesn't he."

Big Boss said nothing. Ocelot threw the stones out into the river, hitting one of the boats on the other side. The grass waved around them. There were clouds coming up on the horizon. Big Boss picked up a stone and threw it across the river to hit one of the buildings. And the silence grew.

Big Boss took off his hat and re-buttoned his jacket. The air was damper here than at camp, and the wind hit just a little colder. The air had gotten a few degrees worse since Ocelot had come. Perhaps, even out here in the desert, there was enough condensation to form early morning dew.

"I don't get it," said Ocelot after the silence grew too long for him. "Aren't you even a little bit angry? You don't care about the arguments? The _hatred_ he has for you now?"

Big Boss shook his head slowly. "Better to turn it outwards where it can run it's course." He put the safety back on his gun carefully. Arrogant, foolish _child_. "Have you ever loved someone, Ocelot?"

Ocelot tilted his head. "For the sake of a mission," he said matter-of-factly.

"Not sex, Ocelot, love."

"Love's a weakness."

Big Boss nodded. He put his hand in the river and dashed Ocelot's reflection. "The biggest one, Ocelot. And no matter what they say, there's no strength in it." Ocelot shook his head and looked at Big Boss in confusion. "But..." Big Boss smiled. "It's like air. There's a terminal obsession with it from the moment you're born."

Ocelot shook his head. "It doesn't have to rule you," he said. "You don't have to base your command on it!"

Big Boss sighed and gave Ocelot a strained smile, then crunched one of his hands into a tight fist and leaned his forehead on it. He was so tired, yet he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep. Not for the rest of tonight, not tomorrow... perhaps not before Arthur was safe and happy again. Maybe Arthur had betrayed him with Ocelot, but Big Boss had never, _never_ betrayed anyone.

"You don't understand, Ocelot. You don't love him." Did Arthur truly love this man? Ocelot had no concept of love, no wish to be loved... he saw love only as a breeding ground of betrayal. If Arthur loved this man, it would bring him nothing but unhappiness. "I wish I could change that," he whispered. Perhaps Arthur could teach him about love. Though, being able to drop Big Boss like that, maybe he didn't understand it either.

"I... I thought you'd be jealous. Of me being with him?" Ocelot's voice was riddled with doubt and confusion now.

"I am, Ocelot. I am." He shook his head and closed his eye. It hurt. That Arthur could love this man over _him_ , that Arthur could want _Ocelot_ who couldn't love him back... "Why did you come to me?" asked Big Boss, turning to the younger man. It was almost a despairing tone of voice. "With all the armies, with all the NGOs and paramilitary organizations, why did you pick mine?"

Ocelot blinked a few times and shrugged. "Well, I knew you, and..."

"You've worked with spetznaz for over 20 years. I'm the only one you know?" asked Big Boss skeptically.

Ocelot looked down and frowned. "We have a history."

Big Boss sighed and shook his head. Arthur was afraid. It was the only explanation. This mission, the problems they'd had- "Ocelot, did you leave Arthur alone?"

"Dirgham and Schluter are gone. What are you worried about?"

Big Boss shook his head. "Nothing," he said shortly, then stood. "Coming, Ocelot?"

Ocelot shook his head. "I'll be back before we leave."

"Fine. Don't be late." Big Boss scowled, then let out a breath. "Arthur would be disappointed," he said sadly.

Oh, Arthur...


	19. Love me like a man

_The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. - Mahatma Gandhi_

**Day 6: Deir El Zor to Baghdad**

Arthur got into the passenger seat in the truck and let his eyes fall to the floor. He didn't want to see anything or anyone right now. Big Boss would be assigning people to various places, giving a final go-for-it mission speech- probably exactly like yesterday's, and Arthur didn't want to hear _any_ of it. The mission was already over. They just hadn't realized it yet.

The door opened, and the cab rocked as Ocelot got in. Arthur didn't want to talk to _him_ , either. He'd been manipulated. Used,R fucked,/R and left to wake up alone.

The truck started with an awful noise and jerked forward. "Careful," said Arthur tonelessly. "You'll knock the cargo over."

There was no response from beside him, but the jerking lessened.

Arthur kept his eyes on the floor, unable to look up. The dark steel-toed work boots he preferred looked dusty. He reached down and brushed at the dirt on the right shoe, then spit in his hand and rubbed it to as much of a polish as he could. He repeated on the left.

It took all of five minutes.

He _should_ have talked to Big Boss. A little discomfort and embarrassment would have saved him a trip with this... whatever he was. Rapist, torturer, manipulator... murderer, most likely... He wasn't a soldier at all.

"Maybe," he said slowly, "we should talk. About last night."

The noise from the engine leveled as Ocelot found a good driving groove. The other man took a breath, but again said nothing. Bored probably. From his point of view, what would there be to discuss? He'd won, or whatever it was he was trying to do.

"I'll talk then." He pulled out his gun and snapped the magazine out. He had to have something to do with his hands. "Yesterday was..." He paused, trying to figure out what word to use. "It wasn't normal. And it's not going to happen again. I want you to stay away from me once this mission is done."

There was a sharp puff of air beside him.

"Don't- Don't. I don't know where you were in the morning, but it gave me time to think about what you did to me- and to _him_ , and he deserved it less than I did... If I could face him, I'd have told him-"

"Arthur, I'm sorry I watched. But _you_ have no right to be mad at _me_."

Arthur looked up in surprise. "Boss? I thought-" He stopped and bit his lip. There was no way he was going to say anything- "I didn't think you'd want to see me again." Damn it. Stupid mouth that said words before the front of his brain had filtered them...

"We said we were going to talk today. I guess you forgot that along with the rest of the promises you made to me," he said in a strained voice. "At any rate, we should be in Baghdad in another two hours. I thought it might be best to get it out of the way. And then you won't have to deal with me any more."

"Oh." Arthur looked back down at his gun and cycled it a few times. "Last night was... I..." Arthur sighed and shook his head.

"Do you love him, Arthur?"

"Is it better or worse that I don't?"

There was a short pause from the driver's side of the vehicle. "I don't know."

Arthur locked the slide and started to rotate the barrel bushing. "You probably didn't hear what we were saying. That second time, I told him to stop. Wouldn't even have been a question with you. Him, he just... kept going, like I hadn't said a word. Or like it didn't matter..."

"Did he." Big Boss' voice sounded hard all of a sudden.

"Don't- don't be angry at him. It's my own fault..." He pulled the barrel bushing away. "What I did was unforgivable. To both of you. I just didn't like that he called me on it. It's probably the only _reason_ I told him to stop," he admitted quietly.

He swallowed over the lump in his throat while waiting for Big Boss to digest that. It was probably the closest Arthur could get to an apology without actually saying _sorry_. But if he gave the word and Big Boss didn't accept it- Arthur just hoped the other man would understand. "I'm not perfect either," the older man said finally.

"No one would accuse you of _that_ ," said Arthur with a faint, uncomfortable smile. Still, it sounded like a tentative acceptance. "On second thought, some people might. I don't know how I'm going to-" He frowned again and turned his attention to the gun. He aligned the slide lock and removed it, then pulled the slide away from the frame. "I'll figure it out. I'll have to. I'm not going to have any of this, so I'll..."

"You still want this to be the last? We could... start over," said Big Boss.

"That's _crass_. You can't just recreate-" He started putting the gun back together, putting the slide back on and locking it into place and shook his head. "That's not what you mean, though, is it," he said softly.

They were silent again as the truck rumbled, the engine making a noisy, growling undertone for a conversation unwelcome by both parties.

"It comes down to this. Do you still love me?" asked Big Boss.

Arthur frowned. "You're a complete bastard. You think people are toys, you don't trust _anyone_ fully, and after being with me as long as you have, it's really unacceptable that you can't trust _me_... I should say I don't." Big Boss nodded slowly as Arthur stared into his own eyes in the side view mirror. "But that would be a lie."

"Do you really think you have to lie to me?"

"Do you really think I _can_?" Arthur shot back, then shook his head and started again. "Do you still love _me_?"

"I'm not very good with words, Arthur."

"It's a simple question," said Arthur harshly, "and I only need a yes or no."

"You're an idiot. None of what's happened is your fault, it's mine for not training you against torture. If you stay on with me, that's _damn_ well going to be rectified before you go on another mission." Arthur raised an eyebrow at that, then frowned. Big Boss still hadn't said yes. The other man sighed. "And I'd be willing to give you up to _Ocelot_ , if that would make you happy. Yes, I love you."

Arthur looked at Big Boss, then turned his eyes away. "That's not love. That's just... expedience." Big Boss frowned, and so did Arthur. "Why have you never told me your name? Why did you tell _him?"_ demanded Arthur.

"John Doe is only barely a name."

"John... Doe?" Arthur blinked a moment. Suddenly, the world looked lighter. "You told him your name was John Doe." At Big Boss' cautious nod, Arthur began to laugh. "John Doe!" Big Boss gave an uneasy chuckle with him, which only served to make Arthur laugh harder. He wasn't sure why he was laughing himself, but he couldn't seem to stop. He kept laughing for a very long time, until it turned into tears streaming down his face while he laughed and laughed and laughed.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked as the wild, violent euphoria subsided. He leaned back in his seat, completely drained.

"You never asked," said Big Boss.

Arthur sat quietly in his seat for a moment. "You are such an idiot," he said, then looked down. It wasn't as though he'd been thinking straight this mission, not even enough to have asked the right question of _'is_ it your name?' And the complete and utter failure to work _together_ as they usually did, _that_ was what had made this mission fail. He hit the window. "But I guess I am too..."

"You've been under a lot of stress."

"Don't make excuses for me," snapped Arthur. He'd made enough of his own. "You don't have to defend me all the time. I can do that myself."

"That's what partners _do_ , Arthur." He shook his head. "I can't let you down. This... There's still a chance, you know. For this mission to succeed. If it works out, promise you'll stay with me."

"You still want me to?" Big Boss shot him a glance. Arthur nodded. "We're still family." He took a deep breath and let it out, shuddering. "But I can't live without family."

"I understand," Big Boss said quietly with a small, slow nod. Arthur imagined it looked almost upset. "And the rest of it? Are you ready to talk about it? The nightmares, the jumpiness... it won't go away unless we talk."

Arthur felt himself go absolutely tense. "I still can't," he said quietly. "Not until we know for sure how badly I screwed up."

"We'll deal with it later, then," Big Boss said with finality.

It took Arthur quite a lot of time to calm down after that question. He stared out the window and watched the desert go by. During the border crossing into Iraq, he didn't say a word, letting Big Boss handle the whole thing. Above them, the clouds continued to gather as they drove through Iraq.

The sands were beating at everything around them, the winds growing higher even as the sunshine faded from their surroundings. And finally, the city was rising ahead of them. "Baghdad," he breathed. Or was it both of them that said that word, twinned, half-lost whispers that couldn't decide whether to be hopeful or terrified?

And then the palace was looming in front of them, in less time than it took to figure it out.

It was the final question. Had they truly failed? Or, through some miracle or act of God...

Had they succeeded?

* * *

_**Day 6: Baghdad** _

The sky was black when they arrived in the courtyard entranceway, heavy with unshed tears. Today was the sort of day when Big Boss almost expected it to rain blood, as it had more than twenty years ago. He got out of the truck with his gun out and watched carefully as Arthur did the same before looking back at the men.

Most of them had ridden in the back of the supply truck today. The notable exception was, of course, Revolver Ocelot, who carelessly put his bike against the side of the truck before he walked up beside them. Big Boss didn't fail to notice the uncomfortable way Arthur moved when he caught sight of the man. Arthur might not want to be protected from everything, but it was clear he didn't want to spend any more time with Ocelot than he had to. Thank heavens for small mercies... Big Boss moved in between them with a satisfied grunt while the rest of the men arrayed themselves behind their officers in various rest positions.

Above and around them, the courtyard was covered with guards who watched them with suspicious eyes. Big Boss made no movements toward them, consciously projecting a powerful, don't-mess-with-me demeanor to them.

After a few minutes, a minor dignitary came out to greet them. "We're here with a delivery," said Big Boss slowly, quietly and above all, dangerously. It was a tone he had practiced extensively. "We need to see your head of military."

The man looked at them all and nodded shortly. "Please wait here, sirs," he said formally, then turned his back. Big Boss nodded.

Arthur had started to shake beside him. Big Boss doubted the guards or even the soldiers behind them would notice, but he put a hand on his lover's shoulder regardless. "Parade rest, Arthur," he said under his breath.

Arthur turned his head to Big Boss before nodding shortly and schooling his body into the semi-formal position. Behind him, he could hear the men following Arthur's lead.

"Ocelot, turn around and watch them. If anyone gets out of position, shoot them."

"Yes, sir," said Ocelot quietly, turning.

They waited that way for over twenty minutes. Every now and then, Big Boss would murmur Arthur's name again, as the tense shaking became noticeable. When the minister finally arrived, Big Boss inclined his head at Arthur very slightly.

"Attention," Arthur called out.

The men moved behind him again. Big Boss gave the incoming man a sharp salute. "We've brought the cargo," said Big Boss, stepping forward. "More than enough to fully arm your country against Iran."

"You are late," said the Iraqi without preamble. Arthur stepped forward. Big Boss put a hand out and pushed his lieutenant back.

"We have the cargo," he said again, "but if you have more concern to time, then we will take it away. There are other nations that will be more than interested."

" _I'll_ keep it if they don't want it," muttered Arthur. Big Boss moved his hand sharply.

"It is an insult to us, but we will accept it." The Iraqi made a motion with his hand. Big Boss stepped back into line with his officers.

Ocelot turned his head fractionally. "What's going on, Boss?"

"A transaction," said Big Boss, more quietly than ever. Arthur had stopped breathing beside him. Big Boss put a hand on his shoulder again.

A door opened somewhere. Big Boss kept his eye fixed on the minister and his hand ever so slightly closer to his gun than it needed to be.

"Daddy!"

And Arthur was running.

Big Boss let his eye follow the man for an instant, and his face lit with a satisfied smile. Beside him, Ocelot stared in surprise. In front of him, the president of Iraq graced the field, walking towards them with an air of success. He thought he was better than them. He thought he'd won, didn't he... Maybe he had, at that.

Big Boss' smile stayed in place. After all, the man might be a _real_ client one day, or related to one at any rate. Damned Saudi politics.

"A pleasure doing business with you," said the president. "I hope we'll have business together again soon."

Big Boss glanced at Arthur. He was holding Hal as though afraid the boy would slip through his fingers at any moment. "Hopefully," said Big Boss carefully, "your people won't see the need to ransom children for our help again."

"I was told he was offered freely by your second-in-command as a guarantee." The man's smile broadened. "Most regrettable, but a happy ending nevertheless."

Happy? Big Boss nodded without humor and kept his eyes from flicking over to Ocelot. The president gave him a final self-satisfied smile and walked away. Big Boss stared after him, wishing he could raise his gun and fire.

Ocelot stared at him. "That was it?" he asked a moment later. "This whole mission was for his kid?"

Big Boss smiled and nodded. "I'm not letting them get _any_ of my kids," he said, viciousness seeping into his voice as he glanced at Ocelot. Clearly, he'd seen how it turned out when others stole children. _They_ made children into unfeeling bastards who were willing to take advantage of any vulnerability to get what they wanted- and then those children didn't even _win_. But there had to be a remedy for Their destructive whims...

Ocelot shook his head. "I would be a much better second in command," he said resentfully.

"But you won't be. Working against me from the inside was never a way to make me like you." Big Boss laughed. "Arthur was right, though. You'd be wasted in the rank and file. It might take a while, but you'll be a good third."

Ocelot let out a disbelieving laugh and shook his head. "I'd be a better second. Chernobyl, for a little kid? Can't you see he isn't worth it? What can he possibly give you that I can't?"

Big Boss gave Ocelot a sad, wistful smile. He really didn't understand at all, did he? He was the lesser man for it. "A man's worth, Ocelot, isn't just in what he gives." He looked over fondly at his lover and his son, then smiled again at Ocelot. "It's in what he costs to give up."

Big Boss walked to his family, knelt and kissed Arthur's cheek. High above them, the sky exploded into rain.

"Let's go home."

_These, in the day when heaven was falling, the hour when earth's foundations fled, followed their mercenary calling, took their wages, and are dead. Their shoulders held the sky suspended: they stood, and earth's foundations stay. What God abandoned, these defended, and saved the sum of things for pay. - A. E. Houseman_


	20. Puddles gather rain

_Trudeau: Yes, well there are a lot of bleeding hearts around who just don't like to see people with helmets and guns. All I can say is, go on and bleed. But it is more important to keep law and order in the society than to worry about weak-kneed people who don't like the looks of—  
CBC reporter (interrupting): At any cost? How far would you go with that? How far would you extend that?  
Trudeau: Well, just watch me._

In 1989, the Berlin Wall was torn down. It was a life-altering event for many people in Communist countries, and was generally hailed as the symbolic end of the Cold War. The end of that war meant spending cuts for military affairs in most of the Western world.

Not all of the world took this opportunity to decrease their budgets. In a small south African country near Galzburg, spending on military affairs went up in response. Outer Heaven was constructed. Big Boss pulled in experts to help in its design. In 1990, research began again on a thirty year old dream. Arthur Emmerich pulled files out of storage, and Aleksandr Granin's preliminary plans for a bipedal, walking death-tank, capable of launching a nuclear missile at any country in the world without detection, were refined.

The first model, the TX-05, was a total failure. Completed in 1992, the prototype was used to send normal missiles at Baghdad. The attack failed. Arthur Emmerich pulled himself out of Big Boss' arms, taking a leave of absence and placing Dr. Petrovich Madnar in charge of further development on the project.

Emmerich spent some time with a psychiatrist trying to work out his problems, then married her in October, 1992. Big Boss was angry, but what could he do to stop it? He blew cigar smoke into their faces while the photographer took wedding pictures.

Petrovich's TX-11 in late 1993 was more promising, but still failed in some respects. Arthur returned to the base and took some time to re-familiarize himself with the project. Then, in early 1994, there was a leak.

Big Boss and Arthur Emmerich tore through the base, trying to find out who had given the information to the UN, but to no avail. It only got worse. In late 1994, rumblings in the US organizations that Big Boss kept himself under were starting to question Outer Heaven.

In June 1995, it came to a head: FOXHOUND was ordered to become involved in the Outer Heaven situation.

* * *

_**The soft drumming of rain on the rooftop woke Arthur slowly. There were definitely benefits to living in Africa during the rainy season: the warmth and the greenery were beautiful compared to the dull, lackluster, grey afternoons with Julie. Of course, the company was better here, too.** _

He felt breath on his lips suddenly, and the darkness behind his eyes got a little darker. He had to force himself not to smile; then the breath became hotter and closer. When the lips touched his, he gave a small sigh of contentment and opened his eyes.

Yes, the company was _much_ better in Africa.

Big Boss pulled away slightly. "Ready to wake up?" Arthur closed his eyes and shook his head. There was a lot they needed to do today. TX-55 was almost operational, so there was all the testing with dummy warheads that needed to be started. And then there were the anomalous radio signals and the mysterious break-downs of key scientific components that had to be explained sometime soon. Not to mention planning and logistics and tactical strategies that needed to be thought out for the next few months...

"We have to, don't we," sighed Arthur, turning his head and letting his eyes open into disappointed slits. Big Boss gave him a lopsided grin and nodded. "Ah, well." Arthur sat up and stretched.

"I love you," said Big Boss suddenly.

Arthur closed his eyes and fell back into the bed heavily. "You only say that before you give me bad news."

"That's not true," protested Big Boss.

Arthur raised an eyebrow at the other man. "The last time you said _I love you_ was just before you told me about how you had to take off to deal with those idiots in Japan. The ones we sold Sarin to at an unreasonably low price- I told you selling for low profits to religious fanatics wasn't going to gain us anything. The time before that was... let's see... for Iraq to deal with that damned Kuwati problem last October. Meaning I had to cut my time with Hal, Julie and Emma short so that someone was supervising the base. And before _that_ was-"

"I get the picture. I don't say it enough."

"Damned right." Arthur sighed. The bad news wouldn't go away just because he was avoiding it. He sat up and swung his legs over the edge of the bed, turning his exposed back to Big Boss. "So what is it this time?"

"It's not _bad_ news," said Big Boss slowly, his hands starting to knead Arthur's back. "I've called someone in about the problems we've been having. Coming this morning."

"That doesn't _sound_ bad," said Arthur carefully. A massage? Seemed particularly grim. Big Boss didn't think he was going to take this well. "Can we trust him? Or her," he added. One of the investigators recently had been women.

"Him. We can trust him. He's done a lot of work for me..."

There was something wrong with that sentence... what was it... ah. "For _you_? What, not _us_?"

"You always _do_ pick out the important words," said Big Boss, a rueful note in his voice.

Arthur frowned. "You know what I think about secrets between us."

"It isn't as bad as you think," said Big Boss quickly. "I just didn't want you to have to deal with him, and I needed someone to work on things without having many ties to us, and-"

"Fine, fine," said Arthur, cutting off the excuse with a wave of his hand. "So who is it then?" Big Boss leaned his forehead against Arthur's neck. Arthur stood and looked at the man in annoyance. "Out with it!"

Big Boss nodded and gave a strained smile. "Revolver Ocelot."

Arthur blinked for a moment, then sat down on the bed. "Tell me you aren't serious. Tell me he hasn't been working for us."

"Arthur, he's _good_ at what he does." Arthur's eyes widened and his teeth clenched. "I can't let feelings get in the way of a mission, so in all good conscience, how could I let them get in the way of a battle?"

"And this is a war." Arthur shook his head. "A war for people's minds and hearts. I know." It wasn't like he didn't know Big Boss' ideals. Hell, the entire _base_ got a lecture in them once a week, it seemed. "I still say, if we're fighting for their hearts, we have to have some feelings."

"We can't afford distractions."

"Then why are you bringing _him_ into this?" Arthur stood up and picked up a pair of boxers from the pile. He shook them out and looked at them suspiciously to see if they were dirty or clean, then put them on. "You know it's going to distract me. And probably _you_ , too."

"It's been almost ten years since you last saw him, Arthur," said Big Boss reasonably.

Arthur hated it when Big Boss was reasonable. He shrugged angrily. "But you've been working with him the whole time. And you never told me."

Big Boss was silent for a moment. Arthur took the time to pick out a shirt from the drawers near the bed, then sat down and unfolded the too-stiff starchy material.

"I _do_ love you," Big Boss said finally, a note of uncertainty in his voice.

Arthur sighed. "If I didn't think you did, I'd have left you a long time ago." He finished buttoning up the shirt. "So what's he authorized to do?"

Drawers and closet were opened on the other side of the room while Arthur picked a pair of socks out of the dirty pile. He ought to reprimand the cleaning staff...

"He can question anyone, including us, about the incidents. Full run of the base. Standard procedures."

"And you really think we can trust him?" asked Arthur warily, looking over his shoulder at Big Boss.

The other man nodded seriously. "I do."

Arthur sighed heavily and walked to Big Boss, kissing him on his bearded cheek. Big Boss turned and kissed him back, rough lips pressing firmly. Arthur's hands reached up and tangled themselves into Big Boss' stark white hair. They stood there for moments, semi-clothed and holding each other.

Eventually, they pulled away simultaneously, as though they'd planned it that way, and quickly dressed. Big Boss pulled on his hat, while Arthur put a pair of safety glasses around his neck. "When's he coming, Boss?"

Big Boss opened the door. "He should be here already," he said. "I sent Monkey to-"

"Oh, for God's sakes, we're not on a mission. His name is _Edik Ivanov._ He's worked with you as long as Ocelot apparently-" Arthur shook his head in annoyance. "But then, you don't use _his_ name either."

"And I'd rather not use _yours_. It's dangerous to do it. A secret organization _demands_ code names for all the leadership positions. If you didn't insist-" Big Boss stopped himself. The argument had been fought many times over the years, and neither one had given any ground, with the exception of Arthur's _own_ name.

Arthur shook his head, but said nothing as they walked out of the barracks into the rain. The water fell on his glasses, making ugly streams in his rapidly fogging vision until he took them off in disgust, stuffing them into a front pocket before he grabbed Big Boss' arm for extra guidance.

A number of mercenaries fought around them, practicing techniques to use on the enemy, splashing mud up as Big Boss and Arthur walked to the small airplane landing strip. The rain didn't do much to wash it off their pant legs.

"Sirs!" Edik's voice rang out, rising up over the rain. The umbrella he was carrying wasn't quite big enough for all three of them, and Big Boss pushed Arthur under it. Arthur put his glasses back on and looked around the tarmac. "The plane's just arrived," said Edik loudly. He adjusted his grip on the handle of the umbrella, leaving dark rivulets streaking down like black mud.

Big Boss gave a short nod and looked at his watch. "He's a little late," he commented.

Arthur wiped the water off his brow ineffectively with his soaking sleeve. "It's the rainy season. Pilot might have had some difficulty..."

The plane engine was powering down, but Ocelot apparently wasn't willing to wait. The door opened in the back, and Ocelot jumped down, one hand on a wide-brimmed cowboy hat to keep it on. He looked... old. He certainly hadn't aged well: he was balding, his hair had gone a shade of grey that wasn't quite silver, and worry lines stood out on his forehead, even under the shadow of his hat.

He walked purposefully to the three waiting men and extended his hand to Big Boss. Big Boss took it and they shook. Lightning flashed above, and Arthur shook Ocelot's hand as the thunder began to roll. He was firm, brief, and professional. Edik held out a hand as well. Ocelot looked at it for a moment, then disdainfully shook it.

"We should go inside, sir," said Edik respectfully.

Arthur nodded. "The mess hall's good enough. I need some coffee."

"Just a peaceful place to drink in1," agreed Ocelot, pulling one of his guns out and twirling it around his finger. Arthur's eyes caught on the motion.

"We'll have someone bring us coffee," said Big Boss, one eyebrow raised. His hand reached out and pushed Ocelot's gun back into its fancy holster. "We need to be more secure than the mess hall," he said with a sidelong glance at Arthur.

Arthur nodded, but it was lost on Big Boss, who'd already turned back towards the main buildings. "Come on, then," said Arthur. Ocelot was already moving, but Edik started ahead only when Arthur did, keeping the umbrella positioned to protect them both from the elements.

They walked quickly, none managing to completely avoid the mud and water they kicked up with each step. Two of the mercenary trainees, smaller than the others, stopped their training as the group passed, and Big Boss waved them over. "Two of my more interesting recruits," said Big Boss with a grin. "Johnny and Luther. They're brothers from Thailand."

"Training children?" asked Ocelot. "What a waste of time."

"They have _special powers_ ," said Arthur, while Big Boss talked to the muddy twins. "Invulnerable to bullets, or some such nonsense." Ocelot raised an eyebrow and looked at his gun with a little smirk, as if to ask if he could test out those special powers.

"He has high hopes for them," said Edik.

"Don't believe a word of it. They're little kids, and they shouldn't be here any more than Hal should," Arthur said with a frown.

"Whatever you say they are," said Big Boss with a slight nod, "they're capable of a lot more than anyone expects from a child, and that makes them valuable. Now let's get going." He walked onwards, and the other three followed.

Big Boss led them to the Rifle Room on the upper level of the command building and sat down at the head of the table. Arthur sat down at his right, Edik took the left, and Ocelot pulled out a chair, sat, and put his feet up on the table, spurs spinning as he did so.

"So... is this a formal briefing?" asked Ocelot.

"Get your feet off the table," said Edik. "It's worth a small fortune."

Ocelot rolled his eyes, but rolled his wet, muddy boots off, leaving dirt all over the wooden surface. "Have some care for something other than yourself," snapped Arthur, his eyes narrowing in annoyance.

"Maybe this wasn't such a good idea," muttered Big Boss with a shake of his head. "Let's stop worrying about the damned table. There are more important things to think about."

Arthur nodded, letting Big Boss guide them back to the point of this whole meeting. "Right. So where do we start?"

"At the beginning," said Big Boss. "The first incident..."

"Probably the security breach, two years ago. Maybe we should talk about things that are a bit more current?" suggested Edik.

"Right. The radio broadcasts," said Arthur with a nod. Ocelot pulled out one of his guns and started twirling it around idly. "Are you going to pay attention?"

Ocelot raised an eyebrow. "Maybe we shouldn't be working together, Boss," he said, shooting a smirk at Arthur.

Arthur stood up so fast his chair fell over. "If someone's out of here, it's _you_. You will pay attention, and you will have _respect_ for the command structure of this base, or I will-"

"Enough, Arthur!" Big Boss stood and slapped Arthur's shoulder. "Pick up your chair and sit down. Ocelot's got a _talent_ for this that we are sorely lacking, so _sit_ down and work _with_ him instead of against him. And _you,_ " he said, turning his attention to Ocelot, "will stop provoking him. I need a united front, not a couple of bickering ex-lovers."

Arthur felt as though he'd been slapped. After all that talk of not bringing feelings into it, Big Boss was going to bring up that... _event_ of ten years ago? He righted the chair and sat down, crossing his arms. Big Boss would hear more about this later. For now, he was right. A united front was the most important thing.

"We've monitored unauthorized use of several radio frequencies," said Edik unemotionally, as though nothing had happened. "At first, they were using our own stations for it, blacking out the security cameras. When we posted extra men at the stations, they built a radio."

"And whoever it is, they must have access to some sort of vocal modifier. Big Boss first found this because he caught a transmission," said Arthur.

"Who was it to?" asked Ocelot.

"It was in Russian," said Big Boss, his eye snapping onto Edik's face. "And we've tracked down a part of the recipient: it went to the Bratstvo." Ocelot took a sharp breath. Edik looked puzzled, and Arthur's mouth turned down. "The Russian offshoot of the Philosophers." Big Boss' eye turned away, almost disappointed. He'd obviously hoped for a reaction from Edik.

Paranoia on top of paranoia.

Ocelot pulled his gun out of the holster and began twirling it around. "I've heard of them, of course," he said slowly, "but I don't see why they would be interested in this operation. Are you making moves against mother Russia?"

Big Boss stood and snapped Ocelot's gun away. "Of course not. Edik, Arthur, would you excuse us?"

"Sir... if you're going to keep him on, I've got a lot of information to give," said Edik slowly. Big Boss' only reply was a quick gesture at the door. "Yes, sir," said Edik, the disappointment clear in his voice. The man stood and walked out, hang-dog expression on his face.

"You can order him out, but I am _not_ leaving," said Arthur sourly, closing the door behind Edik. "I'm second in command here."

"I didn't think you'd want to be here," replied Big Boss evenly.

"It might have been nice for me to know some things in advance. I'll have to settle for finding out about them now."

Big Boss sat down, his eye meeting Arthur's briefly before he nodded once and turned his mind back to business. "Ocelot has been working for me for ten years. You know that," he said slowly.

" _Us_ ," interjected Arthur. Ocelot looked at Arthur with one side of his mouth slowly turning up into a smile.

Big Boss continued. "He's been working undercover for _us_. A double cross against the Patriots. Is that the right number?"

Ocelot inclined his head and shrugged.

"They've got plots inside plots, and more than enough money and people to put us all in very deep holes," said Big Boss grimly.

"So... are you saying the Philosophers are against us?" asked Arthur quietly.

Ocelot rolled his eyes. "The Philosophers aren't even pieces on the board anymore, Emmerich." He grinned and looked at Big Boss. "You should have sent him away before you brought me back to the base. It would have been a lot more fun with-"

Big Boss shook his head, pushed himself away from the table and grabbed Ocelot, throwing him up against the door. "I took you in, Ocelot. You were shit out of luck from screwing up a mission. You hurt my partner. I could have _fucking killed you_ for that, but I _took you in_. You owe me, Ocelot."

"-with people who knew what was going on in charge," finished Ocelot in a smarmy voice.

Arthur bit the inside of his lip and wondered at the violence of the response but said nothing. He wasn't exactly opposed to violence against Ocelot. He and Julie had talked about that entire episode in one of their earliest sessions. She'd set him straight about the whole thing.

"I took you in when they would have thrown you out," said Big Boss dangerously, "and don't think you got back _in_ their good graces on your own. Now. Have we done something they don't like?"

Ocelot's arms went up and pushed Big Boss' arms away. He looked at Arthur for a moment. "Not that I'm aware of. But you can't believe that I'm privy to their decisions."

Big Boss dropped his arms, shook his head in disappointment, and sat down, his head dropping into his hands.

A knock had Arthur reaching back and opening the door. Johnny and Luther came in with coffees. They gave them to the three men before being waved out by Big Boss. Arthur pushed the door closed again.

He breathed in the warm, slightly bitter smell and leaned back in his seat. "Do the Russians see eye-to-eye with the Americans nowadays?"

"No," said Ocelot quietly. "Just because the cold war has an _official_ end point doesn't mean they think it's over.

"We still need to find out who's been leaking information. The Wisemen's Committee want one of my men from FOXHOUND to deal with Outer Heaven." Big Boss took a sip from his own coffee, then made a face and pulled out his cigar case instead. He offered one to Ocelot, who took it. "Pressure from the UN," he said in disgust. "Peaceniks."

"There's been some low level evidence of sabotage, too," said Arthur unhappily as the smoke rose around him. "All small stuff, but it's building." Arthur shook his head. "I'm still not sure we can trust him, Boss. We know _they're_ involved. What if he's... triple crossing us? What if the contact's been him all along?"

Big Boss frowned and looked away.

"They've been _funding_ you," said Ocelot. "Surely you don't think-" He suddenly looked between Arthur and Big Boss and went quiet.

"Always hold something else back, don't you, Boss," muttered Arthur and shook his head. "Fine, keep me in the dark."

"We'll talk later," said Big Boss quietly. "Ocelot, I'm trusting you to find our traitor. I'm sure you know how important that is to me. To _us_ ," he said, with a sideways glance at Arthur. "If it isn't the Patriots, we need to know who it is, and we need to know fast. Our operations should be going online in..." he looked at Arthur.

"Within the year, if not a few months," finished Arthur. "If you people have been funding us, then you have some interest in the successful completion of Metal Gear, not to mention all the other work we've been doing here."

Ocelot pulled out a gun and twirled it with one hand while puffing on his cigar. "The military cells you've been training are interesting." Big Boss nodded.

Big Boss nodded seriously. "The terms I discussed before... you agree to them?"

Ocelot nodded and murmured a quiet assent.

"Good. I need to talk to Arthur. If you would excuse us? You have full run of the base, as I said before. Security downstairs will give you an access card. And mind the conditions."

Ocelot left with a flourish of a salute. Arthur turned away from the man and drummed his fingers on the table while Big Boss nodded. He waited for the door to close before he said another word. "It's amazing," said Arthur quietly, "that I can even tell the difference between sabotage and deliberate action. After all, I don't even know who our financial backers are."

"It's the same ones we've been working with for fifteen years. I just happened to find out who one of them was and what he was a part of."

"And you didn't think to mention it to me?"

"Well, Arthur, it's not as though you take anything I say about the Patriots and the Philosophers seriously. It's only been in the past year and a half that you've stopped calling it a conspiracy theory."

Arthur frowned. "And I've been taking it seriously since you got through to me."

"Julie is working with them."

"Oh for- Stop being paranoid! That's just your jealousy talking."

"You see? Everything I say about them is paranoia or jealousy or..." Big Boss shook his head. "And that's why I never told you about the Monseigneur's ties to them."

Arthur paused and tried to work backwards from Big Boss' obsession with code names. "Isn't he the Columbian? The one funneling drug money for stealth technology?" Big Boss nodded. "Why would _he_ be a part of an American supremacy organization?" asked Arthur, bewildered. Then he considered it and shook his head. " _Ocelot_ told you that, didn't he. I guess you believe everything he says, don't you."

"Do a trace on him. Get a third party to do it."

"God dammit, this is so _stupid_ -"

"It's the truth," said Big Boss vehemently.

Arthur sighed and leaned his head back. "This isn't getting us anywhere, is it. All right, I'll run my own traces on him and see if I can get anything back about the whole Patriots thing. I don't know. The closer we get to the completion of your plans, the more conspiracies you give me."

Big Boss grinned. "It's getting more complicated because we're almost _there,_ Arthur. And when we get there, people aren't going to look at us as historical remnants of memories that ought to be buried..."

Arthur smiled at Big Boss as the man's tone grew more distant. "And we'll get rid of them all," promised Arthur, a sharp and vicious note in his voice. "All the Patriots of the world. Everyone will finally be _free_."

"Once they've finished helping us to our goals," Big Boss agreed. Arthur sipped his coffee contentedly and took in a lungful of the smoke. "As soon as they're not useful to us..."


	21. I love you intermittently

_The warrior's gift is to willingly storm Hell that Heaven may remain unstained. - R. V. A. Marcell_

With the morning rain dissipating, the early afternoon was shaping up to be one of the hotter, more humid days of the year. June weather 200 kilometers from Galzburg wasn't _always_ the kind to make your hair stick to you head and your shirt to your back, but sometimes, it was _very_ nice to have air conditioning.

Papers on the desk were stacked as high as they could be, in multiple piles to avoid tipping over. They were each organized into stacks by a secretary who knew the value of keeping her mouth shut when she had an opinion, and she most certainly had many of them, given the way she painstakingly reorganized the desk each day.

Big Boss wished that Monica would just fill all the stupid little papers out for him.

But that wasn't the way things worked. Status reports and updates, new proposals, requests for purchase- not that he was accepting any more of that last kind until at least September- they all had to be filled out and analyzed and directed to the appropriate places.

As in every office, there was a shorter stack. Big Boss pulled down a report from the stack of things that had gone wrong in the past week.

"From Bludstun again? Troublemaker," muttered Big Boss. "What do we have here?" He leaned back into his seat and glared at the folder bound papers. "A whole report on _wasted supplies_?" Sometimes, Big Boss was convinced that he gave far too much freedom to his underlings. "When I said to report anything suspicious, I didn't mean I needed a report on bleach and toilet bowl cleaner... Bah. If the security department is using too many batteries, take it up with them!"

The door opened as he threw the report down onto his desk, disturbing the air momentarily and causing the stacks to tumble down into a mess of mixed up paper and folders.

"How can you be so organized in battle and so disorganized in your own office?"

"Ocelot," said Big Boss, a smile touching his lips. "Have you found our problem so soon?"

Ocelot sat down across from him, twirling his gun. "Not yet." He dropped the gun into its holster and put his elbows on some strategy files from Foxhound, then leaned his head into his hands. "Where's Arthur?" he asked casually.

"In the labs," said Big Boss. "They're running a test of the system today, and-"

Big Boss's words died on his lips as he found himself trapped between one of Ocelot's hands and his mouth. The other hand melted down his muscular chest, then pulled away and punched him once in the gut, hard.

Big Boss pushed him away. "What was _that_ for?"

"Stress relief," purred Ocelot, pushing Big Boss' arms away and finding his way onto Big Boss' lap, his legs straddling the other man. "I missed you."

"Oh." Big Boss sighed softly and put one arm around the other man, running his fingers through the soft hair. Ocelot's mouth began to tease Big Boss' ear. "We can't do this," he murmured as his eyes closed.

"So stop me," Ocelot said quietly, nuzzling Big Boss' cheek, stubbled chin against beard. Boss kissed the other man's Adam's apple instead, his eye still closed. Ocelot's fingers traced up his face to the patch, as they always seemed to do. The man was fascinated with it. Ocelot kissed the eye patch carefully, while Big Boss traced a scar down the man's side.

"How've you been, old man?"

"Had a late night with Arthur," said Big Boss, leaning back. Ocelot hissed in displeasure. "You know how things are," he said warningly.

The phone rang suddenly. "I just got here," said Ocelot. "We need to catch up. Boss kissed the other man's Adam's apple instead, his eye still closed. Ocelot's fingers traced up his face to the patch, as they always seemed to do. The man was fascinated with it. He lifted his head and pulled the patch off with his teeth. He dropped it and kissed the half-healed reddened wreckage almost reverently. So unlike Arthur, who skirted the scars as though his kisses would reopen them. Big Boss traced down one of Ocelot's pectorals to a round hard nub where a bullet hadn't been properly extracted.

They all had their battle wounds.

He started undoing the buttons on Ocelot's starched shirt. The younger man's hands went to his pants and undid the zipper as he pulled back slightly. "Not as young as you used to be," teased Ocelot quietly as he twisted down to put the limp member in his mouth.

"Had a late night with Arthur," said Big Boss, leaning back. Ocelot bit slightly. Big Boss' hand reached out and quickly squeezed a very sensitive part of Ocelot's anatomy. "You know how things are," he said warningly.

Ocelot took his teeth out of the mix and brought his hands up to scratch at Big Boss' shoulders while he sucked. Big Boss closed his eyes and leaned back again before pulling Ocelot's wrists up. The other man found himself suddenly face-to-face with Big Boss, who stared into Ocelot's eyes before gently taking the lips in his own.

"All this time," he mused, "and you're still wild."

"Only dogs are domesticated," said Ocelot with a lazy grin. He freed his hands with a quick twist and stood up, pulling Big Boss up by his shirt and pushing him to the desk. It sent papers flying everywhere, but Ocelot didn't seem to care.

"You know, I-" The phone rang. Big Boss looked at it unhappily.

"Let it ring," said Ocelot.

Big Boss shook his head, pushed Ocelot gently away and picked it up. "Dr. Emmerich is on the other line, sir."

"Put him through, Monica," he said with a frown. Arthur calling him, instead of walking a few hallways down, almost always meant a problem. Even in the labs, the other man tended to leave if he had the opportunity. The little click sounded that put Arthur through. "What's wrong?"

"Is Ocelot with you?" he asked, and then without waiting for Big Boss' guilty excuse, said, "you're going to want him over here at the test labs. You should probably come too. I have to go, see you soon, I hope."

"Arthur, what's going-"

"No, don't do _that-_ "

He hung up abruptly, leaving Big Boss with a rather confused look on his face. "Duty calls," said Big Boss wryly Ras he raised his zipper and picked his eyepatch up off of the floor. Ocelot took a moment to rebutton his shirt/R.

He opened the metal door with a sharp tug. "Monica, track down Monkey. Tell him to get to the labs," he said. The man might not be doing his job _well_ , but he was still the head of security on the base. If the situation needed Ocelot, the odds were ten to one that Edik should be there.

The blonde nodded, her hands already dialing, a professional to the core. Big Boss only hired professionals, after all.

He nodded to Ocelot and jogged out to the small parking lot, then got into a truck. He waited a moment for Ocelot to jump in and floored it to get to the labs. They'd cleared paths through the forested terrain years ago, but for security reasons they weren't straight lines. Big Boss could see a thin line of smoke rising over the treetops each time the vehicle got to one of the branched clearings and plastic signs that pointed to different areas.

He stopped the truck with a squeal of tires and jumped out several meters away from the main laboratory buildings before walking briskly to them, his eye half-focused on the smoke escaping through the vents. He opened the door and nearly choked on the thick billows, his mouth turning down in worry before hurrying back to the truck and pulling out a gas mask. Ocelot pulled out the second.

Ocelot put his mask on, and the two of them went in. Big Boss led the way through the labs, but they both looked into each door as the walked in a stalking fashion under the smoke.

"Get the vents open the rest of the way!" shouted Arthur somewhere ahead of them. "Open the ones in the roof!"

Ocelot and Big Boss went toward the voice, quickly but cautiously. When they got to the main area, Big Boss growled. If this wasn't sabotage, he didn't know what was. An oil delivery truck was in flames, the black liquid burning all over the ground. Soldiers were fighting the fires. The smoke was starting to clear, now that the overhead vents and fans had finally been turned on. Arthur, crouching under the thickest part of the black smoke, raised a hand at them and ran over, yellow hard hat held tightly to his head with the other hand. Big Boss took his gas mask off as he realized Arthur wasn't wearing one.

"What is _that_?" asked Ocelot in a small voice, looking at the metal construction in the middle of the flames.

"Metal Gear..." said Big Boss.

"It's big..."

"Has to be big," said Arthur. "It's got to carry ICBMs, some field defenses and _me_ -"

"Arthur, we've discussed this," said Big Boss warningly.

"Or some other supposedly-qualified military pilot with real live experience under his belt," said Arthur with an annoyed wave of his hand. He reached up through the smoke and threw a hard hat at each of the other two men. "At any rate, ICBM launchers still aren't exactly _small_. Keep under the smoke, I need to show you something."

Big Boss grinned as he watched Ocelot grimace at the helmet and grudgingly pull his cowboy hat off in favor of the ugly yellow construction one. How predictable- the man truly loved his hats. He put his own on and they both followed Arthur through the smoke.

"Over here, do you see this?" asked Arthur. He stamped as a particularly stubborn bit of flame licked toward them. "This was the trigger."

Big Boss looked at the little mound carefully, but it was Ocelot who spoke first. "A very careful application," he said, loud enough that they could all hear him. "He placed it just out of sight of the camera." Ocelot's finger went to the ground and rubbed it, then sniffed his fingers. "Cleaner for an accelerant... it probably couldn't be seen, and would have been very easy to place... And then..."

"A timer," agreed Arthur, as they both looked significantly at what must have been an alarm clock. "Simple enough, and I think it was just attached to a match, or a lighter. No one would have noticed-"

"-because they're such simple items. And I'd bet this corridor isn't well travelled."

Arthur nodded seriously.

Big Boss smiled. At least when it came to the real work, his lover wasn't going to hold grudges. And Ocelot wasn't going to be an idiot about it either.

"Is everyone all right?" Edik asked, appearing from behind Big Boss and reattaching his radio to his belt. "I've called in reinforcements for the fire, sirs," he said, crouching down and giving a salute. "It might take a few minutes for them to get here."

"At least ten minutes," muttered Big Boss unhappily. "Arthur, you should have called for backup," he said sharply.

"I called you," said Arthur defensively. "And I was a little _busy_ ," he added with a quick shake of his head. "Seeing as we don't want the whole project scrapped. _Again_."

Edik looked nervously at the Metal Gear and the flames licking at its giant feet. "It's going to hit ammo if it isn't put out soon," he pointed out, wiping the sweat from his brow.

Arthur looked at it briefly. "Damn it, the armor piercing bullets-" he stood as if to go towards it, but Big Boss pulled him back down.

"I can give you cover," said Ocelot, pulling out a gun and twirling it in the air.

"You want to run through fire to get closer to explosives?" asked Big Boss, both eyebrows rising. "Get the water closer to the weaponry!" he called out to the soldiers already fighting the fire. "We should have had it sandbagged," he snapped at Arthur. "What the hell were you thinking?"

"Doctor Petrovich and I were running tests. You can't do that if you're constantly telling the team to climb over bags of sand. I'm dealing mostly with scientists here, they don't have the stamina."

"That's not standard operating procedure?" asked Ocelot. "How many people knew you were running these tests?"

"All the scientists knew," said Edik darkly. "I've never trusted them..."

"Oh, half of _your_ people knew too." Arthur frowned. "And the support staff would have known, seeing as the cleaners were the ones who had to drag everything away. It's got to be someone in the general population. That idiot Schnieder-"

"Who's that?" asked Ocelot.

"Designed the base, decided he wasn't getting paid enough, left, tried to get everyone up in arms about us being here." Big Boss shook his head and pulled his jacket off. "The water's not helping. I'm going in. Ocelot, cover me if those bullets start flying."

"Yes, Boss," said Ocelot quietly with another turn of his guns.

Arthur turned a sour expression on the situation. "You don't even know how to unload it! I should go, not you!"

Big Boss shook his head in amusement. It was a weapon. Since when was Big Boss anything less than an expert at weapons? Sure, the newest technology was getting more complicated, but didn't it always? "I may be old, but I'll never be _that_ old," he said, grinning at Arthur. "You stay here."

He took a second to prepare himself, then ran through the fire. It was hotter than a gunfight, but nowhere near as painful as losing the eye had been all those years ago. His skin tightened. He ran through one of the jets of water from the soldiers to cool himself as he reached the Metal Gear, then jumped up and _yanked_ the ammunition. It came off easily enough, and he clambered up the metal siding of the TX-55 until he stood on it's head. The smoke was enough to choke him, but he threw the bullets as hard as he could towards Arthur and the rest of them.

He slid down off the machine easily, ducked again under the frigid water, then ran back through the fire to his officers.

"Well done, sir," said Ocelot. Beside him, Edik nodded.

Arthur rolled his eyes. "I think you broke it," he said sulkily, examining the metal ammunition case in his hands.

Big Boss sighed at his ungrateful partner.


	22. Under the Basement Sink

_Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo - H. G. Wells_

"Put the next tape in," said Ocelot, bored beyond belief.

The fires had been extinguished- more or less- an hour ago, but Ocelot was left with the unenviable task of trying to find the guilty party while Big Boss did whatever it was he was doing _alone_ , thank you, Sub-Commander Ocelot.

The damage could easily have been catastrophic. The Metal Gear could have been destroyed, nuclear warheads in neighboring buildings could have been set off...

Of course, they hadn't been. Arthur was a better officer than Ocelot had planned for: certainly he wasn't as good as Ocelot himself, but he was better than a number of second-class generals Ocelot had unhappily followed through the course of his career. Edik, on the other hand, was hardly a man Ocelot would have chosen had he been in charge, and was exactly the sort of man he'd expected, with Big Boss choosing seniority based on how much he liked someone. Edik seemed a competent middle-manager type of a man as opposed to a top-notch security expert.

Edik shifted in his seat, brownish sweat-soaked polyester uniform rubbing against the leatherette chair as he put the next tape into the player. "I just don't see why they're against us," he said, his light tenor voice reminding Ocelot just how _young_ all the men seemed to be nowadays.

"The question," said Ocelot slowly, "is as always, who benefits from destroying this installation, and Metal Gear..." It was also a question intimately regarding the Patriots, and the other Philosopher offshoots that had grown up over the years. Big Boss was wrong: there were dozens of the things now, not just one each with China, Russia and the US. The American Patriots and the Russian Bratstvo were simply the most powerful of them. And the Russians were dying.

"There is that guy, Schneider. He's been inciting the locals to rebel against us. And we have a lot of them doing the cleaning work. He was the architect for this whole place, so he definitely knows the layout of the camera system."

"Why did he go against you?"

"He thinks we should be working for world peace. It's all Dr. Emmerich's fault, really. Gave him a cock-and-bull story about how we were working for these lofty goals of world disarmament, then started building Metal Gear prototypes to help the Boss take over." Edik shrugged and leaned back as the tape began playing.

They _had_ been trying for disarmament for a while, not that the Patriots had believed a word of it. Some of Ocelot's missions from Big Boss had resulted in some countries being blackmailed out of the arms race. In fact, they were still gunning for global disarmament. Taking over, however, wasn't something he'd heard recently from anyone except for his _other_ employers. "Take over?" he asked silkily.

Edik shrugged again. "I only know whispers. The two of them play their cards close."

Ocelot frowned. "Their plans can't be _that_ secret," he said under his breath, "especially not from me." He shook his head and focussed his attention on the images moving on the screen. He had to find some sort of scapegoat. "Who's that?" he asked as a man in a lab coat walked purposefully past the camera.

Edik paused the playback. "That's Dr. Petrovich. It won't be him," he said. Ocelot raised an eyebrow. "Well- that is- You're right. We shouldn't count anyone out," he finished. "But Dr. Petrovich... well, it's like accusing Dr. Emmerich."

"He's that important to the project?" asked Ocelot doubtfully. That made him an even better target, really. They were keeping their plans hidden, but Arthur Emmerich was trusting a fellow scientist that much? That didn't sound like the Arthur Emmerich he knew. It didn't sound like a man Big Boss would trust. Hell, it didn't sound like something Big Boss would allow. Big Boss kept a tight rein on everyone in the organization, didn't he?

Ocelot hid his sigh. He'd judged the situation incorrectly. He should have been working on getting this Petrovich out of the picture for the Patriots personally- it would have prevented this entire little operation.

"He must be," said Edik, almost shocked. "I mean, they're always off talking by themselves in German."

"I thought Arthur wanted-" Edik looked at him curiously, and Ocelot cursed his traitorous tongue. He'd meant to say Emmerich... well, too late now. "Never mind. Gossip shouldn't interest real men."

Edik turned his eyes back to the tape player and started it again while Ocelot's thoughts turned inwards. He'd always thought Arthur's motivations were to create things for himself, and now, he was giving over his operations to others. _Why?_

Was it age? Big Boss was much older, though, and he was still spry enough to get through fire and tear off the gun from the prototype weapon. _And_ he was young enough to juggle two lovers. No, it couldn't be age, unless scientists felt older than soldiers.

But what else could it be? To pay so much attention to this Petrovich character, Arthur must have decided he was a genius. Even at that... Arthur had grown up with genius. He couldn't possibly be besotted by it now-

Besotted. Now there was a loaded word. Could it be something worse than an infatuation with genius? Arthur had never paid much attention to anyone except for Big Boss. There'd been that other man... what was his name, Granyi, Grainin...? And of course, he'd paid quite a bit of attention to Ocelot himself, especially during their little fling.

During their fling. _Surely not..._

This would have to be handled carefully. The Patriots certainly hadn't briefed him well enough for this mission, if he was only learning about major players at this point. Big Boss would not take kindly to learning that his lover was sleeping around again. If it got out, Big Boss' affair might too; he might even be inclined to drop Ocelot like spent ammunition in order to appease Arthur, and that would _not_ please anyone: the Patriots would lose their most important operative in Big Boss' employ; Big Boss would lose the more interesting of his lovers, and finally, Ocelot would lose standing. On the other hand, Big Boss might decide to drop Arthur, which _would_ provide some benefits: Ocelot would rise in rank, and the Patriots' influence over the Outer Heaven operation would increase.

In any case, it was too early to tell if it were true or not: if Ocelot said anything about this theory without being utterly certain, Arthur would certainly attack him for it. Big Boss _wouldn't_ side with him unless he had proof.

There was another thing to consider: Emmerich was an integral part of the operations here. Before the man had returned to the base, Big Boss had been despondent. It had made it possible for Ocelot to wedge his way into the older man's heart, but he'd barely done anything during the year that Arthur was with his new bride. The Patriots might want to end the threat of Metal Gear, but that didn't mean they wanted the entire operation scrapped. Besides, in the short time he'd been here, it had become clear that Arthur and Big Boss really were running this place _together_. Hurting Big Boss' dreams for nothing just didn't seem right, Patriots be damned. On the other hand, if this Petrovich character was using Arthur...

"Arthur always did have a big heart," he muttered.

He turned his attention back to the screen in time to see the two of them walk down the onscreen hallway. Arthur was holding a clipboard, Petrovich's hand on his shoulder. Edik brushed by the pair and Petrovich's hand fell to the small of Arthur's back.

As a scientist, Petrovich would have access to the building. Being friendly with Arthur might have gotten him access to the supplies he would have needed, and apparently it had already made him almost invisible as far as security was concerned. So there was means and opportunity. Big Boss would believe it if Ocelot could find a motive. As far as that was concerned... "I want to talk to this _Petrovich_ ," said Ocelot, standing. "Where will he be?"

"He has an office in the lab building. Should I-"

"I want you to keep looking at the tapes." That would mean Ocelot didn't have to continue with the dull work himself. He smiled. "I'll be back later."

"Yes, sir," said Edik dully. Clearly, he'd wanted to leave the stuffy little room with too much equipment as much as Ocelot had. In this case, however, _Ocelot_ was in charge. The tapes still needed to be reviewed, and anything Edik missed, or misinterpreted? Well, that was _his_ problem, wasn't it.

He pulled out his guns and twirled them as he left and began the short walk to the science labs, smiling briefly as a flash of Arthur's face, ten years younger and smiling in a sort of awe at his tricks, passed through his head. The idea of him smiling like that at some weak little scientist made the smile turn into a sneer. Big Boss deserved better.

Big Boss' own infidelity had only been a product of Arthur's long running inability to stay with one man: if Arthur had been faithful, Ocelot doubted he'd ever have had a chance with the man. Before the wedding, Ocelot had tried _several_ times when he knew the two to be fighting, but the man had been utterly devoted. "Love," he had said with an abhorrently patronizing look in his eye, "can't be tossed aside because of a little verbal wrestling."

And then there was Arthur, betraying his trust at every turn. He'd fallen for Ocelot, then he'd off and married that slut- though at least it had ended well for Ocelot- and now, a lowly little scientist. Petrovich wasn't even Arthur's _type_. Big Boss definitely deserved better than some idiot who was going to be led astray by someone he probably wasn't even attracted to.

He put his gun back into its holster with a flourish as he arrived at the entrance to the labs and pressed the button for the elevator. Big Boss had explained that the architectural procedures left as much of the compound underground as possible, so as to fool any orbital satellites. There were parts above ground because the people monitoring the satellites expected to see something, but the majority of the base was kept hidden. He got in the elevator and waited a moment as it began to bring him down.

A security camera looked him over for a moment before a door opened to allow him into the building itself. Inside, the entrance was filled with scientists walking back and forth, showing each other papers and pictures of results. The movement stopped momentarily as he stepped out of the elevator, but started again quickly, albeit a tad more distracted as the men (and occasional woman) kept glancing at him curiously.

Ocelot looked around for his target and frowned when he found him. Petrovich and Arthur were sitting together in a cramped, cluttered office, heads bent over the desk. Ocelot walked in with his spurs ringing, his boots clicking on the floor, then stood over them as they discussed some triviality in German.

Arthur looked up. "Ja?"

"Busy?" asked Ocelot with narrowed eyes.

Arthur looked at the papers and sighed. "You'd better keep going on this by yourself," he said to Petrovich as he stood and walked around the table. "There's a small office in the back if you-"

"Actually," said Ocelot, moving to take Arthur's seat, "I was hoping to speak with both of you."

"Oh," said Arthur, his eyes going briefly to Petrovich before resting on Ocelot. "Well. Ocelot, this is Dr. Petrovich Madnar. Doctor, this is Ocelot... our new Chief Inspector." He turned around and closed the door before realizing there was nowhere to sit. He leaned against one of the book-filled shelves instead and looked at Ocelot with a challenging frown.

"Sub-Commander, actually," corrected Ocelot. His eyes went to the table. Papers and plans covered the desk. "Dr. Petrovich," said Ocelot quietly. The smallish man looked at him, his sunken eyes flashing in his drawn face. "Where were you during today's excitement?"

"I sent everyone who wasn't necessary away when it started," said Arthur.

Ocelot sent him a sharp look. "I'd like you _here_ , but if you're going to answer questions for him, I'll have to talk to you separately." Arthur raised his eyebrows and thought better of whatever he was going to say. His mouth closed into a tight, dissatisfied line. Ocelot nodded at him, forcing the other man to nod back and acknowledge that, yes, _Ocelot_ was in control, then looked back at Petrovich. "So where were you?"

He looked at Arthur in a silent plea, but Arthur just looked away unhappily. "I came directly here," he said, his voice whiny. "All of us, the scientists, we all walked here."

"Together?" asked Ocelot.

"Yes... but I usually walk with Ar- with Dr. Emmerich. I don't think I noticed who I was walking next to on the way back."

Ocelot raised an eyebrow. It seemed highly unlikely that any of them remembered _him_ walking back, either. Which just meant he wasn't doing that. Ocelot smiled grimly. Evidence. Big Boss wanted _evidence_. He had to find or plant something on the man.

He looked at the man carefully. Frizzy hair surrounded the man's long, narrow face with high cheekbones that might have been attractive had the skin around them not been wrinkled and damaged by what must have been exposure to chemicals and radiation. Glasses too small for his face sat on his nose. He gave the impression of being slouched in his seat, despite having his back straight against the metal edges. He wore a white lab coat- or rather, it was once white. Stains had dyed the thing blue and orange. The pockets held pens and a little notebook...

"Empty your pockets," said Ocelot. There had to be something...

"This isn't really necessary, is it, Ocelot?" Arthur stepped towards him. "I'll vouch for him myself. We have work to do."

How did Big Boss stand the whining?

Pens, a little notebook, a battery quickly covered by an eraser... Ocelot leaned over and grabbed the battery, his eyebrows drawing together and his mouth turning down in a frown. "What's that?" asked Arthur, looking over in concern.

Ocelot smirked. Once again, he was the best man for the job. "It's a radio," he said softly, stroking it. "Well made. Where's the amplifier?"

"Just a battery," mumbled Petrovich, looking at Arthur beseechingly.

Arthur moved to Ocelot and took the wire-covered battery, disbelief turning into disappointment. "I thought we were friends, Dr. Madnar," he said quietly.

Ocelot grinned and picked up the phone from the table. He dialed the number before Arthur had finished examining the little home-made radio, then made a show of talking his way past Monica. "Big Boss," he said cheerfully, "I've found the saboteur. It's Dr. Petrovich Madnar. I'm in his office now."

"Really?" the voice on the other end sounded a little bit miffed. "All right. I'll be there in a few minutes." They both hung up.

Ocelot took a moment to smile sadistically at Arthur before turning his attention to the traitor. "What did you think you'd gain from them?" he asked, leaning close to the man. "What did they promise you?"

"Back off, Ocelot," said Arthur suddenly, interposing himself between the two. "This is an infraction of the rules, and you can _bet_ there's punishment, but he's not the traitor. Take a closer look at it," he said, pressing the battery-radio into Ocelot's hand. "It's low powered," he continued, without giving Ocelot the chance to look. "It's not good enough to get to the other side of the base, let alone to one of the satellites the _real_ traitor's been using to get information off to the-"

Ocelot punched Arthur's shoulder fairly lightly, all things considered. It threw off his little tirade long enough that Ocelot was able to lean in and whisper in the man's ear: "If he isn't and you speak of them, he'll be dead, and if he _is_ , _you'll_ be the one with lead in you."

Arthur rolled his eyes and shook his head. "-the enemy," he amended.

How abhorrently _bright_ of the man: an excuse of low-power to keep him away from his scapegoat. It seemed Ocelot had his work cut out for him- Arthur would be fighting this all the way. "And you think he doesn't have an external transceiver?"

"Where would he keep it? Think logically," said Arthur. "Only officers have private rooms."

Petrovich nodded furiously in agreement with Arthur. "I don't know where that has come from!" he said. "I have no radio for myself!"

Ocelot pushed Arthur aside. "This is _yours_. Not even Arthur's giving you the benefit of the doubt on that." He grabbed the scientist by his lab coat and pushed him up against one of the equipment laden shelves. "Who are you talking to?" he demanded.

"No one!"

"Ocelot, stop it!" Arthur pushed himself between them again, causing Ocelot to drop the scientist. Ocelot's hand grabbed Arthur's shirt almost of its own will, but the door opened before he did anything more. "Let me talk to him."

Big Boss put a hand on Ocelot's shoulder and pulled him away. Ocelot pursed his lips and followed the older man out of the office. "What was that about?" asked Big Boss with a raised eyebrow as he closed the door, separating them from Arthur and Petrovich. "No, it doesn't matter," he muttered softly. "I've given you _nearly_ free rein here, Ocelot," he said in a voice loud enough to be clear to Ocelot but soft enough that the scientists milling around weren't privy to the conversation. "The one thing you will _not_ do is put your hands on him."

Ocelot stared at Big Boss' lips without listening to the words as the man continued to speak. They were fine lips for a soldier: firm and thick, but not too thick. Quick to part for words or pleasure, quick to press for information or desire, quick to close on errors and lapses in judgement. "Mm," Ocelot said, as the tone rose. He shook his head slightly and moved his gaze from Big Boss' lips to his eyes.

"I need to do my job," said Ocelot carefully, trying to keep his eyes from drifting back towards Big Boss' lips. "And if that means his feelings get hurt, so be it."

Big Boss let out a gusty breath and shook his head. "You need to work on people skills, Ocelot."

Ocelot looked away resentfully. He had good people skills. His people skills were better than Big Boss' were, for that matter. He was a spy, had experience in manipulating people that Big Boss could never hope to have. Ocelot knew who to trust, unlike Big Boss, or _Arthur_ , who was busy falling for Petrovich when Big Boss was standing right outside the door. There was only one reason why Big Boss would think _he_ had more people skills that _Ocelot_. "Why do you love him more than me?" he demanded, his voice quiet but his eyes connecting angrily with Big Boss'.

Big Boss looked around nervously. "This is Arthur's domain. Keep your mouth shut."

Ocelot's shoulders slumped. It didn't matter where they were. Arthur was simply more important to Big Boss. He wasn't even the better man. It rankled...

The door opened and Arthur poked his head out. "All right. Let's just clear up this misunderstanding."

Ocelot nodded sharply, and Big Boss followed him through the door. "Clear it up then," he said impatiently.

"Doctor, please explain," said Arthur in a compassionate tone.

Petrovich nodded from his place in the chair. "It's to talk to my daughter," he said simply. "She's been living outside of the base. I'm trying to convince her to come here... it's not safe out there."

How easily they'd concocted a lie. Of course, it _could_ have been true, but Petrovich's eyebrows kept moving, a classic tell: funny how trying to look earnest always backfired. All right, fine. Ocelot held the miniature radio out to the man. "Call her," he ordered.

Petrovich took the radio uncertainly and attached a metal pen to one of the wires. "She may not be there," he said nervously with a quick, sidelong glance at Arthur. Big Boss leaned back against the door.

"I'm sure she'll be there," said Arthur with a comforting smile as he put a hand on the other scientist's shoulder. "Call her," he said amiably. He leaned over the man and stretched his arm around Petrovich. Ocelot was surprised to note that Arthur's other hand was hovering around the gun on his belt. Maybe this wouldn't be so hard.

The doctor nodded nervously and fiddled with his pen for a moment for a moment. "Ellen?" Petrovich shook his head nervously and paused. "Bist du da?"

Ocelot frowned. "Speak in English," he said.

Arthur laughed briefly. "Ocelot, he's not going to say anything incriminating in German while _I'm_ in the room."

Ocelot grunted. Big Boss grinned.

"Ja, Vati." The tinny feminine voice came through the radio.

Petrovich looked sideways at Arthur again. "Ellen, du musst von hier verschwinden." Arthur shook his head, his face turning to disbelief. "Es ist zu gefährlich, sie denken, dass ich ein Verräter bin. Flieh!"

"How dare you-" Arthur hit the battery-driven radio away. "He just told his daughter to run away-"

Ocelot grinned triumphantly. "We'll have him _and_ his daughter in chains by the end of the day!"

"No- No!" Petrovich stood up and he scrabbled with Arthur for his gun. Arthur flung the man away from him, then looked between Ocelot and the scientist in annoyance.

"What- What do you mean by that!" Arthur asked. "We're not putting him in a cell for having a radio!"

Big Boss pursed his lips and pushed himself off of the wall. "Ocelot's in charge, Arthur."

Ocelot sneered at Arthur. Arthur's eyes narrowed, then he smiled and went to Big Boss. "You know," said Arthur, "he's the best scientist we have on the Metal Gear project." He put his arms around the man's neck. "And I can't afford to lose him..." He leaned close to Big Boss' ear. "And if I _do_ lose him, I'll have to work late for the rest of the year, but if I don't..." He whispered into Big Boss' ear.

The man raised an eyebrow. "Obvious," he said with a leer rivaling any of Ocelot's old acquaintances'. "Ocelot, we're giving Doctor Madnar the benefit of the doubt. Have the men pick up his daughter. Arthur and I are going to be... indisposed for a little while. I'll leave the base in your hands."

Ocelot looked down, Rbetrayed by Big Boss' growing arousal. Arthur's hand entwined itself in Big Boss' and they left together. Ocelot scowled. Had Ocelot tried that, he'd have been pushed away. Business before pleasure.

How did Arthur have Big Boss on such a short leash?

"Your daughter will be held safely," said Ocelot, his eyes still on the door. "As long as you cooperate. If you don't..." Ocelot laughed grimly. "Your... _friend_ won't be helping you."

"Arthur always helps me," said Petrovich. "This wasn't help."

"Hmph." It wasn't fair. Arthur was sleeping around on Big Boss. On Big Boss! And yet Big Boss gave him whatever he wanted.

There had to be a way to stop it. To make Big Boss care for Ocelot the way he currently cared for Arthur. If he was confronted by the cheating ways of his partner...

"Doctor Petrovich, tell me about all the ways Doctor Emmerich has helped you," said Ocelot with a calculated smile.


	23. Laughing at Tigers

_A man must pay the fiddler. In my case, it so happened that a whole symphony orchestra often had to be subsidized. - John Barrymore_

Night had descended over the base, and it meant that the work of commanding was finished for another day. Big Boss smiled indolently at Arthur. "It's nice when you're not upset," he said, savoring the flavor of a new cigar.

"So you should keep me happy," said Arthur leaning on Big Boss and lighting his own cigar. "It would work out better for us both."

Big Boss closed his eyes.

"Ocelot kept staring at you this afternoon," said Arthur quietly.

Big Boss shrugged. Ocelot wasn't such an idiot as to do something that obvious. "You're imagining things."

"Right." Big Boss opened one eye and watched as Arthur placed the cigar in the ashtray on his night stand. "About Petrovich's daughter... I don't think we need to keep her locked up."

"Can't afford to put extra men on him, Arthur."

"I know, but-"

"Arthur, it's a command decision. Monkey's men found her, and they'll keep the girl locked up until after this is over."

"If only they could find _Schneider_ so easily," said Arthur darkly. "I still think our problem is in Edik's section."

"You've admitted before that analyzing people's motives is not one of your strong suits. Leave it to someone who has skill in that area. I'm not going to send Ocelot or Monkey to design weapons any more than I'm going to ask you to try to figure people out."

Arthur nodded slowly. "But Petrovich-"

"He had a radio. That alone gives me a reason to have his daughter imprisoned."

"If I had a radio you didn't give me, would you pick up Hal?"

"Arthur, that's completely different."

"Only because you love me."

"And because you love _me,_ too." He smiled and put an arm around Arthur to draw him closer. "We can't let the men do whatever they want without boundaries."

"No. No, that wouldn't be safe." Arthur shook his head. "The plans Aleksandr Granin and I designed in the sixties weren't so complicated though. I don't understand all of it anymore, there's so much of the newer generation technology in there. If we alienate him..."

Big Boss shook his head. "You shouldn't have let him put anything you don't understand on there."

"It's not little bits of it, Boss. It's the whole thing put together. That year he was in control of it... it was good for me, and I needed it, but- for the project..."

"Your health is more important than a piece of metal," said Big Boss, his mouth turning down into a frown. "But I would have thought you'd be back up to speed by now..."

Arthur looked away. "Things aren't like they were when we were younger. Neither of us is at our peak anymore." He grinned. "You less than me!"

"I'm not _that_ old."

"We're not that _young_ , either. Hal's going to be... sixteen this year."

"I said I'd send him a car for his birthday," said Big Boss slightly defensively. Just because he hadn't seen the boy recently didn't mean he didn't remember how old he was.

Arthur bit his lip. "Oh, that... um." He looked out the window for a moment. "Julie says you're bad for his development. She- I mean, _we_... We decided it'd be best if you didn't..."

"I can't even get him a _birthday_ present? Arthur! I-" He paused. He hadn't exactly been a second father to the boy, but even so, surely he had _some_ rights... "I _paid_ for him!"

"He's forgotten all of it, and we think it should stay that way. He should stay away from war. He's just not that kind of kid. He still likes cartoons, and... he's incredibly naive, and... I bring home models and he thinks they're toys, and... Well, Julie- Julie and I think it would be best if you didn't... you know... remind him. Of any of this."

"Any of _this_."

"Yeah." Arthur bit his lip. "It's not _you_. It's just that he... It's better for him."

Big Boss lay his head back against the headboard. "What exactly are you ashamed of, Arthur?"

"Ashamed? That's not it at all..."

"I bought him a present last year. I don't see why that should change. In fact, he should be _here_ more often," said Big Boss, crossing his arms.

"I notice you don't buy presents for yours."

"I don't _know_ mine."

"They're still family, of a sort. I mean... long lost sons. Maybe if you got to know _them_..." said Arthur, his eyes on the ceiling.

"I'd stay away from yours."

"Julie and I discussed it," he said uncomfortably, "and we think it would be best."

He shook his head. "So why hasn't this come up before?" Arthur mumbled something. "What?"

"Julie's been telling me to bring it up for months." He looked away. "She also thinks I should be at home more."

"Oh, I _see_." Big Boss smiled with narrowed eyes. "She's trying to take you away from me."

"Don't be stupid. You know I only love _you_ , Boss. But she's right. I mean, we got married for Hal and Emma. I feel like I'm not doing enough for either of them," whined Arthur.

"If you _really_ loved me, you'd never have married her in the first place."

"We've discussed this-"

"And you always end it by thinking I'm just jealous. Maybe I _am_ jealous. I don't see why that makes what I'm saying worthless."

"Not worthless. Just-" Arthur paused. "Well, you say it often enough. It's feelings, not professionalism. It's just not something I can act on." Arthur rolled over and put his hands down on the pillow, enclosing Big Boss between them. "But you know... your jealousy..." He leaned down and kissed Big Boss on the lips. "It's really sweet."

"Sweet. Why do you call me sweet? I'm not sweet."

"Bitter, then." He leaned in for another kiss, and then another.

Big Boss turned his lips away from Arthur's. "I'm not in the mood, Arthur."

Arthur rolled over and Big Boss turned his head toward the smaller man. Arthur closed his eyes for a moment, then opened one into a slit. "Julie'd be in the mood."

Big Boss closed his eyes. "You're a real shit sometimes."

Arthur laughed and slid his hand into Big Boss's. "But you love me anyways."

Big Boss turned and kissed Arthur's cheek. "Yes."

"Good." Arthur smiled contentedly. "Good night, then."

The only response was the sound of deep breathing as Big Boss regulated his body functions so that he would fall asleep. Arthur closed his own eyes and waited for sleep to strike. Instead, the sound of their private alarm hit him over the head.

"Damn it." Arthur sat up, glanced at the suddenly glowing alarm map, grabbed the phone, then dialed the number to the central switchboard. "What's going on?"

Big Boss reached over and pressed the button to switch the phone to external speakers, and Arthur put the receiver down.

"Sir! The Metal Gear- It's going nuts!"

Big Boss jumped out of the bed, pulled on a pair of boxer shorts, and was out the door in his underwear before Arthur had even taken the statement into his mind. Arthur shook his head: only the Boss would run out to do battle in his underclothes. He stood a little more calmly, pulling clothes on hurriedly. "What do you mean by that?"

"It's firing at everyone, sir," said the man on the other end of the line.

"The automatic systems," said Arthur to himself. "It has to be... We'll be there soon." Arthur shook his head, grabbed the keys to the land rover from the dresser drawer, and followed Big Boss downstairs. "Forget something?" he asked, tossing them to Big Boss who was frantically looking around the interior of the car.

Arthur got into the passenger seat and they were off. "There's something wrong with the automatic systems. I don't know what. It's firing randomly at people. It's probably going to start on the car when we get near it: vehicles are ranked higher than people."

"How much ammo does it have? We can-"

"That'll take all night; in the meantime, the base gets destroyed. We _have_ to disable it."

"How?"

"There's a control panel under the leg. If you smash it, it'll weaken the automatic systems. Bullets _aren't_ going to work on it until you're really close, you'd need a guided missile because of the angle. But the closer you get, the higher you go on its internal threat rating."

"We'll need a distraction."

"Right. I'll drive the car around it, and-" He stared at the gunfire ahead. "You may already have a distraction- they're firing at it. It's going to be looking to eliminate known hostile targets first."

"If it was working the way it was supposed to, it wouldn't be attacking. Don't count on it following the rules you set up when you try to distract it."

Arthur nodded quickly. "We're around 100 meters away. It'll be picking up on us. Pull over. I'll circle around so we don't both come at it from the same direction."

Big Boss grunted and started pulling the car to the side, but an explosion rocked them before they stopped. Arthur grabbed the side of the door as Big Boss floored it. "Change of plans: we get close to it, then you take over driving."

"Right," said Arthur, looking back over his shoulder at the crater in the road.

"Didn't feel like running there in my boxers anyway," said Big Boss.

Another screaming missile came towards them and Big Boss skillfully evaded it as they reached the clearing where Metal Gear was towering over the broken carcass of the underground labs. To either side, soldiers fired upon it, but the thing roared like an animal and batted at them with one steely fish.

"Ready?" asked Big Boss as they sped toward the giant's legs. "Take the wheel, now!" He threw himself out of the vehicle and Arthur turned the car frantically to avoid the hole before he managed to clamber into the driver's seat.

Metal Gear smashed a giant foot down behind the car. If Arthur had been able to slow down for the turn, he'd have been crushed. "Don't slow down," called Big Boss as a piece of advice to the other man, then turned to his own task.

The Metal Gear turned quickly and swiped at him with one huge metallic paw. Big Boss dodged it with a quick roll, covering himself head to toe with mud, then latched onto one of it's legs. Metal Gear shook itself and aimed one of its missiles at Big Boss, who quickly scrambled around the leg so that the only way it could shoot would end up blowing its own appendage off.

"Over here!" Arthur shouted at it as he drove by, Ocelot aiming a missile from the seat beside him. When had Ocelot got there? He thanked whatever higher power was giving him his luck and held on tightly as the machine began to charge after them, apparently ignoring Big Boss in favor of a moving high-powered weapon.

Ocelot fired at the thing's raptor-like head, missing it by a good margin. It was good enough to keep Metal Gear's attention on the car as Big Boss continued crawling up, moving back to the inside of the thing's leg.

He found the panel almost by accident as the heavy duty vehicle drove around on the now somewhat distant clearing below. One of Ocelot's blasts lit it up. Big Boss grabbed onto the machine with one hand, pulling his legs onto what might have been accesses for the scientists working on the prototype weapon, then grabbed the small handle and pulled.

He threw the panel down to the ground without bothering to look, wincing as he heard metal crunching on metal below. He didn't spare any attention to Ocelot and Arthur's escape: he had his own problems to worry about. The Metal Gear was... well, screaming was the word that came closest.

Big Boss grabbed one of the cables and pulled as hard as he could until it disconnected, then pulled another and another until the screaming suddenly stopped and the metal monster began to tumbled forward.

Big Boss swung around the leg and pushed off as hard as he could in a backwards dive, plunging headfirst towards the ground. "Boss!" he heard Arthur shout from below and off to the side. He judged his timing and was about to move into a roll to diminish his impact when he felt the warm arms around him.

They landed heavily on the ground next to the fallen Metal Gear.

Big Boss smiled at Ocelot. Ocelot smiled back, with a note of almost-tenderness that was endearing. Big Boss stood carefully after a moment too long with Ocelot's muscled arms around him. Ocelot's smile turned into a grin.

"You're too old to pull those stunts," he said, mischief in his eyes.

Ah, he loved that grin.

"You _are_ ," said Arthur, running up to them. "What were you thinking? You could have been killed doing a stunt like that! You _heard_ what the doctor said as well as I did!"

"I'm fine, Arthur," said Big Boss, a war between annoyance and a hint of guilt unfolding in the back of his mind.

"But you could have been seriously injured if Ocelot hadn't jumped for you. It even shook _you_ , I could tell." Big Boss raised a questioning eyebrow. "You would have gotten out of his arms faster if you hadn't been considering the consequences," he muttered.

Big Boss smiled at him. Those worried eyes, the nervous twitching of Arthur's thumb... He caught Arthur's hand and kissed him gently. "I'm fine, Arthur."

Arthur took a breath as if to argue, then nodded and fell silent as they stared at each other.

"So." Ocelot broke the silence. "What's going to happen with the weapon?"

Arthur turned and stared at the Metal Gear, his mouth turning down into a frown. "Well, it can't stay out here," he said, then sighed. "It'll be safest in the basement with the computers. Even _my_ design can't break through 100 floors. Well, not easily anyways..."

"Isn't that the computer that controlled it?" asked Big Boss uneasily. "It sounds like it might be _more_ vulnerable down there."

"It _can't_ be the computer... The only people with access to that area are-" Arthur sighed and turned to face the thing. "Only heads of the departments. Me, Boss- obviously-"

"Petrovich Madnar?" asked Ocelot, triumph in his voice.

Arthur turned with an angry look on his face and walked over to Ocelot. "Now, see here," he said, sticking his finger in Ocelot's face, "Metal Gear is as much his project as any of ours."

"I think your vision's a little cloudy." Ocelot tossed a casual look at Big Boss, who tilted his head in response. "You've been relying on him so much that you don't know what you're looking at."

Big Boss nodded slowly. "You said he knew details you didn't. And let's face it: your judgement about people has never been very accurate."

Arthur nodded reluctantly. "But he's still the only one who really knows the system. He's lead designer. Without him, this project is going nowhere. I'm not even sure I can investigate the cause of this without Dr. Madnar."

Big Boss frowned. "If it's in a detail you don't know, I'd say we can be certain it was him."

Arthur pursed his lips and nodded even more unhappily then before. "Confine him then." He turned and took a step towards the machine, then turned back. "But I won't stand for torture, Ocelot. You keep your hands off of him." Ocelot nodded minutely and Arthur turned back. "I'll supervise the cleanup. You two had better go and... lock him in a room, or whatever it is you do to misbehaving scientists when someone's speaking up for them."

Big Boss smirked. Madnar would be asleep now, or at least feigning sleep, and one didn't need _torture_ when one had an _interrogator_. "Get some sleep once that's in the basement. We can afford to wait on the answers," he said, his expression smoothed into a softer smile, before turning to his more discreet lieutenant with a less than warmhearted grin. "Come on, Ocelot. Let's make sure that Dr. Madnar is safely confined."

Ocelot nodded at Arthur and Arthur inclined his head back coolly, neither taking pains to keep from showing their dislike towards each other.

Big Boss sighed internally, not allowing even the small sound of disappointment to escape to his Lieutenants. Had there ever been a time when the two were friendly? It was hard to recall now... had there been this kind of tension when Ocelot had first joined them? When Arthur had first seen the gun-toting champion of Russia?

He kept himself from shaking his head and simply turned, walking towards the barracks, Ocelot trotting behind him like some stray. "I was wondering," said Ocelot quietly, "why Emmerich has allowed Dr. Madnar to take this work. After all, he's one of only two people who created the designs in the first place. Surely Emmerich has more knowledge of the inner workings of Metal Gear than some scientist who's worked on the project for a scant few years."

Big Boss sighed. "You know he took time off. You were here while he was away."

"Still-" Ocelot paused in his speech as the pair walked. "I think it's strange. Doesn't he care enough to get back into things?"

Big Boss frowned in annoyance. "Ocelot, he's beyond reproach."

"I'm not questioning _him_. But-" The greying man paused as he fought to come up with the proper words, the ones that would not offend Big Boss. "I'm worried about him," he said finally.

Big Boss raised an eyebrow.

"Don't look at me like that. I don't _hate_ him. Not that I really _like_ him much, either," he added quickly before Big Boss could tease him. "But he's a major part of this. You want to take down the Patriots. This isn't some simple dictatorship you can oust. Everyone has to be working together."

"Ocelot, I wouldn't have brought you in here if I didn't know that. The stakes are high."

"Exactly!" Ocelot's hand reached out quickly and stopped Big Boss. "The stakes are high, and Arthur Emmerich has never been one to cope under pressure!"

Big Boss looked into Ocelot's eyes for a moment. They were staring at him earnestly, trying to convince him of something he didn't quite want to believe. Big Boss turned away from them and continued walking. "He's... always been a little unreliable."

Ocelot took Big Boss' hand as they walked, and Big Boss glanced around quickly before he allowed the gesture.

"What exactly is it you think I should do, Ocelot?"

Ocelot stopped again, his hand falling away. "Send him away."

Big Boss shook his head. "No. Metal Gear can't be completed if my two head scientists are both out of action."

"You're thinking emotionally. Haven't you always said that's a weakness?" Ocelot asked in a clear challenge.

Big Boss laughed. "Oh, I see now." He threw an arm over Ocelot's shoulder, still laughing and pulled the man close. "Don't worry, Ocelot. We'll have some time together."

Ocelot only shook his head and pushed Big Boss away. "That isn't it." Big Boss smiled condescendingly at him. "Well, maybe a little bit," conceded Ocelot, "but it's not everything. Have you ever thought that maybe Arthur's-"

Ocelot looked down at the ground for a moment, then shook his head and continued walking.

"He's _what_?" asked Big Boss, half-curious as he lengthened his strides to catch up with the cat-like man in front of him.

"Never mind. I haven't got proof, and I'm not saying a word without it."

Big Boss frowned. It had to be big, for Ocelot to not say it. What was he thinking of accusing Arthur of _this_ time? He'd accused the man of disloyalty before, and he knew it wasn't true nowadays. Blindness in regards to Petrovich? But they'd all been blind at one time or another, hadn't they. It wouldn't be anything he needed proof about to say. But...

If Ocelot thought that Arthur knew about Petrovich's misdeeds... if for some reason, he thought Arthur would passively allow such things... But that wasn't _like_ Arthur, to allow someone else to take the blame for him. He'd rather _take_ the blame, be defiant about the situation once he was caught, daring someone to do something and then cowering when they did. That was one part of him that was _very_ reliable.

"You don't know him very well, Ocelot," said Big Boss quietly. "You never did."

"I did, once... but that _was_ a long time ago."

Big Boss nodded and the pair continued on in silence for a while towards the barracks that housed the scientists. The technical people all lived separately from the soldiers, more for speed than anything else: scientists were close to the labs, while soldiers stayed in areas near their posts with frequent rotations scheduled so that no one got too comfortable with any one area.

"Good cop or bad cop," asked Big Boss, one corner of his mouth turning up as he glanced sidelong at Ocelot.

"How well does he know you again?" asked Ocelot. Big Boss shrugged. "We'll wing it."

Big Boss inclined his head and allowed Ocelot to enter first. Ocelot pushed the door open with a bang. Big Boss rolled his eyes. "Did you expect to see him in the hallway?" he muttered, then gestured for a soldier who'd been assigned guard duty in the scientists' quarters to follow them.

Ocelot shot him a dirty glance and stalked forward, kicking in the door of every room as he passed. Big Boss shook his head mildly as he followed, a bemused smile hidden under his beard. "Looks like I'm the good cop."

The blond haired man kicked in another door and finally walked in. "Here you are," Ocelot said, a cruel sound touching his voice. Big Boss walked in behind him and leaned back against the wall, crossing his arms.

There were two men in the room, neither one sleeping: Petrovich and one of Arthur's other compatriots from long ago, a Geoff Bludstun, who Arthur had insisted was _vital_ to the project. Big Boss rather doubted that, as the weapons "expert" had done nothing besides administrative work since he'd come. Petrovich, on the other hand...

"Get out," said Ocelot, grabbing Geoff by his nightshirt and throwing him bodily out of the room.

"Ocelot, there's no need to manhandle anyone," said Big Boss, injecting a bit of disappointment into his voice for Petrovich's sake. "We've been over this before."

Petrovich was staring at them rather coolly, as though they didn't phase him at all. Of course, he was well treated. Why should they affect him?

Ocelot leaned down next to Madnar and said something in the scientist's ear. Madnar stiffened momentarily. "What was that, Ocelot?" asked Big Boss, genuinely curious.

"Nothing, nothing," said Ocelot. "I expect some cooperation from this traitor, that's all."

"I haven't done anything," said Madnar quietly, looking at his hands. "Where's Arthur? Where is Dr. Emmerich?"

Big Boss frowned. "You should be concentrating on yourself, Doctor," he said in an admonishing tone. "Ocelot's not as good with his temper as I am."

"My temper is fine," snapped Ocelot. "And Emmerich isn't here to save your pathetic hide this time. He's- busy. With other things." Ocelot smiled. "I bet you expected him to protect you the whole way through, didn't you," he said conversationally, tracing a finger up Madnar's cheek. The man pulled away.

"Arthur is a close friend, and I'd protect him too."

"A close friend?" asked Ocelot quietly. "You'd protect him? I don't think you have the ability to do that..." He leaned his head to one side. "I consider him something of a friend myself." His hand snapped out and grabbed Petrovich violently. A button fell from the man's clothes onto the floor. "I don't like that you're betraying him!" shouted Ocelot.

Big Boss stepped forward and put a hand on Ocelot's shoulder. "Now, Ocelot, nothing's been proven yet." Madnar bit his lip and nodded. "Even though he _is_ the only one with the knowledge and ability and opportunity to have caused our problem tonight," said Big Boss, and the doctor's mouth fell slightly open, "we still need the rule of... well, not _law_ , but lacking a better word, we'll use it."

"Can he explain it, then?" asked Ocelot dangerously. Big Boss lifted an eyebrow at the man.

"I don't even know what has happened," said Petrovich, putting a hand on Ocelot's, trying to brush him off and failing miserably. "Really, you must be making a mistake."

"A mistake?" Ocelot picked the man up one handed by his shirt and slammed him hard against the wall. "What do you think I am? I don't make mistakes."

Madnar shook his head to clear the disorientating force of his hit against the wall, then looked at Big Boss. "Big Boss, sir, you shouldn't allow this."

Shouldn't allow this? Big Boss' mouth dropped open ever so slightly. "Who are you," he asked quietly, "to tell me what I should and shouldn't do?"

Ocelot took this as a sign. He let go of the scientist and pulled out his revolver with the more dextrous of his hands, then emptied the clip. He inserted one bullet as he had so long ago. Big Boss watched impassively as Petrovich's eyes followed Ocelot's every movement.

The gun flipped around and around on his finger, a new variation on an old technique. When the first "shot" was fired, Petrovich didn't even flinch. The second was only marked by a slight tightening of the man's not-smile. On the third, the scientist blinked, and the fourth had him put a hand into a fist.

"Enough," said Big Boss, putting a hand on Ocelot's weapon and turning it away. Ocelot smiled at Petrovich, then fired. The bullet struck the metal side of the bed and rebounded off the door knob before embedding itself in the wall next to him.

Petrovich's jaw tightened slightly, but it was the only reaction.

Big Boss' eye closed for a moment. A _scientist_ , a pure man of _science_ without military training or physical strength was _not_ expected to be able to keep his cool. A doctor who'd never shown any trace of a hidden reserve of mental strength, who'd never been under the pressure it took to learn to keep himself from flinching, simply could _not_ be expected to sit unmoving while Ocelot fired upon him. While a bullet missed him by less than an inch. It was unexpected. Surprising.

Big Boss didn't like surprises.

He extended a hand to the man, who quickly reached for it, then flipped the scientist onto his back and knocked him down, _hard_ , then crouched over the man's chest. "Who are you taking orders from?" he demanded.

"W-what?"

At least he had the decency to be scared. "I don't like repeating myself. Who is giving you your orders?"

"N-no one! I don't have any orders!"

Ocelot leered down. "Why don't you give him to me? I have an excellent record in... _persuading_ people to tell me what I want to know."

"Torture, Ocelot? Arthur didn't want that, but then..." Big Boss smiled at the scientist. "Arthur doesn't have to know, does he?"

"What he doesn't know won't hurt him," agreed Ocelot, in a luxurious tone that made Big Boss quite certain he wasn't talking only about the traitor cowering beneath him.

Big Boss showed his teeth, and then fluidly moved off of the man, picking him up and thrusting him into the arms of the soldier who'd been quietly watching them from the doorway. "Take him to the bird house and lock him in there." Big Boss smirked. The birdhouse was a cramped space on top of one of the buildings, really only useful for intimidation of the various peasants who sometimes had uprisings. "The fresh air tonight will do him good."

"Breathe deeply, my friend," said Ocelot, his eyes narrowed and an insincere smile plastered on his face. "Those breaths might well be your last."

"I did nothing! I did nothing!" cried Petrovich. The soldier quickly bustled him out of the room, though they could hear the frightened yipping for almost a minute.

"We'll let him sweat it out for tonight," said Big Boss quietly, once the sounds had died away. "And one of my agents will be here tomorrow, so questioning the good doctor will have to wait until we're finished with Grey Fox."

Ocelot nodded without any real feeling, then smiled and touched a hand to Big Boss' cheek. "About what Arthur doesn't know... it can't hurt him," he said casually. "And that bed's empty, and I never managed to say hello the way I wanted to..."

Big Boss grinned and Ocelot lunged forward to smear the smile off of his face with a kiss. Big Boss pulled back and smiled again. _He_ was the one in control, and it wouldn't do to let Ocelot forget that. He laughed. "Hello, Ocelot."


	24. I Repent Tomorrow

_Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever. - Napoleon_

"Grey Fox? Remember that this mission is about stealth. Keep yourself hidden from the mercenaries on the base. Over." Big Boss sat in the room with Ocelot and Arthur, his eyes fixed on the computer readouts designed specifically to ensure the detection of any unauthorized entries to the base. Today, however, all the expensive equipment was going to be used to help someone get into the base. The trick was to get him in and out without giving him any information that was going to cause another mission.

"Understood, sir," said Grey Fox in a high tenor voice. The little dot on the satellite photos made its way out of the water. "Will contact upon infiltration of the base. Over."

"Good luck, Fox, and be careful. Out."

Big Boss set the radio to receive and watched the monitor as Grey Fox clambered over the fence and into the compound. The infiltrator looked around for a moment, then rolled under a truck as someone walked by.

"He's one of my best," Big Boss said a little fondly.

"Playing favorites, Boss?" asked Ocelot, a lazy smile appearing on his face. "You know, that could easily be what's led to your little situation here."

"He's always played favorites," said Arthur quietly. "Would have thought you'd know that."

"Only with those who are _good_ , Arthur." Big Boss smiled at the man, who was glumly looking at report documents. "And you play favorites, too." Arthur raised an eyebrow and gave a faint, rueful smile.

"He certainly _does,_ " said Ocelot. Arthur looked at Ocelot with a concerned frown before turning his attention back to the papers in front of him. "And Dr. Madnar is _one_ of his favorites. Perhaps it would be better if he weren't in the room when we question him, Boss."

"Only if you're not the one questioning him," muttered Arthur as he traced a line across a page.

Big Boss shook his head. "I already told him he could stay, Ocelot. If you had an objection, you should have brought it up last night." Arthur's frown deepened. "Have you found something?" asked Big Boss hopefully.

"No," said Arthur absently, eyes still turned to his report. "I was just thinking... you didn't come back to bed last night."

He'd gone back? The clean up effort should have taken him all night! How could he have- And he'd noticed! He suspected something. He was still carefully, studiously looking at the report, perhaps trying not to give anything away in case he was wrong. Big Boss glanced at Ocelot, who's mouth had suddenly tightened around the edges. Not by much, of course, not enough for Arthur to notice it, but... "It took longer than we expected," Big Boss said smoothly.

"As long as he's not _too_ hurt."

Big Boss blinked a few times to clear his eyes of whatever lingering guilt was in them. Arthur didn't suspect a thing. It was all he could do not to breathe a sigh of relief. "He's not, I promise," said Big Boss.

"Monkey will bring him here soon, and you'll see that he's unharmed," said Ocelot, a predatory smile suddenly lighting his face with malice.

Big Boss stood quickly. "Outside a moment, Ocelot," he said as the other man opened his mouth. Arthur glanced up, shook his head and went back to analyzing whatever he was looking at. As soon as he and Ocelot were out of the room and the door was closed behind them, he pushed Ocelot against the wall. "I don't want to see you looking at him like that," he said savagely.

"He cares more about that scientist than you, and you aren't going to call him on it?" asked Ocelot, pushing Big Boss back. "I-" Ocelot glanced up and down the hallway. "I care about you more than he does," he whispered angrily, "and if he's going to- well, I _do_ care if he hurts you."

Big Boss sighed. He put a hand on the door to make sure it stayed closed and gave Ocelot a gentle kiss. "Ocelot, you can't-"

The sharp click of a boot down the hallway forced Big Boss to pull away. They both turned in near unison. Monkey was looking quite satisfied as he led Petrovich, flanked by two small guards, down the hall. Johnny and Luther walked on either side of the man, backs straight and eyes alert, the perfect young soldiers. Big Boss nodded approvingly: a good task for children was one that gave experience while not exposing them to real danger. He wished Arthur understood that... well. He'd have to deal with Arthur's wife _himself_.

He pushed the door open and led the way in without saying a word, then took his seat at the short table. Ocelot followed quickly after and leaned against the wall beside the door. Monkey, Petrovich and the boys soon joined them.

"Sir!" Monkey gave a salute to Big Boss. "I've brought the prisoner as requested, sir."

Arthur put his report down and glared at Monkey and Ocelot before smiling a bit wearily at Petrovich. "Let's clear this up so we can get back to work," he said, his tone mainly pleasant but with an edge of impatience.

"It will take as long as it takes, Emmerich," snapped Ocelot before turning his attention back to the prisoner. Big Boss raised an eyebrow, but did nothing. It wouldn't do to reprimand Ocelot in front of a suspected saboteur. "Sit down, doctor," Ocelot said with a sneer, pushing Petrovich into a straight backed wooden chair.

Ocelot pulled one of his guns out of its holster and, with a loud snap, opened the cylinder and looked at the bullets inside. He closed it quickly and spun it around, the noise of it loud in the quiet room. He walked around the chair slowly, his eyes fixed on Dr. Madnar. He looked like nothing more than a kitten about to play with a new toy. His eyes spoiled the expression, too alert and vicious for a cat with anything but prey.

The gun began to spin on his finger, and Ocelot stepped between Arthur and Petrovich as the man looked to his superior for support. Arthur began drumming his fingers on the table.

"Do you know," said Ocelot absently, "I've been in the business of interrogation for almost twenty years now. I don't tend to be subtle about it. When you're in a position of power, you don't need subtlety, after all."

He turned his gun to Petrovich and fired, smiling humorlessly as the man cringed. "Five chambers are empty. You know of Russian Roulette, don't you, doctor?" He spun the cylinder around. "What do you think your odds are?"

"It is an independent Stochastic," said the man with a concerned look at the gun. "The probability is always one in six."

Ocelot grinned, pointed the gun at him and pressed the trigger. "Now it's one in five." His finger closed again. "And one in four." The doctor flinched as he squeezed it again. "Three."

"Stop with the theatrics already," said Arthur, jumping up from his seat. "We all know what you do, so get on with it!"

"Am I frightening you, Dr. Emmerich?" Ocelot grinned at Petrovich and put his gun away. "It _is_ too early to finish things, isn't it." Big Boss tugged on Arthur's shirt sleeve and the scientist sat down, his eyes angry and impatient.

"So. How long has your daughter been in contact with Russia and her spies?"

Arthur's chair clattered backwards as he launched himself to his feet again. "Your guns obviously aren't the only things that're loaded," Arthur said loudly. "Should I ask one? Have you stopped sleeping with people to get your promotions?"

"No, Arthur, I haven't," Ocelot said with a tight smile. Big Boss closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead. "Sit down and let me do my job. And if you _still_ can't handle watching an interrogation, then you have no business being here."

 _That_ effectively shut Arthur up. The man looked as though he'd been struck, but he righted his chair and scowled at Ocelot all the same. Big Boss shook his head. Why did the two of them have to come to verbal blows on so much? Everyone had the same purpose. Neither Arthur nor Ocelot were trying to destroy the proceedings, and yet...

"Your daughter told me she was funneling information for you. Who was she sending it to?"

Something had to be done about this. The questions were going on and on, and Arthur was taking them as one barb after another directed at _him_. Why the hell was he so worried about Madnar anyways?

"No, no, my daughter does not say such a thing. We are not sending information about Metal Gear to anyone."

"I'm not talking about sending it to _anyone_ , I'm talking about sending it to enemies. Who is she sending it to? The revolutionaries?"

"No, no, we do not talk of Metal Gear! She is not a scientist!"

"You know..." Ocelot sneered cruelly at the man. "You're right. Dr. Emmerich can't speak for her. Bring the daughter in here." Arthur shook his head in concern at the other scientist. Monkey gave a sharp salute and opened the door.

"No, no! She is having nothing to do with this!"

Monkey looked questioningly at Ocelot. "Go get her!"

"Yes sir," said Monkey, nodding at the boys, who followed him out.

"Wait, I tell you, I tell you!"

Ocelot closed the door behind them and Arthur bit his lip for a moment before letting out a small sigh and looking away. Ocelot pulled out his revolver again and spun the bullet-holding chamber around again. "We'll have to play this game with your daughter. One in six, right?"

Arthur's hand curled into a ball, clearly thinking about his own son in this situation, but he held his tongue and swallowed his anger. Big Boss smiled slightly, proud of Arthur for keeping his feelings in check this time.

"It is not what you are thinking! I-" He paused.

Ocelot stared at him a moment, waiting for him to continue. When Madnar said nothing further, Ocelot pulled out his other two guns and began to juggle them. "You know, sometimes I forget which gun was which." He grinned. "Changes the odds, doesn't it-"

"Weapons broker! I speak to weapons broker!"

"What weapons broker?" asked Arthur, looking up in annoyance. Ocelot's guns went back into their holsters and he smirked, but Arthur only had eyes for his friend. "You never told me about-"

"Quiet, Arthur," growled Big Boss, staring intently at the prisoner. Why didn't they know about this already?

Ocelot glanced at them both with a raised eyebrow as if to ask whether or not they were finished before he continued. "Where do you meet him?"

"Es tut mir leid, Arthur, aber die Welt muss erfahren"

"In English!" commanded Ocelot, punching Petrovich with a relatively light hit. The man fell under the force of it.

"You're _sorry_? Damn it, Petrovich..." Arthur put his head in his hands and started massaging his temples. Big Boss patted him awkwardly on the back and motioned for Ocelot to continue.

"You wanted to destroy the Metal Gear so you were the only one with working plans to sell, is that it?" asked Ocelot.

Petrovich shook his head. "I did not do that. Arthur, glauben Sie mir bitte!3"

"How am I supposed to do _that_?" Arthur asked coldly. "And he told you to speak in English. Don't give him another excuse."

"And even _now_ you defend him," said Ocelot, spinning around to face Arthur. Big Boss raised his eyebrows, unimpressed, but also unwilling to get between them at this point. There was, after all, the slightest possibility that Arthur had seen signs of it and ignored them because he and the other scientist were friends, and the truth was that someone had to call him on it. It was better all around if that someone didn't have to be Big Boss himself.

"I don't expect you to understand being loyal to the people you command. I'm sure you'd just as soon shoot them all in the back," said Arthur quietly. "Screw everyone over while you get higher up, don't worry about the consequences to anyone but yourself."

"I take my _own_ consequences, and if the people around me aren't smart enough to know the consequences they're earning, they deserve to be screwed. And who are _you_ to try to tell _me_ about loyalty?"

Absolutely ridiculous. Two trained officers who couldn't put their enmity aside for a simple questioning of a man who'd just admitted to selling secrets and would probably admit to sabotage if pressed enough. _Beep beep._

"We're getting off-topic," said Big Boss finally.

"Die zwei stecken zusammen unter einer Decke, Arthur, Ocelot will Metal Gear zerstören. Es liegt auf der Hand."

Arthur shook his head in frustration. "Big Boss couldn't possibly want to-" _Beep beep._

What the hell was that noise?

"I said _English_ ," snapped Ocelot, whipping a gun around his back, not even needing to look while he aimed at the man's head. "How long have you known and done _nothing_ , Emmerich?"

"You think _I_ knew something about this?" His mouth dropped open and he stood, his chair clattering against the floor again.

Big Boss shook his head in annoyance as he searched for the source of the beeping. "Ocelot, you know he had nothing to do with it. Get your mind back on the right track. I want to know about the sabotage." _Beep beep._

The radio! Grey Fox- "Shut up, all of you!" Arthur's teeth ground together and Ocelot turned to make sure that Petrovich didn't say another word. Big Boss flipped the switch. "This is Big Boss. Over."

"Fox here. I've infiltrated the base. Am heading toward the science labs for intel. Over."

"Understood, Fox. Don't stick around in there. Get the intel and leave ASAP. Big Boss out." He turned the radio off with a flick of the switch that seemed loud in the artificial silence he'd forced upon them. Arthur was looking down at the table, Ocelot still staring at the frightened scientist.

After a moment, Arthur picked up his report awkwardly. "I'm going to go."

Big Boss nodded. "Don't go near the labs," he cautioned.

"I'm not an idiot," said Arthur with a sigh, then, after a quick, disappointed look at Petrovich, muttered, "Not entirely, anyway." He shook his head and paused to look at Ocelot. "We all want the same thing, isn't that right, Adam?"

Ocelot put the gun away with another showy twirl. "I hope so," he said.

"Right, then." He looked at the door. "I'll leave this to you." He looked down, his hand on the doorknob. "Dr. Madnar... for the sake of your daughter, tell them whatever you've done. Big Boss isn't forgiving, but he's not like the-" Arthur paused and shook his head. "He's not the kind of man who destroys a man's family. If a man is forthcoming."

He pushed the door open and walked out without looking back at any of them. The door didn't close behind him though, and Monkey quickly walked in with the scientist's daughter in tow. She was very pretty, with long legs and dark hair. She had a dancer's grace, apparent even with the manhandling from Big Boss' security chief.

Ocelot leered at her for a moment. "Take her outside," he said to Monkey. He waited until the door closed. "Well, Doctor? Arthur's abandoned you. I'm sure you knew he would eventually. Your daughter's life rests in your hands."

"I did not damage anything. I only gave plans to the weapons dealer," said Petrovich, his eyes on the door, clearly thinking about the girl on the other side of it. "If I cannot research, I cannot sell. I would not destroy this chance!"

_Beep beep._

Ocelot looked at Big Boss in annoyance. Big Boss flipped the switch. "This is Fox. Do you read me? Over."

"Loud and clear, Fox. Faster than I expected. Should I set up your extraction? Over."

"No, sir. The documents here are faked, and there's someone else at work here. I've found evidence of modifications to several of the logs, and a bomb which I've disabled. Any instructions? Over."

"Standby," said Big Boss. He switched the radio off and rubbed his head. This could ruin things. How had Fox seen that they were fakes? Arthur had prepared things _personally_ last week, and Big Boss had glanced over them before giving them to his secretary to deliver to Monkey. Surely they hadn't overlooked anything...

He stood, walked to the door, and opened it quickly. "Johnny, Luther. Take the girl back to her cell. Monkey, I need you to take care of our guest. He'll meet you in Hangar A. And hurry up. He won't be wasting time." Big Boss didn't wait to watch them follow his orders: he moved back into the room. "Ocelot, bring our friend to Arthur for safekeeping. This man's a traitor, but we still need him, and if he's the saboteur, he's got a partner. I need _you_ to get to the lab and find out about the bomb and the documents."

"Yes, sir," said Ocelot, pulling Petrovich up by the lapels of his lab coat. "Let's go, doctor."

This time Big Boss _did_ wait as Ocelot left. "Grey Fox," Big Boss said as he turned on the radio. "They must have known we were coming. We need more information about this base and who's in command. Our intel has shown movement around their plane hangar. Make your way there and see if you can find out what's there. Over."

"Will do, Big Boss. Grey Fox out."

How had he known? How had he _known_! Someone had to have done something. _What_? Big Boss changed the frequency of the radio to one that Arthur would pick up and called him.

"Yeah?" came the somewhat dejected voice on the other end.

"It's me. There's a problem. Did you see anything strange when we were setting up the lab for Fox?"

"No. What _kind_ of problem?"

What could have been done between the morning setup and now? "A bomb. I've sent Monkey to take care of Fox, and-"

 _Beep beep_.

"- I've got another call, Arthur." Big Boss changed frequencies again. "Big Boss here."

"This is Fox. There's someone in the hangar, sir." _Damn_ it. Monkey wasn't the best at stealth, but he should have been better than _this_! "I've located another unguarded entrance to the base. I'll contact you again when I have more information. Over."

"Understood, Fox. Be careful," he said, keeping his tone from showing the rising concern he felt. There were half a dozen different entrances around there, and they should have _all_ had people covering them. He changed frequencies again. "Monkey, do you copy?"

"Yes, sir!"

"Fox isn't coming. There's an unguarded entranceway in the area. I want to know which one, and I want to know who was assigned to it."

"Understood sir, I'll get right on that. Monkey over."

Big Boss switched again. "Ocelot?"

"Sir. I've just delivered our prisoner to Dr. Emmerich."

"Good," said Big Boss. "Change in plans. I need you to find out where Fox has gone. He's in the base somewhere."

"Understood, sir."

He switched one more time. "Arthur, I need you to make a base-wide announcement. The last thing I need is for Fox to know I'm in charge here, and he'll know my voice if I get on the loud-speaker..."

"What's going _on_ , Boss?"

"He's somewhere in the base, and he's unchecked. Our guards must be asleep... we need to have a serious chat with them about security-"

"Attention! Attention!" Arthur's voice blasted through the compound like an elephant's trumpet. "There is an unknown security threat in the base. Code level black. Repeat, code level black." A siren began to wail through the buildings and Big Boss heard the click of the disconnect for the loud-speaker being pressed.

"Thank you, Arthur. I've sent Monkey and Ocelot to find him and take him down, but keep your own eyes open, got it?"

"Right. I'll keep my radio tuned to this frequency, Boss."

 _Beep beep_.

"This is Big Boss speaking."

"There are scientists down here." Big Boss felt his breath catch in his throat as Fox started talking. Scientists _down here_? He had to be in the basement, with Arthur and Petrovich. "They're talking about something... I can just make it out... Metal Gear-"

Big Boss waited a moment. "Grey Fox? Grey Fox?"

 _Beep beep_.

"This is Big Boss."

"Ocelot here. I've got him, sir. He's alive."

 _Thank God._ "Secure him," he said quietly. "And find out what happened. We'll discuss it all in the afternoon meeting."

"Understood."

* * *

_**Schematics for programmable logic controllers flashed by almost randomly on the massive computer screen, interspersed with ladder lines of code. The rungs flew by in front of Arthur's glazed eyes as he pressed button after button. There could be no mistakes.** _

And yet, there they were. Error after error, problem after problem. Arrays of misjudgments. Logs that counted too high, or not high enough. Faults in reasoning in all the backups. Someone had been in this system. And he knew exactly who it was. Some of the high ranking scientists had dumb terminals connected to the computer in their rooms, and those terminals all had identifiers that were logged along with changes. What the logs showed was tampering from one Doctor Petrovich Madnar. So Ocelot was right.

Damned if he'd admit that to Ocelot, though.

"Doctor Madnar, since you were selling Metal Gear to the highest bidder, you must have a proper copy of the programs," said Arthur quietly, just loud enough to be heard over the thrumming of the fans in the supercomputer.

"Yes," said the other man, just as quietly. "I have such a thing."

Arthur turned to one of the ubiquitous panels and punched in the order for the twins to come down. This was a duty that he wholeheartedly approved of, if the boys had to be around at all. Guarding a man who wouldn't _do_ anything but needed to be watched... The perfect task for boys who wanted to feel important.

"Arthur... my daughter has had nothing to do with this. You must let her go..." Arthur didn't look at the other man. He couldn't bear to. What would he say anyways? Arthur couldn't let the girl go now. She had to be held against further attempts at selling the research. Petrovich had made a real mess of things.

"Arthur?"

From this latest incident, Big Boss had at least decided the other scientist wasn't involved in the sabotage. And now there was conclusive evidence that he had, and Arthur was going to have to mention it sooner or later- why shouldn't he, anyways? Metal Gear sold to the highest bidder. What a _mess_.

"No one should have this technology except us, Doctor Madnar. We are supposed to keep the world safe from it. It is our _responsibility_ , doctor. Don't you understand that?" asked Arthur, again, no louder than the background noise. There were recording devices everywhere, and whether they were necessary or not, Arthur had no wish to have his words on review at the next monthly status meeting.

"The world has a right to know, Arthur," he said, his Russian-accented German sounding harsh.

"And when our children are destroyed because _governments_ have our technology? Big Boss won't use it like that, but there are governments that won't hesitate to create a world of destruction. Is that what you want? For the whole world to be destroyed?" It was difficult to keep his tone low and even.

"That isn't what would happen, Arthur," said Petrovich. "It would trigger another cold war. We would all be important again! No more hiding in little bases in the middle of nowhere without support from our countries..."

"And what if the war isn't cold? We aren't ready to defend ourselves or our families. You wanted to risk that to bring back the good old days?" And how strange that was now, to call them the good old days. When everyone had worried that the next day might bring nuclear destruction... when no one was sure how old their children would grow... how good _were_ they? For research, they'd been exciting. For old soldiers, they'd been strengthening. But what about for people like Hal, or even Petrovich's own daughter? Arthur shook his head- it _would_ be a better tomorrow for them too, with the renewed economy- and sighed. "I understand what you want, but Petrovich, you're naive if you thought it would return just like that."

Before Petrovich could answer, there was the hard sound of a soldier's boot from the hallway.

"Doctor Emmerich," said Edik, mild surprise mixed with pleasure in his voice. "I was hoping I'd find you down here, sir." His tone shifted suddenly to one of slight unease. "I've seen something in the tapes that I thought you'd want to see."

"Ah. Well," said Arthur, returning to English, "Ocelot's in charge of the investigation." _Arthur_ was apparently useless at it. He hadn't seen betrayal in his closest... well, not friend, perhaps, but certainly the closest of his associates here on the base.

"Sir... I really think it's important for you to see it before he does. I thought, perhaps, on the way to the meeting, you could review it, sir. With the way things are between you and Ocelot, I'm a little bit worried that there might be a... a conflict of interest, sir," he said uncomfortably. His face turned in on itself for a moment as though trying to decide whether or not to say more.

Arthur nodded slowly. A conflict of interest with Ocelot? It certainly wouldn't be unexpected. The man was... unethical seemed a rather mild epithet for the man, but Arthur wasn't sure what word would suit him. Evil? But if Big Boss trusted him, that was probably too strong...

"Sir!" Twin voices and salutes came from the door behind Edik.

Arthur's gaze turned back towards Madnar. The man was sitting sullenly, obviously not happy with Arthur's words. "Petrovich, go with the boys and get the plans you stole. Johnny, Luther, don't let him alter anything. Keep him in my office. Understood?"

"Yes, sir!" said the boys, happy as ever to be put to work.

Arthur watched unhappily as the three left. Children playing at being soldiers. And what were Hal and Elena Petrovich supposed to do, when children ten years younger than them were being soldiers? Would they be the innocent victims, dead because men like Petrovich stole plans? Because people were willing to sabotage the base?

He sighed heavily and stood with a nod towards Edik. "What is it you wanted to show me?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to donatien1740 for correcting some badly auto-translated German!


	25. So Fucking Special

_Faith is not belief without proof, but trust without reservation - Elton Trueblood_

"Took you both long enough," muttered Big Boss as Arthur and Monkey finally arrived fifteen minutes late to the meeting. They'd ignored his summons and wasted time for both him and Ocelot.

"Sorry," said Arthur unapologetically. He seemed pale, his breathing shallower than normal, though no more frequent.

"Are you all right?" asked Big Boss with quiet concern.

Arthur shook his head. "Later," he mumbled. "We'll talk about it after the briefing. Let's get on with it, we've all got things to do."

Big Boss smiled ruefully. He was right about that. No use in delaying things any longer than they were already delayed. "Alright. First things first. We're going to have another visitor, and this time, I don't think the UN is going to be satisfied by false documents."

Monkey nodded. "Have you chosen your operative, sir?"

"One has been chosen _for_ us," said Big Boss slowly. "A rookie. Well, as far as you can have one in Fox Hound. He's good, worked with the Green Berets in the gulf. Distinguished himself, as did his brother. Code named Solid Snake."

Arthur whistled softly. "It _is_ them," he breathed.

The Patriots. They knew it was Big Boss out here. That they had already chosen _his son_ , Solid Snake... they had decided to clean up the operation, to get rid of them all. It was obvious. Big Boss glanced at Ocelot to see his reaction, but the man was giving nothing away.

"What are his orders?" asked Monkey.

"He's to bring us down," said Big Boss. "It isn't a fact-finding mission like it was with Fox. He's here to neutralize the base. So we don't have a choice with our response." The corner of his mouth went up. If the Patriots thought he'd go down just because the man- really just a kid- was his son, they weren't as smart as they thought they were.

But then Arthur shook his head. "You're going to order his death?" asked Arthur quietly, a hint of old bitterness creeping through his voice like some injured animal. "David's your son, acknowledged or not. You can't do it."

Big Boss looked at the table and sighed slightly. He should have known that this was going to be a problem for Arthur: the man thought the word 'family' was on par with the word 'research', and he would never advocate abandoning either of them. There wasn't a choice though, not even for _his_ feelings. "I'll try to find another way," he heard himself say despite himself.

"You have a son? Sons?" asked Ocelot.

"They're just _clones_ ," said Big Boss.

"Just-? Oh, but you think you should have access to mine," said Arthur in annoyance.

Ocelot glanced between them in surprise, while Big Boss glared at Arthur. In front of _Monkey_ no less!

The man in question looked down for a moment then smiled a little bit uncomfortably with a glance at Arthur. "Speaking of that..."

"Not right now, Edik," said Arthur, falling in on himself a little. "What else is on the agenda for this meeting?"

Big Boss looked at Arthur for a moment, trying to assess the problem. Something to do with Big Boss? Or something to do with Arthur's son? "Right then." Or both? There was no reason to sit around guessing. From Arthur's looks, he'd know at the end of the meeting and not a moment before. "Ocelot, what did you find out?"

Ocelot nodded, and after giving Arthur and Monkey a cursory, disapproving glance, started his report. "There are several points of interest, Boss.

"First, the bomb. It was placed very conspicuously, but as before the location was where the cameras couldn't see it. This leads us to someone who knows the area intimately, or someone who is extremely observant. Arthur, is there anyone on your staff who knows the locations of the cameras?"

"All of them?" Ocelot nodded and Arthur thought to himself briefly. "No. There are several in hidden locations. My staff knows that, and some of the more observant might have seen me glance towards one or two of them, but none of my staff knows them all. _Yours_ do, Edik," said Arthur.

Ocelot nodded again slowly, his eyes blank and lazy. "Second, then, the papers. Highly detailed forgeries, Arthur, with all the right wordings. Commendations. It would have put the UN off for at least a year. A pity someone placed another highly detailed forgery that proved them all wrong even to a layman's eyes."

" _My_ staff couldn't have done _that_ ," said Monkey. Somehow, the venom in his tone seemed less... poisonous today.

"So we are looking at a team," said Ocelot in seeming agreement.

Monkey nodded thoughtfully. Big Boss did the same. It seemed to fit. There were few people who'd be able to pull all this off: a team made the most sense. All it would take would be a little observation. Most of the scientists and soldiers didn't spend time with each other. Of the few who did, certainly they could be watched.

"However," said Ocelot with a small sigh, "I don't think it _is_ a team."

Big Boss raised an eyebrow. "What do you think it is then?"

"I think that we're dealing with two independent operatives. One of whom is Dr. Madnar."

"I thought you'd _finished_ questioning him," said Arthur darkly.

"Yes, Arthur. I have finished questioning him," Ocelot said with a superior smirk. "But the false papers were planted in your documents _yesterday_. To get his buyer's interest, Dr. Madnar would have had to advertise. What better way to do so than to make sure that the UN had information about your activities here? In fact, it would have been a zero-risk activity for him: you would still be protecting him here."

Arthur muttered something under his breath that Big Boss chose to ignore.

"And you think they're working independently because the other one actually _does_ want to destroy the prototype?" asked Monkey.

Ocelot closed his eyes. "Among other things," he said quietly.

Big Boss nodded. "Good enough," he said. "Now, about Fox. How did he notice you, Monkey?"

"Sir, he was trained by you, and you've said he's good. I'm afraid I'm just not good enough to defeat him. Or even evade his notice," he said, an annoyed look on his face. "The man seems to have an almost psychic ability to know where people are."

"Psychic? Hmph. That's just what men who don't train always say," said Ocelot, Arthur nodding along with him. Big Boss had seen enough in his lifetime to know that there were some people who did have those abilities. Of course, he'd _also_ trained Grey Fox. Paranormal skills had nothing to do with his detection of Monkey.

Which just meant that, out of all his people, he couldn't send Monkey to fight with Solid Snake, when he came. His ranks were already thin when it came to people he could send against a clone of _himself_. He wasn't egotistical, but with Solid Snake's background, it was going to be difficult to defeat him without killing the man... Shoot Gunner, perhaps? If they took him down without killing him but left him on the UN's doorstep, they might think twice about sending another man...

"So is there anything else?" asked Arthur, interrupting Big Boss' internal musing.

Ocelot shook his head. "Not for now. Unless you have more information about last night's unpleasantness...?"

Arthur looked away. "Nothing substantial, no," said Arthur. "Problems in the code, but if someone really understood the system, they'd never have done the changes I saw." He shook his head slowly and then looked at Big Boss and Monkey. "The two of you have anything further?"

Monkey shook his head. Big Boss grinned. "Looks like _you_ can get on with finding out about who on your team was near the labs to plant a bomb," said Big Boss.

He saluted. "Yes sir," he said snappily and stood, then paused. "Arthur... Should I stay?"

"No, thank you. Big Boss and I are going to discuss it alone," said Arthur quietly, his voice very serious sounding.

Ocelot stood up. "I'll get back to my investigation then," he said.

"Wait," said Arthur. "I've got something to say to _you_ , too."

Big Boss sat back. Arthur wanted to talk to Ocelot with Big Boss as his witness? What could it be about _except_ for- but how would Arthur know? No, better question, how could _Monkey_ know, since it was undoubtedly him that told Arthur. They hadn't been so close as to be obvious in the hallway, had they? Surely-

The door closed with a thump and Big Boss waited for Arthur to begin his tirade.

Instead, his lover pulled a tape player out of one of his ubiquitous lab coat pockets and pushed it towards Big Boss. "Security recorded this during the incident with Frank. Grey fox," he said with a nod towards Ocelot.

As Big Boss was staring at it dumbly, thinking about how lucky he was, Ocelot took it and pressed the play button. Most of it was static, and the voices were entirely unrecognizable, but you could pick up the odd word. "...Emmerich ... stabilize ... do..."

Another voice responded. "Best way ... son, Hal ..."

"...know ... investment ... boy ... sufficient?" asked the first voice, hoarse with the static.

"...paranoid ... nvolved thanks ... debacle ... enough..."

"Do ... need ..."

Silence descended upon the three of them for a moment. "I know one of these voices is from one of the Patriots. And the other is someone on this base," said Arthur heavily, his eyes glued to the door so that neither Ocelot nor Big Boss could see his face. Big Boss _could_ see his hand though, slowly tightening into a fist and then flattening back out into a palm. "Are either of those voices _you_ Ocelot? Or anyone you know?"

"I can't recognize them any more than you can," responded Ocelot automatically as he put the tape player down on the table in front of Big Boss. "There's distortion all over it. As you'd expect from it. That you can hear the words at all is-" Ocelot paused, then sat down and took his hat off. "They wanted you to hear it. The question is why."

"They want to bring us down," said Big Boss carefully, "so they're trying to separate us. We'll have them flown here."

Arthur turned around. "No. Hal isn't getting within 100 miles of a military base. _I_ have to go there."

Ocelot shook his head. "He's right," he said. "For whatever reason, they want you out of here. Whatever branch it is, they want you gone. You can't allow yourself to be manipulated so easily. The intent is most likely to use you as a hostage against Big Boss."

"Or to use Hal as a hostage against us both," Arthur retorted.

"Arthur, I don't want you leaving this base," said Big Boss simply.

Arthur shook his head. "Boss, I've thought about it. Maybe not as much as you'd like, or in the directions you'd prefer, but enough to know that my only option is to go home," he said almost pleadingly.

"It's a bad idea. Bring the boy _here,_ " said Big Boss, his forehead crinkling as he thought briefly on the possibilities that could become realities were Arthur to leave the base. Most likely, they would use the opportunity to kill the man, seeing as his skills in self-defense (and offense) hadn't advanced any in the past twelve years. Tactics didn't count when a man was fighting for his life- and that of his child, because even if they didn't attack Arthur directly, Hal would be more than simple for them to pick up. "I'll send a plane. Three pilots, five guards: they won't be able to get at him even if our luck is bad and we send our traitor. It's perfectly safe for him here, Arthur."

"Safe." Arthur shook his head. "With _your_ son coming by to try to destroy the place, you're going to call Outer Heaven safe?"

Big Boss shook his head slightly, trying to figure out what to say to that. Ocelot took up the slack. "Just because this 'Solid Snake' has the Boss' genes doesn't mean he's going to win. Big Boss has experience. This boy's no more than a recruit to him."

"Ocelot, I'm only telling _you_ out of professional courtesy," Arthur said, his tone hardening. "Because I'm certain it's you who'll have to deal with being his second in command while I'm gone."

"He won't be, because you're not going," said Big Boss, shaking his head. "We'll bring him here."

Arthur grit his teeth for a moment, then sighed. " _Them_?" he asked. "Emma and Julie will have to come too."

"If they absolutely must," said Big Boss sourly.

"Fine," said Arthur. "I'll call them and arrange things." Big Boss nodded curtly. "But _I'm_ going to pick them up."

"Arthur-" Big Boss started and then stopped. Compromise, that's what it was about. As long as Arthur wasn't going to _stay_ away, it couldn't be dangerous for him to be gone for a day or two. Solid Snake wouldn't be attempting his infiltration tomorrow- the Patriots had been well prepared, but no one could start a mission _that_ quickly. There wasn't anything that Arthur alone could do on the base. And then- he glanced at Ocelot- there were some fringe benefits, too. "You'll take a tracker with you?"

Arthur nodded slowly. "If I don't, you'll insist."

"Boss," said Ocelot tightly, "this isn't a good idea. Why don't you let _me_ go?"

"I'm not just his commander, Ocelot. I can't order _everything_ to happen. And if his family doesn't understand what he does, I don't think they'd go anywhere with you. You're a bit much for civilians."

"But-"

"Drop it," said Big Boss. And that _was_ an order.

All right then, this was going to be a target that the Patriots wouldn't ignore. They'd proved they could get access to the base, that they could destroy whatever they wanted with relative impunity... "Take two F16s and the jet. Two pilots for the jet, and you can act as a co-pilot if anything happens."

"Co-pilot?" asked Arthur, dismayed.

"Co-pilot," said Big Boss firmly. "And I want a link."

"A what?" Ocelot asked.

"New technology one of my teams developed," said Arthur. "In conjunction with the tracer and detailed satellite maps, you can monitor life signs and the location of an operative. We're going to use it in-" He paused and looked at Big Boss. "You don't mind me telling him?" he asked incredulously.

Big Boss shrugged. "He's about to know everything about our operation." Probably already did, really. Big Boss didn't buy the questions. He had to be more deeply involved with the Patriots than that.

And what if he was? The trace could be a two-way street: sure, he could find Arthur if something happened, but... _they_ could find him, too. Had Ocelot just manipulated them into this? Had Ocelot said nothing, could he have kept Arthur on the base? Who knew manipulation better than a spy? And who knew Arthur better than an ex-lover?

Ocelot seemed genuine in his wish to help them by finding the traitor, and he'd certainly latched onto a suspect quickly. This was generally a good thing: Ocelot had been proved correct. But something about the way he was acting touched off a spark of suspicion inside of Big Boss. He couldn't even narrow the feeling down to a specific event or action.

It just felt as though there was _something_ wrong.

Arthur had finished nattering about the missions they were sending people on for the cause and was looking at Big Boss expectantly. "Be quick about this, Arthur," he said uneasily. "Get your boy-" he shook his head, "your family, and then come back."

_I have a bad feeling about this._


	26. All I See Is Mud

_Politicians are the same the world over. They promise to build a bridge where there is no river. - Nikita Kruschev_

Big Boss was still play-fighting with the children in the courtyard. Ocelot had been looking at tapes of the security area for the past two hours, and in all that time, Big Boss hadn't stopped teaching the boys about martial arts. It was almost 8 o'clock, and they hadn't eaten dinner yet. Children weren't used to that. Was he going to let them go in the next hour? Children should be complaining. The only time children didn't complain was when they thought they were doing something important in the grown-up world.

And Big Boss was _watching him through the windows_. Ocelot had only noticed _this_ little development around ten minutes ago, and he'd found it impossible to continue his work. This was becoming entirely unsettling. He wasn't quite sure what to do about it, either.

He was used to being mistrusted, of course. It was hard to work in espionage and not be mistrusted by the people you were spying on every now and then. But this time... this time he actually cared about keeping the man's trust. It wasn't just for the Patriots: he cared about Big Boss for his own sake, too. There was no bigger ace in the hole than Outer Heaven, when dealing with the Patriots. For that matter, there wasn't one bigger than the Patriots when dealing with Big Boss' upstart army.

He swirled his drink around and tried to think as the ice made loud clinks against the glass. What had he done to lose Big Boss' trust like this? Or was the man just becoming paranoid? No, that wasn't like Big Boss at all... It was Arthur. It had to be. He and the Boss had spoken privately before he'd gone. The problem was this: if Arthur had spoken against him to Big Boss, how could Ocelot fix the situation?

It depended on what Arthur had said. If he'd gone to Big Boss with an emotional _I don't trust Ocelot because he's a bad person_ sort of statement, it would be fairly easy to counteract his words. A few references to the psychiatrist wife would be enough to convince Big Boss that Arthur had little ground to stand on. On the other hand, if Arthur- or Edik, really, because who knew if the security man had been holding out on him- if either of them had found he'd been dealing with his own radio transmissions while that damning little message was sent, he could be in a lot of trouble.

Of course, it still begged the question of how the transmission had been discovered. Ocelot's Patriot contact was off-base somewhere in Galzburg itself, and neither one of them had had any intention of having the thing found. Had they? The contact hadn't exactly been forthcoming.

Ocelot sighed silently. He wasn't getting any work done now. They had that tape, and there was no way to have it unheard now. And whatever Arthur had said, it was bound to be bad, and there was nothing to do but confront it. At least with the man gone, Ocelot could start doing some damage control.

With that decided, Ocelot quickly pushed papers into a folder which he took with him as he stood and left the small security room. He opened the door to the outside, and the humidity hit him like a wave.

Big Boss and the boys fought on as though none had noticed he'd left the building. Ocelot knew better. He walked over to them, pulling his guns out and twirling them around. "You're out here late, Boss."

"Ocelot!" Big Boss said, a half-smile appearing on his face. "Feel up to showing these kids a real fight?"

Ocelot calculated for a moment in his mind. Fights were good for getting someone to give you information and, if done properly, were also good for camaraderie. Done poorly, you just got your head handed to you on a plate. "All right, Boss," said Ocelot, putting his guns in the holsters. He could see that Big Boss had no guns on him. "Quickdraw?" he offered. After all, one doesn't just _offer_ to get one's head handed to one even for the sake of a superior's ego.

Big Boss grinned, his eyes narrowing.

"You love your own guns too much, Ocelot," he said, and without further warning, rushed at the other mercenary like a wall of muscle. Ocelot was slighter, and fell under the power of the older man.

"You love your lieutenant, I'll stick with whips and chains," said Ocelot with a grin. Slighter meant more maneuverable: Ocelot turned, twisting around until he could reach his guns, then kneed Big Boss hard in the groin.

Big Boss barely noticed the attack. He grabbed one of Ocelot's arms and twisted it around, forcing the other man to drop his gun. "Funny to hear you talking about chains. I've been thinking I need to put cuffs on someone," he said, the smirk obvious in his voice.

"Oh, I _do_ hope it's me, Boss," said Ocelot. He turned and pulled Big Boss' belt off, then wrapped it around the larger neck and pulled. "I don't think Emmerich would enjoy it nearly as much."

Big Boss choked as his fist sailed by Ocelot's cheek. The passing breeze knocked Ocelot's hat off. Ocelot scowled and rolled backwards to pick it up. "No," said Big Boss, rubbing his neck and taking a deep breath with a rueful smile, "he wouldn't."

"Speaking of Emmerich..." Ocelot took a moment to get back into a fighting stance.

Big Boss did the same. Even without a gun and knife combination, the man was deadly... but then, so was Ocelot. "What?" asked Big Boss impatiently.

 _I think he's sleeping with Petrovich, despite your single-minded devotion to him instead of me?_ No, that wouldn't get him anywhere. _Do you remember how Arthur can't tell the cowboys from the indians?_ No, that would just remind Big Boss of Ocelot hurting the other man. "Strange that he trusted Petrovich so much. With Petrovich being a traitor and all."

"We all make mistakes," said Big Boss. His eyes narrowed as he looked for an opening in Ocelot's defensive pose. Ocelot followed Big Boss' lead and looked for any hint of weakness in his opponent's gaze. "Most of them have to do with trusting the wrong people. I'm sure you've never made that mistake."

There was that one thing... Big Boss kept looking over at the boys to make sure they were still watching... So all Ocelot really had to do was- Distracting words, then an attack! "What's more dangerous: trusting your enemies, or not trusting your allies?"

Big Boss looked taken aback by that- perfect- and Ocelot ran behind one of the boys6. "Taking tips from Dirty Duck?"

"That man has _nothing_ on me!" said Ocelot quickly. What an insult! _That_ man would have trouble beating... beating _Emmerich!_ Ocelot crouched down as both boys turned to look at him. Big Boss walked deliberately towards the three of them, but Ocelot paid that little attention. His focus was on putting the blanks he always carried in his front left pocket into his backup gun.

Ocelot's focus on reloading was so strong that he didn't even notice the strange, innocent, vicious expression that only the young can affect until he felt himself bowled over by not one but _three_ bodies.

"Admit it, Ocelot: you like being under me," said Big Boss with a smirk.

"You know I like to be on top," he said, baring his teeth at the children. "Just to establish things," he said, leaning up to mutter into Big Boss' ear, "your room or mine?"

" _Yours_ ," said Big Boss with a look of mock-terror on his face.

 _Of course. Can't let our dear Emmerich know you love someone else._ Ocelot felt his anger rising, and it gave him the strength to push the boys off as he tumbled Big Boss into the grass.

Big Boss rose quickly, the mud making an odd sucking noise in protest. His eyes were full of the heat of battle. Ocelot aimed his gun from his position on the muddy ground and fired. Big Boss dodged the bullet- _dodged_ it! _-_ with an annoyed scowl on his face. The children looked at Big Boss with awe. Stupid kids.

Ocelot tipped his hat and blew the still smoking end of the gun with a smirk. Big Boss dropped his scowl and rocketed into him.

They fell into the grassy mud and Big Boss's hand was suddenly around Ocelot's gun. His other arm immobilized Ocelot completely with a bear hug and Big Boss hovered over him like a possessive lover. Ocelot felt his grip on the gun failing and he scowled.

"Looks like I lost," he said disgustedly. To be able to do that when you were pushing seventy...

"You have to lose eventually, Ocelot. When it comes down to it, you don't want to win."

"That was pretty cool," said one of the boys. The other nodded mutely, looking at Ocelot with awe and appreciation in his eyes. "I've never seen anyone get so close to finishing Uncle One-Eye."

Close? That was _close?_ He'd done better the first time he'd faced the other man back in Rassvet.

"I'm still unbeatable," said Big Boss with a smirk on his face as he helped Ocelot up off of his back. Ocelot smiled back at him, not out of happiness but an attempt to cover his annoyance. To be defeated by such a move- hadn't he moved beyond that yet?

"He got pretty close to beating you," said the other boy shyly.

Blasted children, watching him get defeated by Big Boss. Granted the man was perhaps _the_ foremost mercenary of his time and would probably be for a long time to come, but _damned_ if an Ocelot would accept defeat from a Snake!

Not that he could do anything about it just now, pinned as he was beneath Big Boss's weight as though he were a child himself. "I let you look good in front of your child prodigies and this is what you say to me?" muttered Ocelot grudgingly.

"Can I see your gun?" asked one of the boys. Ocelot scowled at him, but it wasn't enough to keep the brother away from his last gun, still in the mud.

"It's almost as cool as Monkey's," he said confidentially to his brother.

"Almost..." Ocelot glared. " _Nothing_ compares to the elegance of a six shooter. And there's _nothing_ like reloading in the middle of a battle." Big Boss took a moment to look disdainfully at the etching on the barrels as Ocelot tore the thing out of the boy's hand. "And these are going to be collector's items someday. What have you been teaching your wannabe soldiers?"

"Grump's got a gun that doesn't make a sound," said one, his black hair muddy from all the mini-battles he'd been in. "That's way cooler."

"But he's an idiot," said the other. "Talking to himself like that all morning. He couldn't beat Uncle One-Eye. Not even close. Mr. Fast Shooter is way smarter."

Fast shooter? Now that was absolutely uncalled for. He _always_ took his time. He- Well, at least that was... accurate, in a certain light.

"Talking to himself?" asked Big Boss. "What about?"

Fast shooter could even be considered... complimentary, coming from little kids.

"Yes Man, mostly."

"Yes Man?" asked Big Boss.

"You know, your best friend," said the muddier of the boys. "He always says yes."

Ocelot mind froze solid. Surely not. Surely- He could feel laughter bubbling up. _Yes Man!_ Arthur Emmerich! Well no _wonder_ Big Boss liked him better! His mouth was twitching, and it was horrible, because he could see that Big Boss was taking this absolutely seriously. No, no, _Uncle One-Eye_ was!

"What was he saying, Luther?"

"That Yes Man had to go somewhere," said the boy.

"And Mr. Fast Shooter had to prove something," added his brother.

The laughter died as suddenly as it had come. Even that idiotic security man thought he had something to prove? Didn't anyone in this place have the common sense of a flea circus? If he'd wanted to destroy Big Boss' hopes and dreams, he'd have done it a good long while ago. What he was doing right now was going to leave Big Boss able to continue his work for years to come. Losing Metal Gear was only a tragedy for Emmerich and Petrovich.

His face set into an angry scowl and he started walking toward the compound. How _dare_ that man question his loyalty? Bad enough to think it was Emmerich, who was at least a major player in the game, but the damned security so-called expert who hadn't found a man with a damned _radio_ was the one saying he was the bad guy?

No!

Before he even noticed what he was doing, he'd emptied the blanks from his gun and started refilling it with live ammunition. "Ocelot!" God damn it, he'd only been sleeping with the man for four years. What had either of _them_ done for him? "Ocelot!" Well, Arthur'd slept with him for almost twenty now. But that was really beside the point, that didn't _count_ , Ocelot had seen him _first_ and-

" _Ocelot!_ " Big Boss' hand fell heavily on his shoulder and spun him around. Ocelot stared at the other man whose eyes looked suddenly panicked. It calmed Ocelot slightly to see that look in his eyes. "Why did you run? What are you proving, Ocelot?" he asked urgently.

"My loyalty to _you_ , obviously," Ocelot said sharply. Second hand information. That _bastard_. He'd told Arthur something and then Arthur had told _that_ to Big Boss which gave it all the credence in the world- He should have seen it, with the two of them coming in at the same time. And hell if this wasn't a damned power struggle! Ocelot wasn't _trying_ for his position! To say that Ocelot was a traitor- Who the hell was _he_ to question Ocelot?

"Your loyalty's not in question," Big Boss said finally.

Oh, could he be any more convincing?

Ocelot's face must have reflected the thought. "It's not, Ocelot. I trust you. I sent you to work with the Patriots; it wouldn't be fair for me not to trust you for dealing with them. I thought maybe he was a part of them. You ran off like that... I thought he'd given something away."

Edik, a Patriot? Ocelot shook his head. "I don't know who's working for them."

Big Boss looked down for a moment. "Ocelot, I trust you." Ocelot shook his head. "I _do_. You're the best man I have here."

Ocelot sighed. "Boss... you trust _him_ , not me," said Ocelot. "If there were ever a choice between us-"

"There is no choice between you," he said vehemently. "There won't be one."

"Prove it. Tell Arthur about us."

"I can't do that."

"Hah!"

"But I can do _this_ ," he said, and suddenly his mouth was on Ocelot's. Ocelot moaned into it as Big Boss's hands proved they were every bit as quick and talented as his mouth.

Ocelot pulled back. "You think I'm a traitor and you do _that_?"

Big Boss shook his head. "I know you're not a traitor." One of his hands fished a tiny bit of red plastic out of a pocket. "This is for you. It's like the one I've got for Arthur. You can find me anywhere with it. I couldn't give it to someone I don't trust."

Ocelot glanced at it skeptically. "You could just turn it off."

"That'd _terrify_ Arthur. If it goes off, it means I've stopped breathing."

Ocelot looked at it for a moment. Little blinking lights, latitude and longitude and even a little GPS map attached to it. But what was trust? Was it really a gesture of trust to give something like this to a man who posed you little threat? "I don't want yours, I want _his_. Arthur's."

"If I give you _mine_ , _I_ won't have one."

"You don't think I'd tell you if something happens." Ocelot smiled slightly coldly. "I understand, Boss."

"It's not that-" Big Boss frowned momentarily. Ocelot could practically see the excuses running through his head. "I'm not giving it to you."

Ocelot sighed. "Well," said Ocelot. "I suppose I shouldn't expect more than that. But maybe I can convince you to trust me a different way." His left hand plunged down into Big Boss' pants and started to fondle Big Boss. "Where are those boys?"

"I- ah- sent them to pick up Monkey. Oh, Ocelot, that's really... not necessary..."

"You want me to stop?"

Big Boss didn't even deign to answer that.


	27. Sunday Morning

_It's a poor workman who blames his tools - Unknown_

It had certainly been a long night, and Big Boss was really starting to feel his age. Ten years ago, a couple dozen nights like this one wouldn't have tired him in the least; now, it felt as though these last two nights he'd been through the ringer. Not that battles with nuclear-equipped monstrous robots or mind-blowing sex were things he'd ever really want to avoid, of course, but at his age, he was starting to feel the after-effects a bit more clearly.

He stood up and stretched bonelessly before looking back at the bed. Ocelot was dozing still, apparently content to catnap the morning away on Arthur's side of the bed. Snakes liked something more of an early start to their day, taking the opportunity to move about while the sun was high, so Big Boss made a small internal memo to himself about having housekeeping change the sheets and quickly pulled on a uniform.

He opened his door and was quite surprised to see a pint-sized soldier standing watch. "Luther?" he asked with slight concern. "Why are you here?"

The boy gave a child's version of a salute. "We've got him downstairs," said the little boy with a proud smile.

"Good," said Big Boss with a smile. If he was downstairs, it meant he'd come without a fight. He'd almost regretted sending only the two boys to get Monkey when he'd thought about how dangerous it might be. Cooling his heels in the hallway downstairs was good for a man who'd been talking about his betters under his breath. "Maybe he can give me an explanation," Big Boss muttered as he started to walk down the stairs.

"Boss," said Monkey excitedly as soon as he'd walked into view of the other man. Big Boss stared at him and started laughing quietly. The man was covered head to toe in pink paint and popcorn. Big Boss was unclear as to where the boys had found _either_ of those items, but it was certainly one of the funniest things he'd seen in a fortnight. "These little- child soldiers of yours- they need to be taught some manners!"

"I like them how they are," said Big Boss with a crooked smile. Now then, what to do... He could allow Monkey to have a shower and remove the paint, or he could leave him like this... Well, the shower would mean he walked past Ocelot in Arthur's place, so he probably couldn't let that happen after all. "Let's take a walk around the compound," he said. It probably wouldn't put his security man off-balance too much, but it _would_ have a good effect on morale for the rest of the men, and even most hardened mercenaries needed a boost every now and then.

Monkey saluted, but the look on his face turned even more sour as they walked out the door. It might have been just past dawn, but there were plenty of soldiers out who paused in their duties to snicker at the pink-washed man walking by. Most of them were quick enough to turn back to work when they noticed who was walking by his side.

"I didn't tell them to cover you with paint. No reason to look so upset with me," said Big Boss after a moment as they walked down the road to one of the larger main buildings.

"Yes, sir," said Monkey. His expression didn't change.

Ah, well.

"Those boys tell me you talk to yourself," said Big Boss conversationally. "Are you finding things too stressful? If you need a vacation..."

"I wasn't talking to myself," said Monkey quickly. "I was just... thinking out loud."

Big Boss nodded and closed his eyes briefly. "You know, thinking out loud when an enemy agent is out and about on the base is very dangerous."

"Yes, sir," said Monkey, his tone suddenly much softer. "Maybe you're right, sir. Maybe I _do_ need a holiday."

"Good," said Big Boss with a decisive nod. "Where would you like to go? I hear the Victoria falls are an excellent tourist place, if you like that sort of thing."

"I've always wanted to travel around Africa," said Monkey, a pensive look appearing on his face. "Maybe I could see several places."

"So what were you thinking about? The boys didn't hear much except for mumbling."

"Ah... well, I'm not exactly sure when I was talking, sir, so..."

"I suppose you had a lot on your mind that morning," said Big Boss with a smile as he opened the door to the general office building. "Hello, Monica." He waved and led the way into his office. "Now, where did I put it?" He looked under his desk. "Here it is. Towel?" he asked. Monkey looked at him uncomprehendingly. "To wipe the paint off," offered Big Boss helpfully.

Monkey nodded and smiled weakly. "Thank you, sir," he said, taking the towel and wiping his face.

Big Boss pressed a button on his desk, and clumsily managed to push a second one as well. "Monica, bring me a leave of absence form." He smiled at Monkey. "Paperwork's a chore, but Arthur'd kill me if I let the accounting get out of whack. He gets paranoid about his budget being cut. I wonder why?"

"He's an idiot, sir," said Monkey. "He's been dragging you down for years."

Big Boss raised an eyebrow. "That might be true, but then... he's also the designer behind Metal Gear, and I'm confidant that that's going to be a key element future plans."

"Yes, sir," said Monkey, a doubtful look on his face. "If you really think we have to start trusting static weaponry over the flexibility of the human body."

"That _is_ a good point," said Big Boss, leaning back. "Well, you'll be out of here on a nice vacation soon." Big Boss smiled and picked up a report from the pile on his desk. "Before you do though- There's just one thing that's bothering me7. It's probably nothing."

"What is it, sir?"

"Bleach and toilet bowl cleaner."

"I'm sorry. What?"

"It seems your department has been using an excess amount of bleach and toilet bowl cleaner."

"Really? _My_ department?" asked Monkey with a confused look on his face.

"Yes," Big Boss nodded. "In fact, it's over three gallons of each. Can you explain that?"

"Hm." Monkey sat back and looked thoughtful for a moment. "Well, Sasaki, I'd guess. The man has some issues. I've even told him to go to the doctor but-" The man shrugged.

"3... gallons... of bleach...?" asked Big Boss skeptically.

"He is a very sickly young man."

"I see. Do you know, there's an interesting fact about bleach and toilet bowl cleaner. In the right combinations, you could make it into a bomb."

Monkey nodded cautiously. "You could," he said quietly.

Big Boss raised an eyebrow and watched Monkey impassively.

"Sir, the papers," said Monica as she walked through the door. "Also, Dr. Emmerich is on hold. Line 2."

Big Boss took the papers and looked at the phone in annoyance. Why the hell was Arthur calling?

He glanced at the papers to make sure they were the ones he wanted, then picked up the phone. "Just a minute," he said to Edik, "and we'll get this out of the way."

He pressed the line button. "Hello?" he asked into it, letting his impatience seep through the line.

There was a pause as the voice went through the line. "Boss? I had to call you- uh... well, you see, Julie and I were talking, and um... well... ."

Big Boss let his brain filter the information for a moment. "What?"

"It's just that... Hal is in a very upset state right now. It seems his school year didn't go as well as he'd hoped, and he hasn't been making any friends. Julie thinks it would be counter-productive to have him leave before exams are over. And Emma's still in school too-" Arthur paused and a tinny sigh came across the line. "It just isn't a good time."

"Not a good _time_?" Big Boss turned away from Monkey and counted to ten, then twenty. "Not a good _time?_ I am _so_ sorry, Mr. Emmerich, I see that your luxury hotel reservation can be moved to the twenty fourth of September. It's _never_ a good time, Arthur. You get your family on that plane and you get _back_ here, or _else_."

"Or else what?" Arthur asked curiously.

Big Boss' mouth opened and shut a few times. "You're stealing some of my best planes in the middle of a crisis, Arthur."

Arthur laughed a little. "It's always a crisis. I'll send them back if you need them."

"I don't need the _planes_ , I need you and your family _here_."

"Well... I'm sorry, Boss, but Julie and I discussed this."

"She's a Patriot _spy_ , Arthur. You will get back here, or I'll send someone-"

Big Boss could almost hear the man shaking his head on the other end of the line. "I can't believe you're jealous of her! You're a control freak, you know that? I can't believe you-"

"What's more important to you, me or Julie?" asked Big Boss finally, letting some of the hurt seep into his voice.

That led the other man to pause for a moment. "Well-" Arthur's voice at the other end sounded confused momentarily, but gained strength for his next statement. "But _Hal_ is. And we don't think it would be good for him."

"Arthur-"

"Look, this isn't up for discussion. I'm _not_ coming back right now."

"You're right that it isn't up for discussion, Arthur. It's not _safe_ -"

"I can't talk to you when you're like this! Julie says it's-"

"Julie again? Can't you think for _yourself_ , Arthur?"

There was a brief pause on the other end of the line, and then a click. "Arthur? Arthur!" Big Boss slammed the phone down in disgust. "I can't believe him. At a time like this he's going to-" Big Boss cut himself off and looked back at the vacation papers.

_Monkey. Still in the room. Right._

"All right, Monkey. Let's get these filled out."

"Sir," said Monkey with a smile.

Big Boss picked up a pen and put it to the paper with another glance at the man. "All my senior staff," he muttered. "Inconsiderate-" He shook his head again. Damn him! As though Big Boss didn't have enough on his plate with the sabotage coming from Monkey's department, dealing with Grey Fox and Petrovich, and his clone being sent to the base tomorrow. "Not to mention the lousy job Ocelot's doing..."

"What was that, sir?"

"Ocelot," said Big Boss absently as he wrote the date on the form. "I've decided to send him back out into the field and call in another operative to help here. He's not achieving expectations... Let's see, a week should be enough..."

"Yes, sir, more than enough," said Monkey.

"Medical leave would require a checkup- We don't need that, do we?" It would only slow down procedures, and the financial backers weren't likely to worry as long as they had accurate statements done up by accounting... Besides, Edik had managed to tip off Grey Fox; he probably didn't deserve paid leave.

"Sir... if the problem is in my department, I shouldn't take any time off," he said. Big Boss raised an eyebrow at the man. "You're going to be short-handed without Drs. Emmerich and Petrovich, or Sub-Commander Ocelot."

"The whole Metal Gear project is going to be postponed for now," said Big Boss in annoyance. "We won't be making our deadlines whether you're here or not."

"Sir, I know my people. Anyone you bring in here is going to have a disadvantage if they can't work with me to ferret this person out. If we want to be back on schedule-"

"We're not getting back on schedule without my scientists." Big Boss put the vacation papers down. "I can't keep you working if you're giving out secrets to anyone with the skill to skulk in a doorway."

"I understand sir... but it's just overwork. A good night's sleep will combat it."

Big Boss shook his head. It was far too risky. "They're moving faster than I expected. Solid Snake will be here tomorrow, and I can't afford any more screw-ups."

"Yes, sir," said Monkey. "I want to help though. You don't really want me taking a vacation at a critical time, do you?" He paused and Big Boss took the vacation papers back. "I could go for Dr. Emmerich. You wouldn't need to send anyone else while you're dealing with the Patriot's plot."

Big Boss paused. Someone in Monkey's department _had_ set up the bombs. The Patriots _were_ acting against him. Arthur had run off, and there was no way he could trust just anyone to go and pick him up... And right now, he wasn't sure he should trust anyone _at all_. So maybe it would be better if no one left the base.

The Patriots had connections everywhere, of course, but if he could jam communications immediately and didn't let anyone leave the base, they wouldn't know Arthur and his family weren't on their way back. They wouldn't even know whether or not their spy had been caught.

"I want to know who's behind this, Monkey," he said finally. "Go figure it out."

Monkey stood and saluted. "You won't be sorry for this decision, sir!"

Big Boss nodded and waited for the man to leave. "I'd better not be," he muttered to himself before picking up the phone. It was time to stop these radio transmissions. "Bludstun? Seems I've finally found a job for you."

* * *

_**Ocelot was not happy.** _

When he'd woken up in the morning, he'd been resolved to speak to his supposedly external contact, but the radio was filled with static. Thinking to fall back on his secondary plans, he'd picked up the telephone only to find that the lines were dead. All of them.

This was _not_ a part of his plans. Any deviation was going to require serious explanations to his _other_ superiors, and he didn't like having to do that for no reason. Explaining why Big Boss' plans had worked when they weren't supposed to, that was easy. Explaining why he was out of contact with everyone while that happened? More complicated, especially when he didn't have an explanation himself.

And then he'd found the damning little piece of paper lodged in his underclothes. _New orders from above- Big Boss must die- Lalilulelo._ Of course, it hadn't said it like _that,_ it had been much more circumspect and it had been in code, but the _point_ was that things like this simply shouldn't be hiding in his boxers when he woke after sleeping with Big Boss for any one of a dozen entirely different, disturbing and valid reasons.

 _Not happy_ was an understatement.

This mission was _not_ supposed to be about killing Big Boss. Ocelot wasn't qualified to do that. _No one_ was qualified to do that, unless they did it while the other man was drugged into a sound sleep, and even then Ocelot wouldn't give the advantage to an assassin. Sabotaging Metal Gear because it was too powerful: that Ocelot could understand. Getting rid of the designers of Metal Gear was an almost noble goal. Ocelot would not have been implicated in it at any rate, so it was a damageless solution as far as he was concerned.

But now- They were upset. That had to be the reason. Ocelot's operatives had failed to inflict serious damage on the Metal Gear, and they hadn't gotten any of the Metal Gear scientists out of the way either. It served him right for not choosing soldiers, but Big Boss didn't let many people up the ranks...

No good. He had to think of a way out of this- but first, he had to see Big Boss. Which meant he needed an excuse. What did he have to give the man? Not head again, he'd done that enough last night. He grinned.

There was always the note. It would be simple enough to dirty the meaning. It would open a whole new can of worms of course, and Ocelot was already of the opinion that it would be better to take out his Patriotic friend without the help of the older mercenary.

He could give up one of his operatives, of course. That was something he felt he should do anyways. The pair of them were of less use than an indian's feathers. The woman had given him decent enough information, but the man- Still, no. Giving them up should wait for after he'd discovered who the Patriot agent was, or when he needed to distract Big Boss. Nothing quite that drastic was needed right now.

It had to be something to placate Big Boss. It couldn't be something to annoy the Patriots. What could he-

Ah. Petrovich's arms dealer contact.

"No one likes a free agent," muttered Ocelot with a briefly ironic smirk.


	28. Your Mother's Sword

_"History will be kind to me, for I intend to write it." - Churchill_

"Would you say," asked Ocelot as he threw open the doors and entered the room, "that you are a good judge of character?"

Big Boss spun his seat around and lit a cigar with a smile. "Ocelot. I was wondering when you'd wake up. Cigar?" He inhaled to get the thing to light properly and motioned for Ocelot to sit down. Ocelot reached over and took one from Big Boss' cigar case, lit it, and then took his own deep breath.

"Well?" he asked after a moment of silence.

"You're about to tell me some high level member of my staff has been against me the whole time?" asked Big Boss, his smile becoming a touch more genuine. "You've found my saboteur?"

"Yes to the first, almost to the second. I've found Petrovich's dealer. He lied to us: it is someone on this base."

"Who is it?" asked Big Boss, keeping his excitement down. The traitor was going to pay dearly. Give him to Arthur for one of his little tests. It was _his_ work they were stealing. Or even to Ocelot as a present for finding him. The man enjoyed his little... _sessions_. Both of Big Boss' lovers enjoyed their work far too much. "Is it Monkey?"

"You already knew," said Ocelot, disappointment in his voice.

"Suspicions for the past year," hissed Big Boss, "so I've kept him as close as I could... Fed him information, but none of it was acted on. Couldn't get rid of him either. The man's been too valuable in certain areas..."

"Really? I didn't see any."

" _You_ wouldn't," said Big Boss. "He's good with the men, keeps morale up better than you would. They see him as being more on their level than men like you or me. His management skills over the years have been exemplary. More than that-" Big Boss picked up Monkey's vacation papers and crumpled them into a ball. "Do you know how much it hurts morale to have people suddenly vanish? Makes the men scared if people don't have reasons for being killed by the higher ups. I'm not running a cult, I'm running a military organization. It's why I need proof before I act. Tell me you have proof, Ocelot."

Ocelot reached into his coat and pulled out a tape cassette. "Yes, Boss. Right here. Petrovich confessed it all."

"How much help did you give him?" asked Big Boss curiously, but when Ocelot opened his mouth to answer, Big Boss waved a hand. "Thanks, but on second though, I don't really need the details."

"Squeamish," accused Ocelot.

"Hardly," said Big Boss with a grin. "Get back out there, Ocelot. Find out who's been doing the sabotage."

"Yes, sir," said Ocelot with a salute as he stood. He walked towards the door, then paused, hand still on the doorknob. "Boss, why did you think it was Monkey?"

"There's a leak in the high levels. It's not me, it's not Arthur. You don't know enough. Who's left?" Big Boss said with a shrug.

"Good thinking, sir," said Ocelot blandly. "I'll just go and investigate a little more."

Big Boss nodded absently and picked up the phone. "Monica, I need you to get in touch with Monkey. Have him come to my office."

"Yes, sir," said the tinny voice through the line. "Is there a reason I can give him?"

"Hm. Just tell him it's regarding an urgent matter requiring his attention," said Big Boss. He put down the phone as the door closed with a soft click. "Ocelot, come back," he called with just enough volume to be heard through the heavy metal. The door opened again. "My clone will be here in another-" Big Boss checked his watch. "Three hours. I expect you to be in my office for that."

"Sir." Ocelot gave another salute and walked out.

Big Boss sighed and sat back in his seat. Monkey. "I _knew_ he'd have something to do with it. There was always something wrong with him." That begged the question though: if he'd always known, why had he promoted the man? No, he hadn't always known. Something must have changed in the last year. He'd been progressively less able at his job.

Big Boss had thought he had something to do with the Patriots though. He'd been feeding him false information for months. It was a little disappointing that he'd been doing it for nothing. Just a run of the mill traitor looking to make himself rich. Really, if he'd just spoken to Big Boss about it, he might not have been in this situation.

Of course, the Metal Gear specifications were going to be worth one hell of a lot of money once the robots had some proven battle experience. Quite a bit more than Big Boss was likely to pay. Even if he only got preliminaries...

Big Boss leaned back in his seat and stared at the paperwork again, then picked up the phone. "Monica?"

"Yes, sir?"

"I need you to file some paperwork." A long suffering sigh and then a click. Monica was in his office in less than thirty seconds. Big Boss stood, grinned and handed her a stack. "Inventory reports," he said.

"I'll file these after I've tracked down Monkey," she said, almost falling over under the weight. The papers were up to her eyes.

"You do that," said Big Boss. He opened the door for her and closed it afterwards, then went back to his desk and pulled out his hidden, unread copy of _Big Guns_. Oh, Arthur would be mad if he knew that Big Boss was looking at someone else's work, but the pleasure more than made up for it. Ocelot would never understand either: there was only one that he liked, and even Big Boss had to admit that it was a beauty.

Ah, but the long barrels- the holsters on the shiny belts- oh, now _that_ was a rocket launcher. Straps. Ah, hard and fast, but with a grip that could harden the most inexperienced rookie- And ammo, oh, the ammo! Sprayed across the page like Rambo's wet dream. And what was this? A full page spread of- an antique? That did _not_ deserve a full page, Big Boss thought crossly. Why, he had one that was probably just as old, and in better condition.

"I should invite them down here," he muttered, "and show them what a real man has in stock." He could even show off Ocelot's- decorations notwithstanding, a perfect example of what should be in this sort of magazine.

And then came the articles. Big Boss perused them slowly, analyzing them for any tips he might have missed, for any tricks he could try with Ocelot during their next encounter. Shooting in the back, standard and not really very fun- But this double summersault move might be just the thing. In fact, if he tightened his grip... yeah, that would be real good; he'd never see it coming, but hell, he'd sure feel it...

He almost laughed at the tiny little pistol on the next page. If it were his, he'd keep it tucked away where no one would see it. It wasn't the kind of quality that he'd come to expect from this magazine. No, Big Boss wouldn't be caught dead with this kind of equipment.

The next page held an ad for portable beds, a kind of camping adventure thing. They wouldn't last a night, the way Big Boss liked to do things. Another page turn, and long, hard, darkness stared him in the face. The perfect sight. Big Boss' gaze lingered on the advertisement that featured the hottest set of pokers he'd seen in a while. A shaggy bear carpet, a fireplace- this hunter had had a good night.

Arthur didn't make a sight like that. Maybe there was some way Big Boss could convince him... No, it was as unlikely as getting Ocelot to try something truly original. The truth was, neither of them was as adventurous as Big Boss was when it came to their weaponry. Big Boss would have tried to teach them, especially Ocelot who was much more open to such things, but even Ocelot wouldn't let him use his gun with enough roughness to demonstrate the techniques properly.

The knock at his door completely threw him out of his fantasies of leather and metal. "Who is it?"

"Monkey," said the voice outside the door.

Ah well. It was hard to put it down at this point, but- He'd certainly been reading this magazine for long enough. He put the thing into his drawer again and positioned himself carefully behind the desk before looking at his watch. Taken her long enough to find him, hadn't it... Only fifteen minutes and Solid Snake would be here...

"Come in, Monkey," said Big Boss with a smile, keeping his voice open and friendly. Never tell them that you're about to trap them.

Monkey opened the door and sat down in the chair. "What is it you needed to speak to me about, sir?"

Big Boss smiled humorlessly at the man. "Ocelot brought me this tape. He said it was relevant to your work. Let's listen together."

Big Boss put the cassette into the tape player, pressed play, and waited.

After a minute, he pressed rewind, slightly confused to hear only static. He pressed play again. "What the hell is Ocelot playing at?" he muttered as the static continued.

Monkey sat back, watching politely. "Technical difficulties, sir? Maybe I can help."

"No, thank you," said Big Boss, staring at the tape. He picked up the phone. "Monica, get Ocelot over here."

"Sir, he's just-"

The metal door opened as Ocelot strode through, cocky as ever. "I'm here for- why's he still here?"

"Your tape, Ocelot," said Big Boss, throwing it at the other man. "It's empty. Care to explain?"

"Empty? But-" he cut himself off and stared at it for a moment, then glanced briefly at Monkey. "No, sir. No explanation."

Big Boss shook his head in frustration. "What did you do, forget to press record?"

"No, I-" Another sidelong glance at Monkey. "That must be it, sir."

"Sit down," said Big Boss with a wave of his hand. "How dare you make accusations like that without even checking that your proof is on here? Are you trying to make me look like a fool, Ocelot?"

"No, sir," said Ocelot quietly.

"Then how do you _explain_ this?"

Ocelot glanced at Monkey again. "Can I speak with you alone, sir?"

"No," said Big Boss. "I'm tired of your little distractions. Every time something comes up that you don't want to talk about, you play these little games, and I'm tired of it. You have something to say, you can say it _here and now_."

Ocelot paused, then smiled thinly and nodded. "Yes, sir. But you ought to know that I've found the identity of the saboteur."

Monkey turned to look at Ocelot, Big Boss glared. He was changing the subject- "And is your evidence as useless as this tape?"

Ocelot glanced at the tape and put it down on the desk carefully. "I have a paper trail," he said. "One of them is a Geoff Bludstun. Works in inventory. He's been making false reports of what's been ordered for months." Ocelot handed several sheets to Big Boss from out of his pocket.

Big Boss looked them over carefully. Reports, duly signed and dated, and then altered.

"You'll find that _Dr._ Bludstun also helped Dr. Emmerich in setting up the papers for Grey Fox."

"And the other?" asked Big Boss, anger in his voice. Another fool that Arthur was going to try to save. He had to be dealt with immediately.

"Your secretary. She's had access to all your information for-" Ocelot paused. "Years."

"But why would she-"

"Sir," said Monkey. "The radio."

Big Boss looked at the thing. FOXHOUND channels? He was here _already_? "Damn it," Big Boss muttered, the flipped the switch.

"This is Snake." Big Boss sighed and stared at the radio. Everything always happened at once, didn't it... "Can you hear me?" Snake asked after a moment.

Monkey grabbed a pen and scribbled something down on a scrap of paper. "This is Big Boss..." He stared at the paper for a second and then read it. And read it again.

"Operation Intrude N313," he said, projecting himself as well as he could. "Penetrate the enemy base Outer Heaven and destroy the ultimate weapon: Metal Gear. First, try to make contact with our missing man, Grey Fox. Then search for Metal Gear. You can contact me on frequency 120.85."8

Big Boss set the radio to the receive position and looked at the paper again.

"Ocelot, go take a break."

"But-"

"I've had enough of your failures for now. Get rid of the saboteurs, and come back when you're done. Dismissed."

Ocelot stared at him for a moment, then stood up, his mouth pursed. "Fine," he said, then walked out the door, slamming it in his wake. Only seconds later, the sound of a gunshot found it's way through the heavy metal doors.

Big Boss took a deep breath and sighed as he glanced at the paper. Monkey reached over the desk and pressed the button that stopped the office recording devices. "Exactly how many nuclear weapons are we talking about?" asked Big Boss calmly.


	29. The Clarity of Dream

_Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something. - Pancho Villa_

"Toss _me_ out, will he?" Ocelot fumed under his breath while he polished his gun. "How _dare_ he?" _After all the work I put in for his causes, after all the double talk and scheming- After I damned well put my neck out on the line for him, he just sends me away to deal with the refuse? I let him keep his idiotic scientist, didn't I? I don't even complain that I end up taking it more than I give it._ "He thinks he can just send me away-"

Ocelot threw his gun in the air and pulled the other from it's holster. _I find his traitors, I find his saboteurs, I find his Patriot_ spy _and he ignores me?_ "Go deal with them, Ocelot," he mimicked. "I've had enough of your failures. Bah!" _Failures? He has no idea how much I've protected him! Who stopped them from taking action on the Japan fiasco?_ "Me, that's who."

At least he'd had the fun of seeing the secretary's eyes widen in horror as he'd raised the gun. At least he'd had the pleasure of Petrovich's delirious, pained chattering. And he was going to get rid of that damned idiot Bludstun before that one could turn on him.

He turned a corner in the scientist's buildings and walked into Arthur's office without a moment's thought and started rifling through the man's papers. "Where do you keep your maps, Emmerich?" he asked sourly.

A beeping distracted him momentarily, and he looked up to see the red light flashing on the camera above the desk. _'What are you doing in my office? Get out. - Arthur Emmerich._ '

"I'm looking for your maps, you pathetic waste of air," Ocelot said to the camera. "You go home and then monitor your office?"

 _'Bottom drawer. And then get out of my office._ '

Ocelot pulled it open and rifled through it. _He's been here,_ thought Ocelot, annoyed. _That damned spy_. "Don't worry, Arthur. I know you care more about Boss than that. You probably just put this camera in the wrong room. I'll tell him you care enough to talk to me and not him."

The computer beeped again. Ocelot grinned at the camera and then threw it on the ground, satisfied at the sound of the lens breaking. "Fuck you? Hardly a comeback, Emmerich," he said as he walked out, juggling his guns again.

Bludstun: three corridors down, second office on the right.

Ocelot walked quickly, ignoring the security cameras again until a panel beeped beside him. _'I have taps to all the cameras, Ocelot. If you do anything to one of my people, I'll be on the phone to him in seconds.'_

Ocelot bared his teeth at the little red light that was turned to him, then shot it. "I'll remember you have control over the cameras then," he muttered, then shot out the next one that was starting to point in his direction. "I'll take security apart if I have to," he said loudly when the third began moving towards him.

 _'And_ I'll _call Big Boss if you start doing that. We'll see which one of us he agrees with._ '

"He's the one who gave me the orders. Go away, Arthur. Go on, tell him that you don't like me. Tell him you're letting your personal feelings get in the way of your profession."

The cameras shut themselves down. Ocelot walked quickly towards Bludstun's office and kicked the door in angrily before shooting out the three cameras and shutting the door. His face was twisted as he glared at Bludstun, who was looking back at him with a confused sort of questioning look.

"Why didn't you get the job done," asked Ocelot dangerously. "If you give me a good reason, maybe I won't shoot you and go back to kill your hostage too."

"You- You people told me not to finish it!" protested Bludstun.

"What?" Ocelot felt himself go cold.

"You told me not to destroy the thing, just to damage it! I _did_ that!"

"Who told you that? And when did they change the order?"

"I- just a call over the radio, I don't know. And... a few months back. Really, it's true," he said earnestly.

"They gave you the pass-phrase when they did that?" he asked faintly. As soon as the man nodded, Ocelot shot him in the head. "You really should have talked to _me_ first," he said quietly.

So. They had set this up to fail. They knew who his operatives were, always had. When you ordered something taken down, you wanted to know who was doing it, and They were even more particular. In case of failure, they insisted that things should be modular. If someone failed, someone else could take over.

And someone had.

Ocelot closed the door carefully to make sure that Arthur's cameras couldn't see in. Nevertheless, _'you killed him didn't you,'_ appeared on the screen.

"No," said Ocelot. "Just tied him up."

Ocelot continued walking and the cameras continued to follow him around. _Where are you going?_

"I'm _busy_ right now, Dr. Emmerich. No time for chit-chat. Why don't you go play football with your boy or something."

 _'He's watching more of those cartoons. What are you busy_ doing?'

Ocelot grit his teeth. "You control these cameras so well," he said, pushing his face into a smile. "What do you think Big Boss was doing last night? Cursing your name for leaving him at a critical time."

 _'I know what he was doing last night. You've got some nerve to say he was thinking of_ me _while he was doing it._ '

The cameras turned off.

Arthur knew then, and was still trying to process it. Well. It looked as though Ocelot's tryst was over. Just as well, really. Made the choice between Big Boss and the Patriots much more clear-cut.

 _Fuck them all._ It was more than time that Ocelot started working for himself alone.

Ocelot already understood that Big Boss would make the wrong choice. He was allowed to choose the wrong thing, had done it time and again in his personal life. Small wonder the man insisted on keeping his personal and professional life separated: his brilliance in war was equaled only by his stunning _lack_ of ability in his attempts at relationships. The truth was, Ocelot had no problem with choosing the Patriots over him. It had always been a con. But first- oh, first he had to kill someone. Monkey.

They'd been manipulating _Ocelot_? Who knew for how long. Monkey was a messenger, but there was a reason for the old saying: killing the messenger tended to leave a lasting impression on future mailmen.

Get the man separated from Big Boss. Kill him. Hide the body somewhere discreet, but not too well. It had to be found, after all. What was the point of leaving a message if no one knew you'd left it there?

He had to be sure though, that this had been the Patriots and not some dissenter who'd betrayed the Patriots cause. One required revenge on the highest levels; the other simply meant killing a man who had as much sense as a lone cowboy shooting at a tribe of indians.

Ocelot opened the door to the other man's well-appointed office with a growl and began to look on his desk. When that search proved fruitless, he moved to the drawers, and then the filing cabinet. Clean. The computer was similarly void of information.

 _'You know, one might think you were looking for evidence. Maybe you should have tried it while you were busy convicting Dr. Madnar._ '

"Back _again_ , Emmerich? I thought I'd hurt your feelings."

_'You were trying to hurt my feelings? Maybe you should try harder.'_

"Oh, I see. You don't care?"

 _'Of_ course _I care. I can't believe he did this to me. But there's nothing much I can do about it right now._ '

Ocelot smirked at a camera. "Not a thing." Ocelot looked around the room and frowned. What had he missed? Nothing. Any evidence Monkey had he'd be carrying. "His room," he said. "Where's his room, Emmerich?"

 _'Military barracks area. Two buildings away._ '

"You won't be able to track me on my way," said Ocelot. "I'll miss you," he said as he left the room.

 _'I'll meet you there_ ,' came the response on a screen nearby.

Ocelot smiled and walked out the door to where the security cameras wouldn't be monitoring him, waited a few seconds, then walked back in. "Goodbye, Arthur," he said with a smile and walked back to Big Boss' office. By the time he reached it, the secretary's blood was congealing on the floor, the eyes open and staring accusingly at him. Not that he really cared if they were accusing or not. It had felt _good_ to shoot the bitch.

Another part of him thought bitterly about how much better it would have felt to torture her instead. "Can't always get what you want," he said quietly, staring at the body, then sighed and opened the door to Big Boss' office. "Boss, I-"

"This is Big Boss," the man said loudly. "Solid Snake! Stop the operation. Switch off your MSX at once. This is an order. Over."

Ocelot sat down. "MSX?" he asked dubiously after Big Boss had set the radio back to receive.

"Oh, it's a M-"

"Sir, we have to send Coward Duck _now_ if we're going to send him," said Monkey, interrupting Big Boss.

Big Boss looked at Monkey, his eyes sharp. "Right," he said dully. "Let's see... 130.22... Duck?"

"Yes, Boss."

"Solid Snake's coming your way. Don't underestimate him."

"Sir, Machine Gun Kid is better than I am. I can't win this fight," said the other voice.

"Do your best. Big Boss out."

Big Boss looked at Ocelot from his chair. He looked worn out. "What do you want, Ocelot?"

Ocelot stared at him for a moment before deciding it didn't matter. "I need to speak to Monkey for a few minutes."

"No," said Big Boss, head shaking quickly and suddenly looking more alert. "You're finished your job here, Ocelot. It's time for you to go. I'll send your next orders sometime soon. Get yourself to-"

"It's not a problem for me to talk to Ocelot," said Monkey.

"There's no need for you to talk to him," said Big Boss.

"He wants to talk to me. I have nothing to hide." Monkey smiled at Big Boss. Ocelot narrowed his eyes. What the hell was going on here...? "Don't worry, Boss. We'll be back before Duck's finished, and we'll both help you with the Snake."

Big Boss shook his head unhappily- If there was something going on, why hadn't he just _killed_ Monkey? Well. If _he_ couldn't take care of it, Ocelot _would_. "Hurry up, then," said Big Boss just as unhappily as before.

As soon as the door was closed behind them, Ocelot pulled his gun out and began twirling it around on his finger. "So," he said slowly. "I've never seen the Boss so spooked."

"Positions on the board change all the time, Ocelot. A pawn becomes a queen, two knights get knocked off the playing field... You know how it works," said Monkey, walking a few steps out in front. "Nice work with the secretary. They didn't tell me about her. Were you holding back?"

"I don't like chess," said Ocelot. "Too simple. The asian games are much better. But the truth is, we don't play either of those. Did they tell you to set this up?"

"Of course," said Monkey, turning. "Do I look like a grandmaster? I followed orders: got you into this unit-"

"I got myself in here."

"Ha. I killed three men to get us in. Almost managed to do Emmerich in too, but you got in the way."

And suddenly, something clicked in Ocelot's head. They'd been manipulating him for years, hadn't they: they'd set him up to fail with Mir, they'd given him the perfect opportunity to infiltrate Big Boss' unit... they'd had Monkey- no, Edik- kill and sabotage on the way to get Emmerich's son... why?

"I'm sure it would have been much more dramatic, but accidents are hard to do when you're talking about superior officers. Besides, they wanted Metal Gear," continued Monkey, patting a pocket. "They're only preliminary, someone else will have to continue the work, but for now- we have a definite tactical advantage."

Because they wanted Metal Gear? But that couldn't possibly have been it. Ocelot could have easily stolen the plans from the base. And besides that, they'd been paying for the whole development process: they probably could have just asked. So what was it they wanted?

"They wanted me to give you this when you figured it out," said Monkey after a moment, handing an old, glossy photograph to Ocelot.

Ocelot glanced at it and folded it up, putting it in his pocket. "This is what they wanted? I understand now. Taking ten years to set it up is the height of inadequacy. There's only one thing I don't understand: if you're a Patriot, why were you talking to the Russian Bratsvo?"

"I'm not a Patriot agent. I'm from the Philosophers." Monkey shook his head and laughed. "There are two tasks left."

"No, my friend," said Ocelot with an answering smile. "There are three."

The bullet ricocheted off the floor, the ceiling, three window frames, and of course, the heavy metal door behind him, before finally finding it's way into Monkey's right hand. His eyes were wide with shock.

 _Manipulate_ me _, will you?_

Ocelot shot again, hitting the man's left hand, and once more, forcing the man to collapse to his knees. "What do you think you're doing! They'll kill you!"

Ocelot smiled again. "They spent ten years setting up a test of my loyalty. That's a long time to spend on someone disposable." He fired again, bouncing the bullet off of the ceiling and into the man's gut, grazing his lung. Two tasks. One was killing Big Boss. "The clone's supposed to win, isn't he..."

"You... you won't get... away with it..."

Ocelot smiled again. "You were my contact. I should have seen it, with you talking to yourself about Emmerich, with how close you stayed to me during my investigation. You were on the radio with me. You set me up, didn't you?" The man coughed up blood and began a gurgling wheeze, precluding any answer he might have wanted to give. Ocelot smiled savagely at the sound. "I'm not going down. You might even have _won_ , if it weren't for those meddling kids9."

The door opened behind them. "Ocelot! What the hell are you doing?"

Ocelot turned to Big Boss and fired a shot that bounced it's way into Monkey's brain. "Dealing with your Patriot spy."

Big Boss shook his head and swore. "Do you ever _ask_? Never mind. I should know you don't. What did he give you?" asked Big Boss.

He'd heard the whole conversation, hadn't he... had waited for Ocelot to nearly murder his contact before interrupting. Big Boss was trying to test his loyalty too. Big Boss was worse than _they_ were. He'd been manipulating Ocelot for those same ten years, trying to take advantage of what he could in loyalty and information and pleasure. Big Boss didn't love him, would choose Arthur over him in a heartbeat- And now that Arthur knew, he was going to have to _do_ it. Ocelot turned and glared at the dead body. He'd liked his illusions.

Ocelot pulled a note out of his pocket and handed it to Big Boss without turning to face him. "They want you dead," he said. It was true, Monkey had given him the note. It just wasn't the truth Big Boss was asking him for. Big Boss wanted the picture.

_Well, he can't have it._

"All right," said Big Boss softly. "If that's what they want..."

"Excuse me?" Ocelot turned sharply. "What the hell is _that_ supposed to mean?"

Big Boss shook his head and leaned against a wall. "How much do you hate Arthur?"

"He's a non-issue," lied Ocelot with a shrug. "Why?"

"If something happened to me," said Big Boss carefully, "I want there to be someone he can trust."

What a stupid thing to say. On a number of levels. "You're joking. I'm _not_ killing you."

Big Boss nodded. "Of course not." He stared at Ocelot for a few moments, then walked over and kissed him gently. "That clone of mine is coming."

"Boss, you're better than a man who's been put together piecemeal out of technology."

"I am, yes," agreed Big Boss. "Arthur doesn't want me to kill him though. That might make things more challenging."

 _That would be because Arthur is an idiot._ He'd already decided whatever it was he wanted to do, Ocelot could see it in his eyes. But there was no choice. How could he let Big Boss go through with this? "There's no reason for you to fight him."

Big Boss smiled, pulled Ocelot into an embrace and shook his head slowly. _Condescendingly._ "You need to stay in place," he said into Ocelot's ear.

How could he _not_ let Big Boss go through with this? It guaranteed his place. And Big Boss didn't care about him anyways- why was this hard? He'd already _decided_ to let it happen! It-

"Metal Gear has been a mistake," Big Boss said after a moment. " _They_ were using _us_ , and I didn't see it. Sometimes, Ocelot, we are blind to what we don't want to see."

"You could have kept both eyes and _still_ been blind," whispered Ocelot. _You'd still have been blind to what I am willing to do._

Big Boss stood up. "My clone is already going down to the basement. I think I'll take the elevator," he said. And then, "I need you to take care of Arthur and his family for me."

"What-"

"I trust you, Ocelot. You're not one of them. Monkey's a Philosopher's agent. And I'm not giving them Metal Gear." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a tiny blue GPS transceiver. He stared at it for a moment, then pressed it into Ocelot's hand. "Take care of them if I can't, Ocelot. There's a helicopter outside waiting to take you to whatever airport you'd like."

"Boss... he's just a clone. The Patriots aren't going to win over you."

"You've slept a long time, Ocelot. Rip van Winkle," he said in a teasing voice. "Remember that even a sleeper cell has to wake up eventually."

Ocelot watched Big Boss leave, his shoulders set, his position firm, then looked down at Monkey's dead body. He pulled the Metal Gear plans out of the man's front pocket and stared at the elevator. A part of him wanted to go down, to watch as Big Boss threw this fight.

 _He's worse than Them_ , thought Ocelot. _They create weapons and set them on each other. He only has the knife, but he gets it in and twists it till you don't know how to get it out._

Ocelot sat on the floor, staring at the cameras as the lights blinked slowly on and off.

It wasn't until a self-destruct alarm began to ring out through the base that Ocelot decided to leave.

* * *

_**Arthur had been sitting on this park bench without moving a muscle for almost two days. Well, it wasn't quite true. He'd gotten up to go to the bushes several times, and he'd laid down on the bench overnight, sleeping like some hobo without even a blanket. He hadn't slept well.** _

Big Boss hadn't called. His transceiver wasn't working. It indicated that his heart had stopped, which was clearly incorrect. That fall he'd taken during that fight with Snake, before the cameras went out, had certainly been temporary.

Arthur glanced again at his cell phone, then closed his eyes and leaned back. In another few hours, he would have to leave the park where they had set up this meeting spot years ago in order to fill up the batteries. Two days.

When the transceiver stopped sending Big Boss' signal, he'd called for about three hours. Then he'd tried to distract himself for another two. Then he'd come out here. To wait.

"Dr. Emmerich," came a voice behind him. Arthur's eyes snapped open and he turned his head.

"Ocelot?" He looked around in slight panic. The man still had his guns, hidden slightly but- children were in this park! Ocelot sat down beside him and poked him in the chest. Arthur looked down a little stupidly at the red dot. "Oh."

"Looks like you've finally done it, Emmerich. You managed to kill the legendary Big Boss. Don't kill your clone, Big Boss!"

Arthur looked down, then shook his head. "He'll be here in a little while," he said. "I just haven't waited long enough. He loves me. He'll come."

"No," said Ocelot casually. "Do you think your supposed _love_ is going to stop death? There's no such thing as miracles, and there's no such thing as love."

Arthur's eyes widened. "So... you don't even love him? How could you do that to him!"

Ocelot shook his head. "Get up," said Ocelot.

"No," said Arthur. "I'm waiting for him."

Ocelot frowned and said something into his jacket. Arthur watched with a sickened feeling as the red light moved towards a child in a sandbox. "I'm waiting, too, Emmerich."

Arthur stood with a scowl. "Where are we going?"

Ocelot smiled tightly. "Why, home, of course. You know, he had a last request. He wanted me to _take care of you_... and your family." Ocelot put a friendly arm around Arthur's shoulders. "I'm only too happy to do it."

"Take care of- no, you can't!"

"Go ahead. Beg," said Ocelot, a gleeful smile on his face.

"You think it's funny, don't you..." Ocelot pushed them both forwards.

" _They've_ told me to take care of you as well," said Ocelot, his voice soft and sweet as though he were relaying sweet nothings. "The order came down as this little piece of worthless plastic stopped working," he said, pulling out one of Big Boss' transceivers and waving it about before putting it back into his jacket. "This will make a nice souvenir, I think. The day I defeated Big Boss and Arthur Emmerich."

"This has all been about killing us?" Arthur asked. "If we'd known, we'd have struck first," he muttered.

"Don't dramatize. This isn't about you. The tragedy is that it isn't even about _him_. It's all about me proving my loyalty. And unlike you, I actually _am_ loyal to something more than my own pathetic little life."

Arthur nodded and tried to size up his chances. He looked down and noticed that the red dot had disappeared, but that didn't help- fighting Ocelot would have been throwing away his life whether or not someone was waiting in the wings. Convincing the man to betray the Patriot's on _his_ behalf was equally unlikely to work. There was no love lost between them: in all honesty, if he'd had a snowball's chance at defeating him, Arthur would have killed Ocelot too.

"Big Boss wouldn't want this," he said finally, settling on the idea that Ocelot must have truly had some love for the old man. "He cares about me."

Ocelot continued forward, and the arm on his back forced Arthur to walk alongside. "You think you're too good to beg, Emmerich?"

Arthur shook his head. "Will it work? If so, then _please_. I don't deserve to die."

Ocelot smirked. "We agree that you don't deserve to have _me_ kill you. Death itself? There I think we disagree."

Arthur bit his lip. He needed to try this from a different angle. "My family..." he breathed. Ocelot had a heart, what man didn't? He wouldn't kill a family man. " _They_ don't need to die. Julie and Emma have never seen a battlefield, Hal doesn't remember them-"

"Oh, no, he doesn't. And I remember Boss disagreeing with you about him. You think he's too good for the battlefield." Ocelot laughed. "You know what, Emmerich? Just for that, I won't kill him. I'll bring him out onto the battlefields. I think Big Boss would have liked that."

"No! You can't- he won't survive!"

Ocelot shrugged and gave a sideways smile. "I'll make it a game. I'll come to your grave and make a mark for every year he lives. Every five years, I'll bring some flowers."

"My... grave? Ocelot, I wouldn't kill you, you know that," lied Arthur in a panic. "You- you owe it to Big Boss! To not kill me! It was his dying wish!"

"If I owe something to that man, it's to finish you off," said Ocelot, his smile widening as they rounded a corner. "I can see your house from here," he added. "And there's still the wife and daughter to convince me not to kill."

Arthur's eyes moved from the house to Ocelot. "But... Emma's just a little girl. And she needs a mother. And... if you're going to leave Hal alive to put him on a battlefield, he still needs a parent. He's not old enough to be without one." This was a nightmare. He could see the answer in Ocelot's eyes: _he_ could take care of Hal. Arthur appealed to the other man's practical side. "And you'd hate being a father."

"I'd probably kill him," said Ocelot with a sardonic, superior smile. He pushed open the gate in the white picket fence that led to the backyard. "A pool, Arthur? Do you like to swim?"

"Of course I-" Wait, why was he asking that? He wasn't even going to it cleanly. Julie was going to come out to a literal pool of blood. "What's wrong with you? Don't want to waste a bullet on me? Maybe you don't really _want_ to kill me, maybe-"

Ocelot laughed. "You're almost funny. The Lalilulelo don't think I'd want to kill you either. As though seeing children's photographs would make me like you."

"What?"

"We're brothers, Dr. Emmerich. Not in anything so petty as thoughts or skills, but in blood. Ah, the oaths of little children." Arthur looked at the man and a boy with blonde hair flashed through his head. "It's a small world, isn't it, Dr. Emmerich."

Ocelot grinned. "But it doesn't change my mind." He pulled a syringe out of a pocket and a hand calloused from gun tricks froze Arthur's arm in a steely grip. "They don't want anyone knowing how or why you died. Quite specific about the terms of this. I'd rather shoot you, but orders are orders. And I've been thinking: reading about your suicide in the back page of tomorrow's paper will make me laugh _and_ make them happy."

"You don't want to do this, Ocelot. You can't want to do this! We were friends, you just said so-"

"We've never been friends," he said conversationally. Ocelot pushed the needle into Arthur's arm and pressed the liquid down. "Friends don't steal from friends. I saw him first, and he'd have been much better off if he'd chosen me."

Arthur's knees buckled and he tried to ask for mercy, but found he couldn't say a word. Ocelot pulled Arthur up the stairs to the pool. "Parting is such _sweet_ sorrow," said Ocelot. "Goodbye, Arthur."

_This is the way the world ends, this is the way the world ends, this is the way the world ends, not with a bang but a whimper. - T. S. Elliot, The Hollow Men_


	30. Everything Will Always Be All Right

It was a bright, sunny day on the MIT campus, and Hal was proud to be at the top of his class _and_ the youngest graduate student to complete his studies in the whole history of the university. The fact that he was alone with his robotic models after successfully defending his doctoral research paper didn't really bother him much.

"Hal Emmerich?"

Hal turned to see a much older man in cowboy boots walking up to him. He nodded with a bright smile. "That's me."

"I'm here on behalf of a company called ArmsTech. I was wondering if you had some time to talk about your future. I read your thesis, and I think you're going to have some really impressive things to say about robotics in a few years."

"Um... cool! Of course!" Hal hadn't expected the job offers to start yet. "I didn't even send out a resume," he said happily.

"No," said the man offhandedly. "And if you come to work for ArmsTech, I don't think you'll ever need one."

_Who is he? One of what we all are, Pelly: less than a drop in the great blue motion of the sunlit sea. But it seems some of the drops sparkle, Pelly! Some of the drops do sparkle! Run, boy! Run, boy! Run! Oh, run, my boy. - King Arthur, Camelot_


End file.
